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tabull's Blog - Hacking Cory in the House DS Part 3: Dialog Head Sprites

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In this final entry about hacking Cory in the House DS, I will be discussing the sprite files for the dialog heads. The same ones we use as emoticons here. This was probably the most amount of time we spent on determining back in 2008 only find absolutely nothing in regards to how these files stored their data. And of course after mucking around with them four years later, I was able to determine where each pixel was stored along with the location and color data. A lot of determining this was pretty much a ton of trial and error and a bunch of just messing around with my program until things started looking closer and closer to an image that made sense. Figuring this out was the most difficult due to most, if not all, the header data between all the dialog head sprites were exactly the same. That meant I couldn't figure out what each part of the header represented, however since it was all the same, I didn't have much to worry about, unless I were to work on the sprites that weren't dialog head sprites. Unfortunately, what I was able to figure out only worked on the dialog head sprites, as all the other sprites would come up with jumbled image. Had it worked, we could have changes things like the title screen, Disney logo, inventory items, etc. Not to mention there are texture files, while they are not the same file extension as sprites, they look somewhat similar in where the pixels are stored, so we could've made Cory look like whatever we wanted. Maybe some other day.

But with that all out of the way, there are 3 files for each sprite: an obj file and two inc files. The obj file contains all the data about the sprite such as the length, width, and the color of each pixel. The location of the pixel followed a pattern of where the it was stored in the file, which I will get to later. The two inc files contained the exact same data between all other sprites other than the name of the file, so for dialog head sprites, I have no clue what they were used for. So, for this entry I will just be discussing the obj files. One of the first things I did to determine what was stored in these obj files was to compare what two different files and see what their differences and similaries were.

I got something like this when comparing the Normal and Happy Cory sprites


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It wouldn't seem very helpful at first glance, but we know two things, the header of the files are exactly the same and some parts look very similar but are using different values. Such as the left file used 27 and 28 while the right used 2B and 2A. The patterns of 00 were also similar near the beginning of the differences. After a long while, I was able to deduce that these were the pixels of the file, they were not compressed (thankfully), and each value was a color. I was also able to correctly deduce that these values map to a color somewhere else as the values were very close to each other and they only took 1 byte to store each pixel. I would assume that 256 colors would not be enough to accurately portray Cory's visage. Another point was that the differences at the start were consistently different, and someone back in 2008 tried swapping two files to see what would happen and the colors went out of whack. This meant that a palette is stored for each sprite rather than using the same one for all of them, otherwise swapping the files would not have changed the colors used.

In the end, this is what I was able to determine as the structure of the obj file:


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The first four bytes are the file signature. You'll see these in many different file types, they quickly let the program know that it's reading the right type of file before trying to process it. The next seven chunks of 4 bytes are offsets to each header value (note that like in the other files, these are increasing in size: 34, 40, 42, 4A, etc.) These values are used to tell how far to read each bit of data, which I grouped in orange blocks. I was only able to determine where the length and width are stored in these header blocks, which I highlighted in yellow (40 is 64 in hexadecimal, so it's a 64x64 image). The rest of the file is where all pixels are stored. Note that I highlighted in green 8 byte chunks and then highlighted 8 of these chunks. Every 64 bytes is an 8x8 tile, so the first 8 bytes are the top row, then next 8 bytes are the 2nd row, and so on. Now the part that took a lot of messing around to figure out, which was how these 8x8 tiles are arranged. After some time, I was able to find out that they are stored as four groups of 8x8 tiles to make a 16x16 tile and are arranged as top-left, top-right, bottom-left, bottom-right. These 16x16 tiles are then stored in this fashion:


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The partially filled in numbers are the order in the file that those pixels are stored. The 16x16 tiles are arranged from the top-left and move to the right until the width is met, then it moves to the next row and continues until all the tiles are arranged to make a 64x64 image. And that's it really, I had got my program to read the obj files, and was able to get the image to display.


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Well almost, I put each value as a random color because I wasn't aware of where or how the palettes were stored. The good news was that they're stored in a file called "Palettes.bin" and the other good news was that they are stored in a common Nintendo DS 16-bit color format, so it was relatively easy to convert then to 24-bit color that most people use. The palette file was also easy to read, it simply followed this pattern: number of colors in the sprite, definition of each color, number of colors in the sprite, definition of each color, and so on. The only thing was that I could not find anywhere that mapped each palette to what sprites, so I just brute forced my way through all the dialog head sprites until the colors matched.


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And that was that, I knew enough about the sprite and palette files that I quickly wrote a sprite importer and exporter and created this YouTube video replacing Cory with the avatar I had at the time complete with witty dialog and laugh track to emphasize the unbeatable humor.




That was everything I was able to accomplish in the couple months I worked on this. For anyone interested, the download link to the ROM hacker can be found here. It will require a ROM unpacker to unpack the ROM file before using and to pack the ROM after editing, but it works pretty well for what it does.


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Jallerbo Bojallerson's Spectacularly Monotonous Blog - TRAGEDY

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Tragedy falls not upon those who are least deserving; neither does it torment the vicious and evil. We are all victims of fate, and fate holds no judgment; it harbors no sentience or will and feels no remorse or pride for the lives it claims. To say fate is cruel is a notion equivalent to believing the wind chooses to blow, or that the sun decides to set. All things happen according to the whim of Father Time regardless of statistics and luck, or even wishes and prayers. All experiences, whether they be pleasant or tragic, are based merely upon our own perceptions, and those perceptions are rooted in interpretations, and interpretations are as far from the truth as one can get without blatant deceit. Perhaps the only truth that we can take refuge in is that there is no truth; no grand design, no greater good, and no tangible evil trying to consume us. We are all the quasi-prophetic alpha and omega of our own personal takes on reality, whether we interpret said reality to be hell, heaven, or somewhere in between, or perhaps even somewhere beyond. Likewise, tragedy should only be regarded as another one of these inevitable changes and experiences we mortals are at the mercy of on a daily basis; for one should not fear the blowing wind, and neither should one weep for the setting sun.

Dark Fox is a re-color, not an original character. - Entry 12: One year on YouChewPoop

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Why the fuck have I tolerated you faggots for 365 days?

So, does it matter that I've been on these forums for a year now? Not really, no. What matters is that I hope, that, once I'm gone, I'll be remembered for the good things I've contributed. Am I going away? No, but I have to think back on how you guys have seen me this whole time.

Here's my introduction post, if you haven't remembered (I don't blame you):

Spoiler


I can't remember if I was trying too hard to fit in or what, but at least I didn't set a bad first impression as TAW012294.

So... what have I learned being on Youchew for this long? I've learned that:
  • You guys really like the fact that Peach is in Smash Bros.
  • Cory in the House is infinitely better than Other M.
  • We can all have fun with Miku!
  • NAveryW is WalrusGuy.
  • Steg is a guy.
  • Harrison Ford matters.
  • James Avery & Danny Wells will be missed.
  • Fred Phelps will not.
  • I can get free upvotes by reposting shit from reddit to the funny images thread.
  • I can increase my post count by visiting the forum games.
  • Collabs attempts by newbs are completely acceptable & obviously should not be mocked, even though it's extremely funny & almost harmless to do so.
  • Big Bang Theory is a good source.
  • WWE interviews are a better source.
  • I can revive a dead fad only if I can relate it to current events & it can be funny.
  • If I make a really bad Halloween costume & just steal everybody's candy, I can make at least second place.
  • Tabull can play a mean Lucario, & Munchlax is a fucking asshole.
  • I had sex with a kid in a plumber costume (hell, I didn't even know).
  • CombuskenIsAwesome doesn't like Kill la Kill.
  • AGSMA & Deaniac can draw.
  • Pickle Boy likes to hurt & tease pickles.
  • Miss10 is the only user with a Growlithe.
  • Kaiju Snuff was a thing once.
  • You can pay grown men $5 to recite memes from 4chan.
  • Putting avatars in the correct order means sex.
  • Making your villager look like Hank Hill is the AC: New Leaf endgame.
  • We constantly have to remind ourselves that PS3 has no games.
  • NegroTed was one of the smartest womans of the 3th century.
  • TruthSaves.
  • Status updates were meant to be made into Family Feud questions.
  • ShikaP is getting worse at english every second.
  • There is only one user that can "fucking die" properly.
  • I don't know anything, & I'm not funny.
There's probably a lot of things that I'm missing, but you get the jist of it. Will edit it if someone thinks of more.

So, thanks for letting me stay. I'm glad to have played my minor role thus far, & hope that the poops that lie ahead continue to get better.

PTP's Adventures in Gaming Reviews - Ghostbusters: The Video Game (2009)

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So I decided to whip out my dick Xbox 360 Copy of the Ghostbusters: The Video Game. I've owned it for a while, and only today I decided to pop it in, and it's a fun game. The controls feel good for some reason. There isn't a good way to describe it, besides that it feels right. The story is good for a Ghostbusters game. The Ghostbusters hire a rookie just as a paranormal energy wave thing hits New York. Now you, the rookie, must find out what the hell is going on around here! This game has many strong points, such as ghost designs, the aforementioned controls, the acquisition of the original actors, and the proton pack, along with its variants. However, there are a few flaws with the game as well. The characters look stiff, the third person view is slightly disorienting, the lip sync is a bit off, some of the instructions given by the characters can be cryptic, some of the bosses are boring, scanning the ghosts can be frustrating, it's too short, and grinding for pack upgrades gets really old. So, with these flaws, why do I love this game? It might be due to me watching Ghostbusters a ton when I was a little kid, but even without nostalgia goggles, the game might be fun to non-Ghostbuster nerds but most likely will be liked by fans of the series. So buy a used copy and pop it in for a short, fun time.

Pop's Thoughts - Entry 1: Why am I doing this

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Why am I doing this

Ehhh whatever.

