Dark Fox does Nuzlocke! - The Crystal Saga: Episode 5 (where's the love?)

April 17, 2014, 12:12 pm

≫ Next: GSR's Pointless Ponderings - [The Outpost(A Minecraft Server)]: Do you has?

≪ Previous: Dark Fox does Nuzlocke! - The Crystal Saga: Episode 4 (what's the big idea?)

$

0

0

Rules pertaining to this run may be found in Episode 1.

I had already beaten a whiny white bitch, quieted the rock tree, and made it to the next town. I decided to go beat up some girls and get the HM for surf.



None of them were really too much of a problem. NotJayLeno handled Espeon and Umbreon, and Soldier handled the rest.




This is a comprehensive list of the mons on my team who can not learn surf. I'll think of something later.




I figured the next logical move was to run through Burned Tower, seeing how short it was. I was trying to catch a new mon, but I kept running into Zubats and Rattatas, so I just went on and fought Shit he.

It was not nearly as bad as I thought it would be with Soldier...




Sleeping gets confusing, we get it. Anyways, sleep powder is OP.




Damn, I'm gonna use this bug to sweep Morty too. I need Soldier to get strunker.




What? What could he possibly use to make me worry? Zubat? Ha. Don't even.





I am not one for die. You die!




Bitch.

And then I fell into a hole.












Get a life.




Don't drag me into this.

Anyways, before I walked out, I tried again to find a new mon to join me.




Fine and dandy.




Did I use confusion? Hell no. I tackled it down while it slept like a man or something.




Halogen went in the box.




That's not all you can see, baby.

Oh, yeah, decisions. I decided to head west to nab another mon and train just in case.




You're not a threevo in this game but whatevs.




I forget why I didn't weaken it further.




How do I Voltorb my KlingKlang?




Last I recall, kids stopped going to school to become trainers.

Oh yeah, and this happened.




NO I AM NOT! HOW DARE YOU INSINUATE THAT I AM AS WEAK AS




I cannot into grammar.

So, did I keep going west to try to get another before Olivine City? Hell no! I went east and ran into Mt. Mortar. And after several more Rattatas and Zubats...




I peck you to death.




Macchio will have to sit out.

I then headed north from Mahogany town, the town with a shitty mart, and walked towards the Lake of Rage, again hoping for another mon just in case.

I ran into Furrets, Raticates, and more of both before I got into another scrap.




How is it that I haven't found a pidgey first on a route before now?



Holy shit.




Get in the ball.




Get in the ball!




GET IN THE BALL!




Goddamn.




Maybe you'll become useful if Prophet ever dies.




I made it up to the lake, but didn't have the ability to surf yet. I looked for anything important to do, but there was nothing.

Anyways, I ran into a trainer with one of these. Who the fuck let this guy own a lvl 10 Gyrados?




After that trainer, I could run behind the lake and grab some pretty good items, like this, and an elixer.




Pfffffffffffffffft what.




Hooray!




Aw.

I gave someone a berry and picked it up. But there was nothing more to do over here, so I went back to Ecruteak city, without using the PKMN center.




I didn't want to waste anything, but Soldier was totally wiped on PP. So I used F Princess to take care of the pre-Morty trainers in the gym.

Fuck Spite.




Time to kick your ass. I'm pretty sure sleep powder + confusion can take you.




Yep.




Oh my.




Oh.




I didn't get hit once. In fact, I gained HP from leveling up.



And still I didn't use the PKMN center. I headed west again to fight some trainers and drain the rest of the PP I had.




IT'S PIKACHU.




IT'S PIKACHU AGAIN.




GODDAMMIT.

I'll spare you the seven hundred pictures of me finding only the Rattata family on Route 39, and just show you what I got.




Bull.




I'm running low on balls here.




Are you really doing this to me?




Na na na, nanananananana.




In the box (temporarily).




Thanks, Shit he, I couldn't have done it without you.




I checked out the mart of Olivine. I don't really need Hyper Potions yet, do I? Nope. I'll just pick up some super potions and be on my way.

I picked Bald Bull out of the PC because he could learn Surf. He doesn't get any combat action, however. Prophet, for now, will be stored.






Also forgot to mention; I got Strength from some sailor guy. Better than Hyper Fang for NotJayLeno. Anyways, off to the Lighthouse for me.




Um




I healed up Buzz and NotJayLeno in prep for some hardcore training.

No pictures, but I made it to the top of the Lighthouse where Jasmine and Ampharos were. I got the mission to surf to Cianwood and went to retrieve the goods.


There were two routes on the way; 40 and 41. I met a Tentacool on 40 and used a Super Repel between then and Route 41.




Hentai rape stuff etc.

I got the supermedicine and headed north for the Suicune event.




Don't hate.

I'm preparing for my attack on Cianwood Gym. Ecruteak, Olivine, and Cianwood all have unused PKMN centers. However, Soldier is out of PP again. I want him to sweep this gym, so I might use F Princess to take the trainers, then use the PKMN center (because everyone else is weak). What will happen next?


BADGES: 4
DEATHS: 1
SURVIVORS: 15 + Egg

Current Party:
F Princess the lvl 29 Quilava.
NotJayLeno the lvl 26 Raticate.
Soldier the lvl 25 Butterfree.
Buzz the lvl 24 Sudowoodo.
Raditz the lvl 20 Skiploom.
HM slave bitch.

PKMN Centers nearby:
Cianwood City: Unused.
Olivine City: Unused.
Ecruteak City: Unused.

Sorry for the mostly dull entry. Ecruteak's gym was way easier than I thought it would be whilst using F Princess and Soldier. I did catch, like, six new members that probably won't get any good use. I'm about to fight the trainers in Cianwood's gym. The next entry will have two more gyms, that I expect to be complete sweeps as well. Then the Ice gym, another sweep because of F Princess. But the dragon gym? That might be puzzling.

---

GSR's Pointless Ponderings - [The Outpost(A Minecraft Server)]: Do you has?

April 17, 2014, 4:43 pm

≫ Next: Dark Fox does Nuzlocke! - The Crystal Saga: Episode 6 (what have I done?)

≪ Previous: Dark Fox does Nuzlocke! - The Crystal Saga: Episode 5 (where's the love?)

$

0

0

So lately I've been drifting back into Minecraft semi-usually once again. Not really anything to do with hints of the modding API finally getting out, or… Well, to be fair, that's probably the only real reason I should have to be playing again. That, and Robotnikman's server finally reaching the peak of it's activity, when really the opposite has occurred. In fact, thinking about it some more, the server's complete lack of activity might just be the main reason I'm playing again. Lately, I've felt like the server's been receiving much less attention than it deserves, especially since activity ironically plummeted around the time the Youchew maps were finally re-added. So I decided I might make a bit of an effort to try reconstructing things a bit- both in terms of the server maps and player roster.

And you gotta help us!

But as much as I'd like to create whole blogs dedicated solely for advertising the server, for the most part I'll be making short and sweet blogs varying in frequency just to log news, random activities or status of the Gangstarmy or maps on the server(Chew York is a work of art, by the way), or just babble about Minecraft in general. So for now, on server promotion, I'll just put in a list of promotion suggestions made earlier in the Minecraft thread

As suggested in the Minecraft thread by Robotnikman:

Spoiler

Ideas to attract more players

Idea 1

Well one idea I have been thinking over to try and attract new players is a showcase of the server, or sort of like a collab. Being YTP'ers, we all have some kind of experience with video editing software, so I was thinking we can all put together a video showcasing the server. We can take various video clips of players playing on the server, with some major things which we can showcase being: Various things in the youchew world, clips of players fighting in the PVP arena, exploring the various dungeons and other hidden things, etc. We can all try and work with gathering video clips, and then putting them together into one video which we can show people.

Bonus: It would be even better if the video was shown in a news article on youchew too

Idea 2

This can also be done with the rest of the ideas. We can find some way to integrate things which happen on the server with the forums. By that I'm meaning like we can have badges which can be given on the forum for accomplishing things on the youchew minecraft server, and similar things. One idea I had was a youchew building contest, and the top 3 contestants would get a badge on the forums

Idea 3

Promoting the server and the wider YTP community. Right now the server is mainly for Youchew members, but if people on the server dont mind, we could also invite people who make YTP's (or watch them) but who dont necessarily go on the youchew forums. I was thinking also that people on the youchew minecraft server who release any new poops could promote the server by mentioning it in the description of their video, asking them to either message me or smonge for an invite and providing the address.

I promise to elaborate more on the server features in the future, but I think I'll just end things here for now.

If any of you want to check anything out, just send a PM to Robotnikman or Smonge and ask about joining the server, and go to the IP the-outpost.org.

Current Gangstarmy members:
GangstarRunner

Dark Fox does Nuzlocke! - The Crystal Saga: Episode 6 (what have I done?)

April 19, 2014, 4:29 pm

≫ Next: Dark Fox does Nuzlocke! - The Crystal Saga: Episode 7 (what could go wrong?)

≪ Previous: GSR's Pointless Ponderings - [The Outpost(A Minecraft Server)]: Do you has?

$

0

0

Rules pertaining to this run may be found in Episode 1. Pictures have not been cropped.

I made it to Cianwood city. I hadn't gone to the PKMN center yet, but that wasn't my mistake.




Thought I could use Buzz to take out a paralyzed Machoke in the gym.




I thought wrong.




Welp, that Sudowoodo is dead. So I put it in the dead box and took out Prophet again.




I then used everyone but Soldier to take out the other trainers, then I healed up for real.




Oh really?




Okay.




I ded et.




Now I can fly 'n shit.




Oh snap.




I also tried to go back to route 41 to catch something unique, but my only option was a Mantee, and they're too rare.




I flew back to Olivine, and gave Jasmine the medicine. Before I challenged her, I trained a bit in the grass north of the gym, because I knew Quilavas can learn Flame Wheel at this level. Her steel types are about to get wrecked.




Well enough to know that they get wrecked by fire.




Look very carefully at this sprite.

People make hentai of the figure in this sprite.




OHKO with Flame Wheel.




Oh noes.




Flame Wheel was not an OHKO. It was a TwoHKO. Steelix got some rock move off on me, but F Princess shined through.




I know.
Two gyms down in rapid succession. The leveling progression is low in this title between Gym 4 and Gym 7. Super effective Nuzlocke moves help too.




After the gym, I flew back to the Lake of Rage (because the game let me), and now that I have surf, I gotta go kill a modded Gyarados.




C'mere, you undercooked shrimp.




He dead.

Since I stated that the Red Gyarados was forbidden to catch, that means I have another opportunity in the Lake of Rage to catch a new mon. And who do I find?




Fuq.




He couldn't handle a quick attack, he can't handle being on my team.

Anyways, after I picked up the red scale, I flew around and did some things.




I traded the exp share for the scale.




I got the charcoal I missed from Azalea Town, gave it to F Princess, and picked up the balls Kurt was making.




I then proceeded to help Lance with the rocket hideout in Mahogony, which was essentially a gauntlet. I chose the trainer route, as opposed to the wild mon route on the left.




After the gauntlet; oh look, a free heal!




Progress check. Let's do this!




Couldn't do what thing, sweetie?



Hold the fuck up

Who told you that you could talk?




I could, but I'm not gonna.




Oh, by the by, I'm gonna hold off on evolving Raditz until it learns Mega Drain. Then I can actually use it effectively with stun spore and leech seed.





The rocket hideouts are just mindless normal/poison type gauntlets. This is the part where Lance shoots down my companionship.




Fun fact: Using a super potion before each electrode fight, then letting them self-destruct is a low-mainenance way of getting rid of them.




k




Ya?




Oh.

But aside from throwing down with two gym leaders, nothing major happened. I had big advantages over them, so I took them out, then I fought a shitload of grunts. It was a lot of actual time, but not many picture-worthy moments.

Now a word about Buzz. I'm not devastated that we lost him. He was slow. He always moved last, and that was annoying. His attack power wasn't making up for it either. So I'm going to permanently replace him with Prophet. Now I'm looking towards the Elite Four. I have nice type-advantages, but am I ready?

