For the last nine weeks, I've had a job. It's actually been quite nice to feel like an adult again, earning a paycheck as society has told me I should do. But before I had this job, I was unemployed for two years, just leeching off my then fiancee and now wife. I dunno about you folks, but sometimes I preferred having a job than not - but most often it's the other way around. Either way is good, or at least, it was for me. But I do understand how being unemployed can suck a fat sweaty sack of smegma-laden dicks - and I'm pretty sure I don't have to explain how a job can do the same thing.
My job's actually pretty nice. What I actually do is order parts and manage reports for the manufacturing engineering department at the factory I work for. That probably sounds pretty boring, and sometimes it is, but I am learning a lot of new shit. Which is actually what I wanted to focus on with this particular entry.
While I was unemployed, I was pretty much bored as fuck at any given point in time. I know that having all the free time ever sounds like awesomeness embodied, but when you live somewhere you don't really know anyone and your computer sucks too much to play the most recent pc games, you have no way of buying a better computer because of aforementioned unemployment, and feeling the most epic of guilt trips because you grew up Catholic and your significant other pretty much pays for all your shit because it's hard to find a job and you have an alcohol problem so bad you tremble constantly, you not only feel hopeless, alone, and bored, but fucking hate yourself for not being a god-damned adult and getting a god-damned job like you're supposed to. Maybe not that way for everyone, but that's definitely how I felt.
More on that - I was constantly feeling fucking worthless, every day. What I did to try and make up for it was actually based on my father-in-law's advice: when he was unemployed, he said, he just tried to do something new every day. And, I didn't quite live up to that standard, but in my unemployed time, I definitely did do a lot of shit I hadn't done before, and improved on other things I had done.
During this, I tried painting for the first time. Just a few days ago, I got my first commissioned piece by complete serendipity - I called maintenance over to our apt. cos the air conditioner wasn't working so well. I was painting when they came over, she saw my shit, and asked for the aforementioned piece. It's going to be kind of large, so I'm probably going to get a nice payment for it - plus she's wanting some special kind of paint we don't have yet, but will. To go back to the point - I haven't been painting for over two years and I already got a commission. That's... pretty fucking nice, I think. So... I'm thinking, if I've gotten to the point within that time I can already get interest, I must have some sort of skill. I'm not trying to brag, really, I'm just trying to be honest - she wouldn't have asked if she wasn't impressed.
Another arena I've improved a lot is cooking. Since I was, for the most part, free pretty much every day (aside from cleaning chores), I had to cook dinner whenever possible. I haven't any formal cooking training, but I will say with confidence that some of the things I've made are the best I've eaten. I'm very good with sauces - not so much on chopping things. Aforementioned trembling makes it hard to actually wield a knife and chop things up, so I'm slow about it so as not to slice the ends of my fingers off. But, as I have tried to say, I've been getting better at a lot of shit, and this is one of those things. Experimentation with new ingredients and spices was a little easier when I was unemployed, because, fuck it, might as well do something. Desperation seemed to help not only with this but painting as well.
This might be the point I seem really fucking weird to some people - whenever I get anxious, or otherwise bothered (angry, depressed, pretty much any negative emotion you can throw in here), I clean. I know people reading this aren't dumb - with how fucked I already admitted I am, I must have been cleaning all the time right? You're god-damned right. This house was pretty much spotless until I got employed. Then everything changedwhen the fire nation attacked.
Our house isn't nearly as clean anymore, as might be expected, but not because of anxiousness, but just feeling so tired from working, I can't keep up with it. My wife works more than I do, so I can't really blame her for it, not that I'd want to. With my new job, I'm not worn out physically so much as mentally - it's really strange going from a universe where you can do whatever the fuck you want with virtually no consequences to one where you have to be up and working at a certain place at a certain time, trying to figure out what the fuck your co-workers are wanting you to do because you don't have any formal training knowing what the fuck these parts even ARE, much less how they work with the other parts you're supposed to organize into a more cohesive unit.
Well, this post was supposed to be about how being unemployed was actually a good thing, so I guess I should actually get to that instead of bitching. Perhaps that last sentence in the above paragraph was a good lead-in: the thing about me having a job is that I'm really lost, still, and it's mostly about me having been unemployed so long - also, not having any real formal training. But the things I did learn about while I was unemployed, I wouldn't, couldn't, take back. I'm much better at a lot of things, better at those I knew before - when I had the opportunity to learn at my own pace, even if it WAS out of boredom at times, I learned that motherfucker. Much to the chagrin of people who don't really give a shit, I've been able to make YTP's. I've gotten better at those too.
It seems like, summarily, I've gotten better at things I haven't tried before, and those I have as well. I can't really say, nor could anyone I would think, that that is a bad thing. I really hope I haven't given the impression at any point that I was bragging - that certainly is not the case. Whatever skills I have gained, I know I am not a master at any particular craft. It's fun to think I'm like a bard, in the traditional Dungeons and Dragons sense, that I know a lot of stuff, yes... I'm a Jack-of-all-trades, but master of none. And, really, I'm not sure I ever will be a master of any - but if I can get someone to pay me to do what I love doing, I'm not going to say no.
