Have you ever had such a bad series of events where you would wind up into work the next day? Well, I certainly did last week. Long story short, it began as a pimple a few months ago, evolved due to a shaving accident, and had to be removed in surgery. I was patched up and went into work the next day. But what does this have to do with today’s episode?
Two words: Kevin Smith. While it should sum up the review, it doesn’t. It helps sum up the film that he made: Clerks. He first made this for just under $30,000 (not counting the post-production), and the movie went on to make $3,000,000, making it a box-office success, and a cult film in the eyes of many. It also won a couple of awards, made stars out of the debuting stars, spawned a franchise series, and even brought to life the View Askewniverse world, which couldn’t have been done without this movie. But all things considered and all things pushed aside, does it still hold up to this day? Let’s find out…
…The VHS Surprises…
Before we begin, I did not pick this up at the usual video shop that I visit frequently every Thursday. Nope, I picked it up at a School sale in Narrabeen (they only have them once every three months), which actually had a variety of Videocassettes there. I also bought two Michael Jackson videocassettes (one of which released by CEL Home Video), Jailhouse Rock (which sadly doesn’t work), Lord of the Rings – The Two Towers, a special Top Gear DVD, and a limited edition of the Pokemon Black & White Strategy Guide/Pokedex.
Anyway, The movie was released on video by 21st Century Pictures (no relation to 21st Century Fox or 21st Century Film Corporation) sometime in the 90s with help from NewVision, and was rated R, despite the ‘medium level coarse language’. It was rated MA in 2008, but subsequently returned to the R rating soon after for some reason. It also features the accolades and comments the film has received, which include:
The videocassette, on the other hand, tells a different story. While it is unique that part of the videocassette and the front sticker had gold text to stand out, the top sticker is missing (which normally features the text in gold for some reason), there are remnants of a barcode sticker, the ‘Video Ezy’ Security Sticker is hanging on by a thread, and the front sticker has seen better days. And I also learned something (which was well before I bought this Videocassette); if there is a side that says ‘VOID’ repeatedly until it runs out of space in the small rectangle, it means that someone removed the security sticker.
Credit goes to danielgonline for this informative anti-piracy message. I'd take that over any other piracy ad every day, regardless of how sudden it pops up.
Well, when I popped it in, the first thing I saw, after a void of black for 21 seconds, we see a regular that appeared on many Australian videocassettes. Unlike other modern anti-piracy ads (including the "YOU WOULDN'T STEAL A CAR" piracy ad), this one is more upfront, which gives you time to read, as the announcer reads as if he was telling a story to a child. Following that, we get a ‘Copy Protected’ logo on a light blue screen before we see the mandatory black warning screen.
And after 110 seconds, the 21st Century Pictures logo appears… and it looks cheesy at best, placated on a black/purple background, with the gold engravings set on a marble background. Without any indications, the movie brings us the first preview – All Men are Liars (rated PG, Coming Soon), which tells the story of a young man who crossdresses as a girl, with interesting results. The next is called ‘Spanking the Monkey’ (Rated R, Coming Soon) which, I guess, tells the story of a son trying to take of his mother, while doing a series of tasks to balance.
Credit goes to Evan Lewis for the logo. See the logo for yourself and you be the judge.
The third preview, after a moment of Italian language, we find out that the movie is called ‘Queen Margot’ (La Reine Margot, Rated MA, Coming Soon), where she is forced to live a life of an unconvincing marriage, as the St. Bartholomew’s war takes place five days later. The next is a more raunchy film named ‘Redheads’ (Rated M, Coming Soon), though it does have an interesting mix of crime in the trailer. I do hope it turns out well, if I ever have the chance to watch it.
The fifth preview is entitled ‘Public Enemy No. 1’ (Rated R, Coming Soon), with Ma Barker as the Public Enemy, battling against the FBI, which sounds like an interesting drama movie. Also, I swear that the announcer is Don LaFontaine, who had a history lending his voice to many Cannon film trailers. The sixth is Somebody to Love (Rated M, Coming Soon), featuring the late Anthony Quinn, who also appeared in the Schwarzenegger-starring box office flop Last Action Hero.
And the last film on offer is Erotique (Rated R, Coming Soon), which is exactly what it is. If you don’t know why its rated R, well, a lot of nude bodyparts are in that film, and a comment claims that the film ‘goes all the way’, so I’ll leave it at that. And finally, we see the Ratings Advice trailer, which was another common thing that appeared, showcasing a couple of films, including Back to the Future, Part III and Terminator 2. And we get to see the warning, Rated R, with only coarse language mentioned.
Credit goes to TakingofPelhamify for the logo. It is without a doubt, the most jarringly animated logo ever made in my opinion.
And then we get to possibly the worse thing that could start off the movie. We see a clown walking to a changeroom, where there’s a child that looks a lot like Carl Wheezer’s cousin playing ball. He his pet by the clown before he infamously changes into something that you wouldn’t want to see a bald fat man wearing. With the changeroom falling, it segues to the logo title ‘View Askew Productions’. To me, it just seems downright nightmarish.
