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The Common Deanominator - Buddy's Musical Christmas: An Unnecessary Yet Charming Retelling of a Modern Christmas Classic

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"Elf: Buddy's Musical Christmas" combines the humor and spirit of both the beloved 2003 holiday film, which drew glowing reviews and earned $173 million at the domestic box office, and the hit Broadway production. The special is an all-new retelling of Buddy's delightfully absurd yet heartwarming story and blends the look and feel of the stop-motion animated Christmas specials of the past with the sharp sensibility of the modern-day classic holiday film." (Synopsis taken from NBC.com)

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The best way to view this special is not as a sequel or a remake, but as an alternate interpretation of the original story...in an alternate universe where Buddy the Elf is a lanky redhead voiced by Sheldon the Bazinga Man. "Buddy's Musical Christmas" is a fun sized version of the movie (more or less), taking bits and pieces of the original and modifying them to fit comfortably in a 43 minute timespan, with musical numbers aplenty, as the title implies. Speaking of which, the music itself ranges from corny to halfway memorable. It doesn't really add anything to the special, as it feels more like padding just to get from one key scene to the next. Now don't get me wrong, there was definitely a respectable amount of effort put into the music - and if the special must be a musical, it may as well sound nice, right? But that's exactly the problem: it didn't have to be a musical, and I feel it could have been a lot stronger without it.

What it lacks in its soundtrack it compensates for in animation. "Buddy's Musical Christmas" is animated entirely in stop motion, which was actually played around with a bit in the original Elf. This special, however, takes full advantage of the medium, and it really pays off. Cute, stylized character models combined with classical animation principles like stretch and squash make for some wonderful eye candy. All of the textures and colors pop out so much that I feel like reaching through the screen and touching them. Along with the great animation, the special also get a great voice cast. Mark Hamil takes over James Caan's role as Walter Hobbs, while Kate Micucci (the voice of Sadie from Steven Universe) voices Jovie and Gilbert Gottfried voices Walter's grouchy, antagonistic boss; Ed Asner is the only actor to reprise his role as Santa Claus. If nothing else I've mentioned does it for you, the voice acting is a treat to listen to. Even the Bazango Zongo Guy does a swell job as the titular eccentric elf.

Now, I could go on again about how the music is essentially pointless to the special, but if I'm going to be brutally honest...the entire existence of "Buddy's Musical Christmas" is pointless. The original Elf is great on its own, so why tamper with it any further? Well, in a way, I feel the special fully acknowledges that, so instead of forcefully continuing a story that already has an finite end, it retells it with some new elements thrown into the mix. Is some of it completely unnecessary? Ohhh yeah. But the other qualities are very well done and they make the time watching the special worthwhile. Besides, if countless television shows can run the "SO AND SO CHARACTER MUST PLAY THE ROLE SANTA AND SAAAAAVE CHRISTMAAAAAS" story dry, then I see no reason why we can't watch Buddy bring joy to New York City once again.

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I give Buddy's Musical Christmas a solid B...for Buddy! Sorry, I'll see myself out.

Stuart K Reilly's Skunkarama - AC/DC Rock Or Bust album review song by song

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HOOOOO boy I'm listening to it right this second as I type this. Maybe I better shut it off so i can stop headbanging. Ok we good now.


Well I finally got ahold of AC/DC's new album and I have to say.....

Hell I don't know. I have mixed feelings about it.


Thing is. It has 4 REALLY good songs, and 7 kinda ho hum filler sounding songs that really don't stand out. So that makes 11 tracks in all with only 4 being worth listening to. Its not a NEW thing. I have albums that I only like a few songs on. I guess I expected WAY too much out of an AC/DC comeback. Still waiting on that NEW Back In Black or Highway To Hell I guess.


ANYWAY. So you wanna know if its worth getting? Well lets break down all the songs on the new album:

Rock or Bust: HOLY FUCK this song hit me like a runaway 18 wheeler. The album starts out with this KILLER guitar riff brought to you by Angus and new band member Stevie Young. Its a funky rhythm helped by Phil Rudd's drumming and riding the cymbals. The vocal melody is kicking and the lyrics are what you would expect from AC/DC. "In rock we trust, its rock or bust". The whole song just makes you want to get in a fight,bang your head,drink till you're 90% alcohol, and so on. I really like the space and minimalist vibe to the guitar tracks. I've always liked guitar riffs where they left a little space in between riffs or chords or what have ya. And to keep it from being stale Angus hits a few notes here and there to color it up and of course his solo is nothing short or groovy. This is easily my favorite song on the album and worth buying the CD or downloading by itself. Seriously GIVE AC/DC YOUR MONEY for this song.

Play Ball: I reviewed this song in my last blog post but for those who missed it I'll give you my thoughts again
Spoiler


Rock The Blues Away: The intro's pretty cool in this song and it has this upbeat happy sound to the whole song. The lyrics basically explain the day in the life of a rocker who wants to have a good time and forget his troubles. It sounds a little "poppish" to me though is the thing. Almost like its not a song they wrote but a song that was sent in to them to AC/DC'fy. It sounds more like something an 80s hair metal group may have put out trying to sound like AC/DC. Not really my thing.