In Memorium

Buzz

"I probably shouldn't have put him up against a fighting type."

BADGES: 6
DEATHS: 2
SURVIVORS: 14 + Egg

Current Party:
F Princess the lvl 32 Quilava.
Soldier the lvl 28 Butterfree.
NotJayLeno the lvl 28 Raticate.
Raditz the lvl 28 Skiploom.
Prophet the lvl 15 Hoothoot.
HM slave bull guy.

Remaining PKMN Centers in Johto: 5

Dark Fox does Nuzlocke! - The Crystal Saga: Episode 7 (what could go wrong?)

April 22, 2014, 12:07 pm

≫ Next: The Realm of Entropy - The benefits of being an unemployed douchebag

≪ Previous: Dark Fox does Nuzlocke! - The Crystal Saga: Episode 6 (what have I done?)

$

0

0

Rules pertaining to this run may be found in Episode 1.

With six badges in tow, and the Mahogany Rocket base taken down, I head towards the Ice gym.




Being old isn't cool.




You have Dewgongs. I don't like Dewgongs.




I didn't heal. So, I paralyzed Dewgong and healed NotJayLeno. F Princess would wait, because I know the Dewgongs know some water-type crap.




Destroyed.




Here comes it.




Before.




After.




My prowess isn't the only thing you should be impressed by.




UMM




Oh, okay. I headed east from Mahogany before I flew back to Goldenrod. There were some trainers I took care of, one of which gave me a mirror match. Also, new route, new mon.




I don't really need another grass type but ehh.




No, it is you who needs to go to sleep.




Easy peasy.




I hope Bill likes it.




Okay, so, the Radio Tower got taken over, so I voluntarily fought five floors of Rocketeers to get to the top, so now I can go to the basement, AND WHO DO I MEET?




Oh look, it's Blasbo Biggins.




Blarfbo Baskins.




Snoopy.




But then who would take on the Gatr?




K let's du this.

Oh, wait, no grass-type attacks. No worries, just use Stun Spore, then Leech Seed, then Flash it until it's completely unable to hit you.




I caught you with your Sneasel down.




Oh yeah, and birdy learned Reflect.




Birdemic.




I'm gonna need a potion after this.

Five seconds later...




You son of a bitch.

The underground base led me to the Radio Tower director. He then gave me the key to the top of the tower to finish this sidequest.




But first, let me get some cheap heal-ups. I used all the super potions down there. I stuffed my bag with a bunch of each and carried on.




TIME TO MOW THE LAWN.









Oh my god you're so fucked.

Like, you don't even know how fucked you are.

Okay, so, what I forgot to take a picture of was the end result. I beat the Rockets out of the tower and got the Clear Bell. So, all in all, the sidequest was a complete fucking waste of time. I leveled up a bit, yes, but I could've done that anywhere.




Yes, I flew to Ecruteak just to use the PKMN center.




Then I flew back to Mahogany to beat the Ice cave, and this fucker showed up first.





Powder snow didn't really hit Soldier that hard. But it's a fair catch.




Fat Goomba is a go go.



Made it. But what to do? I decided to go south, because there are two untouched routes down there with free new mons.

First route.








Second route.




Oh, yeah. Route 46 can be accessed from the start. Maybe should've done that sooner...

So, yeah, I killed it.

Afterwards, I fought a trianer in the gym and figured I wasn't strong enough to face the leader, so I flew back up and trained in the Ice Cave. And shortly after that...




I WOULD HAVE NEVER GUESSED.




Sweet.




The Zubats, Golbats, Swinubs, and Deliburds were helpless against me. Here are some key things that happened in here, in pictures.

















I can't remember which city this was from, so just remember that I have three Johto PKMN centers remaining.

Also, I got waterfall. BUT NOT A SINGLE POKEMON I OWN CAN LEARN WATERFALL. Time to put the HM slave clause to good use.






Yadyadya, I went to the gym, killed some more trainers, and met Claire.




Nope.




Is that latex?




Presume, for me, that her first three Pokemon were not all that difficult. But Kingdra... fuck Kingdra.




I started with Raditz. I put down some stun spore and leech seeds. But I knew only NotJayLeno could finish the job, but he was injured. So, I switched to HM slave. I got a potion on NotJayLeno, then HM slave got Hyper Beam. This was not in the original script, so for all intents and purposes, Bald Bull is going in the dead box, who would've taken the hit had I not switched early in prep for Kanto.




You bitch. You're still paralyzed, seeded, and repeatedly flashed. You can't do shit.




You're out. Give me my badge.

And of course, she doesn't. She's hot, but she's a bitch. She makes me go to Dragon's Den to prove myself worthy. In prep for the free mon in the den, plus Dratini, I use an elixer on NotJayLeno, then send him & F Princess to the regular storage, as they were already fully healed, and could not be healed further by being withdrawn.




You wanna run that by me again bub?




Oh fuck I'm under-prepared. I still won, but still.




I NEED AN ADULT.




Served.



Yes ma'am.

I got the badge. I have to leave and re-enter to get Dratini though, so I do so.




Claire, being the tsundere she is, gives me her Dragonbreath and directions to the Elite Four.




I had used repel to get to the hut, but after it wore off, I went to find a mon. Magikarp will not do.




Got it.



The dragon has a human name lol.




Fun fact; getting every question right on the miniquiz earns a Dratini with ExtremeSpeed. Too bad you can't get that on your 6th gen games.




David gets fanged.




Before I stopped playing to mark this entry, I took this picture of the team I'd like to have, then flew to Elm.




What do I need this for again?




Here I am, about to take my first steps into Kanto. The Elite Four is going to be ridiculous, but I plan on training.

I'm a bit ahead of the entries in the blog, truthfully. In actuality, I'm at the gate of the Elite Four, but wanted to let you guys know that, instead of going back to Johto to a unique PKMN center every time I wanted to heal up, I would just use the healer on Route 26 for how many uses I had. Haven't done so yet, just wanted to post it before I did it to train up.

In Memorium

Bald Bull

"He would've died regardless. The HM slave just took the hit."

BADGES: 8
DEATHS: 3
SURVIVORS: 16

Current Party:
F Princess the lvl 38 Typhlosion.
Soldier the lvl 36 Butterfree.
NotJayLeno the lvl 36 Raticate.
Raditz the lvl 36 Jumpluff.
Prophet the lvl 35 Noctowl.
David the lvl 15 Dratini.

PKMN Center uses remaining: 3, plus one on Route 26, plus the Indigo Plateau.

The Realm of Entropy - The benefits of being an unemployed douchebag

April 22, 2014, 8:53 pm

≫ Next: PullThePower's Blog of Excellency. - The Precursors of YTP.

≪ Previous: Dark Fox does Nuzlocke! - The Crystal Saga: Episode 7 (what could go wrong?)

$

0

0

For the last nine weeks, I've had a job. It's actually been quite nice to feel like an adult again, earning a paycheck as society has told me I should do. But before I had this job, I was unemployed for two years, just leeching off my then fiancee and now wife. I dunno about you folks, but sometimes I preferred having a job than not - but most often it's the other way around. Either way is good, or at least, it was for me. But I do understand how being unemployed can suck a fat sweaty sack of smegma-laden dicks - and I'm pretty sure I don't have to explain how a job can do the same thing.

My job's actually pretty nice. What I actually do is order parts and manage reports for the manufacturing engineering department at the factory I work for. That probably sounds pretty boring, and sometimes it is, but I am learning a lot of new shit. Which is actually what I wanted to focus on with this particular entry.

While I was unemployed, I was pretty much bored as fuck at any given point in time. I know that having all the free time ever sounds like awesomeness embodied, but when you live somewhere you don't really know anyone and your computer sucks too much to play the most recent pc games, you have no way of buying a better computer because of aforementioned unemployment, and feeling the most epic of guilt trips because you grew up Catholic and your significant other pretty much pays for all your shit because it's hard to find a job and you have an alcohol problem so bad you tremble constantly, you not only feel hopeless, alone, and bored, but fucking hate yourself for not being a god-damned adult and getting a god-damned job like you're supposed to. Maybe not that way for everyone, but that's definitely how I felt.

More on that - I was constantly feeling fucking worthless, every day. What I did to try and make up for it was actually based on my father-in-law's advice: when he was unemployed, he said, he just tried to do something new every day. And, I didn't quite live up to that standard, but in my unemployed time, I definitely did do a lot of shit I hadn't done before, and improved on other things I had done.

During this, I tried painting for the first time. Just a few days ago, I got my first commissioned piece by complete serendipity - I called maintenance over to our apt. cos the air conditioner wasn't working so well. I was painting when they came over, she saw my shit, and asked for the aforementioned piece. It's going to be kind of large, so I'm probably going to get a nice payment for it - plus she's wanting some special kind of paint we don't have yet, but will. To go back to the point - I haven't been painting for over two years and I already got a commission. That's... pretty fucking nice, I think. So... I'm thinking, if I've gotten to the point within that time I can already get interest, I must have some sort of skill. I'm not trying to brag, really, I'm just trying to be honest - she wouldn't have asked if she wasn't impressed.

Another arena I've improved a lot is cooking. Since I was, for the most part, free pretty much every day (aside from cleaning chores), I had to cook dinner whenever possible. I haven't any formal cooking training, but I will say with confidence that some of the things I've made are the best I've eaten. I'm very good with sauces - not so much on chopping things. Aforementioned trembling makes it hard to actually wield a knife and chop things up, so I'm slow about it so as not to slice the ends of my fingers off. But, as I have tried to say, I've been getting better at a lot of shit, and this is one of those things. Experimentation with new ingredients and spices was a little easier when I was unemployed, because, fuck it, might as well do something. Desperation seemed to help not only with this but painting as well.

This might be the point I seem really fucking weird to some people - whenever I get anxious, or otherwise bothered (angry, depressed, pretty much any negative emotion you can throw in here), I clean. I know people reading this aren't dumb - with how fucked I already admitted I am, I must have been cleaning all the time right? You're god-damned right. This house was pretty much spotless until I got employed. Then everything changed when the fire nation attacked.

Our house isn't nearly as clean anymore, as might be expected, but not because of anxiousness, but just feeling so tired from working, I can't keep up with it. My wife works more than I do, so I can't really blame her for it, not that I'd want to. With my new job, I'm not worn out physically so much as mentally - it's really strange going from a universe where you can do whatever the fuck you want with virtually no consequences to one where you have to be up and working at a certain place at a certain time, trying to figure out what the fuck your co-workers are wanting you to do because you don't have any formal training knowing what the fuck these parts even ARE, much less how they work with the other parts you're supposed to organize into a more cohesive unit.

Well, this post was supposed to be about how being unemployed was actually a good thing, so I guess I should actually get to that instead of bitching. Perhaps that last sentence in the above paragraph was a good lead-in: the thing about me having a job is that I'm really lost, still, and it's mostly about me having been unemployed so long - also, not having any real formal training. But the things I did learn about while I was unemployed, I wouldn't, couldn't, take back. I'm much better at a lot of things, better at those I knew before - when I had the opportunity to learn at my own pace, even if it WAS out of boredom at times, I learned that motherfucker. Much to the chagrin of people who don't really give a shit, I've been able to make YTP's. I've gotten better at those too.

It seems like, summarily, I've gotten better at things I haven't tried before, and those I have as well. I can't really say, nor could anyone I would think, that that is a bad thing. I really hope I haven't given the impression at any point that I was bragging - that certainly is not the case. Whatever skills I have gained, I know I am not a master at any particular craft. It's fun to think I'm like a bard, in the traditional Dungeons and Dragons sense, that I know a lot of stuff, yes... I'm a Jack-of-all-trades, but master of none. And, really, I'm not sure I ever will be a master of any - but if I can get someone to pay me to do what I love doing, I'm not going to say no.

PullThePower's Blog of Excellency. - The Precursors of YTP.

