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Blue Cosmo's Bit on the Side - Awesome Adventures and Accuracy with Arrows (Or Miniature Ones, At Least)

So yah, things are going pretty smooth since my last blog post. Me and my mom are good again, I've since had some holidays (which I loved) and I finally found a hobby which I could keep up in the long term. Which is big for me, I never thought I'd do that. Anyway, let's start from the start - and that would be my aforementioned holiday.

I've just gone back to college this week, having had 2 weeks off. Didn't do an awful lot the first week but oh boy did we go out the second. We've got a new tent you see (new to us at least) which means one thing - camping. Now we've not been camping in ages, due to a hellish experience the last time we did (which was years ago, basically everyone but me got ill), but this trip was OK. Well I say "this trip" but I really mean "both trips" as we stayed somewhere in Lancashire for one night, then went home for one and went to Yorkshire the next. Both ones were great, I liked them equally.

As for what we actually did on the trip, well not much since we only stayed overnight both times. The first trip was fun though, the day we arrived we looked round the town of Lancaster (which, on a completely unrelated note, I've had a RP character come from). It was actually really nice, even though we didn't see much of it. I'd sure like to go back. We got something to eat at a Wetherspoon's (a chain of pubs, I later found out), at which I had arguably the nicest veggie burrito I've ever had. Seriously, I don't even care about the fact it was 1000 (!!) calories, it was that nice.

The day we went home we had a nice look around Blackpool too, which is a seaside town for those not in the know. Funny enough, I'm from a seaside town - but on the east side of England rather than the west, so it all seemed familiar to me (especially the chips), except Blackpool was a hell of a lot bigger and a hell of a lot nicer. Again we didn't do much but we got some chips and we had a ride on the tram (fun fact: Blackpool has the only first-generation electric tramway in England). We didn't get to go to any of the attractions though, which is a shame. Maybe in the summer we can go again.

Anyway, holidays done, we came home and then school happened so yah. Moving on to hobbies, I guess, since that's the next point on my list.

Recently (well I say recently, I've only recently decided that I definitely want to pursue this) I've decided that I really like throwing metal pointy things at a target on the wall the age-old sport of darts. I'm not entirely sure how I became interested but I think I watched some on the telly once and thought "Hey, I could do that". And then my parents got me a board as a late Christmas present. And that's how it started.

So yeah, I've been playing for 4 months now and I think I'm getting better. In the space of 2 days of getting my most recent set of arrows, I've already hit a maximum score (which, if you didn't know, is ONE HUNDRED AND EIIIIIIIGHTY-whoops, sorry, just felt obliged to over-exaggerate it like they always do on the TV), and I'm getting more consistent with my throwing too. I really do think that, if I get good enough, this is something I could look into doing professionally. There's loads of tournaments in pubs and other places in England, and the scope for younger players (like me, I'm 18) in the game is rapidly increasing. So if I keep at it and get good enough, I might have a chance at getting good.

I suppose that's all there is to it really. Not much else major has happened, but my exams start in 4 weeks so I guess there's that. Then come the big-ass summer holidays, which we'll be going out a lot in I suspect. But... yeah that's all for now, folks. s2 out.

In Other Words - You Still Seriously Can Get Viruses in 2015?

I think we all remember that back in the old days of Windows 98 and XP we lived with the inevitability that one day during our computer’s lifetime, it was going to get a virus. A nasty, gut wrenching virus that downloaded copious amounts of illegal pornography and then sent an image of your drive to the FBI to come arrest your depraved ass.

It was some scary shit, too. Like the story of a 21 year old man who got a virus that posed as a fake message from the FBI that he was under arrest for possessing child pornography, and to proceed to the nearest police station. He did so, and was arrested because he did in fact upon having his electronics searched have this illegal material.

This story is as recent as 2013, which boggles my mind because I had assumed that almost all malware these days was a thing of the past and phishing was the hip new thing to do to fuck with people online. Apparently, though, people still get viruses.

Who gets viruses? Where do you get them? How do you prevent them?

To quote Master Shake, “I always double-wrap my rascal.” Viruses can always be avoided with careful preventative measures. The people who do get viruses I’m willing to assume install McAfee and call it a day.

It ain’t that simple, bro. Never is. Your first line of defense isn’t your anti-virus software, it’s your common sense.

I don’t feel like I need to preach on about how stupid it is to download files if you don’t trust the source, or to visit web sites that plaster “FREE FREE FREE” all over just to make sure that four letter word is visible in your search results. No, your enemy when it comes to a good bit of your modern day viruses is Javascript and Flash.

I’ve mentioned before on the forum that I hate web sites that overuse Javascript. I typically would say that liberal use of Javascript to power your website is the clear marking of a fresh-out-of-college web designer who has no idea about creating a functional or intuitive web site but want to put to use everything they learned at once. They probably have never been on a 1.5mbps connection out in the country to realize how long it takes to run their overburdened sites.

Let me tell you a personal story about the first, and worst, virus I ever received. I was a regular visitor of a website called Mangafox. I didn’t really know a lot about computers, then, and it promised me the ability to read thousands of different manga all online for absolutely free. So I used it for a few weeks and was eventually hit with a ransomware fake security suite claiming it had found thousands of viruses on my computer and it would remove them for an amount of money.
A system restore later, I did some poking around and googling, and it turned out Mangafox apparently had some shit advertisers which is where I had got the virus from as this affected other people who used the site too. First off, I was an idiot then for thinking I was going to get something for nothing. Secondly, I was even more of an idiot for not ad-blocking the fuck out of everywhere I go. Shady advertisers and lazy admins who don’t screen their ad suppliers are what made me definitively decide that I’m not giving ad-revenue to anybody anywhere and if I do it has to be with a place where I trust the ad's source and the host.
My story is probably what encapsulates a lot of people. We’re not bad people, we’re just ignorant in some ways like how to prevent our viruses even though we have anti-virus software running. What happened to me was a zero-day thing, something that was out In the wild and so new that McAfee had no definitions for it. I had some definitions for it, I assure you, and they were quite colorful.

Flash forward from 2010 to 2015 and how do I “double wrap?” Let’s start with the easy stuff. First off, don’t install McAfee anything. It’s dog shit. Get Avast or AVG—whatever, just something. If you’re using Windows 8, even cooler. You already have Windows Defender installed, and it’s a damn fine piece of software. Don’t listen to the naysayers that it doesn’t catch zero-day exploits, because where that really matters in prevention is your browsing habits. I would definitely recommend looking into ad blockers if you don't already have one, and on top of that a Javascript whitelist/blacklist add-on like NoScript for Firefox or ScriptSafe for Chrome. Those are, I think, the best ways to protect yourself online from viruses and malware out in the wild your anti-virus wouldn't recognize.

Tim, Tom and Jimbob - Tim, Tom and Jimbob in "Degrading Outdoors" (2014)

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The Weekly Furnessly - Yet Another Struggle

Hello. I haven't written an entry in a while, it is struggling to think of something to talk about so just mention what I am feeling right now.

I feel absolutely fed up and have been for quite a while. Really sorry but have to let it out and that the wording is all over the place.

I feel like I can't trust anyone. There are perhaps some fantastic helpful, friendly and kind people around here but due to bad experiences both in real life and on here, I can't trust anyone since it is more than just appearances but also their personality that is much harder to read (some people do have false personalities until you really get to know them for what they are). A previous event here really soured my judgement making harder to even trust staff. It is also a sad feeling that I don't have any friends at all, tried my best to forget about it but it does pop up from time to time. Most of the time I have accepted that I won't be able to have one friend and a silm chance if I do get one. Anything further (e.g. girlfriend, wife, family) is completely out of the question.

I have tried since a few years ago to have a fresh start on a different forum (closed early this year) and didn't get a friend even though I did get close with a few people via PM.

Also much to most of the time I feel like I have nothing to say. It is really annoying and admittedly has been my problem for years, literally years to the point where half the time even to my parents I just say that I have nothing much to say. Most of the topics can be summed up in an altered quote:

"I'd like to start with some simple word associations. Just tell me the first word that pops into your head."

Football [referring to soccer] -> Corruption
TV -> Depressing
Music -> Autotune
Weather -> Miserable
Politics -> Corruption
Movies -> Mixed
Alcohol -> Poisonous
Drugs -> No
Skyfall -> Done

How can I talk about things that I don't like? I can't lie and I know it makes the other person annoyed or worse since most people seems to like those things. I even go as far as saying that I'm sorry for annoying any member on this forum.

I don't have a sense of humour at all. How can I create a sense of humour if nothing makes me laugh? The last time I ever laughed was one post elsewhere two years ago and can't remember before then... I do acknowledge SeductiveBaz's and Ted's posts since I know that they are designed to be funny [it is a compliment] but the other members who are known for their humour? Just can't recognise it.

