Hello. I've been trying to struggle on something to talk about since my first entry didn't seem to well be much cop (even though it is my opinion regarding the PS2) so instead I just thought of talking about how I am feeling right now.
Right now, I just feel fed up. Fed up of feeling old like some people don't even know who The Blues Brothers are due to changing times. Also fed up that I don't have a sense of humour. It's like I have to try harder than I did in the past and really hard to the point of feeling forced. Part of me feels like I want to leave the forum again except I know that somehow I just come back until the day when tabull announces its closer. Much of the people that I knew in the olden days either no longer there or changed so much that I feel that I don't know anyone anymore and have been burned a couple of times too. The old Furnessly is gone and to be completely honest, I wasn't really helpful in the first place. I would like to be helpful but my knowledge on things are strictly limited. Speaking of which, I am helping and looking after my parents since they are getting older with both having back problems and my dad's mind isn't want it used to be sometimes to the point where I have to tell him what day and time it is and what he is suppose to be doing.
The advice given on the depression thread is good except a few minor problems that I haven't explained there so I can't follow said advice. One is that I am on the disabled side both mentally and slightly physical and well don't like to mention it in public so that is as far as it goes. In fact when I used the treadmill, my body very often leans towards the right and because handily there is a door on the right hand side I have to hold my hand on the door so my body can shift to the left and back to the centre or how clumsy I am when it comes to walking... So yeah I have poor co-ordination.
Another thing that I want to mention is that about the music misconception. In the past, I have indeed listen to plenty of VGM on the grounds that my hands were aching and listening to the game soundtrack is like imagining the game. Right now? Not as much and even non-VGM music that I have (not much but it is something), don't listen to it as much. I could have spent at least 2 maybe 3 hours a day listening to it while I look on websites, right now it is an hour at the most with some days only about 10/20 minutes or so. When I was younger, I didn't even LIKE music. Besides since I left Youchew in 2012, I have spent more time actually playing the games with the uptake kicked off when I got my Wii U/3DS/Vita and the original Xbox in 2013 so the imagining not as much. I would have mentioned about the original Xbox being the best time to buy it and playing indeed at this moment Everything or Nothing, how good it is and how it has aged well both graphically and controls (except the pre-rendered cutscenes looking worse than the in game graphics) but I just couldn't be bothered. My heart has gone and what is left of me is a shell and a shadow. I also thought that nobody would be interested in it, there isn't even an emulator of the thing.
Now the problem is that it seems a lot of people talk about anime and manga whether it is here, NeoGAF, Sonic Stadium and highly imagine the online foursome of Something Awful, 4Chan, DeviantArt and Tumblr are also really big on it (plus Facebook and Twitter). Last year, I honestly tried to watch some but just couldn't get into it. All pilot episodes except one when I was pointed out that it was a DVD only episode. Tried Space Dandy and apart from one scene of him with his gun just looked a bit poorly animated at some parts but liked the main character sort of, tried Wangan Midnight and wasn't too bad with animation being decent however it wasn't dubbed so it felt drier than it might have been (at least that I have understood the plot to the game thanks to the subtitles in the show) and felt a bit slow, tried Azumanga Daioh aka that show that a fair few people here really like (the first 5 in this case) and didn't really like the characters finding them a bit annoying even though it was half decently animated, Nichijou was okay but again wasn't dubbed and some parts I just thought eh? Then it was Cat Girl Nuku Nuku or something along those lines, now the animation was one of the better ones however I couldn't get into the main character at all and found her really annoying. Finally I tried Cowboy Bebop and it was sooooooooooooooooo close, I liked Spike and his pal, animation was good but a part nearly the end just felt a bit uncomfortable to me and sadly put me off the series. I didn't even get to see Faye Valentine and the others. I thought if these were the pilots, then the animation quality would drop off like a rock when it comes to episode 2... Plus many of these shows except Space Dandy and Cowboy Bebop gave me a Waterloo Road feeling and I don't like Waterloo Road. For the Americans who want to know what it is, it is an English (later Scottish) slice of life high school drama but in live action. At least the hatered of Sailor Moon has dropped and just become a big meh to me.
This alone makes me feel out of place. Especially when people online seem to be talking about Kill la Kill an awful lot at the moment (I know the character designs of Ryuko, Mako and Satsuki but that's about it). Now I don't have many problems of people talking about Japanese cartoons at all, it's just that I don't seem to have much luck.
Not just anime but also shows and stuff aren't the same as here. I am not into American comedies or dramas and neither are my family. e.g. It's Always Sunny in Philly and Parks and Recreation. Even cartoons such as SpongeBob due to that I became a teenager just as that show started and few cartoons that were made more recently don't appeal to me. To make a confession, I don't really watch much TV and my parents watch afternoon gameshows and nighttime dramas. I wouldn't mention them here since only a few members would understand what the shows are about, well maybe except The Chase (due to having an US version) and Luther.
Even when it comes to games, I very very rarely use Steam (only have two games, AudioSurf and Tropico 3 not played either) or the other one (Sims 2, Theme Hospital and ditto) and rather play consoles since they are easier, not as easier than the past but PC gaming can have a lot of problems depending on game.
So yes, I don't know what to do here anymore. Not talented enough to draw, write or make music. Not smart enough for the smart places and too boring to be in the entertaining/humourous places. Doesn't help that a lot of things make me stressed.