April 22, 2014, 11:18 pm

≫ Next: Spongey's Blog - Regarding Recommended Poops Of The Month

≪ Previous: The Realm of Entropy - The benefits of being an unemployed douchebag

$

0

0

What could I say about the origins of YouTube Poop? It's been recounted by many, and understood by many. However, I've stopped and thought "what was the origin of this madness?" I looked and found three major examples that YTP might have been partially based off of, starting with the art style known as "Dada". Dada was a nonsensical art form in the 1920s that had to do with cutting and pasting images with no rhyme or reason. This reflects onto the general nonsensical style of YTP, but there is a key component missing, and that component was film.

Spoiler

An example of Dada art.

Our next precursor comes in the form of a segment of a Warner Brothers cartoon. The animation is named "Daffy Duck in Hollywood (1938)".

This segment captures the essence of YTP's nonsensical ideals, contained a fictional source that was edited by Daffy Duck, contains a small degree of sentence mixing (specifically, in the lion scene), contains forward-reversing with the plane, manages to capture the almost ironic styling of some poops' humor, and on top of all that, follows no direct plot, as do many poops. However, there were still more poop precursors.


The Nixon Attack ad (dating to 1968) is not worth mentioning, but does contain more of the nonsensical nature YTP contains, and might be a good example of the first stutter loop. It is also very confusing, as many modern poops, usually by such poopers like LinkOnDrugs and AwfulFawfulTheFalafle, and even reaches the uncomfortable and deadpan style of LOD. However, there is still a better example.


This is, in my opinion, the best example of a YTP precursor. Wacky Deli (from around 1996) is a short segment of an episode of Rocko's Modern Life. It, again, captures the nonsensical style, but somehow predicted the editing nature of poopers who use Sony Vegas, with layers and odd sound effects.. It also creates an in-joke with the cheese, who really is the best character on the show.

Overall, none of these precursors are YTPs as we know them, but it seems that we have derived inspiration from things like these to create our own brand of shit.

Spongey's Blog - Regarding Recommended Poops Of The Month

April 25, 2014, 5:21 pm

≫ Next: Spongey's Blog - Fuck My Job

≪ Previous: PullThePower's Blog of Excellency. - The Precursors of YTP.

$

0

0

Hey everyone. I know I have a lot of fans of this series I do, where I share ten poops worth watching from the previous month. Now I do one for April, but the major problem is that I put off watching a lot of poops this month. And that's no good because now I have a full time job I got to do. And although I still have free time, I don't want to spend it all watching poops. You understand? I love watching poops, but I'm not going to make it take over my free time. There's more to life than watching poops. Like making them!

Also I completely hate this job and I need to replace it. RIGHT. NOW.

So what now?

Well, I don't want to leave you guys in dust, because March may be the last month I ever do. So I decided to start this

http://ytppoops4u.tumblr.com/

A tumblr I started for basically sharing a poop a day. These could be old poops, new poops, classic poops, unknown poops, overrated poopers, underrated poopers all that good shit. And this makes it easy, as I can just post an old poop I like when I don't feel like searching for new poops

You can also submit poops as well if you'd like.

If you don't use Tumblr, I'll eventually open a Facebook page and post it under this blog.

Till then, please enjoy my Tumblr blog and have a nice day.

Spongey's Blog - Fuck My Job

April 26, 2014, 5:24 pm

≫ Next: Jallerbo Bojallerson's Spectacularly Monotonous Blog - An Ugly Little Story About The Rain

≪ Previous: Spongey's Blog - Regarding Recommended Poops Of The Month

$

0

0

So, I've had this job at the freezer company for about a month before they giving me a steady income. And I had problems with it, even going so far to write a blog about it that I never published, but I really liked it, mainly cause I got to work with my friend at the same time.

But true happiness can not last forever. And they stopped giving me jobs.

So I had to join a temp service just to get some money, until one day, after working at a temp I really liked, my career consular called us and said, the temp service has found a full time job for me and my friend. 5 days a week, full time

We both said yes... Not knowing what were getting into.


The company is called Oregon Ice Cream, because it's located in Oregon, duh. And around here, there are a lot of ice cream factories it is insane how many temps I got with them. But the job offered no production work but a custodian graveyard shift (Which I'm okay with, but we'll get into the real shit in a minute).

First we got to dress in sanitized clothes. Whatever, if a job deals with food that's always the case. But the worse part is these rain boots.

I am a tall guy. Most likely your clothes will not fit me. Neither will these fucking boots. They get drenched in water, so the socks do like my name sake and soak up. I actually have to get my friend to pull them off as an ocean flows through it.

That's our shitty wardrobe, so how about those employee services?

A mediocre breakroom, complete with two microwaves, which one is as user friendly as an automatic customer service line, and I guess to make things better, they give us a HD TV with cable installed, probably just to ignore us on how awful the breakroom is quality wise. It doesn't matter, someone else will already be watching something awful like, "Ridiculousness".

Also, you can't bring a backpack in. What. I guess they're nervous about someone stealing something, so I got to store all my shit in my pocket including my timesheet, so it gets all crumpled up.

And finally, one of the worse parts... No drinking fountain. I can understand some jobs having no water fountain, but this is a huge workplace involving mass general labor , there NEEDS to be a drinking fountain. So, the only thing you can do is go into the bathroom and fill up your water bottle, but if you have none, prepare to lap like a dog.

Speaking of bathrooms there is only one. One as in one that looks like a home bathroom. No stalls whatsoever. So, if someone's in there, prepare to grab onto your crotch!

The work is cleaning, which by doing this job I learn I hate, but whatever it's work.

The breaks we have are strange. 2 hours then break. 2 hours then break. then 5 hours then break?! Then we usually go home after that. So what's the point of the last break?!

So, is it worth it to work with my friend? Speaking of my friend, I can't even work with him all day! We're off doing to separate jobs. Thanks for that swell description temp service!

But what's the absolute worse part? It is awful and I should quit because of this but I'll explain in a second why I can't. You ready cause it is just a kick in the balls to this slap in the face job.





The job is 7 days a week long


"Me at 4 minutes and 46 sec"
Yes. I can't stop at all for this job. I think I can get weekends off eventually, but just finding out about this after being told

"THE JOB IS FIVE DAYS A WEEK"

Just makes me want to punch a wall I am so pissed off to go back to that fucking place. I just want to burn it to the ground that's how awful of a job I have it. The lowest thing compared to this is Taiwanese sweatshops and lower than that is slave labor.

So why do I stay? I could leave this shit at a drop of a hat, but why do I stay?

Well, I made a promise to my career councilor that I would do it for two weeks to see if it gets better. It doesn't. It just got a whole lot worse. Nobody should work at that job.

But, I think I should tell him I was lied to, as I was told it was a 5 days a week job. But, we'll see how long I last.

I've got to go to work tonight. and I've only got 6 hours of free time minus sleep. EVERYDAY.

Fuck you Oregon Ice Cream.

---

Jallerbo Bojallerson's Spectacularly Monotonous Blog - An Ugly Little Story About The Rain

April 29, 2014, 8:28 am

≫ Next: Dark Fox does Nuzlocke! - The Crystal Saga: Episode 8 (is it almost over?)

≪ Previous: Spongey's Blog - Fuck My Job

$

0

0

I was stargazing the when the sky bled. I watched as the ominous black puffs of smoke hung over the world with an almost sentient presence, and dispatched the crimson rain. I watched from the distance as every crimson droplet graced the earth with moisture, leaving only a wisp of smoke in place of any structure unfortunate enough to attempt to halt the rain’s descent. I watched the trees and vegetation melt away and become liquidized, proceeding then to glide across the landscape, eradicating it of any and all forms of life. The stars I had been peering upon began to flicker as the storm that delivered the shower of blood began to migrate toward my vicinity. On its inevitable trek, it passed over the city I grew up in, the one I had known all my life, the home of every fond childhood memory I possessed, as well as the recollection of every struggle I had endured in my upbringing.

It was a hot summer night in this city, and the children, who had begged their parents to let them stay out just a little later, were still playing in the parks and fields, as oblivious to the impending storm as they were to the approaching school year. As the rain began to drizzle, the little children tried in desperation to catch the droplets on their tiny tongues whilst they continued to play and scream with laughter. Their screams seemed to change and become more discordant as the rain grew heavier. I watched as every droplet disintegrated another portion of their fragile flesh. The screams continued to change as what were once children became unrecognizable globs of red elixir, with flashes of pearlescent bone occasionally breaking the pulsing surface; it sounded almost as if someone was playfully slowing down a record until it was unrecognizable and little more than a dull hum. The sound eventually faded into the roar of rushing water just as what was once a group of beautiful children melted into the liquidized remains of the city.

The storm continued in my direction, leaving a great crimson swirling sea in its wake. As it approached, a divine stench that seemed to be the composed of the smells of burning chemicals, rotting flesh, and something indubitably sweet, perhaps honey or cinnamon rolls, overtook me with a gust of wind, tussling my hair uncomfortably, not unlike how my father often would, and suspending my lawn chair on its back two legs for a brief moment before crashing back down onto all fours. It seemed that judgment had come for me at last. The stars had long since fled this grotesque scene, leaving me alone with the great red sea and the impending storm. I folded up my chair and started back towards my cabin. The ground behind me sizzled and smoked as I walked. Upon entering my place of residence, I closed the back door, but didn’t bother locking it. I took off my hat and shoes and put out the candle on the dresser at my bedside. I laid down for the last time in my old and worn out bed, covering up with my grandmother’s quilt despite the summer heat. As I drifted off to sleep, I recall quite clearly the oddly pleasant sound of rain drops on the roof of my cabin.

Dark Fox does Nuzlocke! - The Crystal Saga: Episode 8 (is it almost over?)

April 29, 2014, 11:32 am

≫ Next: Sick fuck's blog - Music-related report I made back in 2012 (a.k.a. the result of cleaning my backpack)

≪ Previous: Jallerbo Bojallerson's Spectacularly Monotonous Blog - An Ugly Little Story About The Rain

$

0

0

Rules pertaining to this run may be found in Episode 1.

Eight badges in tow, I surf east, waterfall up & down, and step into Kanto. The next Pokemon catch is on Route 27.




Snake?




Snake?




SNAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAKE!!

I fought some trainers handily, then made it up to route 26 for another catch.




I have enough birds.




Whatever.




Get in the box.




I do not feel like officially using this healing house yet. I shall press on.




However, do mark this grass as a good place to train.




I bet he was very Shit he.

More trainers, then I made it to the very short Victory Road. A new mon has entered the ring!




Mega Drain would've killed Onix. Stun spore would not.




I may have use for you...




The anthrax worm.




TM taught. NotJayLeno only knew normal-type moves, but I can put him up against more now.




Mark this as my official use of the healing hut on route 26.




I can't do that, son.




Well then consider me challenged.




Does he?




Nope the fuck out of there, F Princess.




It's on now, bitch.

The rest of the battle went smoothly, with type advantages being used everywhere.




Seriously, Silver seems to have the biggest and most unexplained evil-to-good turnaround of any Pokemon character, except maybe Giovanni himself.




Finally, I am here.




Not yet lol.




First, earthquake, even though F Princess is more of a special attacker.




Then, get rid of my HM slave and withdraw Anthrax.




Looking back on this, it was kinda stupid. I was gonna use Prophet to nail the psychic-types of the first leader, but I can use my other type advantages too.

So instead of diving stupidly into the Elite Four, I did some hardcore training using the PKMN center uses I had left in Johto & just using them at the healer on route 26, LIKE I SAID I WOULD.




Don't need it, I'm not making a comp team.




Learn that.




Replace Quick Attack.




KILL. HEAL. KILL. HEAL. KILL.

Even though I said I had three spare uses, I decided to only use two. I could get enough training with that. The mons on Route 26 and Victory Road were tough, but I came through with all of my team alive, several levels higher.




It's fucking on.




Here I am, standing at the gates of the final challenge of Johto. On thursday, I shall give a move-by-move analysis of the five trainers I must face to enter the Hall of Fame. Can I do it with my current team? Get hyped. But for now, adieu.