My job's actually pretty nice. What I actually do is order parts and manage reports for the manufacturing engineering department at the factory I work for. That probably sounds pretty boring, and sometimes it is, but I am learning a lot of new shit. Which is actually what I wanted to focus on with this particular entry.
While I was unemployed, I was pretty much bored as fuck at any given point in time. I know that having all the free time ever sounds like awesomeness embodied, but when you live somewhere you don't really know anyone and your computer sucks too much to play the most recent pc games, you have no way of buying a better computer because of aforementioned unemployment, and feeling the most epic of guilt trips because you grew up Catholic and your significant other pretty much pays for all your shit because it's hard to find a job and you have an alcohol problem so bad you tremble constantly, you not only feel hopeless, alone, and bored, but fucking hate yourself for not being a god-damned adult and getting a god-damned job like you're supposed to. Maybe not that way for everyone, but that's definitely how I felt.
More on that - I was constantly feeling fucking worthless, every day. What I did to try and make up for it was actually based on my father-in-law's advice: when he was unemployed, he said, he just tried to do something new every day. And, I didn't quite live up to that standard, but in my unemployed time, I definitely did do a lot of shit I hadn't done before, and improved on other things I had done.
During this, I tried painting for the first time. Just a few days ago, I got my first commissioned piece by complete serendipity - I called maintenance over to our apt. cos the air conditioner wasn't working so well. I was painting when they came over, she saw my shit, and asked for the aforementioned piece. It's going to be kind of large, so I'm probably going to get a nice payment for it - plus she's wanting some special kind of paint we don't have yet, but will. To go back to the point - I haven't been painting for over two years and I already got a commission. That's... pretty fucking nice, I think. So... I'm thinking, if I've gotten to the point within that time I can already get interest, I must have some sort of skill. I'm not trying to brag, really, I'm just trying to be honest - she wouldn't have asked if she wasn't impressed.
Another arena I've improved a lot is cooking. Since I was, for the most part, free pretty much every day (aside from cleaning chores), I had to cook dinner whenever possible. I haven't any formal cooking training, but I will say with confidence that some of the things I've made are the best I've eaten. I'm very good with sauces - not so much on chopping things. Aforementioned trembling makes it hard to actually wield a knife and chop things up, so I'm slow about it so as not to slice the ends of my fingers off. But, as I have tried to say, I've been getting better at a lot of shit, and this is one of those things. Experimentation with new ingredients and spices was a little easier when I was unemployed, because, fuck it, might as well do something. Desperation seemed to help not only with this but painting as well.
This might be the point I seem really fucking weird to some people - whenever I get anxious, or otherwise bothered (angry, depressed, pretty much any negative emotion you can throw in here), I clean. I know people reading this aren't dumb - with how fucked I already admitted I am, I must have been cleaning all the time right? You're god-damned right. This house was pretty much spotless until I got employed. Then everything changed
Our house isn't nearly as clean anymore, as might be expected, but not because of anxiousness, but just feeling so tired from working, I can't keep up with it. My wife works more than I do, so I can't really blame her for it, not that I'd want to. With my new job, I'm not worn out physically so much as mentally - it's really strange going from a universe where you can do whatever the fuck you want with virtually no consequences to one where you have to be up and working at a certain place at a certain time, trying to figure out what the fuck your co-workers are wanting you to do because you don't have any formal training knowing what the fuck these parts even ARE, much less how they work with the other parts you're supposed to organize into a more cohesive unit.
Well, this post was supposed to be about how being unemployed was actually a good thing, so I guess I should actually get to that instead of bitching. Perhaps that last sentence in the above paragraph was a good lead-in: the thing about me having a job is that I'm really lost, still, and it's mostly about me having been unemployed so long - also, not having any real formal training. But the things I did learn about while I was unemployed, I wouldn't, couldn't, take back. I'm much better at a lot of things, better at those I knew before - when I had the opportunity to learn at my own pace, even if it WAS out of boredom at times, I learned that motherfucker. Much to the chagrin of people who don't really give a shit, I've been able to make YTP's. I've gotten better at those too.
It seems like, summarily, I've gotten better at things I haven't tried before, and those I have as well. I can't really say, nor could anyone I would think, that that is a bad thing. I really hope I haven't given the impression at any point that I was bragging - that certainly is not the case. Whatever skills I have gained, I know I am not a master at any particular craft. It's fun to think I'm like a bard, in the traditional Dungeons and Dragons sense, that I know a lot of stuff, yes... I'm a Jack-of-all-trades, but master of none. And, really, I'm not sure I ever will be a master of any - but if I can get someone to pay me to do what I love doing, I'm not going to say no.