So there's this guy on YouTube who made a Top 10 list saying which pokemon he'd eat. I agreed with most of them, but I wanted to be original and not a piece of crap and rip off his idea, so here's a list of pokemon I wouldn't eat
#10-ANY POISON TYPE
![Posted Image]()
Right off the bat, I'm just looking out for my health. You'd be a dumbass to eat something poisonous. Most of these pokemon don't look like anthing especially tasty anyway. I don't even know how the hell you'd try to eat a Gengar. It's all ethereal and shit. Snakes aren't tasty. They're just a spine and rubbery flesh. And Wheezing is just a tumor and smoke. There is no reason whatsoever to eat them
#9-GOLEM
![Posted Image]()
There's eating rocks like a retarded starving animal, then there's eating a rock that explodes. I put Golem because maybe Geodude and Graveler could be cracked open and they'll have some weird soft inner core or something, but Golem always explodes. Why? He has to have some sort of crazy ass chemical makeup to just blow up on command. He just might be filled with potassium and lets its get wet or some shit. Whatever the case, it seems like it'd be a fruitless effort to go and eat a giant rock. That's just stupid. "oh, a rock. Let me go eat it." Man, fuck off.
#8-KLEFKI
![Posted Image]()
Same case. The fuck are you eating keys for? Trying to find the key to your heart? Imagine the sharp, rigged key edges going down your throat, scraping the edges of your esophagus and leaving their mark. Then as you sit trying to digest, they start rattling in your gut, jabbing at your organs like your liver and kidneys, poking holes like a person boiling hotdogs. And as you prepare to shit them out, they forcibly slide out your intestines. dragging their edges as they prepare to reach your asshole, where soon, you will feel the worst of all the pain as you shit keys and blood.
#7-MAGCARGO
![Posted Image]()
Humans shouldn't even be able to interact with this flaming hell beast. It's body temperature is 18,000 degrees Fahrenheit. Most lifeforms will die at least at 300 degrees. How does this beast go about it's day not killing everything in its wake? It doesn;t even need to try. Lakes would dry up and trees would combust. Sometimes I eat spicy food that is so spicy that it's not spicy; it just hurts. This would be one. I'd be like Chester Cheetah eating hot Cheetos and breathing fire, killing myself because those flames would burn me up as I let them out.
#6-PINECO
![Posted Image]()
I've tried pine cones. Please, don't eat them. They hurt. They linger. You might go to the hospital. Making it a pokemon isn't going to change anything, it's probably going to hurt more.
#5-CACTURNE
![Posted Image]()
I've also had cactus. You gotta know how to mix it good to be any good, if not its weird. But look a it. It's not going to let you eat it. It stalks travelers at night, making sure while they're all alone in the desert and tired, so it can kill for its own amusement. You wouldn't eat a crow, would you? You'd just be sending yourself to hell. Plus not all cacti are edible. You might poison yourself like and idiot and kill yourself eating cacti. How would your mother feel?
#4-GARBODOR
![Posted Image]()
Ok, unless you're Johnny Knoxville or a bum, there is no reason to be eating garbage. NO REASON! I don't even know what kind of disgusting anatomy this pokemon possesses, gutting it of its trash body is not worth the hassle. It's probably all garbage. Goddammit why would you ever? No one even likes this guy. This is like the pokemon that would appear in a really poor country that kids would only train because they got nothing else. I bet the star of pokemons Slumdog Millionaire had one of these.
#3-AGGRON
![Posted Image]()
This is a pokemon I wouldn't eat because it's so majestic. It's a metal dinosaur! It's sooooooo rad! If anything, I'll let it eat me. I mean, c'mon. Only a real piece of shit would want to kill this guy, like those douchebag poachers in Africa. It's just too much trouble to want to kill and for what? A metal carapace? I wouldn't eat this guy for the same reason other people wont eat horses.
#2-JYNX
![Posted Image]()
SLUT! I'M NOT EATING A SLUT! NO. NOOOOOO! FUCK THAT! I DON'T EVEN THINK YOU CAN. IT LOOKS LIKE IT WOULD BE A MUSHY LIKE WHEN YOU BOIL COCA COLA. YOU'D BE EATING MOLTEN LAVA-Y SHIT! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! THERE IS NEVER A REASON TO EAT THIS POKEMON. IF YOUR NOT IN THE CITY FINDING THEM, YOUR IN THE ARCTIC, WHERE THERE ARE PLENTY OF BETTER TASTING POKEMON. LIKE A SEEL!
#1-ARCEUS
![Posted Image]()
I'd imagine eating Arceus would lead to a Third Impact-like scenario. I mean, first off, you'd have to have planned to capture and slaughter Arceus and account for its power. Then you'd have to account that it will end the world then and there. Would it really be worth committing deicide for what may or may not be okay tasty meat? No. Maybe you could eat other legendaries like Lugia or Zekrom, but I'd be smart to leave it alone.