Miss Adventure: This one has a neat intro as well but thats about it. Again it sounds a little more cheesy than I like what with the chanting and the silly lyrics. Neat guitar riffs though but overall its meh. Skip it.

Dogs Of War: This one I WANTED to like. Because AGAIN the intro was rocking and I was ready to hear the rest of the song then I hear Angus or somebody say "DAWGS OF WAH" in a low growly voice. Its more annoying and silly than anything. The music itself is pretty good though and makes you move around a little. But God that chanting is just plain cheesy. I don't know why they started doing that. They did that on a few of the Black Ice songs as well. And it sounds as silly as it did on there too. Anyway the song is at least worth a listen I guess but the chanting gets my disapproval.

Got Some Rock And Roll Thunder: NOW we're talking. This one sounds like classic AC/DC bar rock with a blues rock vibe that only they can pull off. The lyrics are that good old "Fuck yeah rock and roll" stuff that Brian Johnson brings you like nothing else. I could see dancing to this. This track is groovy,memorable,rocking. And Angus delivers his soulful playing as usual. Rewind it,play again.

Hard Times: This one I didn't finish the first time I heard it because it just sounded like a filler track and maybe it is. Its really not memorable and I can't really think of anything to say about it. Nah, skip it.

Baptism By Fire: This one's a little more fast paced and reminds me of the song Shake a Leg from Back In Black. Really ain't much to say about this one either. It sounds like Shake a Leg but isn't near as good. If you like a faster song that will make you want to drive 90mph down the highway maybe you'll like this one but don't expect to remember it that well.

Rock The House: This one tries to be like a groovy strip club song. And the lyrics reflect that. This one has a pretty neat main riff and again like Rock or Bust it chops up the guitar tracks so theres that little bit of air going on that does things to your ears. I didn't like this one the first time I heard it but its growing on me as i listen to it. Not the best one on the album but its worth a listen. Also Angus solo is a very yes

Sweet Candy: When this song first started playing I was thinking "HOLY SHIT Angus is about to play Foxey Lady by Hendrix!" because it starts off with that EXACT guitar squeal. But instead we get a pretty kicking and rocking track that I wouldn't mind listening to again. The riffs are cool, the lyrics are pure AC/DC and Angus delivers once again with some tasty licks.

Emission Control: After you hear Sweet Candy you're ready to hear another rocking killer track to fire you up some more. This wasn't it to me. Just sounds like a filler song or a song they TRIED to make into a new and memorable song and it didn't work out that way. Really don't care for this one.


Well thats it! The entirety of AC/DC's Rock Or Bust in one blog post. I hope this was informative and helped you decide whether or not you wanna download or buy it. I think its at LEAST worth a download for Rock Or Bust the title track.


So to recap, here's the song's worth listening to on Rock Or Bust

Rock Or Bust
Play Ball
Get Some Rock And Roll Thunder
Sweet Candy
MAYBE Dogs Of War just as a wild card because I said 4 good songs earlier.


Is it the new Back In Black we've all been waiting for? Not by a longshot but theres some good tracks on there that's worth a listen.

Rock on folks.

My blog-tastic Stories - So here's something I made...

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I'm just gonna cut right to the chase and give you the link.
https://4133968aee70a13358b39eb5911d25003b765d79.googledrive.com/host/0B7JSeva3f-dfeTNQMVFjQmEyR1U/index.html

So yeah, a website let's you edit a video while playing, kinda like live pooping. Awesome, right?

You probably asking what am I going to do with this thing. Well, I'm going to update it every few weeks or so to add more effects you can mess around with, such as more audio effects, being able to use other videos, etc. And also I kinda want to see someone film using it and upload it.

Oh and this made using a program called Construct 2. It's actually more of a game maker rather than a thing that you can create websites with.




I don't know how to end this bye

The Realm of Entropy - Death is certainly not for the living.

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The truest things you can ever say of any person is that they lived, and that they died. Everyone will experience both those things. The rest is a menagerie of circumstance and personal choice that leads them to paths none of us will walk; though our path may be similar, no one can ever truly know what it is to be another person, nor all the influences that person had on the lives of others. We can get inklings from time to time, yes, but to know fully is impossible.

I suppose I should explain the maudlin tone of this by saying that an uncle of mine recently passed away. He had lung cancer, so it was not completely unexpected, but the swiftness of his passing is.. bothering me. I've always dealt with death particularly well, but the others I've had to deal with.. well, oddly enough, all cancer. No heart attacks, no car accidents, just the slow, debilitating trudge to the unknown that cancer is.