BADGES: 8
DEATHS: 3
SURVIVORS: 19

Current Party:
F Princess the lvl 49 Typhlosion.
Soldier the lvl 45 Butterfree.
NotJayLeno the lvl 45 Raticate.
Raditz the lvl 44 Jumpluff.
Prophet the lvl 44 Noctowl.
Anthrax the lvl 43 Onix.

The Elite Four must die!

Sick fuck's blog - Music-related report I made back in 2012 (a.k.a. the result of cleaning my backpack)

April 30, 2014, 10:03 pm

≫ Next: Dark Fox does Nuzlocke! - The Crystal Saga: Episode 9 (the Elite Four)

≪ Previous: Dark Fox does Nuzlocke! - The Crystal Saga: Episode 8 (is it almost over?)

$

0

0

My first blog, and this one I felt talking about since I've recently cleaned my backpack (seriously, it's a shithole in that thing), and discovered something I felt quite proud of making a couple years ago in my History of Rock & Roll class. In fact, I got an A for this one. So I thought I'd share it with my fellow YouChew buddies. Those of you who are music lovers, and especially metal heads will probably like this post.

Remember, though, that I wrote this in 2012, and there might be some mistakes I overlooked when I wrote this. Keep an open mind. So, here we gooooooo...

The PMRC
A controversial-yet-failed attempt from Washington wives to censor hard rock and heavy metal.

In the early-to-late 1980s, numerous parental groups made attempts to censor media in any form for the sake of "protecting their children from the evils of the world". Cartoon censorship was almost at an all-time high due to violent or repulsive content (innuendos and all) and the MPAA (Motion Picture Association of America) creates the PG-13 rating to increase awareness of content in movies that parents may find objectionable (i.e. Gremlins, Poltergeist, and Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom). HOWEVER, the biggest target when it came to censorship in the media was the music industry, which involved the rise of synthesized pop music, hair bands, and power metal. Bands like Twisted Sister, Guns n' Roses, and Poison were popping up left and right were climbing the Billboard charts faster than a player beating the first maze on a Pac-Man arcade machine.

Back when rock n' roll was a new thing, an older generation would attempt to try and censor a newer generation's art because of frivolous reasons that anyone who has done research would either laugh like it's nothing or defend it to the end and come out the victor. Most of the time, the latter happens. Look at the video game industry and community today for example. Take Alice Cooper, a controversial musician who was raised in a Christian household. In the '60s and '70s, all of his concerts have gotten backlash from parents due to beheadings, defecation (doubt it went that far), and the killing of animals on stage, even though all of it was fake. His song Cold Ethyl from the album Welcome to My Nightmare was about a dead corpse, and when he performs the song on stage, he has an actual blow-up doll dressed as a zombie right next to him. It would be obvious that parents would complain to concert managers about showing graphic imagery in front of their kids. This is where the PRMC comes in.

The PMRC (Parents Music Resource Center) was a failed controversial attempt to censor rock music and heavy metal so that the medium would cater to their standards. Not only this, but the real intention was to censor the artist and his/her music as opposed to censoring certain albums that contained offensive lyrics, whether it had to do with excessive swearing, sexual reference, promoting violent acts, or the occult. The group was founded by the wives of Washington politicians. One of these wives was Tipper Gore, wife of then-senator Al Gore. The group went ahead and created a list of the most inappropriate songs (in their opinion) on record shelves, called the Filthy Fifteen.

The Filthy Fifteen included:
1. "Darling Nikki" by Prince (sex/masturbation)
2. "Sugar Walls" by Sheena Easton (sex)
3. "Eat Me Alive" by Judas Priest (sex)
4. "Strap on Robbie Baby" by Vanity (sex)
5. "Bastard" by Motley Crue (violence)
6. "Let Me Put My Love Into You" by AC/DC (sex)
7. "We're Not Gonna Take It" by Twisted Sister (violence)
8. "Dress You Up" by Madonna (sex)
9. "Animal (Fuck Like a Beast) by W.A.S.P. (sex/language)*
10. "High 'n' Dry (Saturday Night)" by Def Leppard (drug/alcohol)
11. "Into the Coven" by Mercyful Fate (occult)
12. "Trashed" by Black Sabbath (drug/alcohol)
13. "In My House" by Mary Jane Girls (sex)
14. "Possessed" by Venom (occult)
15. "She Bop" by Cyndi Lauper (sex/masturbation)

*Note that W.A.S.P.'s "Animal (Fuck Like a Beast) was one of the first primary targets that prompted the PMRC to act. What a surprise (sarcasm).

The PMRC's goals were to create a rating system for all records and concerts similar to that of the MPAA's film rating system, have record companies print all of the lyrics on album booklets, establish a media-watch program to pressure broadcasters to prohibit airing "questionable talent", and reassess contracts of performers and artists who perform sexual or violent acts on stage performances. Bands such as Guns n' Roses took note of what the PMRC was up to, and retaliated by making satires of what they were planning to do. An example can be found on the vinyl records, CDs, and cassette tapes of two of their albums: Use Your Illusion I and Use Your Illusion II. It read:



"This album contains language which some listeners may find objectionable. They can FUCK OFF* and buy something from the New Age Section."

The RIAA (Recording Industry Association of America) refused to give into the demands of the PMRC, and the issue was taken to the U.S. Senate, promoting a "Blank Tape" tax to prevent certain albums from being sold up-front in order to "protect the children". Not only did the RIAA oppose the PMRC's demands, but obviously, so did the artists themselves. Three artists were invited to protest against the PMRC: songwriter Frank Zappa, Twisted Sister frontman Dee Snider, and surprisingly, country/folk music superstar John Denver.

"The PMRC proposal is an ill-conceived piece of nonsense which fails to bring any benefits to children, infringes the civil liberties of people who are NOT children, and promises to keep the courts busy for years dealing with the interpretational and enforce mental problems inherent in the proposal's design", said the late and great Frank Zappa, the first of the three who entered the U.S. Senate bench to speak his mind against the PMRC's proposals to censor artists and infringe upon the rights of citizens who most likely have different tastes in music than Tipper Gore & Friends (sounds like a really bad sitcom). He continues. "No one has forced Mrs. Gore to bring Prince and Sheena Easton into their homes. Thanks to the constitution, they are free to buy other forms of music for their children. Ladies, be advised. The $8.98 purchase price does not entitle you to a kiss on the foot from the composer or performer in exchange for a spin on the family record player. Taken as a whole , the whole list of PMRC proposals reads like an instructional manual for a sinister toilet-training program to housebreak all composers and performers of lyrics of a few. Ladies, how dare you."

Zappa's speech, which lasted 13 minutes, not only pointed out the obvious stupidity of the PMRC's demands, but also points out alternatives on how to resolve parents' concerns on such albums. Zappa's resolution was to have the lyrics, which are owned by publishing companies, printed on a separate sheet of paper and inserted into the manual through government funding instead of record companies going through the painstaking process of calling every publishing company in America and paying thousands of dollars for written permission. However, as promising as his speech was, it wasn't over.

The second songwriter who graced the Senate office was the late John Denver. Denver was also the subject of censorship, something he heavily opposed, according to his written testimony that he recited on the bench. He mentions that his song Rocky Mountain High was censored by many a radio station due to the assumptions that it is a song about the usage of illegal drugs; marijuana being the main assumption. His reply was that "this was obviously done by people who had never seen or been to the Rocky Mountains and also had never experienced the elation, celebration of life, or the joy in living that one feels when he observes something as wondrous as the Perseides meteor shower on a moonless, clueless night, when there are so many stars that you have a shadow from the starlight, and you are out camping with your friends, your best friends, and introducing them to one of nature's most spectacular light shows for the very first time." He goes on to say that "the suppression of the people begins with the censorship of the written or spoken word of any man or woman who lives, or has lived in such a country or corrupt government, such as Nazi Germany, and any other place where those in power are afraid of the consequences of an educated people." This was the argument that revealed the PMRC's true intentions to the public and struk awes among supporters of the artists' freedoms and the first amendment of the constitution. It still wasn't over. There was one more songwriter to protest.

Dee Snider, frontman of the heavy metal group Twisted Sister and a target of the PMRC stepped up to the bench. The first thing he did was introduce himself, mention that he is married, had a son (today, he has three sons and a daughter), was born and raised a Christian, and does NOT smoke, drink, or do drugs. According to his memoir Shut Up and Give Me the Mic, he came not just to defend himself for false accusations, but to defend heavy metal in general and "kick some PMRC ass". His song "We're Not Gonna Take It" was labeled as one of the Filthy Fifteen for violent lyrics. He protests to the Senate, who had copies of the song's lyrics handed out to them prior to the hearing, that there is absolutely no violence either sung about or implied anywhere in the song. Snider's proof is that the PMRC has confused the music video for the song with the lyrics to the song and the meaning of them.



He indicated that it is no secret that many music videos often depict storylines that are unrelated to the lyrics of the songs they accompany. The video in question (shown above), was, in Snider's words, "meant to be a live-action interpretation of cartoons with the Road Runner/Wile E. Coyote theme." The PMRC also attacked his band for another song, which was not listed on the Filthy Fifteen, entitled Under the Blade, claiming that the song was about sadomasochism (S&M for short) and bondage. Snider countered their arguement saying the song was written while his guitarist Eddie Ojeda was undergoing surgery getting polyps removed from his throat at the time. The song, he says, was about surgery and the fear it instills on people who are afraid to go through the medical process of being opened up to remove tumors, cancer cells, etc., hence the term "under the blade".

After the hearings, the RIAA and the PMRC finally reached a compromise and agreed to put "Parental Advisory" labels on the bottom left or right (sometimes on the top left or right), of certain studio albums, live albums, and even motion picture soundtracks that contain offensive content. The practice still exists today, and since the introduction of these labels, stores such as Wal-Mart have forbidden to sell any music album or motion picture soundtrack carring a Parental Advisory label on the front of the booklet, on the plastic casing, or even on the back cover. The whole hearing eventually inspired the creation of a VH1 TV movie called Warning: Parental Advisory, which starred Dee Snider, Mariel Hemingway, and Jason Priestley. To this day, the PMRC hearing is one of the most controversial moments in music history, and it will be forever in the minds of the artists that were affected by it.


That's pretty much it. I got an A for this report, and I consider it to be one of the best things I ever wrote about for a class assignment. Man did those writing classes pay off...

Dark Fox does Nuzlocke! - The Crystal Saga: Episode 9 (the Elite Four)

May 1, 2014, 1:49 pm

≫ Next: I Have No Idea - Adolescent Choices

≪ Previous: Sick fuck's blog - Music-related report I made back in 2012 (a.k.a. the result of cleaning my backpack)

$

0

0

Rules pertaining to this run may be found in Episode 1.

Current Party:
F Princess the lvl 49 Typhlosion.
Soldier the lvl 45 Butterfree.
NotJayLeno the lvl 45 Raticate.
Raditz the lvl 44 Jumpluff.
Prophet the lvl 44 Noctowl.
Anthrax the lvl 43 Onix.




I step inside.




Will sends out Xatu. I open with Anthrax. Anthrax Rock Throws for about 45% damage. Will hits me with a Psychic for two-thirds of my health. Anthrax can't take another hit. I switch to Soldier. Xatu Psychics again for about a fourth of my health, and lowers my special defense. Sleep Powder puts Xatu to sleep. I use the next turn to hit Xatu with Gust. The next turn is used to heal Anthrax. Xatu is still asleep. Another Gust gives Xatu a sliver of health. Xatu psychics again, leaving Soldier with low yellow. I gust again, and Xatu is down. Jynx is next, so I switch to F Princess. I lead with Flame Wheel. It's a one-hit KO. Slowbro is next, so I switch to Raditz. Raditz opens with Stun Spore. Slowbro is paralyzed. It still manages to use Amnesia. I then tack it with Leech Seed. Slowbro can't move. I use Flash for good measure. Slowbro still can't move. I fully heal Soldier. Slowbro uses Curse. I use Flash again. Slowbro curses again. I attack with Mega Drain. Slowbro curses again. I Mega Drain, but Slowbro body slams Raditz... hard. Raditz loses over half health, but gets some back from Leech Seed, which kills Slowbro. Xatu is about to come out again. I send out Prophet. Xatu opens with Confuse Ray, and Prophet hits herself. Xatu uses Psychic for about 40%, but I manage to Hypnosis Xatu. Xatu is asleep, and Prophet smacks himself. Xatu is still asleep, and Prophet flies up high. Prophet hits with Fly for about 35%. Next turn, Xatu wakes up, uses Psychic, and leaves Prophet in the red. Prophet puts the bird back to sleep. I try using Thief, which does more damage than fly. Another turn asleep, another Thief, which knocks out Xatu. Exeggutor is last, so I resend out F Princess to finish this. One Flame Wheel finishes the job.