Thanks for reading!
#10-ANY POISON TYPE
Right off the bat, I'm just looking out for my health. You'd be a dumbass to eat something poisonous. Most of these pokemon don't look like anthing especially tasty anyway. I don't even know how the hell you'd try to eat a Gengar. It's all ethereal and shit. Snakes aren't tasty. They're just a spine and rubbery flesh. And Wheezing is just a tumor and smoke. There is no reason whatsoever to eat them
#9-GOLEM
There's eating rocks like a retarded starving animal, then there's eating a rock that explodes. I put Golem because maybe Geodude and Graveler could be cracked open and they'll have some weird soft inner core or something, but Golem always explodes. Why? He has to have some sort of crazy ass chemical makeup to just blow up on command. He just might be filled with potassium and lets its get wet or some shit. Whatever the case, it seems like it'd be a fruitless effort to go and eat a giant rock. That's just stupid. "oh, a rock. Let me go eat it." Man, fuck off.
#8-KLEFKI
Same case. The fuck are you eating keys for? Trying to find the key to your heart? Imagine the sharp, rigged key edges going down your throat, scraping the edges of your esophagus and leaving their mark. Then as you sit trying to digest, they start rattling in your gut, jabbing at your organs like your liver and kidneys, poking holes like a person boiling hotdogs. And as you prepare to shit them out, they forcibly slide out your intestines. dragging their edges as they prepare to reach your asshole, where soon, you will feel the worst of all the pain as you shit keys and blood.
#7-MAGCARGO
Humans shouldn't even be able to interact with this flaming hell beast. It's body temperature is 18,000 degrees Fahrenheit. Most lifeforms will die at least at 300 degrees. How does this beast go about it's day not killing everything in its wake? It doesn;t even need to try. Lakes would dry up and trees would combust. Sometimes I eat spicy food that is so spicy that it's not spicy; it just hurts. This would be one. I'd be like Chester Cheetah eating hot Cheetos and breathing fire, killing myself because those flames would burn me up as I let them out.
#6-PINECO
I've tried pine cones. Please, don't eat them. They hurt. They linger. You might go to the hospital. Making it a pokemon isn't going to change anything, it's probably going to hurt more.
#5-CACTURNE
I've also had cactus. You gotta know how to mix it good to be any good, if not its weird. But look a it. It's not going to let you eat it. It stalks travelers at night, making sure while they're all alone in the desert and tired, so it can kill for its own amusement. You wouldn't eat a crow, would you? You'd just be sending yourself to hell. Plus not all cacti are edible. You might poison yourself like and idiot and kill yourself eating cacti. How would your mother feel?
#4-GARBODOR
Ok, unless you're Johnny Knoxville or a bum, there is no reason to be eating garbage. NO REASON! I don't even know what kind of disgusting anatomy this pokemon possesses, gutting it of its trash body is not worth the hassle. It's probably all garbage. Goddammit why would you ever? No one even likes this guy. This is like the pokemon that would appear in a really poor country that kids would only train because they got nothing else. I bet the star of pokemons Slumdog Millionaire had one of these.
#3-AGGRON
This is a pokemon I wouldn't eat because it's so majestic. It's a metal dinosaur! It's sooooooo rad! If anything, I'll let it eat me. I mean, c'mon. Only a real piece of shit would want to kill this guy, like those douchebag poachers in Africa. It's just too much trouble to want to kill and for what? A metal carapace? I wouldn't eat this guy for the same reason other people wont eat horses.
#2-JYNX
SLUT! I'M NOT EATING A SLUT! NO. NOOOOOO! FUCK THAT! I DON'T EVEN THINK YOU CAN. IT LOOKS LIKE IT WOULD BE A MUSHY LIKE WHEN YOU BOIL COCA COLA. YOU'D BE EATING MOLTEN LAVA-Y SHIT! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! THERE IS NEVER A REASON TO EAT THIS POKEMON. IF YOUR NOT IN THE CITY FINDING THEM, YOUR IN THE ARCTIC, WHERE THERE ARE PLENTY OF BETTER TASTING POKEMON. LIKE A SEEL!
#1-ARCEUS
I'd imagine eating Arceus would lead to a Third Impact-like scenario. I mean, first off, you'd have to have planned to capture and slaughter Arceus and account for its power. Then you'd have to account that it will end the world then and there. Would it really be worth committing deicide for what may or may not be okay tasty meat? No. Maybe you could eat other legendaries like Lugia or Zekrom, but I'd be smart to leave it alone.
Thanks for reading!