The last time I saw him was about a month and a half ago, visiting a good friend back home for his bachelor party. When I saw him, it was actually the first time I'd been to him and my aunt's house. My mom and another aunt were there, and they were all just sitting around watching a Bears game, in which they were getting fucking stomped. Bears memorabilia littered their living room - pictures of various players from various times, dinnerware of various sorts, pennants, and even an original vinyl of the Super Bowl Shuffle from the 80's. They certainly put the "fan" in "fanatic."

But while I was there, he seemed so normal. Just the casual, laid-back guy he always was, just enjoying the game. Or, rather, would have been, had the Bears not been getting reamed a new asshole. I suppose I should say - I was not related to him by blood. I am related to my aunt by blood. But.. she had a history of horrible relationships, as do most of the female members of my extended family, including for... well, actually all of my aunts, and my mom, (total 5)... physical and mental abuse. That uncle was one of the few good things that happened to her. Always kind, always courteous.. never abusive, not to her or anyone. And then one early morning, he wakes up coughing blood and complaining he can't breathe, and he's gone. And my aunt loses a great person, then gets to deal with the fallout of it, not just funeral proceedings, but his daughter trying to rifle through his stuff and take what she wants while his corpse is still warm.

I am not a religious person. I consider myself an atheist, though I was raised Catholic. Funny how I know so many people like that. But things like this make me hope I'm wrong, and that whatever's out there is a benevolent sort. When the other people's deaths I've had to deal with came around, sometimes you could just smell death in the room - and death was a mercy, not a curse. But with this, it's an unwelcome surprise. And especially this happening around the holidays, it's the worst.

I think, perhaps, this is why I dabble in fantasy so much. The troubles of the world are a lot less when you can immerse yourself into something else less horrible, be able to imagine a better future, something else to look forward to.. people who you know are imaginary, dealing with problems you have and some you don't, but still able to do something about it. Powerless is the worst way to feel. I'm pretty sure that's how my aunt has felt since that happened. No one should feel that way.

Minding Hawaii Wizard - Poop Tennis Review: LaVieCestLol vs. laromande

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Welcome again, my friends. This week the match we shall be reviewing is
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LaVieCestLol and Laromande are respectively french and Swiss YTPers that have recently come onto the scene over the course of the last year and a half, and hail from an-all french collective group known as The Idiocrates, in which one can also find the now-familiar-in-the-tennis-scene names of Sid(Sid1325) and Myst076. Both have recently gained notable presences in the world of YTP Tennis, particularly in the case of La Vie who has recently set a record for being the newest player to win a site-sanctioned Tennis Tournament in the shortest amount of time, and the first one to win as a replacement player. He is currently one of the most respected new names of the game and has become an integral part of the community, currently in a slew of matches involving many veteran names. Before he would get to this point however he would start small, and the match he would play with laromande, a female YTPer known for her very technically corrosive and emotionally driven style, would be his very first. This would also however feature an incredibly novel concept, which would give both players their first notable attention from the central tennis world leading it to receive considerable praise from tennis regulars for it's inventiveness and the trade of ideas that came out of it.


The notoriously unique quality of this match is that it features entirely homemade footage and audio, created by both players and added into their respective rounds, offering a much more personal form of communication that has not been seen previously in Tennis. La Vie has said that it came about as a random thought from the matches beginning, and it plays with the curiousness and ponderance toward of the concept of what exactly makes a "YouTube Poop" by having the edited existing material that would, in it's commonly accepted form make it a YTP, being made up of material created to exist for the sole purpose of appearing in this match.

Due to this match also being almost entirely in French in both dialogue and writing, La Vie has also graciously assisted me in providing full translations of all the dialogue spoken throughout the match, in addition to providing context to much of the events in each round to provide better understanding for the majority of readers. The names Jean and Lucie heard frequently throughout the video are respectively the real names of both La Vie and laromande.


Round 1

This round and the next 2 that follow it serve to be the establishing stage of this match, experimenting with the prospects and possibilities of an all homemade footage match in a variety of different methods. The video's translated title is "Artistic Integrity 101 – Original Material" and begins with a hand drawn title card that says "DOGMA #1325 “YTP TENNIS : LAVIE CESTLOL VS. LAROMANDE” –
FIRST CHAPTER : ARTISTIC INTEGRITY 101 – ORIGINAL MATERIAL".
Within a flurry of layered segments of video that appears to have been filmed from the seat of a car, we hear the first audible dialogue from La Vie which is “You’re still listening to RADIOM, it’s 1 AM, and apparently, I’m still eager to go on with my highjacking”, a reference to a time where he worked as a small-time radio host and at one point stole the air for two hours, broadcasting a random selection of music. More layering tricks are done to the initial video in a very free-frame sort of way, and ambient music in varying weights is heard throughout the whole video and would also play a major part in setting the atmosphere for all the videos to come. At one point we also see recorded footage of the very preview window in which the serve is being constructed, and the camera viewing it takes us away and out of the room, and down a hallway where a sudden mirror effect is accentuated by the sudden flick of a light. The remainder of the video is all of the same filmed footage edited very minimally, and we are taken outside where it is currently dark, and the video ends with La Vie himself stepping in front of the camera, and "cutting" to off with a clap of his hands, which punctually ends the first round.