I, of course, ask this because I'm pretty brand new to this whole 'making YTP' (and posting on Youchew) train. My Youtube account has been up for a lot longer, of course, but I started uploading YTP about 4 months ago, with a terrible Michael Rosen poop that I decided to just unlist. Not like I think any of my later YTPs are good in any sense of the word, but I wasn't feeling this one.

Why did I start making these videos in the first place? First off, I'm a long-time YTP fan (watched them waaay back in the days of 2007 or 2008), though not a loyal YTP fan until recently, when I started to actually interact with/learn about the community and finally make the videos. Second, ehh, not like I have anything else to do during the day. Finally, it was something to show my friends.

My first YTP was of Ambition. Remember Ambition? Retsupurae did a thing with it? Whatever. And my first effect in the world of YTP, the one that started out the video, was increasing the volume by an ear-shattering amount. You know, I do understand the whole "earrape is annoying and hurts my ears" thing but I've never really cared. Anyway, this effect was given to the intro to an Ambition "episode" (if you can call them that), which mainly featured a piano track and some overly dramatic clip. Following was some simple sentence mixing that anyone can do and a lot of meaningless stutters. I can't remember a lot of it, so that's all you're getting.

Halfway through making the video I decided to work on a Michael Rosen poop instead; thus, the Ambition YTP was never uploaded. It featured a lot of the same things as the Ambition poop and is just as worth mentioning.

At this point I decided to go into a completely different style of YTP, with a small amount of jokes and an emphasis on fear, insanity, and depression. I started out with "wrong number" which was more of an experiment with this style, and "chapter 2" which made use of more interesting edits, and a couple GIFs at the end that I'm somewhat proud of. A month afterward, I made "This is not a video." which my first time using corrupted footage (at the 7 second mark) in my videos. This was also when I joined Youchew. Afterward I joined the (now failed) collab "The Styled Collaboration Collab" and made "final breath". What I'm hoping is that I will eventually stop making terrible videos and evolve into something good.

So here I am with 4 videos and I think I'm all cool, writing blog posts.

I'm supposed to put something here!? - 2600 Showcase: Space Attack

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Due to my recent infatuation with the great woodgrained beast known as the Atari 2600, I've decided to start writing up bit "reviews" of the various games I have in my collection. So far, most of my games are common, so it's not like I'll showcase hidden gems yet, but I'll attempt to give insight into games you might not know much about. So,why not start with the ultimate 2600 game: a rehash of another game on a competing console!

A long time ago, in the great year 1980 (or 1979, according to some internet dudes), Atari was doing pretty well for themselves, what with their arcade smash hit Asteroids having just come out the year before, and their Video Computer System line (it actually wasn't called the 2600 until the 5200 dropped, so for accuracy's sake, it shall henceforth be called the VCS.) gaining lots of money due to its popular port of Taito's classic Space Invaders. However, a dark shadow loomed on the horizon, one that would shake up the VCS's hold on the market. This shadow's name was none other than... *dun dunnnnnnn* INTELLIVISION! The great console unleashed upon this Earth by Mattel's electronics division, who wanted a piece of the "80's Video Game Market Boom" pie. However, unlike the other consoles that attempted to gain market edge over the VCS, the Intellivision actually did well for itself. After all, you most likely have heard of the Intellivision, but what about the Bally Astrocade? The Arcadia 2001? The RCA Studio II? If you've heard of any of these, then you're either a complete nerd, or a clone of me. But anyways, part of Intellivision's success has to be due in part to its memorable commercials, which dared to challenge the king of the industry itself, with a little help from sports journalist, George Plimpton.


Not to be confused with Bill Plympton, another guy you probably have never heard of until now.


I prefer Atari myself, but let me say for the record, that commercial would definitely convince me if I was in the market for a new system back in the day. Maybe it's a bit of an unfair comparison, since they represented Atari with the game Home Run, which is a rather early title, and one that's certainly not known for being very good (But that game's a story for another one of these blogs.), but it does look legitimately better, and plus they have a real expert backing it. (to be fair, Atari did have Pete Rose and Don Knotts in one of their early commercials. Pete Rose was of course a baseball expert, so natural fit, but Don Knotts plugged Breakout, which just kinda implies he was an expert in bouncing shit off walls or something. Yeah, I dunno.) And they weren't just fabricating anything, the Intellivision is a legitimately stronger console. While it can be debatable whether that makes the games any better (the weird disk thingies on the controllers weren't the best for arcade-like games, which were a majority of the best titles on the market.), it can't be argued that it had better graphics, though. But we're not here just to talk about graphics...

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We're here to talk about games! Or, at least 1 game. That game is Space Battle, a relatively simplistic "defense" game focused around preventing a generic alien fleet from destroying your mothership in the center. Now, you're probably scoffing at the mere simplistic idea of it whilst buying the latest and greatest in gaming PC parts so you can play the new MLG MOBA game or whatever you guys are into, but it had to have been fucking cool back then. I'll admit, I don't really know, since I wasn't even imagined, let alone born in the 80's, but to me, it's pretty impressive for a home console of the time. While marketing this to their flagship system was a given, Mattel must have realized that a lot of poor VCS gamers would be missing out on games like that, so out of sympathy, they ported Space Battle and several other titles to the VCS. Well, they probably just wanted money from the heretics who wouldn't bask in the light of the great Vision of Intelli, but it sounds much more pleasant my way.

There are two things immediately noticeable about Space Battle on the VCS: 1, it's not actually Space Battle. Mattel, under its VCS manufacturer name, M Network, released it as "Space Attack", which pretty much means the same thing. 2, it's in a weird-ass cartridge.

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After the game crash of 1983, excess units were sent to prisons around the country,. Inmates were overjoyed at how useful the cartridges' triangular edges were as shivs.

Atari had no regulation over the market, so there was no set way a cartridge had to look.3rd party ones went all over the place in terms of design, but most stuck to the standard "rectangular box" schtick, unlike Mattel. You may think this was a daring departure from convention, an artistic statement about how their games were "The razor edge of awesome.", but you're completely wrong. They actually were just being cheap and reusing Intellivision cartridge shells with VCS internals inside. You have a good imagination though. After you get done gawking at the cartridge for a while, then you pop that fucker in and power it on, hoping for some awesome space action and adventure. Instead, you get this.

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Initially this screen is completely blank, but I couldn't find a pic of that, so put that wild imagination of yours to use and mentally get rid of those little floating dots and such.

What the hell? Is the game broken? Did you stumble upon some crazy game that's not actually a game like in The Last Starfighter? Well, there's an answer to those excellent questions: Read the manual, you dumbfuck. The manual provides the expert technique of moving your joystick. Then, the game begins, with dots- err, alien squadrons converging on your center area thingy. You need to deploy your units by pulling the joystick left, right, or up after selecting an alien squadron by pulling down. Then, press fire at the same time that you move left, right or up. Then, your loyal spaceship squadrons will head out to battle. Once they meet an alien fleet and start flashing, move the joystick to that squadron's assigned direction and get ready for some galactic ass-kicking.

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Violence like this warranted an M rating back in the day.

As seen in the picture, once you engage, you enter a cool little first-person shooter against some incredibly annoying and dodgy UFOs. In the Intellivision version, they can loop and flip, but I like it better without that shit, because the game can be hard enough with those purple fuckers haphazardly darting every which way. The damage system works oddly. you'd think you have to worry about your ship getting hit from first person, but for some reason your sight is the only vulnerable thing. Either that's a very meta game element, or you're in a weird gun turret thingy. But anyways, just avoid the alien shots when they turn red, and you're good. Clear 6 fleets and you're done, and get a weird noise to tell you so. It sounds short, and yes it is, but it isn't a bad game at all. It's pretty fun to play for quick bursts when you get bored, since you don't need to put a lot of focus into much of it, and it's apparently pretty common, so if you have a 2600/VCS/whatever, I'd recommend it.

I'm supposed to put something here!? - 2600 Showcase: Video Pinball

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Let's establish the biggest point in this I want to make: I love pinball. It's awesome because no game is ever the same, and there's no feeling quite like straddling a table and beating the fuck out of the flipper buttons in the hopes you'll eventually hear that beautifully loud "WHACK!" that signals an extra ball or replay. While the feeling of a real life game can never truly be digitized, there have been some fantastic pinball sims over the years, like Pro Pinball, Zen Pinball, and The Pinball Arcade (real imaginative names, huh?). However, there weren't always completely comprehensive simulations. For most of the 70's your only choice of ways to play pinball was to just go to an arcade or bar that had a table. That changed when Atari released its 1978 coin-op, Video Pinball. (I believe it was the first virtual pinball table, but there may have been an earlier one. I'm not quite certain, and there's not much info online.)

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If it was any more 70's, there would be multiball based around the Partridge Family fighting the Vietcong with lava lamps in the Watergate office complex.

That playfield looks a little too realistic for the graphics of the time, huh? Well, that's because it's actually real. The machine has physical cutouts of the playfield objects and LEDs for the lights on the top of it, with a mirror reflecting them onto the monitor, which displays your ball, flippers, and the field's targets. It's a very cool looking effect that would undoubtedly be a lot more impressive in person. It probably helps that there's a black light installed in the cabinet, just to make things even trippier.


I like to think that everything in the 70's sounded like this game.

Eventually Atari made a dedicated home game of Video Pinball, but it was more like Breakout than anything else. Except with less breaking. And less pinball. And maybe less out too.


I'm too focused on this guy's awesome Jeff Mangum haircut to make a comment about the actual game.

However, in 1980, Atari finally "converted" Video Pinball to a home platform successfully. I say that in quotes because aside from the name, it doesn't have much to do with the coin-op original. Sadly, the crazy black light disco theme was sacrificed among other things such as drop targets and an actually round ball (circles cost a lot in the 80's), but most of the game's general ideas were still there. So how did they do? About this well.

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Insert joke about the game having blue balls here.

It doesn't look terribly impressive, but keep in mind that prior pinball games looked like this.

