I have a bit of a privilege when it comes to taking trips. My wife's family is wealthy enough that her immediate family has been on almost every continent, so it isn't too uncommon for one or two or all of them to meet up in some country I know about two words of the native language. Her parents live in Baja California, so every couple years when we go down for xmas and new year, I occasionally stumble on the words to ask for the pack of smokes I want in some gas station, only for them to ask me in English what I want because I suck at Spanish.
My wife hasn't been home for xmas or new year in a couple years before this one, so this time, because her siblings wanted it so badly, there was a big deal made of it, and all of us congregated in Mexico City instead. The difference between this trip I just went on and the ones I was used to before are like night and day. Granted, Mexico City has a lot of tourists, but the city where her parents live thrives on the presence of us gringos, so it's all tourism, all the time. Seriously, that's the main source of income for the town. Mexico City is too fucking big to let that shit happen. A quick googling told me it's between New York (on the low end) and Moscow (on the high end) of big cities worldwide.
So, what I thought I'd put here is a few points of things I learned being there instead of in Baja. I would talk about the individual places I visited, but that would end up being the equivalent of a 20 page essay, and no one wants that. Instead, I'll first list the places, then I'll talk about aforementioned things I learned. I know I don't have the names exactly as they are, so I apologize:
- Leon Trotsky's home/museum
- Frida Kahlo's home/museum
- Anthropology museum
- Teotihuacan (wow that didn't get flagged for spell check) pyramids
- Zocalo district (which includes..)
- Hugeass cathedral I don't remember the name of
- Temple Mejor
- Throngs of people I will complain about later
- Zona Rosa (where we stayed)
- Watercolor museum (apparently one of the foremost in the world, but can't be arsed to remember the name or google it at this point)
- Mexican Food Tour (which rocked, and I will discuss, because everyone loves food)
Okay, I saw a lot more than that just walking around, because.. well, Mexico City is fucking huge. But, let's dive into this, mm?
Point 1: Everything You Know Is Wrong
I took two years of Spanish in high school. I never use it, save for my occasional trips down there to her parents' place. If I'm there at her parents' place, I can get by with English. Not so much in Mexico City. Sure, there are plenty who do understand English, and there are a lot of things written in English as well, but for a lot of the museums we went to, there were displays written solely in Spanish. I would have just said espanol except I don't know how to do the tilde above the n character. Anyway - her brother is fluent in Spanish, so he largely served as an interpreter for us. But, after seeing so many Spanish-only displays, and being able to read what the jist of things were, I got a little more confident in my Spanish speaking. Having a background in biology and knowing certain latin terms made some museum displays easier to understand. However, understanding someone speaking Spanish is a completely different world. The cadence of it is so much different than English, I can't keep up. Often, even after hearing something so simple I should understand it with even the most basic knowledge of the Spanish language, her brother would repeat it for me in English and then recognize that I'm dumb as shit, and yes I would like mas cerveza.
Point 2: You Think Wealth Distribution In The States Is Bad?
The poor and the wealthy are always together there. I don't know of a simpler way of saying it. On any given day, I could see a man in a well-tailored suit pass up several people begging for change. Not a gringo - a person who obviously was Hispanic, and was used to seeing this shit every day, as I quickly became accustomed to. I think it was Christmas Eve we were walking along some promenade in some portion of the central district where there was a formal protest going on.. and, as I said, my Spanish is terrible, but from what I could read of the sign they were holding, there was a group of about 40-some individuals protesting the wealth distribution, holed up at a big fountain with golden-looking statues, right in the middle of a place that had a few foreign embassies around. From what I gather of seeing Mexico City, that's one of the biggest places wealth conglomerates, so kudos to them for picking a good spot. I, personally, have zero dollars. I'm unemployed. It's only through the grace of my wife and her family that I'm even allowed to visit such a place. Depending on where I was, I would get hit up for money more often than not, but regardless, I saw at least a dozen such people begging for money per day.