Round 2

This continues the development of the match starting with video of a drawing with Laro speaking “Jean against Laro, the second round" with "ARTE” layered over it in the audio. It features largely new added homemade footage with the majority of the edited previous round taking up the video's end, which largely footage of the countryside, including a clip where a flower is held to the center frame. Throughout this segment laro goes into a rant about products made in Belgium saying “I don’t understand why, in this country, these products aren't for Switzerland, they’re Belgian-BELGIAN, Everything is written in French, but also in Dutch. Do I understand Dutch? No, I don’t understand Dutch. Why are you writing stuff in Dutch, god dammit, look at that.Why are there Belgian products? It tastes like Stromae!”(who is a famous Belgian singer)Why are the Belgians making cookies? Why are they making music?” all while the word "WHY?" is repeated over all this dialogue, in mocking reference to a francophone vlogger known as Norman Fait des Vidéos. "PLAGARISM IDIOCRACY" flashes on the screen in reference to their own Idiocrates group who have a small trademark in making fun of these kind of people in their videos. Throughout this segment several objects including the arm and hand of the video's maker, and the cookies and cookie boxes themselves are masked out and duplicated across the screen, which becomes a defining part of this video. The first bits of the previous round begin to appear about 25 seconds in, as “You’re still listening to RADIOM ...” from the serve along with bits of the previous video start to finally appear, creating an interesting transition. As the title would be called "nature and industry", this would be the "industry" half while the video following it, consisting of mostly the countryside, would account for it's "nature" half. The industry half ends with laro speaking “My favourite ...”, followed by “... my highjacking ...” from the serve, and “It’s that one.” pointing to the song on the CD on the table. The video ends with laro saying “... because it’s going to be daytime, and it’ll last until late at night. So I wanna work at daytime and ... maybe it’s a change of vibe ...”




Round 3

The ambient tone of the match sees a development and continuation in LaVie's second volley, which adds in a lot more footage of trees and forest and also serves to use much more of the previous round throughout it. He introduces an idea here of responding to some of the dialogue presented in round 2, saying “Well, you see, Laro, speaking of Belgian Products, I don’t really know what to think of it” in the midst of usage of “Do I understand Dutch? No, I don’t understand Dutch.” and also saying “If Stromae tastes like (inaudible) Why even bother?” in between reusage of the "TASTES LIKE STROMAE" audio("Inb4 French Fry" flashes on the screen at this point as well). This round also serves to add some really interesting visual layering segments in various parts in the video, while in the audio we hear overlapping segments of dialogue that reuses peices of Laro's belgian rant, and also uses audio of La Vie explaining the concept of YTP on his radio show and talking about a film he had been making earlier that never got finished. Later on the video there is new footage of him getting into a car and it is here we hear more audio of him reading an article on YTP from a site called Madamoizelle.com and his chewiki article, with this being the first time that we hear English being spoken in this match to which he shouts “I DON’T KNOW HOW TO FUCKING PRONOUCE! I CAN’T
PRONOUNCE THAT! FUCK!” in self-commentary of his own English pronunciation. At the videos cutoff we hear him end the video saying “Be careful, If you have epilepsy, go hide.”



Round 4

It is here that is considered to be a pivotal turning point in the match, as laro would now do something that not only fully embraces the running concept of the match but also adding incredible artistic weight to it from this round onward. Here she suddenly adds in a pathos element, turning the video into something much more personal and intimate. This is accentuated by much added footage showing herself minus her face, particularly at a scene where she is obscured as all but a silhouette proceeding to undress herself, which considerably is one of the rounds strongest moments within the established context. Furthering this is the added footage of a man interviewing himself with “Why am I living?” in the beginning being heard, along with “I'm sick of that, I can’t take it anymore” amidest the rest of the previous round being mixed in with it, mostly all still completely recognizable. The overlapping voices from round 3 are mixed in with either Laro talking about her family or reading a book of some kind, with later recapitulation of the same voices as well as a snip of the "Belgian products" dialogue spoken by La Vie, with at one point having both Laro and La Vie together say "Stromae", each from the respective round they said it in. The video's second half is identified as a "bonus TV segment" with two faceless characters interacting with each other as laromande laughs at it throughout. The exchange of dialogue between them goes:

Faceless Character 1 - “Oh hey! What is going on here?”
Faceless Character 2 – “Oh Benedict! It’s you!”
Faceless Character 1 – “I didn't think I’d find you here! So, what’s up?”
Faceless Character 2 – “Well, as you see, I’m playing my synthesizer.”(in which a Korg suddenly appears on their lap)
Faceless Character 1 – “Oh I’m looking at your pretty lamp. It’s really pretty. And it's a lamp, too."
Faceless Character 2 – *Inaudible*
Faceless Character 1 – “What? No, not at all! Hum ... I was just passing by, that’s all. Erm
Faceless Character 2 – “Errr ... okay. See .. ya ...”