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Quick, knock that mouthless Pac-Man into those checkerboards before you fall between those mailbox flags!

So yeah, Video Pinball holds the strength of at least trying to look like a pinball table and not just modern art of one. It's also not half-bad in the play department. The rules are incredibly simple. Launch the ball, hit it every which way, and go through that Atari rollover 4 times for an extra ball. My only complaints are that moving the joystick to each side for flipper is a big strange, and the ball seems as if it's made of rubber rather than steel, but hey, it's not a bad pinball game at all for the 2600. It's pretty common, so you won't have trouble finding it at all. I'd personally rather play Midnight Magic, which is Atari's much more refined pinball game from 1984 (but shelved until 1987 due to the market crash) over this, but if you find it anywhere and don't already have it, I'd recommend buying it. It's a pretty nice pinball game for the time, and a good way to kill about 15 minutes.

HerrVarden's Alternate-Universe Lair - Varden's Vonderful Vonderings #6 - I've Never Been This East Before!

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So for about two weeks or so, I had managed to vanish off the face of the internet, leaving YouChew with a blog and a review. During my absence I had gone from my comfortable house in Canada to an airplane flying me all the way to Europe and finally landing Frankfurt, whereupon I would be on another flight that would start my trip of eastern Europe. I was with a whole bunch of classmates and two teachers who were basically there to be in charge of us because you're not just gonna send a bunch of teenagers with lots of money into Europe alone now are ya? As an apology of being gone and leaving you all in the dark on the where and what of my situation, I'm gonna tell some stuff here and let you know a little more about my adventure.

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First, I was in the pearl of the Adriatic sea, Dubrovnik. Dubrovnik was founded some time in the 7th century, and it's name means "wood of oak trees", due to all the trees it had. It's patron saint is Saint Blaise, whom if you see, will always hold the city of Dubrovnik on his left hand. Dubr-oh...erm, sorry. It was a History trip and I was pretty much writing down a whole lot of interesting tidbits. I don't even take history, but one of the teachers recommended it to me and I figured why not go to all these places. Anyways, you don't really want to hear me blather on about that kind of thing, so I'll talk about experiences. Well, let's see, we went to see the old part of Dubrovnik, which still shows signs of it being affected by the Yugoslavian war. Most of the time when you saw cracks or holes, it was either from bullets or explosives. We went up on the wall, and it had a wonderful view of the inner city, the outer city and the ocean too. It's a very lovely city and I managed to make a considerable effort to speak Croatian since I had a travel translation book with me. Which by the way, I learned that travel translation books only help in general ways, not specific ones. It's sometimes better if you just ask "Do you speak English?" in the language rather than try to speak in the language. But still, I had a good time, and I was able to do some Croatian folk dancing too. I'd love to visit the country again or at re-visit Dubrovink. It's a very quaint, relaxed little place.
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Along the trip, there were a lot of mini-stops, and one of them was Mostar. As you can see in the picture above, we were at a bridge. This bridge by the way was rebuilt due to the Croatians destroying it. Yeah, one thing that I found while being in Croatia and Bosnia is that aside of the effects of Yugoslavian conflict still being a very fresh subject, there's quite some tension involving it. From what I was told I tried to think of it as the Croatians don't like the Montenegros and the Serbians, the Bosnians don't like the Croatians and the Serbians don't like the Croatians or the Bosnians, but it gets more complicated than that, especially when you add the other countries that used to be Yugoslavia as well as the president of Yugoslavia, nationalism and the fact that Bosnians go Croatia to find work because of a high double-digit unemployment percentage. 52% to be exact. Actually, Bosnian politics gets all kinds of fucked up when you consider they have three "presidents" which each represent the ethnicities in the nation along with 257 political parties which each have at least one seat in parliament. But yeah aside of that bridge, some reminders of the incident in '93 and some interesting souvenirs made out of bullets, Mostar didn't have much.

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Sarajevo was probably the city I liked the least. Don't get me wrong, it was a nice city, and I managed to fit in a lot better than the others. The Bosnians speak the same language as the Croatians, just with some certain changes. Also don't say to the countries that used to be part of Yugoslavia that they speak the same language. I didn't say that to one, but it's just something to keep in mind. That and the sights weren't bad. Here I saw the fountain of Sebilj (I thought it was spelled Sabille, welp), a mosque built by Husref Bey, the Tunnel of Hope, Sniper Alley, the street where Franz Ferdinand got shot and a lot of Sarajevo roses. What are those, you may ask? Well, they're these delightful little holes filled with red plastic that tell to you that where you stand, there once was a massacre which took place. The most outrageous story was the Sarajevo rose near the Sacred Heart Church which was a massacre that took place on Xmas Eve of '94. And right where the Sarajevo rose is, a nun and two children where standing, just about to be blown to bits by a shell. Anyways, the reason I wasn't too fond of Sarajevo was that there isn't much else but shops, bazaars and gypsies. At least, in the place we were in, but there isn't much interesting things to do there, unless you feel like throwing your money away.

Speaking of which I spent 40 euros on a wooden box. Basically I was trying to look for some Bosnian dice and I came across this little store. I looked around and I didn't see any dice. I saw boxes which I assumed had a game in it with some unique dice, but no. The owner was trying to sell me two boxes and making a deal with it but I was refusing. As soon as I was about to leave, the owner blocks the entrance. Not in a very aggressive way, mind you, but I was in a bit of a rush so I just told him I'd pay for one of the boxes for 30 euros. I only had two 20 euro bills, and I just gave him that. I left and he didn't bother to give me change, and it was only later I realized that I threw away $60 on a box. But hey I made the guy happy, unlike the gypsy I gave two pieces of bread. That occurred while we had prepaid dinner at a restaurant courtesy of the teachers. I noticed a gypsy with her two children begging and I figured that at the very least I could give her a piece of bread. After all, it's usually good to give poor people food. Plus I left my wallet in my hotel...anyways, I give her the piece and she asks for more. I assume it's for the children so I give another piece. But she still keeps asking. Eventually she stops, but her little boy keeps insisting that I give him a kebab. I felt very weird about all this and I went back in. I'll at least give the gypsy the benefit of the doubt because she did eventually stop, but that little kid was still outside of the restaurant, as if I was going to give him the kebab. Worse off, from what I was told by other classmates, that kid was being quite aggressive, even going so far to almost take one of the girl's purses. So yeah, there you go.

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Here, we came across another mini-stop. This is the capital of Croatia, Zagreb. Not much really to see aside from the church...or at least that's all that we saw. By the way, that church is called the Church of the Assumption Of The Blessed Virgin Mary. Here I was trying to see if I could find that ceramic doll I missed. Sadly I did not. Not much else, but hey look at that bitchin' photo.

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Aside from Dubrovnik, I'd have to say that Vienna was a very nice city to be in as well. It did certainly help that the kind of things I saw, did and got were fucking awesome. For starters, we saw the Belvedere, the Schonbrunn Palace, Albertina, the famous opera house, a Mozart monument and a lot of famous graves. We also went to a concert, where they were mostly playing Strauss, with some Mozart thrown in for good measure. In intermission, we were able to drink champagne! I felt so damn fancy, I almost wish I brought a nice suit, a monocle and a pocket watch to me for this. By far the best part of the concert was hearing O Mio Babbino Cara live. It is so damn angelic that I swear to god almighty and the heavens above I cried tears of joy hearing the singer serenade us with such docile tones. The tour guide was a fellow by the name of Gerhard and he was by far the best one. He was pretty funny and had a very approachable attitude to him. In the free time I managed to go to an area in Vienna which was basically filled with antiques. In there I found this place which was just filled with all sorts of stuff. I went in to buy a Soviet ring that cost 110 euros, but as soon as I noticed the visor cap and a medal, I got that, which was basically the same price. The owner was pretty cool too, he was a sort of gruff looking fella, but he was real nice and he got my hat down with a sword, which I think is pretty cool. In Vienna I also managed to find a Gustav Klimt exhibition, which was rad on it's own and I saw a Kurdish demonstration take place. Also famous musicians advertise chocolatethere and it still doesn't stop making me laugh. It was quite fun-packed.

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We went to a train from Vienna to Krakow, which was odd. Not because of being on a train but because we waited for a hour or so at night for our sleeping cars, and in the sitting car I was there was this old lady who had terrible foot odor. Once getting our sleeping cars, I had one of those "not sure if I actually went to sleep" kind of sleep. But we came up to Krakow, thank god. Poland for the most part was quite solemn, but I think Krakow and the city below did do enough to not be too solemn. I mean you have to remember that this place was decimated by the Nazis, and they do talk about the effects the war had on Poland on the tour. Plus we did see the original factory that Schindler owned, which is now a museum. It was powerful to see such a building stand, along with the plaque with the famous saying "whoever saves one life, saves the world entire". There was also the Iron Chairs memorial which represents how the Jews thought they were going to labor camps so they brought all they could and went to the square, later being told to leave their belongings there and ending up going to concentration camps. Aside from, there was the Wawel Castle, a church and a large square. In the square there were a bunch of street performers and I happened to go into a Hard Rock Cafe to have some wings, a Long Island Ice Tea as well as seeing a trumpet owned by Miles Davis. I also managed to get lost in Krakow, finding myself in a more urban, less touristy area of the city. Don't worry, I found it nice and happened to call a cab back to the hotel. Though I feel like if I had better prepared myself, the city would have been better to see. Though nothing prepared me for that fresh pool of blood I saw when we came off the train and went to the bus. There wasn't even a body or blood marks of the body being moved. Just a pool of blood out of nowhere. Yeesh.
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Along with Krakow, we went to Wieliczka, which is home to an old and humongous salt mine. It's a thing of pure glory because you'll see a whole bunch of structures that are built entirely out of the salt. More impressive was seeing the church, especially with the attention to detail and the salt crystal chandeliers. It's just insane.