Thinking about needing some help for a long time but sadly it is beyond the reach. For years tried to go to centres but either the government closed them down before I even had a chance of getting some help or for one didn't really help at all (it was claimed to be one that can but it was in a disused bank, got depressed there and were more obsessed about their own bank accounts than helping people, took a couple of months to realise this [it was every week] and pulled out). Threapy is really expensive and can work out the same price as going to University for a year, no joke. Our family doesn't have that kind of money even when saving up like crazy. Even with the threapy it wouldn't work due to my disablity [even says that the threapy is not suitable for people with learning difficulties on a government website]. I do have a disability that affects mental and a bit physical but wouldn't talk about it online.

Anti-depressants aren't the answer either. My mum takes those every day and her mood is well unstable. Sometimes she is depressed, other times funny as in mixed up, sometimes critical like today when a large dog [half the size of a human] was right next to me couldn't move forward or backwards, was right on my leg [the full leg] and she shouted in public to make me feel bad [I have a strong fear of dogs], other times actually okay. My old brother also takes anti-depressants and again unstable mood meaning that they are not working, he also apparently takes very strong sleeping tablets but I don't know since he and his family are miles away from us.

I wanted to have something to do that isn't playing games but I know that I can't do anything talented. Remember this post? I really want to do something like a small project with a few people. It would be a lovely thing because not only will it be a good thing if handled correctly but also quite happy too. Well as happy as I can get anyway. It is annoying when you can't draw, write, make music or any of those things even when I practiced to the point where I gave up. My best drawing looks like one of those dodgy DeviantArt drawings, failed English at school despite trying my best and music back in school I got the lowest grade possible, a U due to being tone deaf. U is lower than a F. For years I had a dream, an idea of something to be remembered. I don't have any large ambitions, hence even when I was younger didn't have an big dreams just small ones. There are a couple of medium sized ones though.

I just feel useless and boring to be honest.

Shadzify's Somewhat Interesting Thought Dump - Off the bandwagon

This is just something that's been bugging me for a while, ever since I started . So just bear with me.

For those of you who have followed my channel recently, you may have noticed that a majority of the more recent content on there has been nothing but YTP Tennis rounds. Don't get me wrong; I absolutely love Tennising. It's hella fun, and I've met with and played with some really great Poopers, both on and off YouChew. I absolutely love it.

Thing is, though...'s been quite a while since I made an ACTUAL YouTube Poop; like, a Poop that isn't a Tennis round. Hell, I recall the last actual one I made was the YTP I made for ravinrabbid123 for the YouChew Secret Santa a few months back. Beyond that, nothing but Tennising and the occasional collab entry.

I'm not saying I'm unhappy with being a mostly Tennis-based Pooper. Again, I love Tennising since I get to play with all sorts of fun people. It's just that, I wish I could get back to making actual Poops. The big thing that's keeping me back, as the title would suggest, is both a lack of ideas and not wanting to jump on a bandwagon, so to speak. Let me explain.

I've had (almost) no problem using whatever source is provided to me; if I can use it, I'll make it work somehow. This one here is still one of my favorites, and a prime example of that:


But beyond that, I've always felt that I can't really make Poops out of the big sources like Michael Rosen, SpongeBob, CD-I stuff, etc. etc., because then I'd be labeled as jumping onto a bandwagon or summat. Now I'm not saying I wouldn't EVER make YTPs out of those sources. I've wanted to. I've had thoughts of making more Poops with Rosen or all that kind of stuff. It's just the aforementioned feeling of mine has kind of held me back. It's also a primary reason why the Equestria Girls YTP I had started ages ago hasn't even gotten off the cutting room floor.

Iunno. Maybe it's just me being self-conscious, as I usually am. Maybe I should really just give those kinds of sources a shot and see how they stick instead of hanging on the sidelines feeling I can't use 'em. I'm just uncertain about it, is the best way I can put it. Once more, I've no issue being a Tennis-based Pooper. Just that I want to flesh out a little bit more.

Have a good evening, my friends.
Shadzify~

The Void - Famiclone Frequenters #1: Make Trax

Let's talk about Famiclones. Yeah, those pieces of Chinese plastic junk that you get at the local flea market or drug store, the ones with names like "Power Joy Playing Kid 59" or "Play and Shoot Action Boy 5489 in 1". They're called Famiclones for an obvious reason, the fact that they are just hardware clones of the Famicom or NES shoved into a different plastic shell. Due to that, they often have many games from both systems, including international releases, Japan-only games, and even games the developers made themselves. Usually these are big names like Contra, Super Mario Bros, Duck Hunt, Pac-Man and others, but there's a strangely wide selection of certain games most nobody has heard of. Some of these seem to have perfect attendance on nearly every Famiclone system and bootleg multicarts, despite being very miniscule names in the world of gaming. In this series, we'll take a look at a few of the more interesting games that tend to pop up on bootleg systems and carts, starting with....

Make Trax/Crush Roller

By Alpha Denshi, 1981


Alpha Denshi is a Japanese company best known for their Neo-Geo games such as World Heroes and Magician Lord, but like almost all video game companies, they had several titles before their big hits. One of these was the slightly bizarre maze game Crush Roller.

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Somehow the thing I think the weirdest thing going on here is that you're a red paintbrush leaving green paint trails.

In the game Crush Roller, you play as a paintbrush whose goal is to cover an entire area with paint. However, you aren't unopposed in your conquest for mass vandalism. Throughout the game, you are constantly pursued by two fish who really want you dead, and you also have to deal with various characters that will leave tracks in your paint trails, forcing you to cover them up again. Thankfully, you have a good method of defense up your sleeve: the paint rollers. Situated in various sections of the playfield are little blue masses of pixels that vaguely resemble a comb. These are supposed to be paint rollers. When you move over them, your brush moves a lot faster, and can crush any fish in your way. As for the creatures wandering the maze and ruining your trails, you simply touch them yourself to get rid of them. Both enemies frequently respawn, however, so you'll want to hurry up and finish the maze so you won't have to continually deal with them.

Crush Roller was licensed by Williams Electronics for arcade distribution in the US, under the name Make Trax (which we will use as the name from here on out, because shut up.), and it was also licensed by Exidy for European distribution. I'm not sure it was a very big success in the arcades, but it's a fun little game that's worth a play or two should you find it in a retro arcade.

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Source: kcfreeloader @ Photobucket

I'm too impressed by the sweet colors on that cab to make a snarky comment.

With Make Trax being a rather unknown game, it's a bit weird that a company would think about trying to make money off of it. It was probably unknown enough in the early 80's, let alone 10 years from then. But we're talking about bootleggers here. These people aren't exactly well known for their marketing decisions. Because of this, Make Trax has seen a strange revival of sorts as a small staple of various multicarts and Famiclone systems, under the name Brush Roller.

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Source: BootlegWiki

And here I was thinking the game was weird enough in its original form...


This version of the game is mostly the same, aside from scoring differences, some sprite and color changes, added music, a timer and the fact that it gives you 9 lives instead of 3. I can't tell if that's the devs alluding to the fact that the game has multiple cats in it, or if they just think everyone sucks at the game. It's also worth noting that the music is ripped from the unlicensed Columns clone Magic Jewelry. (I may cover that one later.) The interesting parts end here, because it's really just the same game. This port was also slightly modified and renamed to Bookyman for its appearance on Caltron's 6 in 1 cart. The graphics, name and new title screen are really the only distinct features, so there's not much to talk about with this version, aside from how weird the name is.

With that, things are about wrapped up here. While Make Trax was on a few systems and carts, it isn't as ubiquitous as other games, so it has less bizarre variations and hacks to speak of. Overall, it's just a quirky little maze game that's almost better remembered for its bootleg usage than its arcade performance, joining the ranks of many. This is pretty much all I can stand to write about this game.

Until next time, and thanks for reading!

The most pointless blog in existence - bagel

It was a dark and stormy night. Suddenly, a shot rang out. The nurse gathered more plasma for the patient. This was a life or death situation. The nurse helps the patient, or the patient dies. The nurse grabbed more plasma but it did nothing. The window burst open. Rain and cold flew in and drastically dropped the patient's temperature. The patient was about to die. Meanwhile, 180 miles away, some guy put a bagel in the toaster. Back in the hospital, the patient loved bagels. As soon as she heard that toaster pop, she would run for the bagel. The bagel toasted. In a split second, the patient awoke from her coma and ran 180 miles to get the bagel. The nurse had succeeded.

Gray Snow Development Blog - Episode 3 - Progress, Struggle, and Opportunity

Episode 3 - Progress, Struggle, and Opportunity


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So there's good news, bad news, and also good news.