This ends with the sudden interjection of La Vie's "I DON'T KNOW HOW TO PRONOUNCE THAT" yelling from the previous round, which zooms out of a camera lens held by laro, who's face is blurred out and the previous round seen chroma-keyed in a ceiling window. A similar instance of that occurs earlier in which new filmed footage zooms chroma-keyed out of a book and zooms into the previous round which is chroma-keyed into the second book, showing much increased inventiveness.



Round 5

La Vie considers this video to be one of his two best rounds of the match, the other being Round 9. The video begins with a heavy freeframe-esque treatment of the ending camera lens segment from the previous round while in the audio we hear Laro singing a Stromae song in a way that is loudly saturating her microphone in conjugation with La Vie twiddling a radio to emanate noise from it. Later following new recorded footage with La Vie saying "Okay, God Fucking Dammit" on a cropped video layer, we see under it edited clips of the previous "bonus tv segment" which then follows the center video going to full screen, viewing a drawing that is of a visual representation of both La Vie and Laro tennising on a court, which is titled COMMUNICATIVE TENNIS with La Vie written to say “Yeah, it’s tough” and Laro written to say “It’s tough but it’s funny too”. It then transitions to new footage of La Vie holding title cards announcing Round 5 of the match, with Laro's “I sick of that, I can’t take it anymore.” playing over it as all the footage turns blue and enters into a hallucinogenic layering segment, which follows into a loud distorted noise before cutting suddenly to the footage unedited, in which La Vie explains “Usually, I went there to play, even though it was a private property, but now I can’t anymore” about an area he is filming. Another scene of ambiance comes in as black and white footage, which uses the full body shot of Laro from the previous round and also produces a card that says "I was moved by the last round but do not know how to respond to it without sounding and looking like an arrogant and insulting dickhead", with the previous undressing footage playing over it in an even thinner silhouette to the point of being just an outline. The card is then flipped over which reads "OMG I'm self conscious! So meta and deep! HOLY FUCKERY!" both sides of which are in English. He then proceeds to crumple the paper up as the video enters into a hyperactive flurry of different videos over a soft yet strong wind-like noise, which builds in intensity before cutting to a more controlled segment, involving another layering trick using the cat from previously. “I DON’T KNOW HOW TO PRONOUNCE” re-enters along with “FUCK OFF-OFF-OFF-OFF” in a midst a series scene-style editing, including La Vie asking “Okay, from there, where do we go? ... It’s hard, really.” The COMMUNICATIVE TENNIS drawing reappears in the same added footage here, which then dissolves into the footage of the same drawing used earlier before ending the video on edits made to the "bonus tv special" before.


Round 6

Here (with the title of "We should have got rid of Zoidberg")much of the video is made up of added footage with very little of the previous round being visually present, but a lot more emotional and thematic elements are introduced here which is a step further in some respects from those introduced in round 4. It begins with an intro of Laro climbing into bed and saying "good night", which then switches to an inverted clip of "Round 6 - my turn" being written in reverse to a song that begins with a harsh noise and intercut with footage of Laro playing drums. It then inserts over the english-written title card from La Vie's previous round with another note that says "“I’M SCARED But I exist. [...] I try to assume myself [...] I’m focusing[...] I want to change [...] I’ve been to the point of changing [...]" while we hear her say “Is that feminine? That’s thin and all ... no it’s not. It’s ugly” hinting toward the thoughts and struggles of feeling suitably female (as Laro is transgender). Following this is a segment involving the use of numerous digital clocks in which one has the previous round chroma-keyed inside of it, with Laro saying “It’s Monday, in June ... it’s 20°C in my room. It’s between 1:40 and 1:49. AM.” with her phone then saying “At the next top, it’ll be 1 hour, 52 minutes, 30 seconds.” and Laro responding back with “Here you go, everything’s in place. Sort of. The same hour.” She then seems to take on the persona of a voice inside of her head that yells “GOD DAMMIT LARO! Your bed is a mess, what do you call that, clean?” and “Shut up! Have you heard yourself talking? Oh yeah, totally not pervy, that wallpaper, awesome! Congrats! Write better than that, it’s disgusting! Tighten your legs, dammit”(between this there is a brief segment showing footage of a skype call in which Sid and La Vie can both be seen present in which she remarks “Sid, you’re such a pig!” in an ironic tone). She then is heard saying “I’m sick of listening to myself as time passes” as another "voice" of hers says “Oh yeah, that’s right, now be all depressed and shit “Oooh I’m sad because I wanna be like that” but there’s nothing in you that looks like what you wanna fucking be!”, which has her finishing with “You’re not doing any effort”. Here La Vie's question of “From there, where do we go?” returns from the previous round, which then returns to Laro now talking in an intense tone that towards the end gives off the feeling of desperation and sadness: “I DON’T KNOW WHERE WE GO I DON’T KNOW WHAT I’M DOING I DO
NOTHING WITH MY LIFE ... audio glitches”