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As for the more solemn part of Poland, we have Oswiecim, which is home to the infamous Auschwitz. We went to a part that was converted into a museum and Birkenau which is the one that you usually see in all the movies. It's chilling to be there, and I really can't think of anything else to say about it that hasn't been said already.

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In Prague we made a sort of mini-stop, and I say sort of because we had a hotel reserved there. It was basically a drive-by tour (not literally) which had all the sights but none of the juicy substance. Which is a shame because it was a gorgeous city. There wasn't much to say here other than the owner of a souvenir shop I went to figured out that I spoke Spanish so we spent a good while shit-talking the Venezuelan government. Which wasn't the first time on the trip I got some delightful interaction from the locals due to my roots. In Krakow, as I was walking down the street there was a Polish guy who was making a bizarre face. As soon as I noticed him, he stopped, and said something in Polish about me being Venezuelan and patted me on my back as he went to talk to his friend. Nice guy, mostly because he was close to me and didn't end up stealing anything. Not that he would or anything...erm...the only other note from Prague is that they love Thai massages. In every corner I saw a Thai massage parlor. It was weird as hell.

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Dresden became the last mini-stop we had, and the only thing we say of real note was this giant gaudy Protestant church. At first you'd think it's Catholic or something because Protestants don't usually like to show off or look all this illustrious, but when you see that organ in front, you know that it's Protestant. In there was also a burnt cross from the old church that was destroyed in WWII. I tried to find hassenpheffer and a DVD that had Gert Frobe in Germany, but I had not such luck. But in Dresden I did come across a restaurant with a Canadian theme called Ontario. It had some of the typical Canadian cuisine and it kind of had the vibe of Canada too, but the burger I got didn't really look Canadian. It was delicious as hell,though. Oddly I saw some ads in the German airports that were like "Come to Ontario for your next big breakthrough" which makes me wonder if the Germans seem to be really infatuated with the province or if Ontario suddenly got the deutsch-loving bug. Either way, it was nice to be there.

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Finally, we came across Berlin, with it's Reichstag, Brandenburg Gate, TV Tower, parts of the Berlin Wall (which they try to scam you with in the gift shops. "Take home with you a real part of the Berlin wall" my ass) and a few buildings that are still from WWII. Not only that but there were a lot of memorials. Jewish memorials, a Romani memorial, hell there was even a memorial for the 98 members of the Reichstag that were killed by the Nazis just outside the building. I figured out that German people only half-abide to the serious stereotype. As in half the Germans I saw were stone-faced while the others were just your typical fun-loving goofballs. Also that effective stereotype is also half-right. I mean the plane I went on was Lufthansa and it was perhaps one of the greatest flights I had, but then you notice certain things (either by yourself or because the guide tells you) which aren't exactly what you'd expect. But that whole "don't talk about Nazis" thing? 100% true. The government was pretty clever about it too, I think. People would have been bitching that not saying anything about Nazis would be oppression of freedom of speech but since fascism is a crime against humanity and such crimes repress freedom of speech, mentioning Nazis would be going in contrast with that. Obviously there's a lot more subtleties to it, especially when you get with mentioning Nazis in the media, but it's not advisible to seig heil there lest you have 5000 euros you want to throw away. Once again, it was a fantastic place to be in and I find it so funny that where Hitler's bunker once stood, there's a parking lot.

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So that's all I can pretty much say. I'll be posting other pictures of my trip on my Tumblr under this tag in the coming days because photo limits are a bitch and I also have some silly videos that I took there. As for future projects, I got a lot, but I'm still dazed by jet-lag and real life to try and construct what I see ahead. Bye for now!

Suds Makes a Game - A Long Delayed Game Update

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Yikes. It's been over a month since I've updated this thing. I mean, it's not because I haven't been working on the game, because I have been making pretty decent progress. I'm just not really that much of a writer, and I have a tendency to forget to do shit.

Well anyway, I've added a good amount of new features to the game, though honestly that isn't saying much since the game beforehand was nothing but stars. It now even has some form of gameplay if you can call flying a ship around and shooting at nothing "gameplay." These new features are;

Intro and Title Screen:
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The game now begins with the "Space Nuts" text slowly zooming in, while the same stars move about in the background. On the title screen, the buttons can be controlled using both the arrow keys and the mouse. However, only the play and quit button work at the moment.

Ship Customization:
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You can now customize your ship by selecting which body, weapon, and engine you want. As of now, there's only two of each part, but more are planned in the future. The up and down keys select the part category, and the left and right keys select the specific parts in that category.

Ship Acceleration and Moving Background:
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To add a sense of depth to the game, as well as to make it seem less dull, I added a randomly generated background of stars that move in the opposite direction and at a reduced speed. The ship now accelerates and decelerates as well, in order to make the movement less stiff.

That's basically all that I got so far. A few things that I plan to add soon include:
  • Ship statistics, including health, speed, damage, and fire rate
  • A working menu button
  • A larger window, as well as the ability to change the window size
  • Enemies
If you'd like to try out the game, you can download it here. You use the arrow keys to move, Q and E to rotate, S to shoot, and escape to return to the title screen.

Comments and criticisms are always welcome, so feel free to let me know what you think!

Spongey's Blog - Ten Recommended Poops of March 2014

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Yep. It's April Fools and it's time for ten more poops that should be given a look to. But I'm not fooling around when I say that March was a pretty lame month in terms of "poop" or at least to me. But I did manage to find ten poops I think are worth watching.


1. NO IT'S NINE - Thapoint09


2. YTP: Wow, TAF Another CD-i Poop? - Theadventuretimefan


3. Youtube poop: The cereal killer Karinkle - zulok1337


4. Hedgehog in the Gobbler: Robotnik got a Job at the Back - Nineroe


5. Gert ontdekt de laatste neanderthaler in zijn kom soep - ZwartAdder


6. YTP - Constipated Video Game Nerd gets explosive DIARRHEA - Gab H.


7. And you thought maybe we should take him to Doctor Max - ImmaCornflakes


8. ASTOUNDING UNITED STATES - KlausTheWizard


9. Fred Phelps' hellbound potty mouth - cantflyman


10. A YTP that I didn't bother to finish after so many delays - AGSMA, Just AGSMA

GOD HATES KERMIT

I'm supposed to put something here!? - 2600 Showcase: Deliverance: The Game

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I'm just as surprised and baffled by this as you are. It was recently discovered that Wizard Video, makers of the infamous Halloween and Texas Chainsaw Massacre games for the 2600 had actually made a prototype based on the also-infamous redneck rapist movie Deliverance. At first, this was just considered a hoax, but a few hours ago, a programmer found a prototype of the game in his basement and posted the ROM online for all to view. So, I've taken the liberty of examining it for all to view here, given it's just to awesome to miss. This is an even better adaptation than Parker Brothers' smashing Breakfast at Tiffany's game!

The game immediately presents a pretty decent title screen when you start up, showing a banjo in front of a river background.

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After pressing the fire button, you're immediately taken to the first screen, where you control Burt Reynolds as he floats down the Cahulawassee river.

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This screen seems incomplete, since there's not much to do or any obstacles to avoid, but as soon as you hit fire again, the screen immediately changes. The fire trick was likely left in as a testing function. The next screen is the iconic "Dueling Banjos" scene.

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The goal here is to outplay your opponent by moving the joystick to play more notes than him. It's pretty fun, and may be the very first rhythm game ever. Once you hit 401 notes, you're taken to the "final boss" of the game. In this screen you play as Jon Voight, who must kill the last hillbilly with his bow. It's harder than it sounds, due to the hillbilly moving fast, but if you win, you get one of the most violent Atari screens ever.

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In the movie, this is a much more morally ambiguous scene, due to Voight's character accidentally shooting an innocent, but the programmer said they had trouble programming emotional tension functions onto the cartridge, so it was made strictly black and white (morality, that is.) After this screen, the game loops and gets even harder.

Despite the fact that it's an extremely short game, it would have single-handedly stopped the Game Crash of 1983 from happening. The game proves that video games are art, that there is a god, and that true love exists. Hell, it's like Spec Ops: The Line. You could watch the movie it's directly inspired by, but in comparison, the movie is a pile of shit that little to no effort was spent on. Obviously this was rendered by superior beings use plebeians would never understand. It is a true testament to the creation of mankind, and mankind's gullibility on April Fool's Day.

The Radical Cyber Fringe - A Look At: Keitai Denjuu Telefang - The Other Other Other Mon Game.

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Imagine, if you can, the year 2000. Pokemon, Digimon, and I guess Monster Rancher were teaching us the joys of enslaving befriending and engaging in bloodsports competing with cute critters for fun and profit. In the midst of this mon-madness, tiny software developer Smilesoft threw their own monster-battler-RPG hat into the ring with Keitai Denjuu Telefang (In Power and Speed versions) for the Gameboy Color, their first ever game. The Telefang games were never intended to leave Japan, but Chinese bootleggers, no doubt seeking to capitalize on the recent release of Pokemon Gold and Silver, butchered them with machine translation and repackaged them as Pokemon Diamond (heh) and Pokemon Jade, most of which ended up on eBay. Even though the games weren't a tremendous success in Japan and arrived on western shores a broken shamble, the series gathered a small following, a following that eventually produced a proper English fan translation! Now that the world of Telefang can be seen through a clearer, non-Engrish lens, let me tell you...it's weird, and I love it.

With that bit of history out of the way, let me try to hopelessly explain how the bizarre world of Telefang works.

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Keitai Denjuu Telefang literally translates to "Mobile Phone Beast Telefang" or something to that effect, and the Denjuu are the proverbial Mons. As the title implies, cellphones play a central role in the setting, in fact, the player doesn't capture Denjuu, they...exchange phone numbers with them. The Denjuu don't exactly coexist with Humans, they live in a parallel universe that connects to ours via "antenna trees" whose interdimensional gateway can only be crossed by those lucky enough to own a "D-shot", which for all the world looks like a comically outdated flip-cover cellphone. No this will never make any more sense.