Good news is, progress is being made! Admittedly, I've been slacking off a bit lately, but I'm just about done reaching the progress that I've made in the Unity build over to Unreal, which means I can start working on new stuff that isn't just the same three locations I've been showing you seven thousand times.

But anyway, here's what the project's looking like in Unity (left) vs. Unreal (right) (probably going to change since I need to screw with lighting):

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As you can tell, perhaps the biggest problem with Unreal's visuals is that it's really, really shiny. It pretty much screams "WOAAAH NEXT GEN VIDEO GAMING" I'll need to look into how to mute everything a bit more, make it look more sophisticated.

Alright, time for the bad news. See all those 3D models in the screenshot above? Yeah, I'm gonna have to remake them. Turns out, the 3D models that I have (which are from archive3d.net and not made by me) are super high-poly. Like, absurdly high poly. That cabinet at the end of the hallway there? 115k polys. Combined with everything else in the scene, everything slows to a crawl. Because of that, I'll have to take the role of redoing nearly every model in the scene, and that's going to be a pain in the ass.

But hey, let's close off this oddly short post with something uplifting. I've got a website up! You can view it here!!!!

I made the site from scratch, but it's not terribly advanced so that's not a big deal. Still, I like the visual design of it, especially how the TV in the background effectively frames the snippet I wrote about the game, centering visual attention to it. I'll be updating it with new info, but in the meantime, give me your feedback about it! I'm shite at CSS so there's probably some broken elements floating around there that I can't see.

Anyway, this has been a pretty short post, but I'll have some more interesting news here soon. There's a few tricks up my sleeves I'd like to show off, but I can't just yet since it's not time yet. Get hyped or something.

tabull's Blog - NewChew Preview - Awards

My last entry dealt with what the slateR theme will look like when we update YouChew to the next version of IP.Board. I thought the next thing I wanted to show everyone the new award system. The award system that we current use is no longer being supported, but it's a pretty important application we use. So, instead of removing it when we move to IPS Community Suite 4.0, I rewrote it myself. I decided to write myself because it was a good chance for me to get used to the new framework as the concept is pretty simple. I did my best to replicate our current system, but there a few small differences. I want to keep this entry short so here are a few images. Also, I am using developer mode, which helps with debugging but also means it use the default theme with the default values (such as rounded avatars, we will be using rectangular ones).

Awards will still display under every signature. Hovering over an award will show the note you got for it.
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Still got the award page showing how to get every award
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Clicking on the trophy icon will show who got that award
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Awards you go will still show on your profile
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A new feature. You will now get a notification when you get an award, including email if you choose
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And now for something you probably won't see, but for those that can give awards, the screen looks more or less the same.
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The Admin Control Panel is pretty straight forward
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Clicking on the pencil icon allows you to edit the award
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Still have a few things to add, but this should be good enough for when we upgrade the entire site. The next thing I need to update is our shop. Unfortunately that's not being supported anymore from what I can tell, so I'll need to recreate it myself. But maybe that's a good thing

Absolute Blogosphere - Zelda: The Light of Courage - A Brief Overview and Email Correspondance with the Creators

When it comes to television or film adaptations of its franchises, fanmade or legitimate, Nintendo's track record is a far cry from sterling. The Legend of Zelda series is no exception to this rule. The only thing worth remembering of the 1989 cartoon is a silly, recurring one-liner. The live-action Hero of Time fan film, arguably okay at best but better to riff on with friends, was pulled by Nintendo and forced to halt distribution just weeks after its release. More recently, Satoru Iwata shot down rumors of Netflix being in the early stages of collaboration with Nintendo to produce a live-action series adaptation, for better or worse. There is perhaps one beacon of hope left that we can turn to; not for its excellent craftsmanship and certainly not for its adherence to the source material, but for its complete absurdity. The lovechild of an talentless but ambitious writer, and a small team of pranksters willing to go the extra mile to make his deluded idea a "reality", The Legend of Zelda: The Light of Courage might be the only adaptation of the videogame series you'll ever truly need.



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Looks like we're in trouble, Princess!


For those unaware, The Legend of Zelda: The Light of Courage was a series of animations based off the scripts of Joe_Cracker, an IGN forum user desperate to get his work off the ground somehow, despite his lack of industry knowledge and even more appalling lack of writing skill. He was approached by several other users - SexualBurgerKing, Cellius, and Orquiox - under the guise of John Grusd, the man who directed the Legend of Zelda cartoon series, who then took several scenes from his script and proceeded to bastardize them with intentionally-shoddy 3D animation. The scenes copied the script almost verbatim, typos and all; and the animation repeatedly mocked Eian, the comic relief and Joe_Cracker's obvious self-insert character.

The following unedited correspondence occurred in December 2007, when I was curious to learn more of the backstory; and was posted to a now-archived Light of Courage thread in August 2008, but is being reposted here to conveniently archive the exchange alongside the necessary context for anyone unfamiliar with The Light of Courage. If you have not watched the animations yet, they are available through the links below and it is highly recommended you do so before continuing. You're also missing out big-time otherwise.

Watch (Part 1) (Part 2) (Part 3)

My Fanmail

Hey, I saw your Light of Courage videos on Youtube, and those were the funniest things I've seen in a while!

I have some questions to ask of you.

From what I understand, some kid kept posting a stupid script, because he wanted to be the writer for the next supposed LoZ animated movie, and then you guys created the animation based off those scripts.
  • Could you tell me more, a link to the forum thread would be nice?
  • You realize you've probably set a world record for putting the most effort into a prank, right? Two years?
  • Does this Joe Cracker still believe that you're actually John Grusd, or does he know the truth?
  • Is there seriously a part 4 coming out? If there is, how much is done?
That's all, keep up the good work.



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The Response

Greetings!
Thank you for your email. It's been a few years since we made these animations, but such emails still trickle in occasionally. Here is a very long email summarizing the history of The Light of Courage.

In a nutshell, what happened is that we discovered Joe_Cracker advertising his Zelda script on a forum, and we were amazed at how tenacious he was in believing he truly would be getting his script produced. The appalling lack of talent he displayed with this home-made trailers and his own English language rules endlessly amused us. His determination seriously was admirable; if only he had the talent and means behind it he probably would have done pretty well in a film career.

We being curious to read this famed script, we decided to pose as a defunct Hollywood producer (John Grusd) and told him we could produce his script and jumpstart DIC Entertainment. He sent us the script (50 pages of rambling incoherent garbage) and for fun we extracted a few scenes to make into "test" animations to demonstrate to Cracker that Grusd was indeed making progress. We let Cracker record a character's lines for each. We intentionally made the first two so terrible that anyone would realize it was a joke. Cracker didn't realize it. He thought we really were legit. Anyone with a brain would understand that those animations are NOT serious.

During this period we discovered Cracker was in his mid-20s and had serious mental problems (severe OCD, autism, aspergers, stereotypies, etc). Essentially he is a complete delusional shut-in who believes he is a talented "underground" filmmaker with unlimited internet fans. This makes him unbearably arrogant. He is thoroughly convinced of his immense talent and he will never grasp reality. It is extraordinarily frustrating to deal with him.

Anyway, we broke the news to Cracker that we played a joke on him and he more or less accepted it. The only lingering animosity he has is that he blames us completely for the failure of his "film company." We stopped communicating with him. So after a long period of nothing we saw how much the first two animations spread around the internet with various reactions (from bafflement to hatred). We decided then that since we had so much fun with the first two we thought we'd get together one last time and make a third animation, which occupied roughly 8 months of time. As usual we copied the dialogue verbatim (which is pretty much all the entire script consists of) and we crafted the 6-7 minute animation. As I'm sure you've noticed, we had the most fun with #3.

As far as putting a huge amount of effort into these animations, we all have pretty extensive educations in each of our respective fields so as they went on, they were made less to trick Joe Cracker and more for the actual experience of collaboration and artistic creation. Pretty valuable experience, believe it or not. These things are great demo reel material!

So a few years later we decided for the complete fun of it to create a TLOC4. We do work on it from time to time. We've picked a scene, recorded the lines and gotten a portion of storyboards completed. We're not real sure when we'll finish it; we don't have a set deadline. We work on it whenever we're available and feel like making progress. We don't want to rely on old gimmicks from the other animations; it's always important to keep your humor evolving, but still in the spirit of The Light of Courage. It will certainly be ridiculous. Our site, DancingTriforce.com, gets updated once in a while with minor progress reports, whether or not it's even trafficked anymore.

Anyway, that's pretty much it. Hopefully this lengthy email satisfies your curiosity. Keep your eyes open for #4! It will definitely make its way around the internet once it's done, I'm sure.

-GRUSD


---

As mentioned, the exchange occurred in 2007, and some of the information in the response is outdated. Their website, DancingTriforce.com, no longer exists; and there has been no word on the anticipated fourth installment in over 7 years. One can only hope it achieves fruition sooner or later, and I will certainly await that day. The fact that a higher-quality version of the third installment was released on their channel fairly recently provides some hope.