It's not only begging, though. Some try really hard, whether it's through selling nick-knacks or playing musical instruments, all still practically the same thing, but at least they could afford to make that pish or buy that accordion or organ they grind. I remember one day, we had a lunch at an open-air restaurant that was pretty classy. I was sitting at the end of the table, my back to the rest of the plaza, because I have Social Anxiety Disorder and was getting worked up.. no less than four separate music groups played then panhandled after, and about half a dozen people trying to sell things, and an equal amount of straight-up beggars asked me for something in the hour and a half we were there. Ignoring it became easier over time, physically, but didn't make me feel any less like a fucking asshole for ignoring it.
I remember we'd sometimes have to get some rot like milk or orange juice or cigarettes, so we'd trundle down to the 7-11 down the block. More often than not, there'd be some child, no older than 7, just hanging out in front of there with a plastic neon piggy bank, asking for change. You ever feel pissed and sad at the same time? That's exactly what I was feeling. Not pissed at the kids, but their parents, who undoubtedly sent them out to get money by their lonesome. But, I suppose no one was going to hurt them. It's just culture shock to me. Sad, of course, because they were sitting outside a convenience store at any given hour hoping for centavos.
Point 3: Everyone's Family Is Fucking Crazy
For you math fanatics, I have a little equation: a family of 6, two of which are seniors, four of which are married, have to spend over a week together in an apartment with four beds, one and a half bathrooms, and all of the above are at least 30 years old. How long does it take for the aliens to purple when 3 is hats? The answer, obviously, is 9, because green isn't as gauche as polymorphing into a slug.
Seriously, six people living together under the same roof when they don't collide for most of the year is a fucking terrible idea. Everyone wants to control everything under their own perspective, to make sure things run smoothly according to their own perception of what 'smoothly' is, and everyone just ends up arguing with each other.
I, happily, was able to maintain my distance and just watch the drama unfold. Seriously, if you're a fan of soap operas, just pack up your family and send them to an exotic location.
I know my family is... backwater, to put it nicely. I spoke with my mother on the phone earlier to let her know I'm back from Mexico and not, you know, dead, and started to explain some of the stuff we went to see, then stopped when I had to explain to her what anthropology is. At that point, I almost relished the constant bickering of her side of the family, because I imagine if you dropped mine off in there, at least three would have been dead, a few would have been taken for everything they own by the constant begging, and maybe one or two would have got ganked in Zona Rosa.
Point 4: Don't Go To A Very Urban Place If You Have Social Anxiety Disorder
Christmas day, we went to Zocolo, which maybe I'm spelling wrong, but regardless - metric fucktons of people there. I was fine being around it most of the day. We went there because we were trying to look at the xmas lights and the cathedral and the ruins of Temple Mejor. From what I could understand of the signs, the mayor of Mexico City was to address the crowd gathered there for xmas. Eventually, we ended up in a hotel restaurant drinking our various preferred beverages, trying to figure out where to go until night came and we could look at the lights. From there, we found a restaurant which was unsatisfactory, then it was night, and all the lights were on and pictures. ...oh, gods, the pictures... they never stopped for the entirety of the trip. This was no exception, obviously, as I'm about to elaborate on.
After getting back to the main 'square,' I guess I'll put it, there were tons of vendors selling pish all around the cathedral, and tons more people looking at said pish. But, of course, the lights were on, and there was Feliz Navidad everywhere. Tons of pictures. So then, someone gets a wild hair up their arse and decides 'Hey we should go into the cathedral' and everyone is gung-ho except me because please don't take me into that crowd of people.
I was shivering the whole way through the crowd, following them, not because I was cold but because TOO MANY PEOPLE and my senses started overloading. Inside the cathedral was a bit better, as I couldn't see as many, but was still shaken from just being in that big of a crowd. More pictures, of course. Then we exit. More pictures. I get a look at the crowd again, and I'm shaking bad enough my mother-in-law asks my wife if I'm okay, and my brain shuts off and I can barely hear the conversation, but my wife explains I'm in a bad way and we should be off. I can barely light a cigarette by this point, I'm shaking so bad.
Her brother pulls us away from the subway entrance for a couple more pictures and I'm scared and simultaneously furious now. Eventually, we get back to the subway and get home and I end up drinking about a half a fifth in a half hour, crying and furious with myself more than anyone else. I've had freak-outs before, but nothing so severe as that one, in all my life. I kept thinking to myself, "I'm 33, I'm with family, I shouldn't be doing this," which is good old-fashioned Catholic guilt kicking me in the sternum while I'm down.