As far as actual gameplay is concerned, only one Denjuu is ever a permanent member of the player's party, any others you've made friends with have to be called into battle, and depending on where they're from and what their personality is, they may show up late, or get lost and never even fucking show up at all. When they do manage to get their ass into a fight, they sometimes attack using whatever move they please, or don't attack at all, again depending on their personality.

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Despite all that, the battles are still interesting and actually ahead of the curve in a lot of ways, such as allowing 3-on-3 fights. The combat isn't turn based like you might expect, Denjuu with a higher speed stat can strike multiple times before a slower opponent even makes one move. Combine that with the surprisingly complicated evolution chains and not to mention weird as hell designs that the Denjuu have, and it all comes together into a pretty solid little RPG that flew under pretty much every radar imaginable.


I'm sure you clever folks can find a ROM of it someplace if it strikes your monster collectin' fancies, just remember to grab the Translation Patch.

'til the next weird game, enjoy this badass fanart of the coolest Denjuu of all, Easydog

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SO's Blog - Movement Picture Associations.com: Approve All Age Up!

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Ready explore wonderful website filled with unique interesting television program love by all age? MovementPictureAssociations.com be place for you! Picture show been approve for all age up! Here some of wonderful programming we offer (Bing Translate do all work for write descriptions):

The Office:
Jim and PAM started dating Katie. Michael Ryan glowing review checkpoints. Start always do their business interests and Michael · Ryan said: Ryan is that it teaches 10 business rules. Bring fire alarms and Dwight and Angela (Angela King race) voices from Michael and the others tried to push off, he escapes the building evacuated.

When people play games to pass the time, and are standing on a deserted island, and someone on the selection ', Ryan said, he attended business school in the evening, new discoveries to his students, Michael became hooked. Dwight · jealousy against Michael, Ryan and he was in his car, Michael · when I saw the pouting REM "everybody hurts" tone, mobile office, Dwight · put it back into the building.

Michael · ask Ryan to call his cell phone, Dwight · Describes. The phone rang. This is Michael's pocket. Dehuaite·Hui cough and fire in the toaster the toaster ' instead of ' apparently started by Ryan out of the building, leaving the cheese in a PITA. Dwight and Michael · Ryan, then mocked dubbed him the burning man Billy Joel imitation song "we didn't start the fire".

In October, as the information that his 1 month ago it was some Michael · Must be closed. Halloween shidifu Scott · Last day of karuier month) had no one been waiting for. During this period, jimuhaerpeite (John-kelaxinsiji), Dwight · as (Jenna Fischer) · Schrute (Rainn Wilson) résumé, when the Internet and the employer called seems Michael · Jim and Dwight and many references. The company kanbolanmiersi, shidehuaite interview, Dwight · When you set up the call was the opportunity to destroy its meaning and importance of the mixed martial arts the dispute quickly. One day, pamujimu later comes to kanbolanmiersi. Jim is he didn't miss injured Pam quietly, if he leaves his proposal.

Michael · He (and his own plays a fictionalized version of creed Bratton) after several other failed, employees will trigger the phone in his Office creed Bratton (Tuesday). Belief in this doctrine, Devon (Devon Joel) Michael again. After trying to save their friendship and Michael and Devon, Devon Michael crazy, trying to invite the most with him in the Office (except for Michael's creed all Dwight and Angela () is a local bar. Jim left the Pam pushed he deplored in Cumberland, the acceptance of the job, she asked him to "put a bullet in the head", if you let him. Pam is a display window, even the gym. When you broke when you leave the Group Office more pumpkin in Devon Michaels car revenge.

Launched at the end of the episode Devon TV Michael alone at home or not, he is. Michael gave them candy when trick and cheerful and generous.

CSI: Crime Scene Investigated:
Now, who's brought to her in a convenience store in a white van with her sister and a 13 year old girl. CSI to check her room looks on the human body science fair project. They searched her computer and her company donation website for more information. They want to know about her younger brother, so he gets a bloody nose, and only city. Then, her sister, and he did not know why they are accusing her of something. Then questioned her hold, and he said: it keeps track of all humans. He gives you a picture of them, and they went to his address. Them as much as possible from his bed, pink lingerie and underwear found in his home. That phone, you can find the photos. They arrested him, put him in jail. They requested that as soon as her body was found in a corn field in the trunk of the car. Headquarters they found her body, her waist. They found that the location of her house, and rice. They questioned his car and return to the parents too. Grissom returns to the April's brother when he all of a sudden nosebleed patients with leukemia is one thing. Nosebleeds. The medicine cabinet, how many eggs to different drugs to treat leukemia. They asked brother found only him and her ass twice in the bone marrow donation. X-ray checks on them, and found it to be a small pinhole in her ass, again at the headquarters of the bone marrow. it's been a long time, as if it was a miracle she is alive once, twice, to consider the bone marrow. They have to daily calcium supplements. Rear camera bracket tag match has been found, they just shot dad car trunk "they killed her, and asked her parents. Her mother gave her the wrong medicine and slowly brought her her blood that led her to kill a blanket. Until her dad, I find the drop location, throwing her in the trunk. Corn, they drove old cars, dumped her body in the trunk of a car and release. Then go to the Church and her brother, Daniel · Grissom. He killed her because she won't take any more pain, he said. Gleeson said: false, reply Daniel Gleason did not believe in God, he said.

Pocket Monsters: The Animation
First episode he made known to all the central characters, he met with Ku e-Po's main goals. At first, he is a bit of a car every month, his rival, Gary oak, ash, he suggested, Bao Ku e-master, in fact, was charged in his journey many Tai Po Ku ku é é. And most different of teachers in Gulf, actually, Ku é Po Po red, and green and blue and Ku é Monday firered/leafgreen play players grey rich Shi da ne GI human rights didn't began he and lizard or GA Ni Ze of journey I, he is late Professor Oak wood to Shi in he laboratory beginners Po Ku é-except and not only receives, did playing in left, Ku é oak wood Po in Po Ku é prom ash, Pikachu Po Ku é considered he of partner learned keep security of Re-o NI Su Zu has won a bunch of Pikachu's trust me he was very angry.
Since the ashes series of all five core games, liver in the Orange Islands, he said, after his release until it appeared in the Golden and silver is located at Tai Po in the real world, visited Ku Ji Ho u é to turn his journey began. Personally, he was elite in its coat of arms, Jim Po Ku card reader/e Alliance core game in the fight game as a coach in series 4 and 5 instead of battle of the Warriors twice for direct competition. He continued said: Walsh in Po Ku é let of strategy of first times travel, he with party of process, they should can to do because he hopes this months of travel, and taught they head Dayton Yen Po Ku using only é, and he captured Pikachu provinces, except struggle of led and in dawn Shi, he explained said, he proved, youth do not development é met Po Ku Dang he tries to has a new of Earth, you on can win.
Series, in which tourists he showed they have a lot of people with his friends, he would support him in his journey to Earth. Fog in the game, his original series, Brock gym leader of Kanto/u Kat to Tin city Xinyu yen and three cities whirring Jim card readers. Tracy zoning – amateur Bao Ku during his journey of the Orange Islands é observed he would be a hero to his Associate Professor Oak, ash returns to the concubine of the law do not vote. 5. dawn, Cody, and diamond and Pearl series, each beginner and advanced g; he is a mentor, such as hydrogen, top 5, he was foggy and younger brother Jae ku, so look for advanced next generation e series has a duration. Greeting visitors to grayscale fills Clemont Cilan Hong Kong family, his sister, Bonnie, and ash gray's childhood friend Serena XY series. Max, Bonnie, too young to have her younger brother Ku e-Po, but take care of Dedenne.

The Boom-Boom Turtle Sunnabitch starring Crispy Cleggnuggets For All and Many More - Sweet Trip: velocity : design : comfort [REVIEW]

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The following are prerequisite albums required to be able to listen to velocity : design : comfort.

Posted Image Aphex Twin - Richard D James Album
Autechre - LP5
Posted Image My Bloody Valentine - Loveless

To understand velocity : design : comfort, these albums are essentials. Without them, velocity will give you a migraine in the first 2 minutes. The sounds will just be too alien to process. For this is a IDM/Shoegaze hybrid album.

If, by any chance, you're familiar with the wide-eyed glitch madness of Richard D James Album, the efficient combination of glitch and melody of LP5, or the beautiful formless guitar washes of Loveless, congratulations! You might just stand a chance.

There's a reason this album is so obscure; it sounds like it's actively trying to stop you from listening to it. For every fragment of guitar or vocal, there's about 5 separate shuddering synthesizers trying to prevent you from hearing it clearly (particularly in the opening track). That's pretty much the norm for the entire 73 minutes. It's a taxing listen, especially if you're a headphone user.

But I'm reviewing this for a reason. If you manage to parse out the clicks and cuts enough to hear the actual songs, you get rewarded a thousand times over. This is one of the most stunningly vivid listening experiences you'll ever know. Once you get used to the jarring beats, it start making sense: the level of detail put into these tracks is near limitless. It's like holding a mirror up to a mirror, then holding a candle inbetween and watching it stretch on for infinity.

I could gush about this album for infinity. I'll keep it short: every song is intensely emotive, but two in particular stand out: Fruitcake And Cookies builds to the kind of climax that could make classical composers reconsider their choice of genre. Chocolate Matter is the most accessible track, and the most beginner friendly (and the most similar to MBV's Only Shallow). It may seem breezy and beautiful at first, but beware: the chorus is a fucking monster.

In short, Sweet Trip have two out of three. This album is a pinnacle of velocity and of design; it's not a comfortable listen. It can get pretty painful at times, and if you listen to it in a noisy environment, it mostly just sounds messy and pointless. But if you give it your full attention for long enough, you'll hear the urgency, the sexuality, the emotion, the virtuosity. velocity : design : comfort is the kind of album some people go their whole lives without ever hearing the likes of. It's a love letter to sound itself.