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References & Additional MaterialAdditional Links

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peter talks sometimes - Rant 12

I'm confused about a certain something. Something involving the internet as a whole (amazingly, it isn't music this time!)

If you go to any website with a large, active community, there's always a big chunk of said community that absolutely can not stand the site they're a part of. From this, we get a general feeling of tension and bad vibes from these people. A lot of the time, they'll just act like piss-babies but not say anything directly. This is stupid in and of itself, but if they aren't being directly hostile, then whatever. It's kind of stupid that they'd stay on the site.

What really gets my goat is when these people actively go out of their way to tell people "THIS SITE IS ABHORRENT AND NOT UP TO MY STANDARD OF SUPREME INTERNET BROWSING" or, if they aren't trying to sound much, much smarter than they actually are, "THIS SITE SUCKS AND I DON'T LIKE THE WAY IT'S RUN". Additionally, "THIS THING HAPPENS ON THIS SITE SO THIS SITE IS SHIT 4 EVA" like why are you even here if you hate it so much?

For example... (this one's close to home)
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"Everytime I try to poke my head back in there's always some bullcrap like this happening that makes me like the site a little less"
Aight, good for you. What's compelling you to come back in the first place if you know that the site upsets you?
All this talk about getting yourself banned just to stop yourself from coming back is really fucking stupid and just a bit sad. This doesn't just go for this specific example, it goes for any person who feels the need to get themselves banned just so they have a reason not to come back to a community. I don't know about you, guys, but I see plenty of people that fucked off long before I signed up that are able to stay away. Now, there is something to be said about whether they left because either they didn't like it here or simply forgot about it, but in that case, focus on people that have made goodbye threads and actually stuck to their word. Somehow they can do it...

The worst part is when people get themselves banned and can't stay away from the place. That's a whole new kind of sad.

Another example? Why not.
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Now this one's a doozy. Yeah, it's from tumblr. Never mind the quite frankly disgusting things this waste of human resources is saying about trans individuals, focus on the second paragraph.
"And here is Tumblr, poisoning all your minds..." as you stay on Tumblr... to what? Fight the supreme oppression you're facing? Well, snide comments about whether certain people are actually oppressed or not, let's look at it this way. I see a lot of posts, some from people I'm friends with (which really is too bad) and they're a lot of the time incredibly angry at what a horrible, terrible, super duper bad site Tumblr is.


It's both funny and sad, the things that inspire these kinds of posts from people. Usually it's because of some kind of EVIL ESS JAY DUBBA YOU, or an update on the site's interface that's more often than not convoluted, confusing, and just overall useless. Now, the latter I can understand being upset about. That's something that can legitimately make someone not want to use the site, but most of the time you get used to it. The former, though, I don't know. Whenever some whiny bitch goes "Look at this demographic of people, they're saying something I don't like! They're generalizing! Fuck this site! aaaaa!" It doesn't sit very well with me. Most of the time they complain about generalizations towards some demographic they fall under, while generalizing an entire site as whoever made you angry in the first place. It is a bit counter productive if you ask me.

As most of you are aware, Tumblr is a pretty liberal site, I think. If anything, there are more safe spots for people in the LGBT spectrum, people with mental illnesses, and whatnot. What I don't get is the people who go over to posts or spaces where they find people in these safe spaces and go out of their way to fuck with people. For example, reposting someone venting under a -read more- cut or making fun of someone who can't type well because they're having an anxiety attack. These are the same people that are all like "my pronouns are go/fuck/yourself, fuck your fake genders, transtrenders, black people are evil, etc" and if you think I'm generalizing here, well, fuck you. Everyone that exploits people having a bad time on that site are 99% the same. The people that go out of their way to make people having a bad time about their sexuality, gender, weight, skin color among other things, the only thing they've shown me is that they're all the same. It's even better when the terms "ANTI-SJ" or "ANTI-FEMINIST" are buzzwords in either their username or bio, because it's like what are you doing here?

Going off that tangent, they're people who will terrorize people like I described earlier and be like "Why are you all ganging up on me? Have I TRIGGERED YOU? Fuck this site!" yet stay on the site... It's literally doing nothing to make these dumb pieces of shit any favors. Especially if they go out of their way to fuck with others and then act like a martyr because OH, NOW PEOPLE ARE RETALIATING! As you could probably guess, the example image I used for this one is one of those anti-everything blogs. It's the same thing as the youchew example above, but only now it's more malicious.

Example tres: Facebook
I see an awful lot of people complaining about either the way facebook is run, their anti hate speech policies, or just everyone around them being "sluts and whores" and such.
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This screenshot is pretty much everything I'm talking about. While this particular one isn't bitching about facebook's administration, picture a million different super edgy facebook pages (user accounts or fanbases) complaining about how they can't use homophobic and racial slurs as their only point of humor without worrying about getting postblocked. Like, imagine being that much of a loser.

Essentially, you're a sad, pathetic loser if you continually talk about how much you hate a certain place yet keep going to said place.

tl;dr - this rant: the video version


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Mullets Rantitorium - Jem And The Holograms The Movie 2015

I apologize in advance, because, as i form what i am going to write here, and, what all i want to say to make my position clear, that: this post will be an inception maze of prefacing before i get to my actual fucking point, which, in of itself, is barely a point at all.
To start, I really don't feel as comfortable posting in this area, but, as it always gets pointed out when someone posts a rant of this nature as a regular thread: this type of rant should be posted in the blogs section. Here where it is somehow more of an official thing. This is not an official thing, i don't want this rant to be an official thing, but, here i am in an official thing section, because, if i posted this as a topic in Film Television and Videos section like i wanted, i might get yelled at.
Also, i am perfectly fine with being open to comments, and, here, it seems like this is a place where, it is somehow more indecorous to offer replies that might offer contradictory opinions to that of the OP author.
I don't mind comments disagreeing at all, except (as mentioned) i get a little frazzled when i am criticized for an arbitrary technicality, such as, posting in a wrong place, or, something rulish like that, where someone doesn't care about the actual topic, yet, found a place where a criticism could be lodged, and, butted in just for that.
I am subbed to a Daily Motion channel called Fan Reviews. The only thing that ever gets posted to this channel is movie trailers. This is only DM channel i sub, because, whether its how DM works, or some setting I'm on, i get an email every time a subbed DM channel uploads a video.
I keep this sub, because, it only uploads new movie trailers, so its like getting a news letter about new movies that always have a trailer linked into them. There might be a more proper or better way to get informed of new movies than this, but, this is what I've fallen into.
On a side note, I am not totally sure if Fan Reviews is sanctioned in some way by the film studios in being legally allowed to post these trailers, but, the channel does have a blue diamond in its header, which, in the world of DM indicates it as a high priority monetized channel. Whether this is above board, or DM pretending to be ignorant to incentivize people to upload content for their site, i do not know, and, don't really care, and, would be a story for another time anyway.
This morning, i got sent the link to this trailer