No deaths. I heal up. Next is Koga.




Koga sends out Ariados. I lead with Soldier. I test out Psybeam. A critical hit! Knockout. Crobat is next. I try sending Anthrax. Crobat Double Teams. Anthrax misses Bind. Crobat Double Teams again, but Bind hits this time. Crobat tries to use Toxic, but Anthrax avoids it. I try a Rock Throw that misses. Crobat tries Wing Attack. It does very little damage. Anthrax does another Rock Throw, but only does about 35%. Crobat is in the yellow due to Bind. Crobat tries Toxic again, which fails. Another Rock Throw. Critical Hit! (the RNG gods are upon me) Crobat goes down. Forretress is next, so F Princess comes out to play. One Flame Wheel is all it takes. Soldier comes back out to take care of Muk. Soldier hits with Psybeam, which only does about 40%. Muk Minimizes. Soldier uses Sleep Powder, which works. Soldier then uses Confusion. Muk is in the yellow. One more Psybeam, and Muk is taken down. Venomoth is last, so I send out Prophet. Hypnosis puts the bugger to sleep. I fly up into the air, and Venomoth wakes up to miss supersonic. Fly strikes Venomoth... and kills it with a crit. Seriously?




The Koga fight was completely one-sided. Three critical hit KOs? Yeah. Anyways, I am so ready for Bruno.




Bruno starts with Hitmontop, to which I respond with Prophet. Hitmontop Quick Attacks for a small amount. Prophet flies up high. Hitmontop uses Detect, a move I didn't anticipate. Fly fails. Another Quick Attack, then I use Hypnosis. While Hitmontop is asleep, I use Confusion. And again. And again. Hitmontop has a sliver of health, is asleep, and is confused. I finish Hitmontop with Thief. Prophet levels up. Onix is next, so I give him my Raditz. One Mega Drain, and Onix is no more, no crit necessary. I see Hitmonchan, which worries me, because I know that he has the elemental punches. I respond with F Princess, because she's the only one on my team with no weaknesses to Hitmonchan. It hits me with Mach Punch, to which I respond with Flame Wheel, which takes half of its health. Another Mach Punch, another Flame Wheel, done. Machamp is next, so Soldier comes out. I anticipated Rock Slide, so I put Machamp to sleep first. I pump two Psybeams into Machamp, but before the third, Machamp is saved by a Max Potion. I land a regular Psybeam after the potion, then I land (you guessed it) a crit Psybeam. Soldier levels up. Last is Hitmonlee, which Soldier stays in for. Soldier blasts it with Psybeam to confuse it. Hitmonlee hits itself. Like, really hard. Like, about a fourth of its health hard. I use Confusion to wrap this battle up.




The next gym leader is supposedly primarily Dark type, but that isn't the case. No healing is necessary between her and Bruno.




Karen starts with Umbreon. I respond with NotJayLeno. I attack with Strength. Umbreon uses Sand-Attack. I use Strength again, and Umbreon uses Feint Attack. Another Strength, and we have a dead Umbreon. I see Vileplume is next, so naturally, I send out F Princess. Flame Wheel. Boom. Done. F Princess levels up. Gengar shows up. I pick Soldier again. Gengar places a Curse on Soldier. Soldier uses Sleep Powder, then takes damage from Curse. I switch out to Prophet while Gengar remains asleep. Prophet uses Confusion, leaving Gengar with very little health.

Then, it happens.

Gengar wakes up.

Gengar uses Destiny Bond.

Prophet uses Confusion.

Down goes Gengar.


Down goes Prophet.


Prophet is no more.

The game does not tell me which Pokemon is next. To be safe, I send out NotJayLeno. Murkrow comes out. I attempt Super Fang, but NotJayLeno misses. Murkrow responds with Feint Attack. Super Fang connects the second time, but so does the other Feint Attack. One more, and NotJayLeno goes down. I use the next turn to heal NotJayLeno. I get greeted by another Feint Attack. The next turn, I use Strength, and Murkrow goes down. Last is Houndoom, so I respond with Anthrax.

Anthrax goes down with one Crunch.


Anthrax is no more.

To avenge Anthrax and Prophet, I send out F Princess. F Princess uses Earthquake, and Houndoom is taken down.




Umm, wow. I did not expect two of my members to go down to Karen. I'm gonna go take a lunch, and tackle Lance. He has three Dragonites. This might not be very fun.








Gyrados on his side. Raditz on mine.



Raditz opens with Stun Spore. Gyrados is paralyzed, but uses Rain Dance. Raditz latches on Leech Seed. Gyrados uses Hyper Beam, dropping Raditz to mid yellow. Raditz uses Mega Drain, which does little. Leech seed gives some health back. Raditz uses another Mega Drain. Gyrados can't move this turn. Another Mega Drain. Gyrados still can't move. Gyrados is now in the red, and the rain stops. Raditz uses another Mega Drain, and Gyrados is down.


Raditz levels up. Lance is about to send out one of the three Dragonites. I send out NotJayLeno.


This Dragonite knows either Blizzard or Thunder. NotJayLeno opens with Super Fang. Dragonite paralyzes with Thunder Wave. Dragonite uses Hyper Beam, knocking me down to low yellow. I pop a full restore immediately. While Dragonite recharges, I finish it with Cut.


NotJayLeno levels up. Another Dragonite? NotJayLeno stays in.


I start again with Super Fang, and get another Thunder Wave in response. My face is hit with a Hyper Beam. I use Cut this time, saving Strength for later. This plays out the same as before, so I use a full restore while Dragonite recharges. Strength brings this beast down.


Aerodactyl is next. I don't know who to send out. I finally decide on Raditz.


Raditz gives it a Stun Spore to paralyze. I receive a critical rock slide...


Raditz is no more.

NotJayLeno is next.


NotJayLeno attacks with Iron Tail. It hits, and leaves Aerodactyl with a sliver of health. I receive a Wing Attack, which does about 30%. I use Cut. Aerodactyl is down.


Here comes Charizard. I respond with F Princess.


I attack with Swift. Charizard attacks with Wing Attack. Swift again, less than half on Charizard. Charizard responds with Flamethrower, which does even less. Another Swift. Charizard uses Hyper Beam, which knocks me under half. I use the recharge turn to heal F Princess, just in case. After that, one swift, and he's done.


The final Dragonite approacheth. I send out NotJayLeno.


I open with Super Fang. Dragonite attacks with Hyper Beam...


No! Not only did I think that Dragonite would Thunder Wave first, but I didn't think a Hyper Beam would kill me!

NotJayLeno is no more.

I send out F Princess once more to finish off this monster.


F Princess uses Swift. Dragonite must recharge. Another Swift, but Dragonite isn't dead! Dragonite counters with... Safeguard. lol. But then Lance uses a full restore! That fiend! F Princess uses Flame Wheel, and gets a crit, which would've been a nice way to finish off Dragonite, but whatever. F Princess uses Swift again, and Dragonite uses Outrage, taking off 5/8ths of F Princess' health. I use another Swift, and Dragonite uses Outrage again. I can't take another hit like that, so I heal F Princess. Dragonite hits her with... HYPER BEAM? Oh, yeah... Safeguard prevented Confusion... dammit. F Princess takes the hit like the champ, remaining in the green. Swift again, and Dragonite must recharge with red health. It's not injured enough to take out spectacularly with Flame Wheel, so I kill it with Swift.


It's over.






























Well, not exactly.

In Memorium

Anthrax the Onix

Prophet the Noctowl

Raditz the Jumpluff

Not Jay Leno the Raticate

STATUS: Champion of Johto
BADGES: 8
DEATHS: 7
SURVIVORS: 15

The Surviving Champions!

Soldier the level 46 Butterfree!

Flame Princess the level 50 Typhlosion!

I Have No Idea - Adolescent Choices

May 4, 2014, 5:48 pm

≫ Next: In Other Words - Hexxit--Q'n'A's

≪ Previous: Dark Fox does Nuzlocke! - The Crystal Saga: Episode 9 (the Elite Four)

$

0

0

Adolescent Choices by Ideas (sry if my grammar is a little bad)

It was another Friday night in Melbourne & school had ended for another long week,
The sun was changing the sky’s colour as it ducked down below the metropolitan region,
As the blue sky turned to black, all the teenagers were emerging from their homes like bears exiting a cave,
They all headed over to an abandoned warehouse that sat a few streets over from the bank of the Yarra,
A brown-haired girl by the name of Elizabeth was worrying about what was going to happen that night,
Everyone in school knew her as an outcast, she had no friends but she was at this gathering to try & fit in with the crowd,
The warehouse was a sardine tin with teenagers filling up the building like flies to a turd,
The DJ was about to hit play on one of the turntables, everyone was getting hyped like 5 year-olds eating sugar,
Elizabeth was still pondering anxiously about the events that the night might bring,
She was turning her head left to right & back to left again like she was crossing a road to see if she would be free from any danger,
The DJ started the music in a smooth transition, Coincidentally the first song was Warehouse by Logistics,
It was also a coincidence that it was Elizabeth’s favourite song,
she was possessed by the music,
She forgot about all her worries throughout the song & just as the DJ rolled out the next song the bully of her year named Eve came over to pick at her like a chicken to a sack of seed,
She walked up behind her & tipped a waterfall of water down Elizabeth’s back & ran off with the laughter of a clown,
Elizabeth was about to break down in tears when Eve came back over & forced her to drink an odd substance, She refused the drink,
“Do it you munted twat” said Eve who was about to roast her alive like a marinated pork leg,
“No!” Elizabeth shouted in her face, thrusting full boar at her & punched her face into the back of her head,
The li quid that was in Eve’s hand flew towards the roof & the cup emptied its contents onto her, some of the drink she accidentally swallowed,
The party was making its way further into the night, an eighth of the crowd was blazing a bushfire of bongs,
Elizabeth wanted to leave but she noticed Eve was lying on the floor, wiggling like a fish out of water,
“Oh crap!” Elizabeth yelled in her head & whispered in her voice, “She’s swallowed some of that drink!”
There were a few girls & boys around her who noticed what was happening, some of them freaked out as the fish flopped about,
Elizabeth thought she’d better do the right thing so she called an ambulance for help,
A boy by the name of Ash had helped her to drag Eve outside of the warehouse,
After 10 minutes of waiting the ambulance finally pulled up at the gate of the building,
The paramedics jumped out of the vehicle & ran like as if they had a serial killer behind them to the front of the building where Elizabeth & Ash were waiting with Eve,
The paramedics said “Right, we’ll take over now as they lay the twitching female on the trolley,
As they were wheeling her to the van, the police rocked up like a curious vulture to see what had happened,
Elizabeth explained everything to them while Ash helped the paramedics, one of the cops was scribbling everything down in a black notebook as she spoke,
The police realised that it was time to shut the party down so they called for some backup,
Four more blue collared taxis & a paddy wagon rolled up to the scene, some of the bobbing heads inside the building saw the lights outside & ran like they’ve kidnapped someone,
The Ambulance drove off into the city with Eve shaking in the back cabin while Ash wandered back inside to join the other teenagers,
The policeman who was interviewing Elizabeth said “You did a very smart thing, good job.” While the other officers went inside, one holding a megaphone,
The DJ abruptly stopped the music midway through Being With You by Foul Play & everyone was shuffled outside like wandering zombies,
An eighth of the crowd hadn’t left yet due to being so high on pot that they could fly to Seychelles & back,
The policemen loaded the stoners into the paddy wagon & commuted them to the cop shop,
Elizabeth strolled home thinking about how glad she was that she didn’t drink the odd substance & wondering if Eve was alright at the same time,
She had arrived home when her mum who was worried sick to the stomach about her said that a news reporter was coming around to interview her tomorrow,
But by the time that her mum finished her sentence Elizabeth was sleeping like a log, sleeping deeper than the Mariana Trench,
The night was glowing for there was a full moon & the news reporters were down at the station waiting like seagulls to be fed with the story,
Ash had wandered off to bed while Eve was busy being taken care of by a nurse in the blank, white hospital ward,
The doctor paced in & showed the nurse the test results, Turns out the drink was compiled with two crushed up ecstasy pills, vodka & Redbull,
The doctor gave Eve a shot of a medicine which had an unpronounceable name & her heart rate started to slow down like the brakes on a car,
Eve was then out like a light, ready for more tests the next morning, when she got back to school she started to suck up to Elizabeth like a dummy, Elizabeth was queen at her school & a hero in the streets.