[5/5]
[STRONG RECOMMENDATION]

SO's Blog - The Manliest Show on TV: Property Brothers

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This blog entry is for the manliest men of the world. Those who are into wrestling grizzly bears, muscle cars, and rock and roll. Now as a man, especially in this day and age of "wussification," it is very hard to find ways to entertain yourself. And you can't watch the manly sport of football anymore, especially with their recent, wussification rule changes promoting softness. I didn't realize this was the National Touch Football League! But there is one good show left for men on television, and I am of a course talking about Property Brothers.

What is Property Brothers? Well, its certainly not like those girls little shows you people watch. It's not for kids like My Little Pony and anime, and its not girly like the Walking Dead, where all they do is talk about their feelings of distrust for each other. Instead, Property Brothers is about two dudes getting sweaty and repairing homes. The shows main characters are brothers! It's not called Property Sisters or Property Transgender Siblings. It's Property BROTHERS. The show focuses on these two bros named Drew Scott and Jonathan Silver Scott. They go house to house and do a hard days work full of back breaking labor. There are willing to help anyone, no matter how wimpy they are. In the epsiode "Rundown Renovation," the Property Bros have to help Julie (the woman responsible for making men's meals AKA the wife) and Peter, who are hoping to find a sprawling dream home where they can put down roots. They've got a long wish list and a limited budget and just two months to make it happen! The Property Brothers race against the clock to help Julie and Peter find a house for this new family to call home. During the epsidoe, the Property Brothers do a lot of manly things during the renovation. They smash stuff, hammer nails, get sweaty, and hang out with their crew of men to do some quality bounding. After many days of back breaking labor they create the ultimate house. It's equipped with everything a man could ever need. There's a walk in bath tub, which he can use to relax after a hard days work at his beauty shop, there's a man cave/study room, filled with many classic pieces of literature such as Moby Dick and Little Women. There's even a poster of Earnest Hemingway hanging in the room! The Property Brothers are true men in a day and age where war is somehow considered wrong, and not manly. Hell, we can't even wrestle bears anymore because that's "animal cruelty." So in conclusion, watch the Property Brothers and you'll feel like a true man in no time.

Dark Fox does Nuzlocke! - The Crystal Saga: Episode 1 (is anything happening?)

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TIME TO NOT BE CASUAL SCUM.

I'm gonna do a Nuzlocke on my iPhone now. Probably not because Darkie did one & now I want to, but probably because it's interesting content to keep us busy. The first Nuzlocke is gonna be of Pokemon Crystal. So, I should probably go over some rules.

1: If a Pokemon in my party faints, it dies. I gotta put it in the dead box on the PC.

2: I can only catch the first mon I see on each route. What counts is
  • Each individual numbered route.
  • Sprout Tower.
  • Ilex Forest.
  • National Park (bug catching contest).
  • Burned Tower.
  • Mt. Mortar.
  • Lake of Rage (shiny Gyrados forbidden).
  • Ice Path.
  • Dragon's Den.
  • Victory Road.
  • All other Kanto routes will be discussed later.
2a: Second-gen clause: The rule starts after I actually get Pokeballs, since I can only obtain them after I go two routes & back.
2b: Dual-Species clause: If the first mon in a route is in the same evo-line as a Pokemon I've caught before, I may disregard that mon & consider whichever unique species that comes up next as the first mon I may catch.
2c: Self-destruct clause: If the first mon in a route blows itself up, that doesn't count because fuck those guys.
2d: HM clause: If, for some reason, I have no mon that can perform a necessary HM move to progress, I can catch one, do whatever HMing that needs to be done, then toss it away.
2e: Shiny clause: If I see a shiny, I catch a shiny. If it's not the first of a route, the shiny may replace any mon in my box, which will then go into the dead box, or the shiny will go into the dead box itself.
2f: Suicune clause: If I see one of the Legendary dogs as the first of a route, I can ignore it.

3: Pokemon must be given a nickname for emotional bond purposes.

4: If I blackout, I lose forever.

5: I may farm exp in tall grass... without overdoing it.

6: Trades are not allowed. Gifted Pokemon are.

7: I may only use each PokeCenter/party healer ONCE IN THE ENTIRE RUN. It was originally going to be no use at all, but I figured that if I was going to Kanto, that may get a bit too difficult.
7a: I can't avoid automatic healers. So... no choice there.

8: Legendaries must die or be skipped.


Here we go.


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You know who I am.


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NO.


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Guess who my starter is?

Growing up with the actual games, I always either had Totodile or Chikorita. Now I'm actually gonna pick the fire type everyone likes too much.


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Adventure Time reference get!

Alright, time to go on a journey without Pokeballs. All Pokemon between now and the time I get some Pokeballs will be fought & beaten, not shown in pictures.


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The first time around this Pokemon center, I'm not going to use it, because I can only do so once this run...

but I did go to the mart and get four extra potions for survival purposes. I did pick up a bunch of berries, too.


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Thx.


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Time to reset the days without a disaster counter to zero.

At this point, I started training FP a bit & used a potion & a few berries. I hit level 9 before I headed towards rival battle #1.


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Douche.


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#rekt

But no, his little alligator did a good number on me by managing to hit me with a leer and three tackles, even after I smokescreened him. The game gave me a free heal after the battle, but I went ahead and ran back to the crime scene.


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Cheap bastard.
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IKR?

Time to name that ??? guy. But how?


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This will probably end up not being funny.


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Meh. I hope it gets better later.


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We'll stop here for today. I promise it will get better when I actually throw my balls at the mons. I just wanted to throw myself into the good part before entry #2. Each entry from here on out will cover a chunk of the game, usually the spread from one gym to another or less. Statuses will be posted at the end of each entry as well.


BADGES: 0
DEATHS: 0
CAUGHT POKEMON: 1

Current Party:
F Princess the lvl 10 Cyndaquil.

PKMN Centers nearby:
New Bark: Unused.
Cherrygrove: Unused.

Dark Fox does Nuzlocke! - The Crystal Saga: Episode 2 (what's my name?)

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Rules pertaining to this run may be found in Episode 1.


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MOM NO I DON'T WANT SEXUAL FAVORS.


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Oh.

Anyways, continuing from part one, I had just left the lab with level 10 F Princess and a bunch of Pokeballs. Time to go see what my first catch on Route 29 is!


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IT'S PIKACHU!


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GODDAMMIT oh wait, I caught it. I'd rather have a Pidgey, but let's see what a Sentret can do.


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Furretta was the name of my guinea pig way back then. Therefore, the Sentret is now Furretta.

I skip going back and using the healing station in the lab because I might want it later for when I come back with eight gym badges. I proceed to train F Princess another level, then going to see what I can catch on Route 30.

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Okay.

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I was afraid of tackling the bug to death, so I threw a ball in the green. Failure.

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Stay down.


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Which one of you Weedles is ready for an ass-whooping?

I trained my two mons up a bit, but then F Princess got poisoned. Everyone was already weak, so I decided to use the PKMN center in Cherrygrove.

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NO.

And then I trained, and proceeded forward.

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WHO'S THIS SHITLORD?

I ended up beating him and the next kid.


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LVL 5 CATERPIE 2 STRUNK.

In my flurry, I stepped into Route 31 and almost forgot that I could catch another mon. And the first thing that appeared was...


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Cool. I mean, Hoppip has no offensive capabilities, but it has synthesis, so it can survive longer.


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I have no power level and I must scream.


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Yeah. I'm kinda glad that the low-level birds in this game don't know gust. We might've had to bury Soldier early. The further we go, the less likely we'll see 1 HP hang-ons.

There's very little to do in Violet City, save for the gym, so it was straight to Sprout Tower. My first encounter was...


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Predictable.


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This Rattata has a high attack stat. It hit F Princess hard during the struggle.


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Twitch Plays Pokemon? More like FUCK YOU.


I trained every member in the party that could still hang in there, then I decided to use the PKMN center in the town, pre-gym. I had to now, because I hadn't enough cash from trainers to buy potions.

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Party pop: 5.


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HANG IN THERE KITTY, THOSE INEFFECTIVE VINE WHIPS WON'T BRING YOU DOWN!


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Worth it.


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I, truthfully, had way too many close calls in Sprout Tower. This was the result of an unexpected crit. Those who were too injured were placed in front, then swapped out to gain a bit of exp to catch up.


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TOLD YA IT WOULD BE FUNNY.


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Only the vegetable may illuminate the darkness.

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This happened after I got the HM Flash. I trained F Princess to level 14 and NotJayLeno to level 8 to be somewhat even with everyone else.


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I fear death. So before I went into the gym, I bought these and an antidote. I wasted one on Furretta just to bite down a Spearow, and properly used another on NotJayLeno to take down the trainer before Falkner.


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Now I am become death. I only used F Princess in this fight, because everyone else is still too weak.


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Victoly. Nothing much to it. Pidgeotto took two embers, so I might need an ether for that soon. After the fight, I headed left and noticed Route 36. I could've nabbed a free mon now, but I could also wait for Sudawoodo, or another higher level player, so I decided to pass on that. I got a call from the Professor to go back to the PKMN center that I'm not allowed to use. Great.


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No thx lol.

I ended up taking the egg, because I'm allowed to. I didn't mention the Ruins of Alph in the intro, but they're coming up, along with two caves before I hit Bugsy's gym. I think there's one or two routes between now and then, so I can get a couple of extra groupies, but I'll have to see. My team is kind of under-leveled, bar the starter, so I'm debating either going back a route and preying on the innocent, or marching on?



BADGES: 1
DEATHS: 0
CAUGHT POKEMON: 5 + Egg

Current Party:
F Princess the lvl 14 Quilava.
Furretta the lvl 8 Sentret.
Soldier the lvl 8 Metapod.
Raditz the lvl 8 Hoppip.
NotJayLeno the lvl 8 Rattata.
Some super secret surprise egg oh god I hope it's like a Togepi or something.