I know that re-digesting pop culture items from the 80s and 90s is a very common practice nowadays. Whether its things like these types of "reboots", or, people like "professional" YouTubers jumping on every 90s/80s franchise that they can find out about to fill their channels and blog pages with content, re-digesting these kinds of things are a common source of entertainment, and, for many, a business.
Nevertheless, i was surprised to see this in particular adapted into a movie.
For one thing, its 2015. Its 2015! Your going to remake this, but not BTTF!!? IT IS 2015!!!! Remake BTTF, it is 2015 Jem and The stupid ass Holograms movie could have came out any year, and, its the same. 2015 is a key location in the BTTF franchise. Since it is now obvious they are eventually going to grab on to every 80s franchise to exploit, you know they are going to come to BTTF sooner or later. Well its really best to come out with BTTF this year.
Thing is: if there is no BTTF movie in production now, its impossible to have a decent movie ready before the end of the year, so, i am going to drop this and get to what i think will be wrong with this Jem movie.
If you watch the trailer, you can see that they pretty much abandoned everything about Jem and the Holograms, except for the names of characters. Its pretty much another one of those teen singing movies, but, just using the name, i guess in the hopes that middle aged hipsters will bite and drag their tweenaged daughters into this abomination.
"We are remaking Jem and The Holograms, with a few changes. Instead of being transformed by a sentient computer that her dead father made, she will be discovered on You Tube for being a dopey singing emo chick, and, not have a dead father, and, instead of the arch nemesis band The Misfits, there will be no villain band, but, instead she will battle with her own pouting about the pressures of fame."
So, not Jem And The Holograms at all then?
"Well,...uh....we think people are stupid, so, we expect them to buy it."
Why not remake BTTF then? That might make you boatloads of money.
"Oh, we decided to table the BTTF reboot until 2017 or 2018, after its guaranteed that everyone on earth has stopped giving two shits about BTTF."
Oh, of course, that makes sense.
I'm not a fan of Jem, like, at all, but, if your going to commit the kind of money and time it takes to make a Jem movie, why not actually make a Jem movie?
By not staying true to what little that franchise was about, they've upgraded this from probably being a flop turd to a %100 guaranteed flop turd.
I have only seen this trailer, so, there is a slim chance i could be wrong about everything. This movie could be an unexpectedly fantastic movie, and, a brilliant re-imagining of the cartoon series its based on. Probably not, but, anything is possible.
More observations:
Juliette Lewis, still kind of hot, in that flat chested trailer trash kind of hotness that she cashed in on in the 80s/90s, still. Granted, not fully %100 of where she was in the 80s/90s, but, still retaining a great deal of that appeal after all this time. Good for her.
At 1:50 You see a Miley Cyrus cameo. I guess it almost kind of sort of makes sense to include Miley in this movie, since, Hannah Montana was kind of along the same line as Jem in some ways, and, considering this movie is probably way more like Hannah Montana than Jem.
This does mean that ANYTHING from 80s/90s pop culture is on the table now. I know people have joked about this for a long time now, but, now, its not a joke.
Live action Berenstain Bears, either with actors in bear suits, or, just actual bears, absolutely possible.
Any cereal mascot, either in live actions or Pixar style 3D animation, yes. Pandora's box is open now.
-Milli Vanilli bio pic
-My little Pony using celebrity voices over actual ponies
-Game Boy The motion picture. Maybe a bio pic of Gumpei Yokoi following the process of creating and marketing that system, or, like a Wreck It Ralph type thing taking place inside a Game Boy.
-Street Sharks
-Archie Comics (this would actually be right up the alley of a teen quirky hipster rom com)
-Daria (of course, cast with an actress too attractive to convey that one of Daria's big things was being homely looking for her age)
-Kris Kross bio pic (you know, those kids that wore their pants backwards)

Lord Smeargle's Vault - The VHS Surprises, Episode 8: Never Buy Ever Again

Don’t worry, people. The title has nothing to do with Sean Connery’s unofficial bond movie; it more or less has to do with a movie that I’ve technically bought… twice. However, unlike Spinal Tap, both copies are real. And this time, it is an Australian movie in We of the Never Never (1982 film), a film that took place near the beginning of the 20th century, which does play loyal to the novel. However, according to the lead actress in Angela Punch McGregor, ‘Australia has yet to learn how to make a movie’, given that (according to Wikipedia) only half of the movie was filmed from the novel. This really doesn’t help the movie’s situation, does it?

…The VHS Surprises…

Credit goes to FLEMISHDOG for the rather rare logo. The logos shown in question during the mega-corporative logo are in the spoiler below:
Spoiler

Seeing that I’ve mentioned PBV earlier, I’ve decided to talk about one of its sub-divisions: Australian Video. The said company debuted the same year PBV came out in 1983, and it focused on distributing films from the South Australian Film Corporation, hence the small text on the medallion. Amongst We of the Never Never, the company had focused on Australian movies such as The Man From Snowy River, Storm Boy, My Brilliant Career and Breaker Morant (which all coincidentally appear, not only on the previews on the VHS of the movie today, but also amongst my expanding library). The company’s last year remains a mystery; iMDB states that the company ended in 1988, whilst Closing Logo Group claims that the logo ceased in 1985, despite the fact CEL would use the mentioned logo for one or two years. A thing that is certain is that CEL picked the division up for a few years before it ended altogether, so it did end in the 80’s.

Despite being the same movie, unlike the two rental movies in the previous episode, almost everything seems to be different. The first (which I’ve found at The Opportunity Shop as early as 2014), was packaged in a clamshell, which is evidently broken and the slick, faded. The clamshell came with a ‘VHS High Quality’ seal (which was poorly removed), amongst other stickers, such as one from ‘Rabbit Video’, and one that says ‘$1 Weekly’. The second (bought at St. Vincent’s Shop in Brookvale), is packaged in a black big box VHS cover, with the slick in surprisingly mint condition.

The videotapes also carry the same story; both black and carrying a tape brown spine, the top and front stickers intact (albeit the Op-Shop one’s top sticker popped off sometime after a few watches), the (rather ironic) ‘Made in Japan’ engraving, and even the side sticker. Even so, the first one carries two extra stickers; the first with red text being “Please Rewind Tape”, which is somewhat useful since at the time, there was rarely or even no indication to do so when it cut to black, and the second predicting the date of my birth: The 23rd of August… 1984. Okay, so while it is off by exactly 10 years, it is right the day and month, so two out of three ain’t bad. The date of the VHS being released is also notable for being two weeks and a day off when my parents had first met.


Credit goes to Night of the Trailers. It seems to be very boastful, despite the fact the movie has been nominated for a handful of awards.

Nonetheless, I might as well compare the two on the TV screen. Both of them have something in common; despite being under the ‘PBV’ monarch, it does not feature the PBV warning (despite the fact that this company was carrying it); instead, it opts with the ‘South Australian Film Corporation’ Warning, which is white text on a black background, with no music. Disappointing, I know…

And then the logo appears; formed by six stars (channelling Orion Pictures, perhaps?), and a pewter medallion with the titular text, the Australian flag is crudely drawn with a red outline including the logo, accompanied by a synth theme including a rendition of the last lines of ‘Waltzing Matilda’. I have to admit, the visual looks subpar and cheesy even by its standards, though it is saved by the unusual theme, which sounds great on both Videocassettes!

And the differences proceed to continue from here on in, the first VHS begins with a series of movie previews, with ‘COMING SOON!’ appearing via transition during the first. The first preview is Kitty and the Bagman, a movie centreing on gangsters from the 1920s, before or during the great depression. The second is The Fire in the Stone; a movie that definitely looks like it takes place in South Australia, which has something to do with mining, I guess. The trailer also ends unusually, with an announcer making an appearance at the very end, as the movie poster (I think) appears, which is arguably bizarre to say the least.


Credit goes to plainsvideo for the trailer. I'm not joking; the announcer's voice only appears at the tail end of the trailer.

Things get strange with the third trailer (based on a David Williamson play in Don’s Party) containing coarse language and adult situations. At this point, I found it especially baffling when this movie which was rated G was showing that R-rated trailer. This sort of practice wouldn’t have been allowed in the 2000s, even if the film didn’t deserve to be rated G. After a reminder for more previews to come on a rather unique background with Ken Sparkes as the announcer, this is where the movie begins.

The second VHS begins with the same warning (15 seconds later than its counterpart), has the same opening logo, and it brings us straight into the movie. Well, you gotta give credit where it’s due. Also, the second actually gives the movie some free space; unlike the first (which appears to be the ‘pan-and-scan’ format, the movie is presented in its original condition for the most part, with the exception being in the opening and ending credits, where they are stretched out as if they were back in the cinema.

And then comes the talking point of the movie… the quality. The first VHS (and by now, it’s becoming confusing to both you and me) managed to have fluctuating tracking control; the first is where it lasted virtually throughout the movie, with a slight flicker during the end credits, and then it would get worse from there, as it would gradually weaken watch after watch (which would explain how the top stickers popped off). The second VHS doesn’t even try; it lasts 30-odd minutes before it gives up and constantly flickers, as the audio gradually got worse and worse.

The movie, meanwhile, is disappointing. While I haven’t read the novel, I can say that it is unusually slow-paced for a film that was amongst others, selected for preservation as part of the National Film and Sound Archive of Australia's Kodak / Atlab Cinema Collection Restoration Project. And given that the movie contains two scenes of animal torture that PETA would find offensive would make the given ‘G’ rating arguably unjust at best. It also contains minor subtitles when the Aborigines and even Jennie Gunn say the native language, though they only appear during the second half of the film.


Credit (again) goes to plainsvideo for the trailer. Maybe he might've picked up the same copy I've first picked up...

Finally, then comes the end previews. Whilst the second VHS has none, the Op-Shop VHS has four; The Man from Snowy River (which unusually explains with yellow Star-Wars-esque text instead of an announcer), Storm Boy (with the preview lasting less than 30 seconds), My Brilliant Career (a rather lengthy preview, featuring a then-unknown Sam Neill), and Breaker Morant (a film based on true events surrounding the man of the hour Harry ‘Breaker’ Morant). When the fourth preview finishes, the screen turns to black, but cuts to it rather than finishing the transition. Good thing the first one had the ‘Please Rewind Tape’ Warning sticker on there.