But seriously, if you can't handle huge crowds, don't fucking go to Zocalo. Or Mexico City for that matter.
Point 5: The Food Almost Makes It Worth Going Just Because
I'm not going to lie, I had some shitty food while I was down in MX, but.. the food tour we took was grand.
You can find good food at the random food stalls on the streets, and some restaurants are good, but if you want to find the BEST food in anywhere you go, take a fucking food tour. This was the first food tour I've ever been on, and most of it was quite excellent. I got to sample multiple kinds of tacos, an amazing ginger lemonade, an ice cream unique to Mexico City (I forget what fruit it was made of, but it's kinda like mango), the best tamale I've ever had, fantastic chocolates made by a world-renowned chocolatier (he had some medal of prestige from Paris or something, I forget the exact story).. and if you DO take such a tour, do it at the beginning of your trip so you know where to go for good grub for the rest of your trip.
If it helps, my mother-in-law has been on food tours in multiple countries, and said this food tour we went on was the best she'd been on. So, if you get the chance - food tour the hell out of wherever you're going early on, then eat delicacies to your heart's content based on what you find.
I think my wife spent about $100 at that chocolate place alone. I think it's called "Que Bo!" if you want to googlemancy that.
Point 6: Holidays: Better When They're Not Just Holidays
All being said thus far.. not a religious person, but getting together for holidays seems mostly like a chore. I know for my family, the tradition isn't going somewhere on vacation, but shacking up in grandma's place and drinking yourself shit-faced on xmas eve, nursing your hangover through xmas dinner, then hoping you have the resolve to drive home.
While down there, we did have presents and such. With so much other stuff to do, though, it almost seems a minor point. I suppose the others liked the gifts I gave, and I did like my Pikachu cap and Eeveelutions t-shirt and Ireland shotglass (they do know me pretty well, I would guess), but.. there's nothing quite like making a holiday into a week-long extravaganza. Devil's Advocate that I am, I got my mother-in-law to smoke with me and talk on multiple occasions, which was nice.. helped calm down a few situations of people getting way too heated than what was called for.. and generally tried to get people to wrench the stick out of their asses and enjoy each other's company, because that's what you fucking do around the holidays.
Not the best xmas spirit, perhaps.. but I like to think I helped.
My wife hasn't been home for xmas or new year in a couple years before this one, so this time, because her siblings wanted it so badly, there was a big deal made of it, and all of us congregated in Mexico City instead. The difference between this trip I just went on and the ones I was used to before are like night and day. Granted, Mexico City has a lot of tourists, but the city where her parents live thrives on the presence of us gringos, so it's all tourism, all the time. Seriously, that's the main source of income for the town. Mexico City is too fucking big to let that shit happen. A quick googling told me it's between New York (on the low end) and Moscow (on the high end) of big cities worldwide.
So, what I thought I'd put here is a few points of things I learned being there instead of in Baja. I would talk about the individual places I visited, but that would end up being the equivalent of a 20 page essay, and no one wants that. Instead, I'll first list the places, then I'll talk about aforementioned things I learned. I know I don't have the names exactly as they are, so I apologize:
- Leon Trotsky's home/museum
- Frida Kahlo's home/museum
- Anthropology museum
- Teotihuacan (wow that didn't get flagged for spell check) pyramids
- Zocalo district (which includes..)
- Hugeass cathedral I don't remember the name of
- Temple Mejor
- Throngs of people I will complain about later
- Zona Rosa (where we stayed)
- Watercolor museum (apparently one of the foremost in the world, but can't be arsed to remember the name or google it at this point)
- Mexican Food Tour (which rocked, and I will discuss, because everyone loves food)
Okay, I saw a lot more than that just walking around, because.. well, Mexico City is fucking huge. But, let's dive into this, mm?