PKMN Centers nearby:
Cherrygrove: USED.
Violet: USED.
Route 32: Unused.

Dark Fox does Nuzlocke! - The Crystal Saga: Episode 3 (who goes first?)

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Rules pertaining to this run may be found in Episode 1. Also, I apologize, but the pictures in this entry have not been framed/resized because I'm doing this entry at work, and may do future entries at work as well. Most of them, however, will be done on a computer I can crop pics using puush.

LAST TIME ON THE CRYSTAL SAGA! I just beat Falkner the bird-fucker, and headed back a route to train my team up a level.


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NotJayLeno almost couldn't handle the heat. But my entire team rose a level, and I pressed south towards Union Cave.

Route 32, time for another catch.


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No, I already have one of you.


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You'll do just fine.


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Yey.


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Huehue.


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I was training on trainers, and, welp, tackle ran out of PP. That's what sucks about restricting Pokemon centers; you can't buy ethers in stores so easily.


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Kinda totally worth it though.


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Oh no he is ghost.


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That's kinda sad when you have to learn the worst move in the game...


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When I got done training, I took to the PKMN center on Route 32, because I wasn't gonna come back. I took this opportunity to swap the Togepi egg with PartyMon, because I really needed a water type.


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PartyMon managed to take out two Geodudes higher leveled than him with water gun. But overall, this cave was a pain in the ass. I was low on potions to use, and no other mon in my party could avoid hitting not very effective on Geodude and Onyx.

No, seriously, that cave was bullshit. I had close calls with some of my team, but I managed to make it out with no casualties, barely.

On the route outside the cave, I was free to find a new Pokemon. I ran into a Ratatta first, then I accidentally ran into the trainer next to the grass. He had more rock types. But fuck him, I pulled out F Princess, she took some hits, and all was well. I went back into the grass at night.


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It you.


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Upsides: Resistant to poison and other bugs. Has an HP-stealing move and a confusion-causing move. Fast.

Downsides: Low PP on only attacking move, which is weak to begin with. Weak to other moves. Defensive pussy.


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Alucard is cool. So I put Furretta in the box and started training him.


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Alucard is love. Alucard is leech life. But mostly supersonic.

This was in Slowpoke cave, because that's the next thing I had to do. The Pokemon center had not been used yet. After I kicked Rocket's ass out, I went to the Mart, filled up on potions, and healed my team up. PP was missing, but I would pull out fine.


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Let the supersonics and potions flow through you.


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You look terrible in pixel form. I mean, you always look terrible, but especially now.


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Shit's about to get real.


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It took a few embers, but the job got done.


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I KNOW.


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Maybe not.

I truthfully stepped into this battle with poor planning. This turned painful really fast.


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HA.

But seriously, the battle went like this; NotJayLeno, Raditz, and Soldier had their turns with his other mons, but when it came to Croconaw, I knew I was in too deep. F Princess was still injured, and no other mon had the level to combat it. So... I needed a sacrifice.


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PartyMon was the weakest on my team. I used him to help F Princess up with two potions, then...


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He dead.


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Your harsh words against PartyMon will not be forgiven.


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I put PartyMon in the dead box, pulled out Furretta, and walked into Ilex Forest. Oddish was the first unique Pokemon I met.


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I know Hoppip is an Oddish clone, but I'm keeping Raditz.


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I ran out of ideas.

After I rushed in and captured the escapee Farfetch'd, I then started to train whatever healthy members I had left in the forest. I had pictures for Soldier learning poisonpowder, then stun spore, then sleep powder, but that would've taken up unecessary space.

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Here's the princess, after almost being trained to death.

I then took this opportunity to rush to the previous PKMN center and heal up, as I was headed to Goldenrod city.


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I know not what lies ahead for my team, but with PartyMon's passing, I can tell you it won't be easy. Stay tuned.


In Memorium


PartyMon


Route 32 - Azalea Town

"He partied too fucking hard."




BADGES: 2
DEATHS: 1
SURVIVORS: 6 + Egg

Current Party:
F Princess the lvl 21 Quilava.
Soldier the lvl 15 Butterfree.
NotJayLeno the lvl 15 Rattata.
Raditz the lvl 13 Hoppip.
Furretta the lvl 10 Sentret.
Alucard the lvl 9 Zubat.

PKMN Centers nearby:
Route 32: USED.
Azalea Town: USED.
Goldenrod City: Unused.

The Realm of Entropy - t00lishness's first international flight and other such things

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As the title suggests, this was my first trip where I was taking off from one country and landing in another; my trips to Mexico always land in San Diego (or, less often, in LA with a connecting flight). This was also, by far, my longest flight. The actual time-in-flight was around 8 hours, but putting in the time in the airport, boarding, taxiing to the takeoff, it ended up being more like 9 1/2 to 10 hours per transatlantic flight. Boring statistics, which is an apt adjective for the flight itself, really. As with most flights, I took the opportunity to drink alcohol to keep myself from growing restless. Actually, I should say "all flights."

To go on with the flight theme, this was also the first time I experienced real jet lag. Mexico trips don't trip me up too much (oh the puns), since they're only 2 hours different. England, on the other hand, is 6 hours earlier than Central Standard Time, so I was insomniac far more than usual the entire trip. I was actually taking naps in the afternoon, which is completely unheard of stateside. Oddly, and fortunately, enough, I had the best sleep of the entire trip on our last night there.

I tell you this not to bore you to death, but to set the tone: when I am sleepy, I am at best a grouch, and at worst a plague upon those around me. This unsurprisingly interacted with my dysthymia to make it so that my brain didn't really appreciate a lot of things as much as it should, and react wholly forceful on those things that normally make my dysthymia or social anxiety act up (read: people).

London has approximately 8 million people in it, and we spent the vast majority of the week there, with two days spent, instead, in Cardiff, Wales. I normally hate public transit, but as it's the only way to get anywhere in London, that's the only way we got anywhere. Although, admittedly, the underground was a lot better than the buses. That's probably because London traffic is crazy-go-nuts regardless of whether you're a pedestrian, driver, passenger on a bus, or a biker. I couldn't comprehend biking in that city - I pretty much dismissed all of them as having a death wish. This is the kind of shit you get to deal with later in life when you grow up in a small town.

Anyway, I suppose that after getting over that system shock on a semi-regular basis, we did get to see some cool things. London itself is pretty, a lot more green than you would imagine a city that large being. Lots of interesting architecture, plenty of parks, and it seems everyone in the city has a green thumb, or tries to have one. It was impossible to find a yard that didn't have a plethora of flowers and flowering trees in it. Unfortunately, I don't think Miki (my wife) took many pictures of that sort of thing - pictures were mainly for the various museums and other places we set out to specifically visit.

Speaking of, I suppose I should give a list of those: The British Museum, The Charles Dickens Museum, British Science Museum, Natural History Museum (fun story there), Stonehenge, Cardiff Castle, Caerphilly Castle, plenty of pubs and shops.

One of the things I most wanted to do while there was to go to an English pub, which I ended up doing multiple times in multiple locations. Miki's aunt Emi and uncle Ali put us up for the week, and we went to a couple English pubs with them, but the first one I went to was on our first day, and I was worried I wouldn't get enough British-ness to tide me over, so after the British Museum, we stopped at the first pub just across the road, where I had bangers and mash for the first time. Definitely British, but, as I learned while there - Britain doesn't have bad food. That's quite an old stereotype. The aforementioned bangers and mash wasn't bad, but not spectacular either - pretty much what I expected for pub food. For those who don't know, bangers and mash is basically English sausages over mashed potatoes. The pub I went to also had onion chutney with them, and I didn't see it on other menus to compare.

The British Museum we visited just beforehand - I saw a lot of things I hadn't seen the like of before. There were a lot of old artifacts from many eras. I saw the Rosetta Stone, a metric fuckton of Egyptian and Medieval European artifacts, and plenty of, for lack of a better phrase, old shit I didn't know much about prior to visiting. It was all really interesting, and I don't recall having so much knowledge packed in at such a great rate since the last time I got high and thought I understood the universe. However, as I mentioned before, the people thing really got to me and the exhibits you'd expect a lot of people to be around (Rosetta Stone, Egyptian artifacts), there were at least two hundred extra people that my brain couldn't handle, to the point that when I got to aforementioned Rosetta Stone, when I should have been thinking "Holy shit, this is one of the greatest artifacts I've ever gotten to see in person," my brain was thinking more along the lines of, "Rock with things on it. People. Holy shit, people, FLEE!"

Later in the day, after recovering (read: drinking copious amounts of booze), we went to the Charles Dickens Museum, which was set in an old house that wasn't actually Charles Dickens' house at any point in time. It was more like a Victorian house tour with some of the old furniture he actually wrote some of his classics at, with plenty of information on the background of him and his family. Miki and I both agreed, upon seeing many of the furniture items, that we enjoy Victorian furniture. That's quite possibly the most boring sentence I have written, yet also one of the most truthful. Anyway, one of the goodies I picked up for myself was in the gift shop there - a Charles Dickens Action Figure with quill and removable top hat. I imagined immediately upon seeing it him having a duel with my friend Carey's Oscar Wilde action figure. Then I decided he would be best displayed riding atop my ceramic hand-painted unicorn lovingly named Bloodletter. I haven't done that yet, but when I do, I imagine I'll post a picture.