In conclusion… the sole reason I picked up the first VHS was that I wanted to collect a PBV tape long ago, since they are painstakingly rare to find nowadays. The second VHS, on the other hand, well, I thought it would be a back-up in case the first would fail. However, given that it has no previews and is inferior compared to the clamshell counterpart (although it does carry a unharmed slick and a movie with the correct aspect ratio) means that it won’t last very long in my house. This also means that the choice between the two is obvious.

Final Score
VHS Cover: 6/10 (Op-Shop), 8.5/10 (Vinnie’s) – Vinnie’s win this one convincingly, though the first slick definitely has a bigger story to tell.
Videocassette: 9/10 (Op-Shop), 7.5/10 (Vinnie’s) – The Op-Shop version carries an interesting birth prediction, and the ‘Please Rewind Tape’ sticker, unlike the Vinnie’s version
Quality: 7.5/10 (Op-Shop), 3/10 (Vinnie’s) – Even though the Op-Shop version lost a few marks due to its degrading quality, the Vinnie’s version is still the worst of two evils.
Warning: 4/10 (Both) – Unoriginal, uninteresting, and no music to keep you entertained.
Logo: 6.5/10 (Both) – Definitely cheesy even for its time, but carries a nostalgic charm and a good synth tune.
Previews/Other Features: 10/10 (Op-Shop), 0/10 (Vinnie’s) – The Op-Shop VHS carries seven previews. ‘Nuff said.
Final Score: 43/60 (Op-Shop), 29.5/60 (Vinnie’s) – The Vinnie’s VHS is a disappointment, whilst the Op-Shop is a surprise package and an on-par fortune-teller.

SnoopyTheFudge's Blog - YouChew, the Clarence Collab, and Computer Issues

Ok, so clearly in my first blog entry on YouChew, I must explain how I even found out about YouChew. As a YouTube pooper, there isn't many places to get your name out there. I think there is quite a few of us here who can admit to spamming popular poopers comment sections with links to your channel. There is the PoopDeck, AKA youtubepoop.com, which is great if you want to post something somewhere no one will ever see it other than people planning on posting things people will never see. There is also the subreddits, r/ytp and r/youtubepoop, which I used to occasionally post poops on. The best part about those subreddits are when they led me here. I guess it was really just r/youtubepoop. There were these two posts that came out around the same time that mentioned this site called YouChew that I had no clue of. The first one was this one, How YouTube Poop nearly ruined my life. , which is actually a really interesting story which I highly recommend you read. He said:

I raged so hard it would make Phil Fish look like Shigeru Miyamoto. I closed my Twitter, my Youtube, my Google+, My Youchew profile, EVERYTHING was gone. Done. Finished. I couldn't take it anymore.

Then the second post having to do with YouChew really caught my eye, YOUCHEW IS BACK ***ONLINE*** , which was probably the one that actually got me to check it out. To say the least, I thought it was great. I found it odd that this whole time I have been watching and making YouTube Poop I didn't know about this great site. So then I made my account.

After I joined YouChew, I started joining a few collabs and checking them out, and decided to make my own. I love the cartoon Clarence, so I thought since no one else is doing a Clarence centered YouTube Poop collab, then why the hell not? So I started the Collab and it did/is doing pretty good. I am glad that I made the deadline 2 months later then when it started because I had a huge computer problem and I had to factory reset my hard drive (I moved videos and what not over to an external drive) and I lost my copy of Vegas so I didn't edit videos for a month or so. Luckily, I recently found a post on the site that had a fantastic crack for Vegas 13 so I edited my 1 year anniversary video on that and another video that is yet to come out.

Ok so that was my first blog post! Thanks for stopping by!

Mulletism - Tim And Eric Shrek conspiracy theory.

For those few who may not know "Chewnami" is : a Live Stream account officially sanctioned by YouChew that will occasionally be linked at the top of the site when doing streams that are usually marathon plays or items centered around a central theme.
http://youchew.net/forum/index.php?/topic/104607-youchew-livestream/

Yesterdays treat from the chewstream was the Shrek movies. This would make sense since May 18 is an unofficial Shrek holiday being the release date of Shrek, and, Shrek The Third (Shrek May 18 2001, Shrek 2 May 19 2004, Shrek 3 May 18 2007 )

Before the marathon of movies started, they played the well known Tim And Eric Shrek 3 promos.



This Shrek thing went a long way towards sparking interest in Tim and Eric Awesome Show, Great Job!, which was a brand new show at the time.

There was backlash talk at the time, that this was a crass tactic to manipulate (what was then) a highly popular and heavily promoted franchise in concert with jaded youth culture for the means of their own personal gain.
The idea is that they piggy backed on the intense amount of promotion and advertising for Shrek 3; becoming a disturbance within it, therefor using the Shrek momentum to propel themselves forward.
In the end, that was the result achieved, but: was that the goal?

"Tim: “When Shrek the Third came out, for months everyday you’d get bombarded with like ‘the wait is ogre’ garbage shoveled at you […] and I woke up the week before the premiere came out with the idea that Eric and I would just promote Shrek as an experimental joke […] that’s probably my favourite thing of all time, it was just so dumb.”
Eric: “It was all positive comments and 15 promos, there are still people out there who hate us because they thought we were supporting this film.”"

It is believable that this wasn't a grand Machiavellian tactic, and, just a purely organic decision to make satire based on what was happening around them at the time, however, if this was a conspiracy to manipulate their fans, it would not behoove them to admit it.

Even if it was an act of pure manipulation, you would still have to admire its success, as well as the comedy and creativity within it itself.
I remember there was a point where they almost got into some sort of trouble with Dream Works, but, barely squeaked by, because, they remained adamant in only saying very positive things about Shrek, so, it would have been bad PR for a large media company to seen picking on people who [seem] to be nothing more than adoring fans of their product.
Part of the problem may have been them saying it was a Disney movie. This is because it is often mistaken for being a Disney movie, as it was during the time of the Shrek movies as well. Admittedly: i did some internet research just now to verify that Disney wasn't involved in some way with the Shrek trilogy.

They also dropped a lot of corporate names and logos in to this. This could be more satire on how branding and promotion intrude into our lives. This also could have been about them striving to get complaints from these companies to build an image as dangerous hipster rebels.

Lord Smeargle's Vault - The VHS Surprises, Episode 9 - They're Here...

Despite the fact videocassettes were commonly placed in the traditional clamshells or big/small boxes, they also came in cardboard covers, something that some VHS holders were actually built to give the cardboard covered tapes a home. Just about every home entertainment company around at the time that was aware of this at least tried it once. In CEL’s case, they were bountiful, and they even gave the cardboard-cased videocassettes a variety.


Credit goes to wickscassidy for the display of the cardboard-cased videocassettes. Part 2 can be found on YouTube.

If the cardboard cased videocassettes featured a well-known star regardless of what division it was branded under (say Bruce Lee, for example), then it would be released under the Starscreen brand. If it was a musical, then it would be marketed as a musical (where MGM would comfortably fill the library). If it was made in the land down under (where Australian Video dominated that market), then it would be labelled an Australian Classic, regardless of what year it was made. And if it involved RKO Pictures (which was somewhat commonplace with CEL), then it would feature the mentioned company’s logo.

However, not every cardboard-covered VHS was packaged like that; some were packaged in a variety of colours, whilst others were more unique. This fortnight, I will cover two videocassettes that fit under this category, Poltergeist being the cab off the rank due to the fact the remake will be coming imminently. And already the cardboard cover has been encased in a translucent VHS cover. Great…


…The VHS Surprises…
This wasn’t uncommon for me to find some of them like this; some that came in cardboard covers (such as Breaker Morant and Storm Boy) occasionally get cut to fit into a translucent or opaque VHS case. But I guess I’ll let it slide for now, since the standards for VHS as of 2015 are really low at St. Vincent’s apparently; I even encountered two videocassettes that would qualify as porn.


Credit goes to MOVIECLIPS for the trailer. Strangely, Dominique Dunne (who passed away in less than half a year following the film's release) has the last lines from the trailer before the narrator.

Anyway, Poltergeist. At least I have an excuse to hype the remake of the film with showcasing the original film. It was packaged under the Starscreen divison from CEL, such as Craig T. Nelson and Beatrice Straight, with the former notably appearing in The Killing Fields and The Incredibles, whilst the latter was also known for winning an Oscar for her 5 minute work in Network. And stickers attack once again for this VHS cover:
  • It has suspense on the corner of the cardboard cover (in pink)
  • A circular ‘weekly’ sticker (in yellow; obviously looks like it took on some years)
  • From ‘Uptown Video, Port Douglas’ (Phone: (070) 99 5568)
Though strangely, it shows two pictures on the back of the cardboard cover, which are at the climatic end of the film (one shows the mother of the family in the mud puddle, whilst the second shows the same woman trying to keep her son from disappearing).