Point 1: Everything You Know Is Wrong
I took two years of Spanish in high school. I never use it, save for my occasional trips down there to her parents' place. If I'm there at her parents' place, I can get by with English. Not so much in Mexico City. Sure, there are plenty who do understand English, and there are a lot of things written in English as well, but for a lot of the museums we went to, there were displays written solely in Spanish. I would have just said espanol except I don't know how to do the tilde above the n character. Anyway - her brother is fluent in Spanish, so he largely served as an interpreter for us. But, after seeing so many Spanish-only displays, and being able to read what the jist of things were, I got a little more confident in my Spanish speaking. Having a background in biology and knowing certain latin terms made some museum displays easier to understand. However, understanding someone speaking Spanish is a completely different world. The cadence of it is so much different than English, I can't keep up. Often, even after hearing something so simple I should understand it with even the most basic knowledge of the Spanish language, her brother would repeat it for me in English and then recognize that I'm dumb as shit, and yes I would like mas cerveza.
Point 2: You Think Wealth Distribution In The States Is Bad?
The poor and the wealthy are always together there. I don't know of a simpler way of saying it. On any given day, I could see a man in a well-tailored suit pass up several people begging for change. Not a gringo - a person who obviously was Hispanic, and was used to seeing this shit every day, as I quickly became accustomed to. I think it was Christmas Eve we were walking along some promenade in some portion of the central district where there was a formal protest going on.. and, as I said, my Spanish is terrible, but from what I could read of the sign they were holding, there was a group of about 40-some individuals protesting the wealth distribution, holed up at a big fountain with golden-looking statues, right in the middle of a place that had a few foreign embassies around. From what I gather of seeing Mexico City, that's one of the biggest places wealth conglomerates, so kudos to them for picking a good spot. I, personally, have zero dollars. I'm unemployed. It's only through the grace of my wife and her family that I'm even allowed to visit such a place. Depending on where I was, I would get hit up for money more often than not, but regardless, I saw at least a dozen such people begging for money per day.
It's not only begging, though. Some try really hard, whether it's through selling nick-knacks or playing musical instruments, all still practically the same thing, but at least they could afford to make that pish or buy that accordion or organ they grind. I remember one day, we had a lunch at an open-air restaurant that was pretty classy. I was sitting at the end of the table, my back to the rest of the plaza, because I have Social Anxiety Disorder and was getting worked up.. no less than four separate music groups played then panhandled after, and about half a dozen people trying to sell things, and an equal amount of straight-up beggars asked me for something in the hour and a half we were there. Ignoring it became easier over time, physically, but didn't make me feel any less like a fucking asshole for ignoring it.
I remember we'd sometimes have to get some rot like milk or orange juice or cigarettes, so we'd trundle down to the 7-11 down the block. More often than not, there'd be some child, no older than 7, just hanging out in front of there with a plastic neon piggy bank, asking for change. You ever feel pissed and sad at the same time? That's exactly what I was feeling. Not pissed at the kids, but their parents, who undoubtedly sent them out to get money by their lonesome. But, I suppose no one was going to hurt them. It's just culture shock to me. Sad, of course, because they were sitting outside a convenience store at any given hour hoping for centavos.
Point 3: Everyone's Family Is Fucking Crazy
For you math fanatics, I have a little equation: a family of 6, two of which are seniors, four of which are married, have to spend over a week together in an apartment with four beds, one and a half bathrooms, and all of the above are at least 30 years old. How long does it take for the aliens to purple when 3 is hats? The answer, obviously, is 9, because green isn't as gauche as polymorphing into a slug.
Seriously, six people living together under the same roof when they don't collide for most of the year is a fucking terrible idea. Everyone wants to control everything under their own perspective, to make sure things run smoothly according to their own perception of what 'smoothly' is, and everyone just ends up arguing with each other.
I, happily, was able to maintain my distance and just watch the drama unfold. Seriously, if you're a fan of soap operas, just pack up your family and send them to an exotic location.
I know my family is... backwater, to put it nicely. I spoke with my mother on the phone earlier to let her know I'm back from Mexico and not, you know, dead, and started to explain some of the stuff we went to see, then stopped when I had to explain to her what anthropology is. At that point, I almost relished the constant bickering of her side of the family, because I imagine if you dropped mine off in there, at least three would have been dead, a few would have been taken for everything they own by the constant begging, and maybe one or two would have got ganked in Zona Rosa.