But after that image people would try to repress, we then get to the movie, which is in black and white throughout, and centering on Dante with the nine rings of hell, amongst other main characters including Jay and Silent Bob. Speaking of which, the movie soon features its soundtrack, featuring a series of grunge-rock bands, including (as the VHS showcases):
Credit goes to daculto for the trailer. According to the brief introductory that lasts 16 seconds, a person who goes by the name Matthew Cohen made the trailer not only for this, but also for Pulp Fiction.
And now the most important part: The ending. I’m aware that Clerks has a tale of two endings, one of which was the original, and the other being cut short. In the end, I was given the short straw, as the music starts playing when Randal throws the sign at Dante. And with the relatively short credits, and the opening previews included, the movie is in fact 103 minutes. However, the copy I got features the theatrical trailer for Clerks (after you wait about 20 seconds in the Australian VHS), as it finally closes with the statement: “Open for business this October”, which is somewhat a compromise as an easter egg.
And now, my thoughts on Clerks. The major flaw with this film is obviously what Swap Meet and This is Spinal Tap have suffered with: A lack of plot. Other than that, it is definitely an interesting movie, with Kevin Smith doing a remarkably good job for his first run as director. And the fact that the movie is in black and white just makes the film stand out even more.
Final Score
VHS Cover: 8.5/10 – The sole downside is the white background of the VHS cover.
Videocassette: 6/10 – It appears to be missing a couple of things, such as the top label and the ‘Security Sticker’ that says ‘VOID’ Repeatedly.
Quality: 6.5/10 – Consistent small dots of white and minor parts of flickering is what brought the VHS down slightly.
Warning: 8.5/10 – Features the ‘HAVE YOU GOT WHAT YOU PAID FOR’ ad, the ‘Ratings Advice’ ad, the ‘Copy Protection’ warning screen, and the Warning screen that has appeared on Australian Non-CIC Universal Videocassettes.
Logo: 3/10 – The 21st Century Pictures logo is cheesy, whilst the ‘View Askew’ logo looks haunting.
Previews/Other Features: 9/10 – Seven films. That’s one way to start off a Videocassette.
Final Score: 41.5/60 – Good. I’m surprised that an unknown VHS company has scored such a good mark with the Videocassette, but it does almost everything right, including the previews and the VHS Cover.
Two words: Kevin Smith. While it should sum up the review, it doesn’t. It helps sum up the film that he made: Clerks. He first made this for just under $30,000 (not counting the post-production), and the movie went on to make $3,000,000, making it a box-office success, and a cult film in the eyes of many. It also won a couple of awards, made stars out of the debuting stars, spawned a franchise series, and even brought to life the View Askewniverse world, which couldn’t have been done without this movie. But all things considered and all things pushed aside, does it still hold up to this day? Let’s find out…
…The VHS Surprises…
Before we begin, I did not pick this up at the usual video shop that I visit frequently every Thursday. Nope, I picked it up at a School sale in Narrabeen (they only have them once every three months), which actually had a variety of Videocassettes there. I also bought two Michael Jackson videocassettes (one of which released by CEL Home Video), Jailhouse Rock (which sadly doesn’t work), Lord of the Rings – The Two Towers, a special Top Gear DVD, and a limited edition of the Pokemon Black & White Strategy Guide/Pokedex.
Anyway, The movie was released on video by 21st Century Pictures (no relation to 21st Century Fox or 21st Century Film Corporation) sometime in the 90s with help from NewVision, and was rated R, despite the ‘medium level coarse language’. It was rated MA in 2008, but subsequently returned to the R rating soon after for some reason. It also features the accolades and comments the film has received, which include:
- The ‘Filmmaker’s Trophy Award’ (Sundance ’94)
- The ‘International Critics Week’ (Cannes ’94)
- “The Comedy Event of the Year!” – Rolling Stone (Peter Travers)
- “…let’s just say it’s a hard film not to like.” – Newsweek (Halloween ’94)
- “Howlingly Funny!” – Paper Magazine (Dennis Darmody)
- “A Grunge movie par excellence!” – Variety (Todd McCarthy)
The videocassette, on the other hand, tells a different story. While it is unique that part of the videocassette and the front sticker had gold text to stand out, the top sticker is missing (which normally features the text in gold for some reason), there are remnants of a barcode sticker, the ‘Video Ezy’ Security Sticker is hanging on by a thread, and the front sticker has seen better days. And I also learned something (which was well before I bought this Videocassette); if there is a side that says ‘VOID’ repeatedly until it runs out of space in the small rectangle, it means that someone removed the security sticker.
Credit goes to danielgonline for this informative anti-piracy message. I'd take that over any other piracy ad every day, regardless of how sudden it pops up.
Well, when I popped it in, the first thing I saw, after a void of black for 21 seconds, we see a regular that appeared on many Australian videocassettes. Unlike other modern anti-piracy ads (including the "YOU WOULDN'T STEAL A CAR" piracy ad), this one is more upfront, which gives you time to read, as the announcer reads as if he was telling a story to a child. Following that, we get a ‘Copy Protected’ logo on a light blue screen before we see the mandatory black warning screen.