So, that was our Monday. Tuesday was Stonehenge day. I actually feel pretty bad about that day, because my dysthymia decided that day was "fuck you world" day, so I felt very much like a troglodyte. I've seen and read so much about Stonehenge (I think we all have) that I was expecting to be greeted with something more spectacular than what I was greeted with. For one, I just thought it would be larger than what it is. The actual stone circle is only about a couple hundred feet in diameter. At least, that's what I think, seeing it - I know they provided actual dimensions, but I don't remember them, nor was I in the right frame of mind to. I know, logically, that it was a pretty impressive engineering feat for the people of that age, but I couldn't help but think "fuck you" to everyone I saw, and was just generally in a sour mood. Miki was pretty sad about not getting to touch it at all; they have had the whole area cordoned off since 1978, I think (oh good I remember something). Good points of that trip: getting the hell out of London (less population density = happier Joes (my name's Joe, surprise!)), having nettle wine for the first time (like a white wine but not nearly as sweet).

Wednesday, we went to a reconstruction of The Globe Theatre and the Tate Museum (modern art). They kept the construction as close to the original as possible (obviously there were safety standards they had to adhere to, such as railings where there were none before), using wooden beams, wooden pegs to hold it in place, a thatch roof, and they kept the productions to the same sort of standards, aside from progressive thinking taking place between now and then; they don't always use male actors for every role now. We didn't get to see a performance, nor did we have the opportunity, as the season starts later this month. Our tour guide was excellent, which made things all the better. After that, we had lunch in a Greek restaurant (remember me saying the stereotype about British cuisine was outdated?) which was pretty awesome. I had grilled halloumi for the first time, which has now become my favorite cheese ever. Then we went to the Tate museum, which actually made me think that my paintings (most of which I haven't posted) are on-par or close to some of the things in there. I needed a nice boost of confidence at that time. There were also, on the flipside, whole rooms I dubbed "the pretentious room," or something in a similar light. I also know that I won't ever appreciate minimalism as it's meant to be.

Thursday, we went to Cardiff. Oh, Cardiff... I love you so much. It's a city that is so weird and cohesive at the same time; I don't know how best to put my appreciation for it. Old and modern structures sit next to each other like some strange dichotomy, yet they somehow blend perfectly. I remember looking at a very large modern art sculpture outside the Cardiff library and thinking there's a fucking Medieval castle less than a block away, and how is this even a thing? I think it was at this point I actually started relaxing, because there were WAY less people than London, and my brain stopped being in hyperdrive-holy-shit-too-many-people mode. Cardiff Castle was fucking amazing. That was far and away my favorite part of the trip. We had an excellent guide for that too; I'm finding that when you combine the following traits: humorous, obviously love your job, knowledgeable - you get a fantastic tour guide. If only we could all get such jobs suited to us. But I digress - it, as I said, was amazing for me. Clamoring around in a castle was just what I needed. Our hotel, by the way, was pretty damn good too. We booked it because one, it touted itself as the oldest hotel in Cardiff, and, two, was only slightly more expensive than a fucking Travelodge. Not a hard decision to make. I ended up chatting with the bartenders at the hotel bar until closing time - very nice people, and easily personable. That much more personable, I'd imagine, when I'm drunk and you're giving me drinks.

Friday, we were still in Cardiff, having spent the night over. We went to Caerphilly Castle, which was only about 10 mi. outside Cardiff. Whereas Cardiff Castle had people living in it up to the 1950's, Caerphilly was... well, bare. It definitely had all the makings of being a Medieval fort. As I learned from one of the few signs on-location, it was never taken by force during the Medieval era. Looking at it, I could see how that'd be possible; definitely looked and felt more like a military installation than having the amenities and luxury of what I'd seen in Cardiff Castle. It was still interesting, but I'd already found my first love in Cardiff. The siege weapons outside the castle were actually of more interest to me; the castle interior was pretty much what I expected, but Cardiff didn't have any siege weapons other than a trebuchet. Caerphilly had a trebuchet, a ballista, and two other siege weapons I'm a little too tired to recall right now. Two other types of catapults. The ballista still remains my favorite siege weapon, and yes, I realize just how nerdy that is to have a "favorite siege weapon." Later that night, we went to the pub with Emi and Ali, and everything was right with the world.

Saturday, we went to the British Science Museum. I was actually anticipating this trip far more than I thought I would, and was nonplussed, really, but not at the museum itself - it was more at the fact that I'd been anticipating it so much and was so roundly disappointed. I'm not meaning to sound like a braggart or anything similar when I say that I really didn't see anything impressive or anything I didn't know about previously. In all honesty, it seemed like a science museum for people who don't understand science. After that, we went to the Natural History Museum, where dysthymia reared its ugly head again and said, "Bitch, I fucking hate you," before we sat down to have lunch and, summarily, both of us were feeling the too-many-people thing, so we left before seeing anything.

Sunday was actually our anniversary, but with all the travel, we didn't have any time to do anything special; the previous week was meant to be a honeymoon of sorts. We spent the entire day traveling, and, for me, most of the time drunk because fuck international flights.

Bitter as I may have seemed at times, overall I did have a good time, and I'm certainly pleased I got to see the things that I did. But the next time we go to the UK, I definitely want to have Cardiff as our base of operations instead. Next on the agenda is trying to put that Charles Dickens riding Bloodletter. Thanks for reading, hope I haven't been too terribly boring.

Dark Fox does Nuzlocke! - The Crystal Saga: Episode 4 (what's the big idea?)

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Rules pertaining to this run may be found in Episode 1. Also, a special notice: I had a scare earlier involving the app I'm doing this run on. All of my save states on all of my games were deleted. Thankfully, before I stopped playing before that, I used the in-game save function on Crystal, which saved everything I had done. I cannot say the same for my Pokemon Yellow file, which died, even though I saved it in both ways as well. Just know that this Nuzlocke could end abruptly at any time against my will.

Last time on the Crystal Saga, I just whipped Bugsy the bug fucker, and PartyMon joined and died really quickly. I started training my way through the forest.


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I need more of you.


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That's the premise of Pokemon...


Anyways, the forest was of little issue, and I stepped into Route 34. Then I saw a Rattata.


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Then I saw like three more, before I ran into a different mon.


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You're different.


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Get yo pink fairy ass in the ball before I knock yo shit out.


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It did got done.


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If nothing better comes up, I'll probably take Will over Furretta.


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Who's this fucker?

He doesn't even know tackle.

Fuck outta here.


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Soldier will retain sleep powder, and Raditz will keep stun spore.

I should mention, Route 34 is an excellent place to train before Whitney. My team was leveled high enough that most mons were KO'd in two hits, so that saved a lot of PP. In fact, I trained so much...


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Aw shet. These fuckers are in trouble now.


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I forgot that there was a free egg in the day care on Route 34. If I remember, I'll go back and get it later.

I trained so hard, and got so far. In the end, only F Princess mattered, because I used her to fuck up the gym. She needed a few potions, but that's normal.


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Who's this bitch


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I'm about to fuck you up.


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You thought I used a potion or some shit?

Nope. Clefairy used Metronome, which turned into Present, which turned into free health because fuck yoooooooouuuuuuuu.


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AW SHET.

Fuck Rollout. Fuck Whitney. Fuck Miltank. I spammed Smokescreen. If I did get hit by rollout, I dragged out a potion. If I didn't, I attacked. I hit an ember in hopes of burn, and I got it. Then I just tacked the cow until she yiffed herself with Milk Drink. Then I tackled her again.


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Fuck yooooooooooooooooooooouuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu.


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I didn't head straight for the Pokemon Center. I had trained a lot on Route 34, yes, but I still had potential to take down trainers on Route 35.


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Oh... oh my.


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Everyone knows that lvl 2 Voltorbs have great BALL dexterity.

After, I went for the tall grass for a new catch.


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I want you.


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Ooh baby I need you.


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My nicknames are starting to make sense again.

Yeah, screw Furretta and NotWillSmith. When I go back to the PKMN Center, I'm pulling you in.


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I can't remember why I took this picture. Maybe because of Special Attack hitting 50? I don't know.

My next target was the bug-catching contest. But uh-oh, it was sunday! Thanfully, I could just change the clock, & boom, instant saturday. I didn't need to be in the contest to get the Pokemon, but there was a free prize involved. But the first guy I ran into sucked anyways.


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Fuck yoooouuuu Kakuna, I don't need you that bad.


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I had to avoid some trainers on the way back, but I managed to get back to Goldenrod and heal up.

Then I got the Bike, and the Squirting Bottle, and went back to that oh-so mysterious not rock-type tree up by Route 36.


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You're technically the first Pokemon on the route, so...


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I know, being asleep is soooo confusing. Great ball, go!

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Yus.


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That could've gone differently.

Anyways, I shortly afterwards made it to Ecruteak city.


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HE MUST BE A PSYCHIC-TYPE LEADER.


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I don't need revives in this run, silly. Time to go shopping!


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I like Alucard. But he's not on par with everyone yet. So I put Alucard in storage and took Buzz out. Yes, Buzz gets a free heal from being caught, but that wasn't a rule that I couldn't do that for new members. Plus, I haven't done that before. So, yeah, my team looks good. Glad I avoided everything else on Route 36, save for what I could one-shot with Soldier.


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Soldier's missing a few PP, but otherwise, everyone is fine. I now have a few options. The Gym is closed because (Rick and) Morty is absent. To see them again, I have to go through Burned Tower, which I know contains another stupid rival battle. To the west is two more routes, which the game wants me to go through first anyways, but to progress any farther than that, I would need to whip the Kimono Girls, who I'm right next to, for Surf. To the east is Mt. Mortar, the seventh gym (that, for some odd reason, I could challenge right away), another route, and the Lake of Rage, which is the key to getting an exp share. What happens next?


BADGES: 3
DEATHS: 1
SURVIVORS: 9 + Egg

Current Party:
F Princess the lvl 25 Quilava.
NotJayLeno the lvl 20 Raticate.
Buzz the lvl 20 Sudowoodo.
Soldier the lvl 19 Butterfree.
Raditz the lvl 16 Hoppip.
Prophet the lvl 14 Hoothoot.

PKMN Centers nearby:
Goldenrod City: USED.
Ecruteak City: Unused.
Olivine City: Unused.
Mahogany Town: Unused.
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