Point 4: Don't Go To A Very Urban Place If You Have Social Anxiety Disorder
Christmas day, we went to Zocolo, which maybe I'm spelling wrong, but regardless - metric fucktons of people there. I was fine being around it most of the day. We went there because we were trying to look at the xmas lights and the cathedral and the ruins of Temple Mejor. From what I could understand of the signs, the mayor of Mexico City was to address the crowd gathered there for xmas. Eventually, we ended up in a hotel restaurant drinking our various preferred beverages, trying to figure out where to go until night came and we could look at the lights. From there, we found a restaurant which was unsatisfactory, then it was night, and all the lights were on and pictures. ...oh, gods, the pictures... they never stopped for the entirety of the trip. This was no exception, obviously, as I'm about to elaborate on.
After getting back to the main 'square,' I guess I'll put it, there were tons of vendors selling pish all around the cathedral, and tons more people looking at said pish. But, of course, the lights were on, and there was Feliz Navidad everywhere. Tons of pictures. So then, someone gets a wild hair up their arse and decides 'Hey we should go into the cathedral' and everyone is gung-ho except me because please don't take me into that crowd of people.
I was shivering the whole way through the crowd, following them, not because I was cold but because TOO MANY PEOPLE and my senses started overloading. Inside the cathedral was a bit better, as I couldn't see as many, but was still shaken from just being in that big of a crowd. More pictures, of course. Then we exit. More pictures. I get a look at the crowd again, and I'm shaking bad enough my mother-in-law asks my wife if I'm okay, and my brain shuts off and I can barely hear the conversation, but my wife explains I'm in a bad way and we should be off. I can barely light a cigarette by this point, I'm shaking so bad.
Her brother pulls us away from the subway entrance for a couple more pictures and I'm scared and simultaneously furious now. Eventually, we get back to the subway and get home and I end up drinking about a half a fifth in a half hour, crying and furious with myself more than anyone else. I've had freak-outs before, but nothing so severe as that one, in all my life. I kept thinking to myself, "I'm 33, I'm with family, I shouldn't be doing this," which is good old-fashioned Catholic guilt kicking me in the sternum while I'm down.
But seriously, if you can't handle huge crowds, don't fucking go to Zocalo. Or Mexico City for that matter.
Point 5: The Food Almost Makes It Worth Going Just Because
I'm not going to lie, I had some shitty food while I was down in MX, but.. the food tour we took was grand.
You can find good food at the random food stalls on the streets, and some restaurants are good, but if you want to find the BEST food in anywhere you go, take a fucking food tour. This was the first food tour I've ever been on, and most of it was quite excellent. I got to sample multiple kinds of tacos, an amazing ginger lemonade, an ice cream unique to Mexico City (I forget what fruit it was made of, but it's kinda like mango), the best tamale I've ever had, fantastic chocolates made by a world-renowned chocolatier (he had some medal of prestige from Paris or something, I forget the exact story).. and if you DO take such a tour, do it at the beginning of your trip so you know where to go for good grub for the rest of your trip.
If it helps, my mother-in-law has been on food tours in multiple countries, and said this food tour we went on was the best she'd been on. So, if you get the chance - food tour the hell out of wherever you're going early on, then eat delicacies to your heart's content based on what you find.
I think my wife spent about $100 at that chocolate place alone. I think it's called "Que Bo!" if you want to googlemancy that.
Point 6: Holidays: Better When They're Not Just Holidays
All being said thus far.. not a religious person, but getting together for holidays seems mostly like a chore. I know for my family, the tradition isn't going somewhere on vacation, but shacking up in grandma's place and drinking yourself shit-faced on xmas eve, nursing your hangover through xmas dinner, then hoping you have the resolve to drive home.
While down there, we did have presents and such. With so much other stuff to do, though, it almost seems a minor point. I suppose the others liked the gifts I gave, and I did like my Pikachu cap and Eeveelutions t-shirt and Ireland shotglass (they do know me pretty well, I would guess), but.. there's nothing quite like making a holiday into a week-long extravaganza. Devil's Advocate that I am, I got my mother-in-law to smoke with me and talk on multiple occasions, which was nice.. helped calm down a few situations of people getting way too heated than what was called for.. and generally tried to get people to wrench the stick out of their asses and enjoy each other's company, because that's what you fucking do around the holidays.
Not the best xmas spirit, perhaps.. but I like to think I helped.