THE RANT STARTS IN THE MIDDLE
So, since it’s the middle of the summer, it’s the perfect time to hit up the amusement parks. The rides are fun, you can hang out with your friends, and it’s an overall great time. Well, unless you’re afraid of heights. Then you’re kind of screwed. I am here with my seventh rant to tell you a story about my last amusement park experience.
The amusement park in question is called ‘Lake Compounce’. It’s an amusement park that’s in Bristol, CT. Now, I’m not dissing this place by any means. It’s the oldest continuously operating park in the country. The rides are fantastic, the food is decent, the drinks are free, and the scenery is absolutely beautiful. Here’s an example of that scenery:
That’s the first thing you see when you enter the park, a statue of a horse from a carousel with thousands of flowers surrounding it. It’s an even better sight in person, believe me.
Lake Compounce also has a giant water park, the biggest in Connecticut. There are dozens of water attractions, and generally, a large portion of my visits to the place are usually at the water park. Part of the water park is the lake, hence the name, Lake Compounce.
They even have an attraction called the ‘Sky Ride’ which is a chairlift that takes you all the way up a mountain and then brings you back down. It’s a great way to spend a half an hour chilling out. You can also see many cities and probably even states all around you.
It brings you up 729 feet in the air, what a view!
Now, enough of me praising this place. You didn’t click this expecting a happy go lucky story about Peter’s wonderful vacation, you wanted a rant. Unless, of course, you were expecting a happy go lucky story about my vacation. Well, sorry.
One problem I had going to Lake Compounce (and it seems to be a recurring thing) is that the people that go there are more often than not really, really stupid. Now, this isn’t exclusive to Lake Compounce, you’re going to find stupid people everywhere. But, some of the people at Lake Compounce are a special kind of stupid, one that’s unique to the middle of Connecticut.
I was on the Sky Ride with two of my friends, and since it’s a slow ride and you pass everyone, a lot of that time is spent having mini conversations with the other riders, because there isn’t much else to do other than relax and enjoy the view. Because it’s a ski lift, essentially, people are obviously going to be irresponsible with their items and drop things onto the mountain below. You can see shoes, phones, sometimes even stuffed animals.
There was this cart coming up the hill, with these three annoying as fuck kids inside of it. They were observing what was around them and they felt the need to say out loud what it was they were seeing, really loudly. They looked and sounded a bit like Chad Warden, only they weren’t satirical parodies. They were fucking real. Whatever deity is up there, help us all. So, in case these annoying fuck sticks weren’t annoying enough on their own, now everyone else has to listen to them. Keep in mind, the ride is half over; it’s a half hour ride. So, my friends and I are listening to these guys for at least 5 minutes. One of them out of nowhere screams “YOOOOOOO, A DILDO” and it was hysterical because here are these Chad Warden looking motherfuckers screaming about DEEEEEL DOUGHS. The most pathetic thing is that there was no dildo anywhere, they were just trying to be humorous.
But because they’re such annoying pricks, I decide to reply to them. I yell at them “Hey, different people are into different things!” they yell back at me “Hey nigga, you gay?” and I replied “Not as gay as the three men that are fascinated by a dildo!” This caused my friends to laugh, a lot. The Chad Wardens went on to yell homophobic things at me and my friends for no apparent reason, even after we were so far away from them that we couldn’t hear them. Great guys.
I swear, they looked like this. In the middle of the summer. Jumpsuits and everything.
Anyway, the rest of my trip there was fine. I had a splendid time hanging out with my friends, riding the rides and playing the games and whatever else there is to do at an amusement park. I was going to ride the park’s large roller coaster, called ‘Boulder Dash’. This roller coaster is insane, and it’s considered one of the best roller coasters of all time to some. It’s a ride that’s built up on the same mountain that the Sky Ride is, and really takes advantage of the terrain around it.
This video of the ride should show you how insane it is...
Anyway, at the end of the ride, on the brake run, just as we are easing back into the station, this guy a few rows ahead of me starts yelling out something. "HEY GUYS, GUYS, GUUUYYYYYS, FOLLOW MY TWITTER PAGE" Yep, the internet has taken over this poor soul's life to such a degree that he has nothing else to talk about in person other than his motherfucking twitter page. Sometimes I wonder why I should even bother going places, and it's shit like this that's why. Anyway, I wasn't the only one that was annoyed by this complete loser, a few people behind me were yelling at the dude to shut up. It was pretty funny. After the car arrived back at the station to let us out, I saw the twitter dude get up out of the car. I noticed something very interesting about his shirt. When I say "interesting" I mean it was probably the most infuriating thing is that he had his twitter link professionally printed on the back of his shirt.
There's something I must be missing here. Maybe it's the fact that I can't stand twitter and in the 4 years I've had an account there, I've made just a little over 100 posts. I also don't see the point in following someone I watch from youtube, or in this case, a total stranger because I don't give a shit about them. I've told people this before and people have called me self centered, but am I really in the wrong here? Oh yeah, how dare I not give a shit about some kid from Connecticut, who I didn't previously know, currently don't know and will never, ever get to know in my life. Fuck off.
Other than that, like I said before, Lake Compounce is a great place, and if you get the chance, I'd recommend that you go there. The goods absolutely outweigh the bad.
End rant.