The next scene has a complete reversal in tone, with the previous one still however present though more underlying than previously, creating an interesting contrasting duality of feeling and tone throughout the remainder of this video. While one layer of audio has Laro speaking rather pleasantly with “Hello everyone! I hope everyone’s all right, Laromande here and we’re here for a searching challenge video! Oh hey, I gotta cross the road! ... Hey, that Subway is still closed, I’ve been waiting for years, I’ve had it! Aaah fuck, where is it?’” under it we hear a second voice that says “I want to break everything ... it’s not pretty, it’s all difformed
and weird”. With "I could have" flashing on screen ending this segment, which video-wise is all added footage taken around a public transport. There is then a more upscale visual treatment done of a complete stranger that Laro happens to capture on film, which then resets to the default footage in which she is saying “Thank you very much! Good luck! ... here you go. I’ve given people my blessing. I’ve done something good, so now my karma should be good. I’ll be whatever I want to be in my next life! Right? Hehehe, that’s funny. Fuck.”

The peice of paper that ends the round reads “I’m only hanging out with guys, I’m making YTPS, but almost no girl likes this. I listen to hardcore, but ... - Nothing in me ... is close to the ... that how I ... feel then. If even me.”


Round 7

This round (titled "I am all German Swiss") begins rather intensely with a lot of delay used on all the existing audio and particular amplification of lower frequencies, saying in the mix "18th and 19th of June 2014 ... Seventh Round ... I am all German Swiss ..." before going to a big 7 in which he is heard saying "I could have had something calmer to begin my tennis career, but this is fine by me." to point out how at the current point it has been definitely no ordinary first match for any player. The next snippet of audio has him saying "MICHEL THOR
ON VOCAROO, THIRD TAKE, YEAH, FUCK" in reference to a solo project working in folk-shoegaze music that has been active since 2013, which he would sometimes post lo-fi recordings under this name on Vocaroo. The video here is increasingly corrupted, with much of the previous footage being reduced to a hidden layer that can only barely be seen, while using Laro's self-depreciative dialogue from the previous round throughout this segment with La Vie saying "“Idiot, idiot, idiot, idiot , IDIOT, shut up.” over it, before transitioning abruptly to new fresh footage, showing La Vie in person walking down the edge of a small road. “To accept delirium or not. What it means for all of us. Intempestive trolling from the Internet Universe.” The phone footage from the previous round is manipulated with new footage to say “At the next top, it’ll be- Fourteenth minute ... maybe. I may be late too” which shows snapshot recaps of older rounds before then transitioning into the emotive segment from the previous round in which La Vie responds to "From here, where do we go? I DON’T KNOW WHERE WE GO I DON’T KNOW WHAT I’M DOING I DO NOTHING WITH MY LIFE” with “You think that i'd know where we're going?” // “Or maybe that, I don't know. We probably have other qualities.” This is then loudly intersparsed with La Vie singing loudly a song by french artist Pierre et Bastien called "Facho", in which the lyrics are “WE ARE ALL SPITTING IN EACH OTHER'S HANDS. WE'RE
LOOKING FOR AN IDENTITY -- THAT PLEASES ME!” The drum segment from Round 6 is then added on here with La Vie playing bass and singing, creating a musical progression at this point in the match. Following this La Vie provides a bit of thoughtfullness in talking about how a fellow YTPMVer and friend of his named Metalix said "that people were inherently bad. I disagree with that but in the end, I wonder if i'm not the proof of that, trying to always be loved in a sort of egotistic way", while "“You're still listening to RADIOM” plays in the midst of it. This is briefly interrupted by Laro saying “Thank you very much” before La Vie resumes with “But i'm probably rambling by now. I bet you're laughing right now, Laugh now ... okay, thanks for laughing.” The ending segment features a pseudo conversation of dialogue between Laro and La Vie, using Laro's dialogue from the previous round while the video shows La Vie returning from the street he walked down before, speaking into a microphone for his last two lines of dialogue:

“I’ve given people my blessing. I’ve done something good, so now my karma should be good. I’ll be whatever I want to be in my next life! Right? Hehehe”

“In the end ... i'm missing something in the end, now that i'm thinking of it. And the
simple fact that we're doing something together, the both of us, it reassures me for what's to come. You might find it derisory ...”

“Hehehe."

"But it isn't for me."

"That's funny."

"Oh no. People might find it derisory but it isn't for me."

"F-u-u-u-u-unn-y-y-y-y"

"Fuck."
"Fuck."