The top and front stickers are kept intact (if you don’t count the coffee stain on the top sticker), and prior to watching this videocassette, it was rented 5 times before it found its way to St. Vincent’s. Kind of reminds of The Man With The Golden Gun rental VHS. This tape also carries a ‘cleaned and serviced by RTI Tapechek’ sticker, a ‘This movie is the property of UPTOWN VIDEO’ sticker, a ‘REEF VIDEO’ (presumably the previous VHS store to own it before UPTOWN VIDEO) and the numbers ‘2296’, so it definitely does have a bit of history in its world.

As I popped in the VHS, after waiting patiently, a Warning appears on a space background, with the blue and black grid in the foreground. Notably at the time, CEL (amongst every other major VHS company in Australia) were in favour of the ‘New Penalties Copyright Amendment Act’ of 1986, and they liked it so much, they’ve made two logos to take care of it, which are considerably better than the first ‘Entertainment Revolution’ logo that looks like it took place in the civil war. Even so, less effort is put into this logo, though they do try at an extent. The music tries, the animation tries, even the announcer tries.


Credit goes to SuperUnknown for the trailer. The trailer makes the sequel look like a generic horror film.

And we then cut to the ‘PREVIEWTIME’ bumper again, which does carry cheese, though has a fun tune. The only movie shown under PREVIEWTIME is the sequel to Poltergeist, which looks considerably bad compared to the first movie. Of course, when this preview finishes, we then cut to the MGM/UA logo, and then the MGM logo at the time, which was about 24-25 years old. Where are your plasterers now, big movie companies?

And the movie, of course, is a memorable one. The movie is creative with the suspense and horror, and the director in Tobe Hooper and producer in Steven Spielberg manage to do remarkably well with the special effects, including in animation and makeup. Most of the actors give a good performance, especially the late Heather O’Rourke with the good line-reading of “They’re here”. And it really keeps you on the edge, even though no one is shown to have died on screen.

Unfortunately, with the quality being known to dwindle, the first run of this VHS ended up caving in at the 75 minute mark, when Tangina Barrons makes an appearance, even though it flickers badly from the start of the movie, when America’s National Anthem is playing. During this time, the ‘Poor Signal’ message showed up on my VCR for some unusual reason, which my mother knew how to make the message disappear by stopping the VHS. Man, I feel like an idiot now…

Getting back on topic, the audio quality gets worse from when Tangine goes on a monologue, and it continues to get worse when Tangina explains what happened to Carol Anne, whilst the VHS began to make buzzing sounds constantly after Tangina continues to speak, until she walks into the door of doom. It also continually strikes during the family’s final encounter of the demon, and continues from there until the tape ends. It’s a good thing I have a DVD copy of it. And the tape closes out with the MGM/UA Home Video logo, with the third Communications and Entertainment Limited logo following it.



Credit goes to Dan Bickner for the MGM/UA HV logo, and AussieRoadshow for the three CEL HV logos. The second (which is the third used in CEL's lifetime) was shown in the copy of Poltergeist that I had.

So to sum it up, I feel disappointed that this tape would be possessed by VHS spirits of its own. On the other hand, while the tape doesn’t have much to offer, it does have a good movie on there. If you manage to find a copy of Poltergeist, then get it now. Just don’t forget to leave the TV and the tape outside of your home during the night just for good measure after you play it.

Final Score
VHS Cover: 5/10. Looks as generic as every other cardboard cover that came out from CEL, and it was placed in a different cover.
Videocassette: 7.5/10. Most of the stickers are intact.
Quality: 1/10 (2nd Watch). Dear Lord, this really has fallen from grace.
Warning: 9/10. Despite the cheesiness, it was a cool and futuristic way to show a warning screen. You have to give that company an A for effort, right there.
Logo: 7.5/10. While the first is cheap and simple yet a placeholder, the second is done decently, and the third definitely wasn't a plaster.
Previews/Other Features: 3/10. Only one preview isn’t enough to convince me otherwise.
Final Score: 33/60. Overall, despite some ghost-like issues, it holds up to this day.

Well, one down, another to go. And I’m afraid the second one is gonna be murder to get through. Which is a shame because it was a great Monty Python movie.

Lord Smeargle's Vault - The VHS Surprises, Episode 9 - It's Here...

Despite the fact videocassettes were commonly placed in the traditional clamshells or big/small boxes, they also came in cardboard covers, something that some VHS holders were actually built to give the cardboard covered tapes a home. Just about every home entertainment company around at the time that was aware of this at least tried it once. In CEL’s case, they were bountiful, and they even gave the cardboard-cased videocassettes a variety.


Credit goes to wickscassidy for the display of the cardboard-cased videocassettes. Part 2 can be found on YouTube.

If the cardboard cased videocassettes featured a well-known star regardless of what division it was branded under (say Bruce Lee, for example), then it would be released under the Starscreen brand. If it was a musical, then it would be marketed as a musical (where MGM would comfortably fill the library). If it was made in the land down under (where Australian Video dominated that market), then it would be labelled an Australian Classic, regardless of what year it was made. And if it involved RKO Pictures (which was somewhat commonplace with CEL), then it would feature the mentioned company’s logo.

However, not every cardboard-covered VHS was packaged like that; some were packaged in a variety of colours, whilst others were more unique. This fortnight, I will cover two videocassettes that fit under this category, Poltergeist being the cab off the rank due to the fact the remake will be coming imminently. And already the cardboard cover has been encased in a translucent VHS cover. Great…


…The VHS Surprises…
This wasn’t uncommon for me to find some of them like this; some that came in cardboard covers (such as Breaker Morant and Storm Boy) occasionally get cut to fit into a translucent or opaque VHS case. But I guess I’ll let it slide for now, since the standards for VHS as of 2015 are really low at St. Vincent’s apparently; I even encountered two videocassettes that would qualify as porn.


Credit goes to MOVIECLIPS for the trailer. Strangely, Dominique Dunne (who passed away in less than half a year following the film's release) has the last lines from the trailer before the narrator.

Anyway, Poltergeist. At least I have an excuse to hype the remake of the film with showcasing the original film. It was packaged under the Starscreen divison from CEL, such as Craig T. Nelson and Beatrice Straight, with the former notably appearing in The Killing Fields and The Incredibles, whilst the latter was also known for winning an Oscar for her 5 minute work in Network. And stickers attack once again for this VHS cover:
  • It has suspense on the corner of the cardboard cover (in pink)
  • A circular ‘weekly’ sticker (in yellow; obviously looks like it took on some years)
  • From ‘Uptown Video, Port Douglas’ (Phone: (070) 99 5568)
Though strangely, it shows two pictures on the back of the cardboard cover, which are at the climatic end of the film (one shows the mother of the family in the mud puddle, whilst the second shows the same woman trying to keep her son from disappearing).

The top and front stickers are kept intact (if you don’t count the coffee stain on the top sticker), and prior to watching this videocassette, it was rented 5 times before it found its way to St. Vincent’s. Kind of reminds of The Man With The Golden Gun rental VHS. This tape also carries a ‘cleaned and serviced by RTI Tapechek’ sticker, a ‘This movie is the property of UPTOWN VIDEO’ sticker, a ‘REEF VIDEO’ (presumably the previous VHS store to own it before UPTOWN VIDEO) and the numbers ‘2296’, so it definitely does have a bit of history in its world.

As I popped in the VHS, after waiting patiently, a Warning appears on a space background, with the blue and black grid in the foreground. Notably at the time, CEL (amongst every other major VHS company in Australia) were in favour of the ‘New Penalties Copyright Amendment Act’ of 1986, and they liked it so much, they’ve made two logos to take care of it, which are considerably better than the first ‘Entertainment Revolution’ logo that looks like it took place in the civil war. Even so, less effort is put into this logo, though they do try at an extent. The music tries, the animation tries, even the announcer tries.


Credit goes to SuperUnknown for the trailer. The trailer makes the sequel look like a generic horror film.

And we then cut to the ‘PREVIEWTIME’ bumper again, which does carry cheese, though has a fun tune. The only movie shown under PREVIEWTIME is the sequel to Poltergeist, which looks considerably bad compared to the first movie. Of course, when this preview finishes, we then cut to the MGM/UA logo, and then the MGM logo at the time, which was about 24-25 years old. Where are your plasterers now, big movie companies?

And the movie, of course, is a memorable one. The movie is creative with the suspense and horror, and the director in Tobe Hooper and producer in Steven Spielberg manage to do remarkably well with the special effects, including in animation and makeup. Most of the actors give a good performance, especially the late Heather O’Rourke with the good line-reading of “They’re here”. And it really keeps you on the edge, even though no one is shown to have died on screen.