In Other Words - Hexxit--Q'n'A's

May 5, 2014, 7:43 am

≫ Next: Dark Fox does Nuzlocke! - The Crystal Saga: Episode 10 (huh?)

≪ Previous: I Have No Idea - Adolescent Choices

$

0

0

I wanted to jot this off real quick before I went to work. I'm a bit embarrassed to say that in my lavish praise of automation for Minecraft in a previous entry, I have obviously not maintained the system which was supposed to keep the server automated. Therefore, understandably, when I started losing interest in Hexxit (and ran into problems I simply couldn't fix, such as certain players being unable to log in due to some seriously low pings), I left it running and never really checked in on it after a month.

Today, though, I was looking through the logs and console output and saw something extremely distressing--during a restart of my host, one of the other two servers I run bound to the port I normally bounded the Hexxit server to before the script which kicks Hexxit on started. This apparently happened a few days after the last time I took a look at the server the see how it was going. I am happy to say, though, that the server has been regularly backing up every day and removing the oldest backups day by day--so nothing much has changed since the last time you might have seen it.

I want to be clear to my word--the Hexxit server is back up and like I said before, I have no intention of ever taking it down. It just sorta happened to go down when I wasn't paying attention to it--something I'll be better about taking care of as I love how close most of us worked together to get through the many dungeons, castles and caves we conquered. That's Minecraft multiplayer at its freakin' best, hands down.

As always, you can join the server through the Technic Launcher's Hexxit modpack and joining revisionistfables.com. There's a few plugin changes if I hadn't mentioned previously--wherein I disabled the treecapitator mod because of how much lag it caused. I've also added my little favorite reporting mod ReportRTS, for which I haven't applied the permissions yet and intend to do so when I get home from work.

Until then, though, if you have any questions or concerns, please tell me. Or if something isn't working right (like you can't login, before which I implore you to make sure nobody else in your house is gobbling up your connection before blaming your bad ping on me. The server pings for me, on average 100-140ms and there's no reason if you live in the United States it shouldn't be similar for you).

I hope to see many of you soon!

Dark Fox does Nuzlocke! - The Crystal Saga: Episode 10 (huh?)

May 6, 2014, 12:57 pm

≫ Next: The Realm of Entropy - The detriments of being an employed douchebag

≪ Previous: In Other Words - Hexxit--Q'n'A's

$

0

0

Stop dancing. We're going to Kanto.


I need to re-go over the rules.

1: If a Pokemon in my party faints, it dies. I gotta put it in the dead box on the PC.

2: I can only catch the first mon I see on each route. What counts is

• Each individual numbered route.
• Diglett Cave
• Rock Tunnel
• Mt. Moon
• Mt. Silver

2a: Dual-Species clause: If the first mon in a route is in the same evo-line as a Pokemon I've caught before, I may disregard that mon & consider whichever unique species that comes up next as the first mon I may catch.
2b: Self-destruct clause: If the first mon in a route blows itself up, that doesn't count because fuck those guys.
2c: HM clause: If, for some reason, I have no mon that can perform a necessary HM move to progress, I can catch one, do whatever HMing that needs to be done, then toss it away.
2d: Shiny clause: If I see a shiny, I catch a shiny. If it's not the first of a route, the shiny may replace any mon in my box, which will then go into the dead box, or the shiny will go into the dead box itself.

3: Pokemon must be given a nickname for emotional bond purposes.

4: If I blackout, I lose forever.

5: Trades are not allowed. Gifted Pokemon are.

6: I may only use each PokeCenter/party healer ONCE IN THE ENTIRE RUN. It was originally going to be no use at all, but I figured that if I was going to Kanto, that may get a bit too difficult. I need to change this rule for Kanto. I could easily grind in Kanto to reach a satisfying level to beat Red. Suggest a new rule in the comments. Banning the use of all PKMN centers cannot be done, as no shops in the game store PP-restoring items.

7: Legendaries must die or be skipped.




Thanks douchebag.

My party from the Elite Four is still with me, although I know that four of them are dead. I use Prophet one last time to fly me to Goldenrod.



I should've gotten this egg sooner but what the hell ever.

I dropped off my dead team members and picked up the Togepi egg and this one.




Everyone, you remember Bird Allah & David, right? They'll be joining us for our Kanto journey. Two more members will also tag along, but I'll figure them out after the eggs hatch.






We're off to see the wizard, the wonderful wizard of KANTO.




Muh bed. I don't need it yet.




Oh yeah, I remember. Everyone in Kanto is weak. Maybe not the Gym Leaders, but the average trainer poses almost no threat.




Muh NotJayLeno...




MUH SOLDIER




I found the little girl and beat every other trainer on the ship. I figured I would never see this boat again, so I used the bed and fell asleep.




And off the boat, apparently Snorlax followed my example.




Seriously? Over three years later, and this guy isn't done yet?




Route above Vermillion, first spotted.




Mine.




Ghey.




I'll probably regret this later, but David is my surfer.




Sweet. Time to attack the Lieutenant.




You wanna fuckin' die?




F Princess knows Earthquake. You're done for.







Soldier was the only one I trusted with Psychic at this point. On to Saffron!













Oh no, two gyms. Well, the fighting gym on the left is abandoned, and the psychic gym on the right is one I'll skip for now.




He's calling you.






Never saw that coming.




This is more a reference to Togekiss not existing yet than it is to a Youchew member, but he probably won't see this anyways.




The catch on the route to the left of Saffron... route 7 I believe.




You can't kill dragons.




Stop stealing my art.




Muh Raditz...




I should go ahead and mention that I put Cantfly in the PC and took out Furretta to be my HM slave to get into the Celadon gym. I got the fire starter, let's go bitch.

Spoiler

North from Saffron to Cerulean.



Fine, I didn't want to fight you anyways. I have the fire starter.




Route 24's guest of honor.




Gotcha! Nanananat was caught!




I kinda wish I thought of that name sooner...




The furious five gives me a mirror match.




And then whirlwinds me away.




Route 25: Muh Prophet...

I don't think I ended up catching anything on route 25. So I headed right from Saffron to Lavendar.




711spooky911me.




Low level extravaganza.




You disappoint me.




Another route from I don't fucking know where.




The Meowth is inert.




Put that thing back where it came from or so help me.




Oh yeah gimme your rod.




Super Rod Pokemon are level 40, so they help if someone dies. This was on whatever route the fisherman was on.




Nice color palette.




Needs more air.




You can't be serious.




Oh shit.

I went down two more routes to get these two mons.

















Also,






Time to go to Koga's former gym.




It was obvious.




Soldier is gonna wipe you.




Nice numbers, maggot.




There's porn of those pixels.

What?


http://puu.sh/8BRDy.jpg

Exp share is a blessing.


http://puu.sh/8BRFW.jpg

Gay.

http://puu.sh/8BRwW.jpg

Oh yeah, I replace Spears with Alucard because I always wanted Alucard as a Crobat on my team.
So I'm in Kanto with three new badges and high hopes for the rest of the game. What kind of rule should I impose in Kanto to make the Red fight possible yet challenging?


BADGES: 11
DEATHS: 7
SURVIVORS: 29

Current Party:
F Princess the lvl 52 Typhlosion.
Soldier the lvl 50 Butterfree.
Bird Allah the lvl 36 Pidgeot.
David the lvl 15 Dratini.
Alucard the lvl 11 Zubat.
Furretta the lvl 10 HM slave Sentret.

PKMN Center uses left in Johto: 1
PKMN Center uses left in Kanto: A lot.

The last three images seem to be broken. In case you were too lazy to click on the links, it was Bird Allah evolving into Pidgeot, the Safari Zone being closed, and my current team.

---

The Realm of Entropy - The detriments of being an employed douchebag

May 8, 2014, 9:54 pm

≫ Next: Crazy Luigi's Crazy Thoughts - The LeBron James App: Why?!?

≪ Previous: Dark Fox does Nuzlocke! - The Crystal Saga: Episode 10 (huh?)

$

0

0

I'm just finishing up week 10 at my employment - at 12, I'll have another evaluation, and be eligible for free uniforms.

You know what? Fuck this shit. In the ass, hard as you please, with your grandmother's dildo.

I don't think I can emphasize "ugh" enough; I made in my last post how well I thought unemployment went for me, though it was bad at times. Well employment can suck a fat sweaty bag of smegma-laden dicks, and here's why-

First point: No one ends up doing what they want to (save a select few). Realistically, we're all not Stephen Hawking - we don't have a "calling" we fall into and do so much at it we blow everyone away. If you chose what you thought you were best at, right now, and decided to go for it, likelihood states you're not going to ever reach that level. You can try and are certainly welcome to, but you most likely won't. Even if you are good at what you do, that doesn't necessitate being influential. You can try at what you like best and fail, and that's pretty much par for the course.

Second point - no one knows what's best for them. Sure, no one is omnipresent, but as diverse as the workplace is, can you ever see your counselor telling you you'd be best at (whether you've already graduated from high school or not) something quite the opposite of what you thought you wanted to do? Perhaps you want to be a great scientist, yet you'd be a better writer. Maybe you'd be a better artist than you would an entrepreneur. This is the thing - if you need someone else to tell you what you're best at, maybe you need to take more time to evaluate yourself. No one DOES know themselves - regardless of how much you think you might, how much you've nailed yourself down into your niche, you're still most likely a fucking idiot who doesn't know their asshole from a hole in the ground. If you're confident in yourself and have a lot of belief in what you're wanting to do, maybe you should check yourself. Same goes for those who are unsure - check yourself as much as possible. I definitely fall in the latter crowd of "unsure" people. Self-evaluation is the worst form of evaluation. To get more centrally to the point, however, I would say that regardless of how you think about what you do, there will always be someone out there to be able to, rightly, criticize what you do, and you have to be prepared for that.

Thirdly, I would say... the management of time becomes so much more complicated. If you have a set schedule - say, working 9-5 Monday through Friday - you do your time, then you come home. Well, having that schedule, good fucking luck getting time to go to the Post Office, or buying anything that is in a small Mom and Pop shop - you simply don't have the opportunity. Then, you get the privilege of having to organize your bills around pay days. If you don't have any pets or kids, that's all easy shit, but if you do... you better lube your ass, because you will be fucked perpetually. Daycare bills, vet bills, hospital bills, the time involved with each... you will have NO time to yourself. Even assuming the best situation including one of those - you have a significant other loaded with cash who never works, does all the household chores, and will even give you some downstairs attention... there's not always going to be enough time in the day for them to handle things while you're working your ass off. There will ALWAYS be a situation you need to devote your precious time to, and it's going to suck more cocks than six guys blowing nine guys on a daily basis.

Fourthly.. well, the money is just a means to an end. You use it to do what you have to do, and maybe there's a little something left over for yourself. Depending on how shitty your job is you may be thinking "Yay, we can afford salad!" or "Ugh, this umbrella does clash with my suit, perhaps I should look around." But, honestly, most of us are in salad camp. As much as you hate doing what you have to do, you look at the prices of things like you wish you could physically strangle them when you realize they are ultimately out of your price range, realize, then, that you can't do that and move on to pick up whatever's cheap and you can eat without gagging. And...

