I tend to have strange luck and in in strange circumstances. I'm not really sure I'd call it "good" luck, but it can sometimes be. However, this is about luck way beyond anything I can control (not like anyone can control luck unless you're in an anime), so, it's more of the weird kind, as alluded to with the title.
I have zero friends out here, really - I have one set of neighbors I get along with, and their daughter is adorable, but beyond getting to hold babies who puke on me and make it look cute, I have some I've been trying to get to know, and it's mainly cos KY is like lonely as shit, yo.
I have one neighbor who, let's call him "Matt." Matt is a convicted felon and spent some time in jail. Evidently, he had a kid with someone in a state and moved out of it before the other parent told him he's invested his genes in a squalling ball that flings bodily fluids all over. Anyway, he got caught in a parking lot of wal-trash one point at crossing the state, because, if you're going to troll for negligent parents, you do it at fucking wal-trash. So, dude served his time and now pays child support, having a felony because he didn't even know about this kid, and has trouble finding a job and such, as felons are wont to do.
Now.. call me stupid maybe, but when they were moving in, I told dude to come over and have a beer with me if he felt like it because, curiosity on my part, plus, hey - doesn't matter if you're a felon, moving shit fucking sucks, so having a beer with a new friendly neighbor, okay, fine, I can't say it was a favor because it was mostly the curiosity. Anyway, dude shows up, we shoot the shit for a while, he goes back to his place.
He's not legally married to the chick whose name is on the lease, though he was before at one time, and they're trying to work it out. Meanwhile, they have a 25-y.o. son who lives there too, in a two-bedroom apt. Also, he can't legally be here because you can't sign the paperwork and live here if you're a felon, but, who am I to snitch? I'm kinda wondering if I can maybe play magic sometimes with his son - he looks kinda like Hurley from Lost. I'm a terrible person.
So, let's get down to the business of my other neighbor. Let's call this guy "John." John also has a criminal record, but it's for domestic abuse. Surprise - it turns out he never hit her and she framed him for it, and he got convicted anyway, serving for a misdemeanor. The way I met John was yesterday, I went out to smoke a cigarette and noticed some dude couldn't start his scooter, so I asked if he needed a jump - which, he said yes, so I went back in after smoke to get jacket and car keys so I could give aforementioned jump. Then, after I get outside again, I'm told he needs a screwdriver, so I say "hang on" and go get my toolbox.
John brings his scooter over, we try to jump it while my car's running... no-go. So it's probably a starter or alternator thing I say, and recommend a place to take his scooter. In the midst of this, little kid comes up and asks John about stuff - so I ask, 'hey, that your kid,' and get an affirmative response. I'm not really sure how to take someone who's got domestic abuse but still has parental control at the same time, but.. after trying repeatedly to start the scooter, we give up after it's apparent it isn't going to work.
I'm trying to be nice and all good-neighborly and shit, so I tell him hey, if you need shit, this is where I live. "Matt" from before lives caddy-corner to me. "John" lives across the hall from him and right next to me.
Earlier today, John came up and bummed a smoke off me. Then, later, he came back and wanted another. I basically said, "Look dude, I'm cool with you bumming cigarettes and all, but can we just like, have a time where we have a beer and kick back and shit?" Then he asked if I had said beer, which I did, so then the plan was go over there with beer and cigarettes and chill.
So.. I head over, beers and smokes in tow, and we sit on the couch while he flips through channels trying to find some shit to watch while we make small talk. I'm getting a little invasive with my questioning, because, hey, you share a beer and a smoke with someone, you get to know 'em, right? Well.. the beers go down, the cigs too, and we're just kinda bullshitting.. and dude has never played chess before. This is an affront to me, so I'm like, we gotta play right fucking now, and because I'm turbo nerdy, I'm going to bring my magic cards too.
Well, he says I can just come in, I don't have to knock, that's nice. So I grab my chess board and my N64 messenger bag filled with dice and magic cards, because YES WE CONVERT ANOTHER TODAY! .. and then, I teach him how to play chess. I beat him, but it's not like I brought my a-game.. still trying to teach, y'know.. but hey, he knows how to play chess now, cool. Then we move on to checkers. I win the first, then he fucking schools me in second round. Okay.. but now it's magic time bitch, so I get the cards out and we're playing.. trying to teach him how and such, and it's not really friendly, as my deck is blue/red with all kinds of "fuck you" type of cards.. but in the midst of playing, I'm like, "Hey, where's John Jr." and he says something about his wife having him and he'll be over later and then more blue and red cards and eventually I asked, hey is this shit boring? "Fuck yeah." so, that was about the point I left.
So... I guess what I'm learning from all this is that people with criminal backgrounds suck at nerd games. Or, being nerdy in general. I mean, if Matt's son, Hurley (seriously, it's like a spitting image) came up and was like hey, look at my shiny Charizard, I'd be all like LET ME SHOW YOU MY FLORGES COLLECTION and then we'd have a movie-worthy bromance, but no, right now it's just, hey, believe I didn't do this shit and I'm not terrible! (Nor is my dad! - says Pseudo-Hurley.)
Well, yeah, I want to believe that, Matt and John, and you I can share a beer with, but I don't know what to do with you because every time I reach out to people, I end up befriending convicts, and I don't know if that says more about you, me, or this weirdass time-space continuum thing we live in. Please tell me you know what that is. But I'm not sure if I'm going to believe you anyway, because convicts. Dude, I keep an open mind, but.. fuck man.