And after 110 seconds, the 21st Century Pictures logo appears… and it looks cheesy at best, placated on a black/purple background, with the gold engravings set on a marble background. Without any indications, the movie brings us the first preview – All Men are Liars (rated PG, Coming Soon), which tells the story of a young man who crossdresses as a girl, with interesting results. The next is called ‘Spanking the Monkey’ (Rated R, Coming Soon) which, I guess, tells the story of a son trying to take of his mother, while doing a series of tasks to balance.
Credit goes to Evan Lewis for the logo. See the logo for yourself and you be the judge.
The third preview, after a moment of Italian language, we find out that the movie is called ‘Queen Margot’ (La Reine Margot, Rated MA, Coming Soon), where she is forced to live a life of an unconvincing marriage, as the St. Bartholomew’s war takes place five days later. The next is a more raunchy film named ‘Redheads’ (Rated M, Coming Soon), though it does have an interesting mix of crime in the trailer. I do hope it turns out well, if I ever have the chance to watch it.
The fifth preview is entitled ‘Public Enemy No. 1’ (Rated R, Coming Soon), with Ma Barker as the Public Enemy, battling against the FBI, which sounds like an interesting drama movie. Also, I swear that the announcer is Don LaFontaine, who had a history lending his voice to many Cannon film trailers. The sixth is Somebody to Love (Rated M, Coming Soon), featuring the late Anthony Quinn, who also appeared in the Schwarzenegger-starring box office flop Last Action Hero.
And the last film on offer is Erotique (Rated R, Coming Soon), which is exactly what it is. If you don’t know why its rated R, well, a lot of nude bodyparts are in that film, and a comment claims that the film ‘goes all the way’, so I’ll leave it at that. And finally, we see the Ratings Advice trailer, which was another common thing that appeared, showcasing a couple of films, including Back to the Future, Part III and Terminator 2. And we get to see the warning, Rated R, with only coarse language mentioned.
Credit goes to TakingofPelhamify for the logo. It is without a doubt, the most jarringly animated logo ever made in my opinion.
And then we get to possibly the worse thing that could start off the movie. We see a clown walking to a changeroom, where there’s a child that looks a lot like Carl Wheezer’s cousin playing ball. He his pet by the clown before he infamously changes into something that you wouldn’t want to see a bald fat man wearing. With the changeroom falling, it segues to the logo title ‘View Askew Productions’. To me, it just seems downright nightmarish.
But after that image people would try to repress, we then get to the movie, which is in black and white throughout, and centering on Dante with the nine rings of hell, amongst other main characters including Jay and Silent Bob. Speaking of which, the movie soon features its soundtrack, featuring a series of grunge-rock bands, including (as the VHS showcases):
- Bad Religion
- Soul Asylum
- Alice in Chains
- Seaweed
- The Jesus Lizard
Credit goes to daculto for the trailer. According to the brief introductory that lasts 16 seconds, a person who goes by the name Matthew Cohen made the trailer not only for this, but also for Pulp Fiction.
And now the most important part: The ending. I’m aware that Clerks has a tale of two endings, one of which was the original, and the other being cut short. In the end, I was given the short straw, as the music starts playing when Randal throws the sign at Dante. And with the relatively short credits, and the opening previews included, the movie is in fact 103 minutes. However, the copy I got features the theatrical trailer for Clerks (after you wait about 20 seconds in the Australian VHS), as it finally closes with the statement: “Open for business this October”, which is somewhat a compromise as an easter egg.
And now, my thoughts on Clerks. The major flaw with this film is obviously what Swap Meet and This is Spinal Tap have suffered with: A lack of plot. Other than that, it is definitely an interesting movie, with Kevin Smith doing a remarkably good job for his first run as director. And the fact that the movie is in black and white just makes the film stand out even more.
Final Score
VHS Cover: 8.5/10 – The sole downside is the white background of the VHS cover.
Videocassette: 6/10 – It appears to be missing a couple of things, such as the top label and the ‘Security Sticker’ that says ‘VOID’ Repeatedly.
Quality: 6.5/10 – Consistent small dots of white and minor parts of flickering is what brought the VHS down slightly.
Warning: 8.5/10 – Features the ‘HAVE YOU GOT WHAT YOU PAID FOR’ ad, the ‘Ratings Advice’ ad, the ‘Copy Protection’ warning screen, and the Warning screen that has appeared on Australian Non-CIC Universal Videocassettes.
Logo: 3/10 – The 21st Century Pictures logo is cheesy, whilst the ‘View Askew’ logo looks haunting.
Previews/Other Features: 9/10 – Seven films. That’s one way to start off a Videocassette.
Final Score: 41.5/60 – Good. I’m surprised that an unknown VHS company has scored such a good mark with the Videocassette, but it does almost everything right, including the previews and the VHS Cover.