Unfortunately, with the quality being known to dwindle, the first run of this VHS ended up caving in at the 75 minute mark, when Tangina Barrons makes an appearance, even though it flickers badly from the start of the movie, when America’s National Anthem is playing. During this time, the ‘Poor Signal’ message showed up on my VCR for some unusual reason, which my mother knew how to make the message disappear by stopping the VHS. Man, I feel like an idiot now…

Getting back on topic, the audio quality gets worse from when Tangine goes on a monologue, and it continues to get worse when Tangina explains what happened to Carol Anne, whilst the VHS began to make buzzing sounds constantly after Tangina continues to speak, until she walks into the door of doom. It also continually strikes during the family’s final encounter of the demon, and continues from there until the tape ends. It’s a good thing I have a DVD copy of it. And the tape closes out with the MGM/UA Home Video logo, with the third Communications and Entertainment Limited logo following it.



Credit goes to Dan Bickner for the MGM/UA HV logo, and AussieRoadshow for the three CEL HV logos. The second (which is the third used in CEL's lifetime) was shown in the copy of Poltergeist that I had.

So to sum it up, I feel disappointed that this tape would be possessed by VHS spirits of its own. On the other hand, while the tape doesn’t have much to offer, it does have a good movie on there. If you manage to find a copy of Poltergeist, then get it now. Just don’t forget to leave the TV and the tape outside of your home during the night just for good measure after you play it.

Final Score
VHS Cover: 5/10. Looks as generic as every other cardboard cover that came out from CEL, and it was placed in a different cover.
Videocassette: 7.5/10. Most of the stickers are intact.
Quality: 1/10 (2nd Watch). Dear Lord, this really has fallen from grace.
Warning: 9/10. Despite the cheesiness, it was a cool and futuristic way to show a warning screen. You have to give that company an A for effort, right there.
Logo: 7.5/10. While the first is cheap and simple yet a placeholder, the second is done decently, and the third definitely wasn't a plaster.
Previews/Other Features: 3/10. Only one preview isn’t enough to convince me otherwise.
Final Score: 33/60. Overall, despite some ghost-like issues, it holds up to this day.

Well, one down, another to go. And I’m afraid the second one is gonna be murder to get through. Which is a shame because it was a great Monty Python movie.

MrThisucks' Top 10 lists - Yuru Yuri is probably the greatest thing that has happened to me-PART 1

As most of you that have read my past blogs, you may know I'm a little bit of a fan of anime. I used to consider Fullmetal Alchemist Brotherhood my favorite, until I saw Neon Genesis Evangelion. But now I found a show which I am barely in the middle of that awakes a joy inside of my soul, one which I did not believe was there before. Every time I watch, tears flow through my eyes as I grin like a drunken idiot. I could be in the cold, remorseless vacuum of space and this show will bring me life. I can be in the depths of hell, receiving my final judgement, and this anime will make it seem like a minor chore. What I'm talking about is Yuru Yuri. Its a slice of life anime about these middle school girls who are lesbians and my oh my is it just so great. I may have only seen a couple SoL anime, and the majority of them made me expect something slow and a little dull, but Yuru Yuri, however, is just a middle finger when it comes to my expectations. "You some little bitch-ass anime MrThisucks? FUCK YOU!"

The first thing I want to talk about is the theme song

If you look at it objectively, it's not that interesting. Just pictures of the characters, some of them walk, hold hands and look up at the sky like every other damn theme song right? And the song is just some Asian babble and shitty midi files right? Yeah. But its the way everything is together. Its just trying to be fun and optimistic and friendship filled. Its humble simplicity is just so captivating to me. Fuck that list I made of theme songs I want this one to reign supreme, or at least number 3. Even the lyrics are too Shakespearean (these are the translations):

Our days are so much fun, we're having a blast!
But it ain't gonna make us any taller, what are we to do?!

We ate too much junk food at the amusement park
So how 'bout a round of Hide and Seek, Maidens

Club activities are priority
So we're never late for it barely
What is this "Occupation/Study" that you speak of?
You can't possibly possibly possibly eat that!

The sakura blooms (the sakura blooms)
The sakura falls (the sakura falls)
Singing for another good day tomorrow (singing)

I love you (I love you)
I want you (I want you)
Wanting to be here again tomorrow (by your side)

All that matters to them is happiness, fun, and each other. I haven't been as lucky as...cartoon girls. I lived a very sheltered life that was filled with restrictions and lament and I think what truly draws me to this anime is that they have a life that I long for: isolated from any responsibilities and any truly devastating heartbreak. They know they have each other, even rivals like Sakurako and Himawari are friends. That's fucking beauty. That's like seeing a rose grow from concrete. That's the sunrise after a volcano. That's a baby being born in the apocalypse. There are so many other small examples of things like this that I find so great, but I need to finish the series first. I hope you appreciate my little spiel. I will be back to talk more about this. Don't worry about me writing about who's the biggest slut in this series, they're all classy ladies.

Mulletism - What am I?

I was a kid then, I was a squid then. Eventually: it was impossible to know where the squid ended and the kid began.
The war had raged for far too long. It should have ended, but, did not. The battle had went on so long, that i could not remember the last time i had seen a surface that was not coated in: colorful, slick, secretions. The secretions of war.
Our ancestors were a loving people. Humans and cephalopods who rebelled against repressive social taboo, and, embraced love. Embraced love with each other. In wading pools filled with water and salt, in rooms with lighted candles and incense, they did what they knew was right, but, for the rest of the world: it was too much too soon.
For the rest of the world it was wrong, indecent, unnatural.
They called us abomination. "Are you a kid now?" "Are a squid now?" "What are you now?!"
Much like mules, squid kids cannot reproduce, so, society is only stuck with our horrific burden for our generation alone. Committing a genocide would put our ink on their hands; creating martyrs. Instead: they would have us destroy each other. Instead: they created the arena.
Like in the gladiatorial arenas of ancient Rome, the arena pits us against each other, giving champions the hope of earning freedom. Deep down inside you know they can never let a squid kid be truly free, but, you fight. The fight is the only hope left, and, you grab onto this hope with everything you have left in your tired slimy fingers.
The Hub is the ghetto they coral our kind into. This is where we eat, where we sleep, and, where we clean ourselves of the secretions of others after battle. Our only true purpose is the battle.
When you enter the spire at the center of The Hub ghetto, you never know who you may be pitted against. I filled with a deep fear at the pit of my soul when i heard her from the other end of the arena. SPLAT! SPLOOSH! SPLATATAT!! "If you want to die: come and get it, you bastards!!" It was Sapphire. Before being imprisoned in Hub, Sapphire was on display at an aquatic attractions park in central Florida, where: she was abused and taunted to insanity. Sapphire is beyond fear, beyond self pity, beyond doubt. Sapphire only has rage left.
"Choke on my viscous ink and die, pathetic fools!" Sapphire's vitriolic war cries continue to echo menacingly off the sheet metal corridors of the Walleye Warehouse.
There is no choice now but to face up to her. Showing cowardice in arena will always lead you to the buffet king, we all know this.
Despite her jaded demeanor, i always felt a special warmth toward Sapphire in my heart. In a world less cruel and twisted: we could go to movies together, we could go bowling together, we could play mini-golf together. We could be together.
I must deny these thoughts. These thoughts of weakness. Either I will destroy Sapphire, finally turning off her uncontrollable resentment toward society in a permanent way, or, she will destroy me, ending my life of confusion, retrospection, and, unrequited feelings.
I suppose in this way: a mercy will be granted here. Someone will be out of their misery.

Diary of a Lost Soul - My short rant on the Horror Movie Genre Today

Reminder: I really don't mean to offend anybody. I'm not putting down other people for their tastes in Movies, Video Games, Etc.
You can like whatever you like. I'm just getting really tired of seeing the same thing over and over again.


Wow. Just... Wow. And I thought that horror movies were going to get better after the Torture Porn Trend (which I really didn't like at all to begin with. Thanks a freaking lot G4tv for annoying me with overtly hyped up Saw/Hostel commercials every time I turn on the TV). Unfortunately, I was so wrong. Very, very wrong actually. Now it's all just,

A. Found Footage Horror that's so cliché now that I will never pay $10.25 to see another Paranormal Activity sequel ever again. (NOTE: Cannibal Holocaust, The Blair Witch Project & Cloverfield were surprisingly good. It was after Cloverfield that the Found Footage genre became stale).

B. Remakes and Sequels of already good Horror Franchise (i.e. Friday The 13th, The Texas Chainsaw Massacre, Halloween, Etc.)

That's it. What the heck happened? The Horror genre is so dead nowadays, that it's being replaced by the Survival Horror genre of video games, and even that's getting stale nowadays. I mean, Five Nights At Freddy's and Slender: The Eight Pages... REALLY??? (Although Slender: The Arrival was Semi-Good. Just not that great).

Okay, I'm done ranting. Sorry about that. Image may be NSFW.
Clik here to view.
:blush:
I wanted to get this off my chest.
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