Right now, I just feel fed up. Fed up of feeling old like some people don't even know who The Blues Brothers are due to changing times. Also fed up that I don't have a sense of humour. It's like I have to try harder than I did in the past and really hard to the point of feeling forced. Part of me feels like I want to leave the forum again except I know that somehow I just come back until the day when tabull announces its closer. Much of the people that I knew in the olden days either no longer there or changed so much that I feel that I don't know anyone anymore and have been burned a couple of times too. The old Furnessly is gone and to be completely honest, I wasn't really helpful in the first place. I would like to be helpful but my knowledge on things are strictly limited. Speaking of which, I am helping and looking after my parents since they are getting older with both having back problems and my dad's mind isn't want it used to be sometimes to the point where I have to tell him what day and time it is and what he is suppose to be doing.
The advice given on the depression thread is good except a few minor problems that I haven't explained there so I can't follow said advice. One is that I am on the disabled side both mentally and slightly physical and well don't like to mention it in public so that is as far as it goes. In fact when I used the treadmill, my body very often leans towards the right and because handily there is a door on the right hand side I have to hold my hand on the door so my body can shift to the left and back to the centre or how clumsy I am when it comes to walking... So yeah I have poor co-ordination.
Another thing that I want to mention is that about the music misconception. In the past, I have indeed listen to plenty of VGM on the grounds that my hands were aching and listening to the game soundtrack is like imagining the game. Right now? Not as much and even non-VGM music that I have (not much but it is something), don't listen to it as much. I could have spent at least 2 maybe 3 hours a day listening to it while I look on websites, right now it is an hour at the most with some days only about 10/20 minutes or so. When I was younger, I didn't even LIKE music. Besides since I left Youchew in 2012, I have spent more time actually playing the games with the uptake kicked off when I got my Wii U/3DS/Vita and the original Xbox in 2013 so the imagining not as much. I would have mentioned about the original Xbox being the best time to buy it and playing indeed at this moment Everything or Nothing, how good it is and how it has aged well both graphically and controls (except the pre-rendered cutscenes looking worse than the in game graphics) but I just couldn't be bothered. My heart has gone and what is left of me is a shell and a shadow. I also thought that nobody would be interested in it, there isn't even an emulator of the thing.
Now the problem is that it seems a lot of people talk about anime and manga whether it is here, NeoGAF, Sonic Stadium and highly imagine the online foursome of Something Awful, 4Chan, DeviantArt and Tumblr are also really big on it (plus Facebook and Twitter). Last year, I honestly tried to watch some but just couldn't get into it. All pilot episodes except one when I was pointed out that it was a DVD only episode. Tried Space Dandy and apart from one scene of him with his gun just looked a bit poorly animated at some parts but liked the main character sort of, tried Wangan Midnight and wasn't too bad with animation being decent however it wasn't dubbed so it felt drier than it might have been (at least that I have understood the plot to the game thanks to the subtitles in the show) and felt a bit slow, tried Azumanga Daioh aka that show that a fair few people here really like (the first 5 in this case) and didn't really like the characters finding them a bit annoying even though it was half decently animated, Nichijou was okay but again wasn't dubbed and some parts I just thought eh? Then it was Cat Girl Nuku Nuku or something along those lines, now the animation was one of the better ones however I couldn't get into the main character at all and found her really annoying. Finally I tried Cowboy Bebop and it was sooooooooooooooooo close, I liked Spike and his pal, animation was good but a part nearly the end just felt a bit uncomfortable to me and sadly put me off the series. I didn't even get to see Faye Valentine and the others. I thought if these were the pilots, then the animation quality would drop off like a rock when it comes to episode 2... Plus many of these shows except Space Dandy and Cowboy Bebop gave me a Waterloo Road feeling and I don't like Waterloo Road. For the Americans who want to know what it is, it is an English (later Scottish) slice of life high school drama but in live action. At least the hatered of Sailor Moon has dropped and just become a big meh to me.
This alone makes me feel out of place. Especially when people online seem to be talking about Kill la Kill an awful lot at the moment (I know the character designs of Ryuko, Mako and Satsuki but that's about it). Now I don't have many problems of people talking about Japanese cartoons at all, it's just that I don't seem to have much luck.
Not just anime but also shows and stuff aren't the same as here. I am not into American comedies or dramas and neither are my family. e.g. It's Always Sunny in Philly and Parks and Recreation. Even cartoons such as SpongeBob due to that I became a teenager just as that show started and few cartoons that were made more recently don't appeal to me. To make a confession, I don't really watch much TV and my parents watch afternoon gameshows and nighttime dramas. I wouldn't mention them here since only a few members would understand what the shows are about, well maybe except The Chase (due to having an US version) and Luther.
Even when it comes to games, I very very rarely use Steam (only have two games, AudioSurf and Tropico 3 not played either) or the other one (Sims 2, Theme Hospital and ditto) and rather play consoles since they are easier, not as easier than the past but PC gaming can have a lot of problems depending on game.
So yes, I don't know what to do here anymore. Not talented enough to draw, write or make music. Not smart enough for the smart places and too boring to be in the entertaining/humourous places. Doesn't help that a lot of things make me stressed.