Fifthly, you come across the realization that even though you ARE working hard, you still are unable to afford the things you really want. It'd be really nice to get a new computer so you can play the newest games on PC... maybe some new shoes for your friend's upcoming wedding since it feels like shit to not be proper at such an event... maybe it'd even be nice to buy some fucking fresh fish for a change - none of this frozen bullshit. Thing is, bills fucking suck. Taxes make it worse, but hey, this isn't Tea Party Central, I'm not going to bitch about that - but what I guess I'm trying to say, here, is that no matter how much you make, there's always a want for things which will never be realized.

My morbid hatred makes me not want to even follow through with a closing paragraph, but fuck that shit. I'm not going to glorify having a job, nor can I say I'd glorify being unemployed either. To be completely honest, you HAVE to have a job or you're going to get screwed more royally than sitting on a throne equipped with bidet, forcefully moved up and down on it with your virgin ass. I should know - theoretically with being unemployed over two years, I should be able to shit a fucking pine tree, but thankfully, my asshole virginity is unstained.

Crazy Luigi's Crazy Thoughts - The LeBron James App: Why?!?

May 11, 2014, 1:07 pm

≫ Next: The Epicness of Reak's Blog - 2013: A Year in Amusement Parks

≪ Previous: The Realm of Entropy - The detriments of being an employed douchebag

$

0

0

So in case you've been living under a rock this past month, the NBA playoffs have gone underway with some interesting poise. While the Phoenix Suns didn't make it to playoffs as the big underdogs of the block (which sucks in an entirely different light, but that's a topic for another time), those that have been watching the 2014 NBA Playoffs were treated to some very big surprises along the way. Teams like the Memphis Grizzlies, the Dallas Mavericks, and even the Atlanta Hawks (one of whom shouldn't have made it, yet did for fuck all) have the top dogs in the Oklahoma City Thunder, the San Antonio Spurs, and the Indiana Pacers fighting for their playoff lives in the first round, and some unique aspects happened that help make this ride quite a journey for those that followed it. From racist allegations to multiple overtimes in a row to even surprising upsets from other teams, no matter what type of fan you are, you can certainly respect a wild ride with a potentially good climax to boot.

However, even now with the second round rising up out of the ashes for a big finale to make way for the conference finals, there's one polarizing character that still drives the NBA's playoffs into making it like a story like it is today. If you hadn't guessed, I'm of course talking about the former Cleveland Cavalier / now Miami Heat (and maybe future teammate for someone else?) LeBron Motherfuckin' James! Ever since LeBron made his way out onto ESPN that one fateful day in July of 2010 just to talk about what team he'd be going to, he had easily become one of the biggest "antagonist" players in the modern day NBA right up there with Kobe Bryant, if not even surpassing the likes of him. And why wouldn't it have been the case? His set up was that he had planned to help the Cleveland Cavaliers win the NBA Finals before he retired (which also doesn't help that he lived in the city of Akron, Ohio before being a Cavalier and then a part of the Heat), yet despite making it to the NBA Finals one time with them, he couldn't do it because the rest of the teammates he had (and his coach for that matter) more-or-less sucked in comparison. Because of that, he decided that he couldn't really do it with him being the big-time leader, so he had to join up with former Toronto Raptors power forward Chris Bosh and Miami's own star shooting guard Dwayne Wade (who I should note did win a championship back in 2006) in order to try and win not just one, two, or even three championships, but over 8+ championships! To say that's egotism of a massive degree is really putting things lightly.

Unfortunately, things have sort of worked out for the Heat since after losing to the Dallas Mavericks in the 2011 NBA Finals (personally, I would have wished it was some other Western Conference team at the time instead, but whatever), they had come back with a vengeance by taking out the Oklahoma City Thunder (who I would have liked better if they had remained the Seattle SuperSonics instead, but again, whatever) in 5 games during the lockout season in 2012 and after grabbing Ray Allen from the Boston Celtics, somehow found a way to upset the much more experienced San Antonio Spurs through a brutal 7 games in 2013. To further exemplify the point, up until this year, LeBron had ended up winning four of the last five MVP awards for the regular season (with the lone exception before Kevin Durant this year being the youngest MVP winner in Derrick Rose who might never play at an MVP level again at the rate he's going). Even now they look like they'll have an easier path to not just being in the NBA Finals, but getting a three-peat thanks to an especially weak Eastern Conference that only had the aforementioned Indiana Pacers as a team that look to cause a serious threat to the Heat in the Eastern Conference. So with the NBA playoffs under way and the Heat get set to potentially cruise on over to the NBA Finals again, why not watch what he's doing with his own phone app... wait what?

In case you were wonder, no, this is not a joke. This is being dead fucking serious over something that might not last all that much longer. Now to be fair, LeBron's reasons for not posting things online to stuff like Twitter or Instagram or whatever social media websites he does is pretty dead set on for not being distracted on a goal he wants to achieve. If you have a major goal you want to achieve, the last things you'd want to worry about is posting whatever thoughts you might have online and potentially compound problems in the process. At least by being more reclusive on the way he behaves under a big time stage, he'd have the potential to not worry about much at all beyond the idea of succeeding in a simple goal of being a three-peat champion for the Miami Heat, much like how Michael Jordan did it under the Chicago Bulls (twice) and Kobe Bryant and Shaquille O'Neal did it under the L.A. Lakers all those years ago. Unfortunately, what this advertisement does (which is something I've been seeing on YouTube more and more these days) is make people that do dislike LeBron James make him think he's even more of an egotistical asshole than he already is (or was depending on what your feelings on the guy are)!

Look, there's nothing really wrong with following something you like (such as a person like LeBron James) on social media websites where the words they say take more precedent over people like us since you might honestly be a fan of the person (or at the very least might find some of the things posted to be legitimately funny). However, just because you can make an application for just about anything these days doesn't mean you should, especially when said app is the equivalent of following just one guy around for just about anything he does anywhere. Most of the supposed 18 million or more people that do happen to follow LeBron on these types of websites should surely have some more time to themselves or some other interests they have beyond the man; otherwise it kind of makes them look more creepy than some of the more horror themed flicks we seem to have these days. I mean, looking at someone's posts, videos, or even pictures is one thing; having something where you could look at someone's travel plans (even if it's something as simple as playing in Brooklyn for either two or three games (depending on how Brooklyn plays for the rest of their playoff match against Miami)) and even what kind of shoes someone's wearing is something else entirely. Still, this application has the stench that just screams out short-term gain over something completely superficial.

What this commercial says is that until June (and that's just assuming that no one upsets the Heat early on in the playoffs), LeBron will not be posting anything from places like Twitter or Instagram like he usually would (probably). If you really did want to follow LeBron James and see what kind of shit he sees as well, you know very well that the application might end up lasting for at least one more month for people at best. After the Miami Heat's playoff run is over, regardless of whether they do win the playoffs or not... what exactly happens to it? Does it still end up working beyond the playoffs (as in, what might happen for free agency if he does declare for it), or does will it just go offline altogether until the next playoff series? If it's the former, then why would some of us even care about the app when we could check out other outlets for any news regarding LeBron in the first place? If it's the latter, then all it does is waste gigabytes of data for your smart phone that could have been put to better use for something like playing a game or checking out news or even coding for said smart phone for something else! Either way, unless you really do care about finding out what kinds of food LeBron eats (in which case I'm sure there's an application for cooking some of these same kinds of foods as well), it almost feels like a waste of time beyond the initial plan of following the guy that might not win the championship at the end of the day. Still, I might be able to forgive some of the quirky faults at hand if it weren't for this commercial's annoyance factor that it has.

To start things out, the narrator has this big, self-righteous ego that feels almost exemplified when he says that even though LeBron James is his favorite, it's just him and "18 million other people" checking him out. However, assuming you weren't watching this advertisement as a YouTube commercial and didn't close out of it as soon as you were allowed to for certain videos, as soon as he ends up introducing the app starring LeBron James himself, it starts getting worse. Oh sure, it starts out a bit promising, if not a bit cringe-worthy due to the "Bron Bron" nickname the guy game him, but once the James family gets mentioned, it kind of gives off a strange vibe of sorts that doesn't feel all that genuine. After that, we get to what might very well be the point of no return with it not only giving out some very, for lack of a better word, facepalm worthy language that includes a hashtag Twitter kind of trendy two word phrase and even calling a picture of some admittedly good-looking food a "food selfie". Top it all off with the guy pretending that he can talk to LeBron by having him "pound his chest two times if he thinks people will love this app" and then having him cough due to that chalk shit that he does before games for some odd reason despite being nowhere near it in real life, and you've got a reaction that best fits the picture below...

Admittedly, it might not be as annoying as I'm letting on. After all, one general trait of annoyance is having something being bludgeoned straight into your head over and over and over again until it feels like it's something you can never, ever get out of your head no matter how hard you try. If you haven't been seeing this advertisement anywhere either online or on TV somewhere like ESPN, you could say that I'm overreacting, and I admit that it's certainly a viable possibility. However, my question is not whether a better advertisement could make me like it or even if I were a fan, would I want it? Rather, the proper question I'm asking is why does an application like this even exist in the first place?! I mean, we don't have an application promoting what the President of the U.S.A. does throughout his day, do we? No, and a good reason why is because it would be like an invasion of privacy to the President since people would get first-hand information of him on the spot. While it may sound like venting something out of my system while it's still fresh in my mind, it still seems very odd to have an application dedicated to just one guy and what he does throughout his day. Hopefully we don't get too carried away with what we might end up creating with our applications; otherwise we might see something either more insane or more stalker-ish by design in the near future.

The Epicness of Reak's Blog - 2013: A Year in Amusement Parks

May 17, 2014, 5:48 pm

≫ Next: HerrVarden's Alternate-Universe Lair - The Elevator Of The Mob (POEM)

≪ Previous: Crazy Luigi's Crazy Thoughts - The LeBron James App: Why?!?

$

0

0

I might be late for this, but I'll do this anyway. 2013 kept amusement park technology get better and better and even if we have seen some of the stuff this year before, that doesn't mean that those things are bad. For here, I'll tell you what new things in amusement parks are great, in a big surprise, in a disappointment, in terribility, and many more things. Remember, this is all taken from what coaster enthusiasts think from reviews from Theme Park Review, CoasterForce, the Mitch Hawker coaster polls, etc. and not just me. There are also many things that go overall for coaster enthusiasts for coasters and parks. Since I went through all of that, let's get into this.


Best New Steel Coaster:

Iron Rattler @ Six Flags Fiesta Texas
The original Rattler was a crappy wooden coaster with a lot of rough moments and a large and boring helix, but then Rocky Mountain Construction came in and turned a bad wooden coaster into an awesome steel coaster. They improved the Rattler by making the ride smooth, putting in new trains, having overbanked turns, more airtime, and they even added a freaking barrel roll. Iron Rattler was so good that it landed in the top 10 in the Mitch Hawker steel coaster poll on its first year. Now that's what you call an epic ride. Also, the name of the ride is epic, Iron Rattler.


Best New Wooden Coaster:

Outlaw Run @ Silver Dollar City
Yes, this is a wooden coaster with an inversion and no, it isn't a failure like Son of Beast was. Overall, this is ranked as the best overall new roller coaster by coaster enthusiasts and there is no arguing on why they say that. Outlaw Run is the first ever wooden coaster with multiple inversions, 3 inversions to be exact, and there is a lot more that comes with it. Outlaw Run has many records like the 2nd steepest drop on a wooden coaster (1st steepest being the upcoming Goliath @ Six Flags Great America), the 3rd tallest drop on a wooden coaster, and the 3rd fastest wooden coaster. To add on, Outlaw Run has multiple moments of airtime. Hell, there is even airtime on this ride while going sideways. To add on, like I said before, 3 freaking inversions on a wooden coaster. The first inversion is an outside banked turn (as shown in the photo above), but many enthusiasts don't call it an inversion since it only does a 153 degree flip. The final two inversions are what makes Outlaw Run noticeable, the double barrel roll. You go through two consecutive barrel rolls before the ride comes to a stop. So yeah, this is one of the two reasons to go to Silver Dollar City (the 2nd reason being the cinnamon bread).