I have zero friends out here, really - I have one set of neighbors I get along with, and their daughter is adorable, but beyond getting to hold babies who puke on me and make it look cute, I have some I've been trying to get to know, and it's mainly cos KY is like lonely as shit, yo.
I have one neighbor who, let's call him "Matt." Matt is a convicted felon and spent some time in jail. Evidently, he had a kid with someone in a state and moved out of it before the other parent told him he's invested his genes in a squalling ball that flings bodily fluids all over. Anyway, he got caught in a parking lot of wal-trash one point at crossing the state, because, if you're going to troll for negligent parents, you do it at fucking wal-trash. So, dude served his time and now pays child support, having a felony because he didn't even know about this kid, and has trouble finding a job and such, as felons are wont to do.
Now.. call me stupid maybe, but when they were moving in, I told dude to come over and have a beer with me if he felt like it because, curiosity on my part, plus, hey - doesn't matter if you're a felon, moving shit fucking sucks, so having a beer with a new friendly neighbor, okay, fine, I can't say it was a favor because it was mostly the curiosity. Anyway, dude shows up, we shoot the shit for a while, he goes back to his place.
He's not legally married to the chick whose name is on the lease, though he was before at one time, and they're trying to work it out. Meanwhile, they have a 25-y.o. son who lives there too, in a two-bedroom apt. Also, he can't legally be here because you can't sign the paperwork and live here if you're a felon, but, who am I to snitch? I'm kinda wondering if I can maybe play magic sometimes with his son - he looks kinda like Hurley from Lost. I'm a terrible person.
So, let's get down to the business of my other neighbor. Let's call this guy "John." John also has a criminal record, but it's for domestic abuse. Surprise - it turns out he never hit her and she framed him for it, and he got convicted anyway, serving for a misdemeanor. The way I met John was yesterday, I went out to smoke a cigarette and noticed some dude couldn't start his scooter, so I asked if he needed a jump - which, he said yes, so I went back in after smoke to get jacket and car keys so I could give aforementioned jump. Then, after I get outside again, I'm told he needs a screwdriver, so I say "hang on" and go get my toolbox.
John brings his scooter over, we try to jump it while my car's running... no-go. So it's probably a starter or alternator thing I say, and recommend a place to take his scooter. In the midst of this, little kid comes up and asks John about stuff - so I ask, 'hey, that your kid,' and get an affirmative response. I'm not really sure how to take someone who's got domestic abuse but still has parental control at the same time, but.. after trying repeatedly to start the scooter, we give up after it's apparent it isn't going to work.
I'm trying to be nice and all good-neighborly and shit, so I tell him hey, if you need shit, this is where I live. "Matt" from before lives caddy-corner to me. "John" lives across the hall from him and right next to me.
Earlier today, John came up and bummed a smoke off me. Then, later, he came back and wanted another. I basically said, "Look dude, I'm cool with you bumming cigarettes and all, but can we just like, have a time where we have a beer and kick back and shit?" Then he asked if I had said beer, which I did, so then the plan was go over there with beer and cigarettes and chill.
So.. I head over, beers and smokes in tow, and we sit on the couch while he flips through channels trying to find some shit to watch while we make small talk. I'm getting a little invasive with my questioning, because, hey, you share a beer and a smoke with someone, you get to know 'em, right? Well.. the beers go down, the cigs too, and we're just kinda bullshitting.. and dude has never played chess before. This is an affront to me, so I'm like, we gotta play right fucking now, and because I'm turbo nerdy, I'm going to bring my magic cards too.
Well, he says I can just come in, I don't have to knock, that's nice. So I grab my chess board and my N64 messenger bag filled with dice and magic cards, because YES WE CONVERT ANOTHER TODAY! .. and then, I teach him how to play chess. I beat him, but it's not like I brought my a-game.. still trying to teach, y'know.. but hey, he knows how to play chess now, cool. Then we move on to checkers. I win the first, then he fucking schools me in second round. Okay.. but now it's magic time bitch, so I get the cards out and we're playing.. trying to teach him how and such, and it's not really friendly, as my deck is blue/red with all kinds of "fuck you" type of cards.. but in the midst of playing, I'm like, "Hey, where's John Jr." and he says something about his wife having him and he'll be over later and then more blue and red cards and eventually I asked, hey is this shit boring? "Fuck yeah." so, that was about the point I left.
So... I guess what I'm learning from all this is that people with criminal backgrounds suck at nerd games. Or, being nerdy in general. I mean, if Matt's son, Hurley (seriously, it's like a spitting image) came up and was like hey, look at my shiny Charizard, I'd be all like LET ME SHOW YOU MY FLORGES COLLECTION and then we'd have a movie-worthy bromance, but no, right now it's just, hey, believe I didn't do this shit and I'm not terrible! (Nor is my dad! - says Pseudo-Hurley.)
Well, yeah, I want to believe that, Matt and John, and you I can share a beer with, but I don't know what to do with you because every time I reach out to people, I end up befriending convicts, and I don't know if that says more about you, me, or this weirdass time-space continuum thing we live in. Please tell me you know what that is. But I'm not sure if I'm going to believe you anyway, because convicts. Dude, I keep an open mind, but.. fuck man.