Round 8

This video begins with a definitive atmosphere in its utilization of dark audio and use of colors, with the first new added footage being of a rainstorm seen from around Laro's house. A cinemagraphically interesting trick is done with the camera and that both the audio and the video fade in to show that this is actually being filmed from inside a window, which was alluded in the footage previous of it. Much of the following takes on the appearance of a short film, very somber in tone, showing several shots of a cup of tea being made and a headless shot of Laro herself, before entering into the text for Round 8.

Now showing footage of a sign on a house, Laro mentions that "However, we're just 4 kilometers away from the linguistic border, that invisible line that cuts switzerland in two parts : francophone on one side, germanophone on the other". We then cut to books that say "ISLAM AND CAPITALISM / THE CHARIA : FROM THE SOURCES TO THE APPLICATION – A PLURAL CONCEPT / SMALL TREATY FOR FREEDOM OF LIVING." At this point only a very small trace of the previous round has been used so far which is nearly half the video in, but the immediate next segment is a continuation of the musical segment from the previous round. Here the beat is changed and small treatments are done to the clips from previously, which changes very little visually about the segment. An exchange of dialogue once again follows this reprising elements from the last couple of rounds, using the increasingly corrupted video from the immediate previous video(laro speaking first):

"Shut up ! Have you heard yourself talking? What do you call that, clean?” Such a
pig. Absolutely not pervy."

“Laugh now. Fourteenth minute.”

“.. in my next life ... life ... life ...”(in which LIFE appears on screen)


This now shows footage of Laro feeling and pondering over a wilting plant in a noticeably desaturated color scheme("Okay, thank you" from La Vie, "Eighth episode : Pain." from Laro, along with the following:
Jean – "It reassures me for what's to come. You might find it derisory ... but it isn't for"

Lucie - “Well I don't know what i'm doing, I don't know if that's important for me, I don't

know what matters or not, because i've got depression, because I don't know what i'm ...”,
when then transitions to Laro curled in a fetal position, partially covering her face (which is obscured by a pixelation effect already) and making twitching movements as if to hold in crying, while her voice is heard saying“Well I don't know what i'm doing, I don't know if that's important for me, I don't know what matters or not, because i've got depression, because I don't know what i'm ...”

It then cuts to video of Laro filming herself in the mirror saying “Here you go, it's 7:12 AM, and sadly for me ... I haven't slept yet.” and then to a supermarket where she remarks “I just realized that, shit, Lotus also exists here. Pop, do you know Cailler?(a respective reference a very close friend of Laro's, a semi-active belgian YTPer, as well as Cailler the chocolate brand) Cailler, you know, Cailler? The Cailler factory is right there, well, not where I am actually, but it's close, I could go there by foot if I wanted to. But I don't.” At the video's end, Laro is once again in the fetal position as before pretending to cry, the round being an overall further advancement of the emotion being used throughout the match.


Round 9

La Vie's final round brings everything together in a very well executed closure on his side, using new added footage of record player that quickly rewinds and fast-fowards many of the previous rounds making for a great intro: and also holding a title card that reads the following:

IRL TENNIS / DOGMA #1325

LAVIE CEST LOL // LAROMANDE (10 ROUNDS)

ROUND 9 : FUCK WHAT YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO BE (AND OTHER AGREEMENT FIELDS)

LENGTH : ?

ROUND AUTHOR : LAVIE CESTLOL

THANKS : LARO, SID, CYMS, KONTCHA, EVP, JFCLG, LOTUS

BYDL0, SKM, METALIX, PWOX, LUYI, BASLESPAD, GIMILIK, BLAKE(the following of whom are all people from the community that followed the match with great interest)

La Vie now officially opens the round saying "Ninth round. I'm in Toulouse, i just got my computer back.My computer, that fucking MacBook that breaks every six months. Here you go, a pretty sight. SiiiGHT-T-T-T-T" and then mentioning that it is 40 degrees Celsius(or 104 degrees Fahrenheit) where is he at, with layer treatments being done to a number of his added footage. He also adds footage of him talking about Occitan Schools called "Calendrettes" in Toulouse. While filming their respective signs over Laro's footage of signs determining the franco-german swiss borders, and then segues quickly into the musical segment, which shows footage of La Vie watching the musical segment from Laro's previous round within it. The video then takes on an intense visual appearance with audio clips from the older rounds all playing at the same time: "That's what you call clean ?/Laugh now./Such a pig/Fourteenth Minute/That's disgusting/I DON'T KNOW HOW TO FUCKING PRONOUNCE" and then over other old footage, has layer of himself saying, "Well, i mean ... it's not ... it's not that ... (coughs) matters (coughs) you give to things." Following a mixmash restatement of « I don't know what i'm doing, I don't know if that's important for me, I don't know what matters or not” / “That's funny.” La Vie delivers the following commentary on Laro's footage of herself, and the match itself:

“You choose not to show your face ... that's actually something I respect. Because I can't. I feel like I can't help but show myself, going all “hey, have you seen me? Have you seen the stuff i'm doing?It's not easy for me to say “I understand”, because i'm not where you are, but there are feelings that you evoke, at least in this Tennis match, that resonates with my own feelings and personal elements."