Biggest Surprise:

Full Throttle @ Six Flags Magic Mountain
Before it opened, people thought of Full Throttle to be a big gimmick, but when they rode it, they went straight ahead and changed their minds. Instead of being a "regular launched coaster credit", it was actually a great coaster. Instead of a big and forceless vertical loop, Full Throttle's loop was not just big, but it provided some great hangtime. For the backwards launch, it wasn't as useless as we thought it was going to be. The backwards launch provided some good hangtime going up the dive loop where you dive down to the tunnel in. Finally, there's the top hat, and that took everyone, including myself, in a big impression. Going down Full Throttle's top hat is one of the best moments of airtime on any coaster in California (specifically in the back car), and coaster enthusiasts thought that it was going to be a lame ending to the ride after looking at the announcement. Full Throttle is so big of a surprise that I thought that it would be ranked lower than Goliath in my opinion, but it's actually my favorite coaster in the park.


Most Disappointing:

GateKeeper @ Cedar Point
While people were not so excited for Full Throttle, a lot of people were very excited for GateKeeper. After not that big of impressions on B&M wing riders like X-Flight, Raptor, and the Swarm, we thought that GateKeeper would be the relief of B&M wing riders, but we were wrong, WAY wrong. Instead of a great ride that we all expected it to be, we got something that is still forceless, having chest-crushing restraints, and having a pretty bad rattle. Hell, even the people who thought that this ride was going to be okay got disappointed. The best thing that coaster enthusiasts can like about GateKeeper is what they did to the entrance of the park, and it looks better than the entrance was before. Other than that, it wasn't worth the big hype.


Worst New Ride:

Hades 360 @ Mt. Olympus Water & Theme Park
This ride would've been the most disappointing ride of 2013, but coaster enthusiasts know that Mt. Olympus can screw up pretty well with what they do. The original Hades was already a fine wooden coaster that didn't need any upgrades, but Mt. Olympus saw some bad stuff about the original Hades in their own eyes and they wanted to "improve" the ride. So they did by adding new trains, re-tracking some parts of the ride, and adding an inversion. That doesn't sound bad, right? Yes, but does that mean that it is not bad? No. As I said before, some of the track has been re-tracked, not all of it, and with the new trains, the moments with the non-redone track causes some of the roughest moments on any roller coaster. Hades 360 is so bad that many coaster enthusiasts are calling it worse than Bandit @ Movie Park Germany, Dragon @ Adventureland, and even Goudurix @ Parc Asterix. We all just hope that Mt. Olympus makes Gravity Group re-track the parts of the ride that aren't re-tracked yet or Hades 360 will remain as one of the worst roller coasters in the world.


Best New Non-Coaster Ride:

Transformers: The Ride @ Universal Studios Orlando
I know that this ride is already at the Universal Studios parks in Hollywood and Singapore, but it has finally made it to Orlando. If you haven't been on Transformers: The Ride, it has the same ride function as the Amazing Adventures of Spiderman ride at the Islands of Adventure park next door, but the Transformers ride has a lot more action, Michael Bay explosions, slow motion moments, and a bigger story. Also, the queue line has some nice theming that ties up to the story of the ride, but you have to ride it yourself because I'm not going to spoil anything here. Even though I like the Spiderman ride more, you better check this one out. It's certainly better than watching the Transformers movies.


Best Overall Steel Coaster:

Expedition GeForce @ Holiday Park
Based on the Mitch Hawker steel coaster poll, Expedition GeForce continues to be ranked as the best steel roller coaster in the world by coaster enthusiasts. It has one of the best first drops on any roller coaster, has some fast and tight overbanked turns that make Millennium Force's turns feel forceless, has trains with good restraints, and let's not forget that this ride has airtime, and Expedition GeForce has a lot of great airtime. Expedition GeForce has been said by many to have some of the best airtime on any steel roller coaster. If you don't believe the coaster enthusiasts, then ride the coaster yourself.


Best Overall Wooden Coaster:

El Toro @ Six Flags Great Adventure
Since its opening year in 2006, El Toro has been ranked #1 year after year in the Mitch Hawker wooden coaster poll, and it still continues its streak in 2013. Like Expedition GeForce, El Toro is mostly known for its insane ejector airtime, and many people like El Toro's airtime even more than Expedition GeForce's airtime. If you want to see how intense the airtime on El Toro is, search up "El Toro airtime" on Google Images and look at the first result. That's correct, the wheels come slightly off of the track because of the ride's powerful airtime. El Toro also has many tight turns and an insane first drop that you have to ride it to believe how insane it is. Not to mention, El Toro has the Rolling Thunder hill, the single most popular airtime hill on any roller coaster.


Best Overall Park:

Tokyo DisneySea
If we were counting a collection of parks, then the Walt Disney World resort would be the best park, but we are talking about one single park here and that one single best park is Tokyo DisneySea. Tokyo DisneySea is loved by everyone who takes a step into the place. The theming is beautiful, the rides are never bad, the efficiency is perfect, you won't have any bad food, and people will go on and on about how amazing Tokyo DisneySea really is. The biggest suggestion by coaster enthusiasts is to not trust the Golden Ticket Awards that say that Cedar Point is the best park because of the collection of rides but to instead go to a park like Tokyo DisneySea to have a real good experience.


Worst Overall Roller Coaster:

Zamperla Volares @ Various Parks
In 2012, Goudurix @ Parc Asterix has been ranked as the worst roller coaster in the world, but in 2013, that title belongs to the Zamperla Volares. There are many complaints by coaster enthusiasts by these rides being very uncomfortable and very rough. There are a lot of turns and transitions that will cause a lot of headbanging. Want to know how to make these rides worse? Well one of the only coasters in North Korea is a Zamperla Volare. How does that say to the rides terribility now?


Worst Overall Park:

Fuji-Q Highland
When people are calling Fuji-Q the Six Flags Magic Mountain of Japan, they are correct, but not in a positive way. Coaster enthusiasts actually hate Fuji-Q WAY more than they hate Six Flags Magic Mountain, and Magic Mountain doesn't have the quality that the coaster enthusiasts want. Going on topic, Fuji-Q has the single worst maintenance and operations out of any park that anyone has gone to. The rides open about an hour after the park opens, loading times for rides go extremely slow, all of the coasters are not smooth, every ride closes down in the slightest rainfalls, it is a rare occurrence to find any decent food, and most of the pathways are just asphalt. There are more complaints about this park, but I don't need to talk more about it.


That's all there is for 2013 in amusement parks. We'll just wait for more things that 2014 will bring to us.

HerrVarden's Alternate-Universe Lair - The Elevator Of The Mob (POEM)

May 21, 2014, 5:53 pm

≫ Next: Pete's Ramblings - Rant 9

≪ Previous: The Epicness of Reak's Blog - 2013: A Year in Amusement Parks

$

0

0

Down in the streets of the grand city
Deep in the alleys of the wretched scammers
Is but a single door with the mark
The noble mark of the men ruling scum
Upon opening that door, one sees a hall
A hall that stretches beyond a feasible end
And at the end stands but two gates
One of a light blue, the other darker
They open with ease, almost it were automatic
But once they close, no hope unlocking them
One gets stuck in that elevator for long
It first goes down, and then it soars
The time to where one makes the stop
Can allow for the seconds to seem hourly
And in viewing the skyline stained with foolishness
One always sees the moon with crimson tears
This elevator always does this ride by night
Though by how tall, why not by day?
Upon reaching the top, one sees the reason
For as the logo swirls 'round the tower
One is much more confused rather than repentant
They see the buttons, glowing with casual delight
But all in their thoughts is that Morton
Who worked them and weaseled them up here
And even though no voice calls to them
Even though no metal is pressed upon them
They head to the main office, without delay
Feeling their blood like iron, and heart heavy
Upon opening those double doors, a gasp escapes
Where they see who the head really is
A grin so secure, spitting out whiskey wishes
One would hope to have those memories again
Before the known conclusion would gravely beset them
And back to that elevator they all go
Including Morton, the head and the unfortunate soul
In a way, the elevator is head's heart
Making its grand delusion all the more present
For no one bothers to see it descend
To where the sun and the fools meet

Pete's Ramblings - Rant 9

May 23, 2014, 11:42 pm

≫ Next: The Boom-Boom Turtle Sunnabitch starring Crispy Cleggnuggets For All and Many More - Pink Guy - PINK GUY [rEvIEw]

≪ Previous: HerrVarden's Alternate-Universe Lair - The Elevator Of The Mob (POEM)

$

0

0

5/26/14 - This entry has been featured. How swanky.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

It's been a while. I ditched the ranting scene on youtube a long time ago because those socially dead losers are really not worth associating with, with the exception of a few. That's not the point of this whole thing, though. Maybe I'll make it a seperate post.

Today's topic, friends, is something I've noticed for a very long time but never understood. At all. It has to do with serial killers and the strange and frightening cult followings they get. But I must clarify one thing, if you think stories about serial killers are interesting reads, then I get you. I will admit that some of this stuff sparks my curiosity, but that's it. I'll read about it and it's done. Where my understanding ends, though, is when you take these deplorable motherfuckers and start getting emotionally attracted to them Yeah, you probably guessed, these people are from tumblr. I guess I really shouldn't expect much, but here's the thing: I don't usually get angry by much on the internet, not any more anyway (even when I'm cunty on here, it's usually nothing deep seeded) but seeing this shit made me extremely floored.

We're going to take a look at a bunch of these posts that I have found. Some of you may think these people are just trawlin' and who knows, maybe they are. If I'm being trolled, I'm being trolled, who gives a fuck?

Post 1: The Collage

Let's look into this. You see lots of these kinds of images. Usually they have horrendously low resolution screenshots of these ugly motherfuckers. Sometimes, they'll include quotes of either things they've said, written, or random words just pulled out of nowhere. Occasionally, as you can see in this screenshot, they'll include hearts to make sure you know 100% that they are in love with said killer. Wow.

Post 2: The Merchandise

This screenshot shows some lonely shit stain that has just acquired some shirts based off of his/her favorite serial killers. There's just one thing I don't understand about this whole thing: everything. Why would you buy this? Why would you wear this? Why would you even think for a second that this is a good idea? And lastly, where would you be able to wear this without potentially getting the shit kicked out of you? I can't imagine someone casually wearing shit like this to take a leisurely stroll to the fucking post office. What I think (which is just an assumption based on what I have seen, of course) is that this person also has an emotional attraction to these insults to humanity, much like the fuckstick in post 1. God damn.

Post 3: The Defense

(Backstory for this one: Kipland Kinkel, a supposed underachiever who killed both his parents and a few schoolmates)

Now if you're like me, you read that and you came out of it a more confused person than you once were. Yeah, this kid killed 4 people in cold blood in 1998, but you don't understand! He felt like he was inferior! He was mentally ill! He was misunderstood! Fuck off, you piece of shit. No, that's too good an insult for "people" like you. Read that last paragraph. Sure, anyone can seem genuinely sorry about doing something, but that only matters if you knock over a drink or you break someone's glasses, or something else small along those lines. Saying "sorry" does not do the victims justice and that's something that these inhumane urethral stains just can't seem to grasp. At this point, I'm gonna say that the defenders are just as bad as the killers, since they share the same mentality. Some may say that's an ignorant thing to say, but again, when it comes to these things, I don't give a shit about what's ignorant. I don't want to know more about these fucked up people.

Last and certainly least,

Post 4: The Joke

Now this, I really, really don't get. Yeah, let's make light of everyone who's been killed by the people you're obsessing over! What on earth could be wrong with that? Another thing that I think is even worse, is that these kind of pages actually get a lot of positive reception (just a lot of reception in general) and I'm probably not helping that fact, but if anything, people should know better than to exploit these situations just so you can make shitty art to post online. Fuck you, in the ass, you dumb motherfucker.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Well, that's probably the angriest I've ever been in one of these. Damn.