"I don't have a script, i've wrote one for round 7 but for 9, I don't want to. I don't

know if that's good, but ...”

“You're the one that chooses the things that matters to you.”

“My dear Laro, it's apparently here that I have to leave ... sort of.”

During this part is something sped up in english where La Vie talks about how sometimes there are things and feelings within ourselves that we cant always contain. The video then cuts back to the title card from the beginning now being torn in half, with Laro's speech about Cailler making a reappearance here and the video ending on La Vie's lingering thought of “I need to go to Switzerland some day ..." theraby providing a very effective and contectually meaningful close to his side of the match.



Round 10

And the last round of the match serves to extend this even further, becoming a video that La Vie has said "made him cry tears of joy". Interestingly enough while much of the match had comparatively minimal editing this round has segments which are by far the most edited segment of the round. It begins with footage of Laro at a concert for a french band called Gojira (which is connected to an inside joke she shares with Sid), in which she announces she is plagurizing a French Electroclash band called Salut C'est Cool, along with the beginning of the last round, which features a lot of heavy corruption on the video.

Laro then says this in response to La Vie's comment about covering her face:

“You know, you say that i'm not showing my face, it's funny that you talk about it, because it's not really a question of intimacy or to protect my identity, it's some sort of fear of time. Like when i'm watching my videos and I'm like “Hey, I looked like that back then!”, I don't want to

... aaah, what i'm saying isn't clear.

(La Vie comes in between this with again “I ... DON'T ... KNOW ... HOW ... TO ... PRONOUNCE ...”)


“I don't want to see these like something i've done in the past. Even though it'll still be the case and i'll know that but ... well, I also don't like my face in general. That's a good reason too. Although, recently, i've made progress in accepting myself, as well as the ... appearance aspect."


Throughout much of this round the video is Laro sitting on a chair with her face obscured through some means of editing while clips from the previous round play in various windows/shapes around her, while there is also a composite layer showing film of the first round of the match of her computer screen. It also shows her without something obscurring her face although the video is considerably blurred with another composite layer on top.

The text on screen which reads "LAST ROUND, thank you" then transitions into footage of her printing a peice of paper that reads "JEANWOODBOY(an alternate alias for La Vie) LAROMANDE IRLTENNIS RON10LAST / All the best, Lucie. / Synthesis, Summary, Finality, Conclusion, Mystr da biutiful", with a song titled "Mystr le bo" playing as the final song of the match as Laro proceeds to light this paper on fire. The match concludes with the video fading out on a zoom in shot of the first round of the match's title, in sync with a distorted noise that fades to silence.





La Vie has stated that "While I of course can't speak for Laromande, I can safely say that this match is the best thing i've ever done, artistically speaking, in my life so far. And i'm not saying that to just praise Laromande's work, or to just emphasize for the sake of emphasizing, but because it's something which made me go through a lot of thinking, and its creation made me a more complete human being afterwards." As well as calling it "a great artistic expreience, and in all, one of the most humanly things i think i've done in the twenty years i've been on this planet." As a tennis match this breaches creative endevours that once again have almost never been attempted for as long as tennis has existed. I found myself quite stuck on how to review this match in a way that I felt was accurate and suitable, for it expresses and conveys ideas in such a way that is not immediately understandible to most people, especially to non-french speakers, due to it's huge conceptual depth. Once looked into however and fully understood I can very easily echo La Vie's sentiments that he shares about the match, is that it is something truely beautiful and very smartly played out. This is a match that I definitely recommend any of you experienced players to check out if you haven't done so already, maybe not so much to newer people, as this is niether a particularly humorous or visually stunning match, but rather in some ways tennis at the rawest it could ever become possibly. A big thank you to La Vie for providing me translation as well as additional input throughout the course of writing this as well, I very definitely needed it!


Original Match thread

Full Match Playlist

LaVieCestLol's Channel

laromande's Channel

Blue Cosmo's Bit on the Side - It's Christmas Eve, and I've Had Enough Already

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Ah, Christmas. The one day of the year where everyone is supposed to be happy and together and get on and stuff their faces with dinner and open presents. Sounds great, right?

From the start I knew that Christmas wasn't going to be the same this year as it has been for a long time now. For starters, I'm not in the most... financially abundant family for one, and now there's not as much money in our family now (we lost some of our child benefit when my sister got an apprenticeship) so it hasn't been as easy as before, but that's not too big a problem I guess. It's mainly led to getting less of my parents and having to buy more stuff for myself (did I mention I'm one of the best off in my family?). On an unrelated note, I've started to buy other people presents and it kind of feels good, even though I can't wrap them to save my life. But I digress; not as many presents this year because no money.

What makes the whole situation even worse is the fact I probably won't see my mother or grandmother much this Christmas. You see, my grandma (we always just call her 'gran', so it feels weird using the full version) hasn't been very well for a while now. She's 84 or something (I forget) and this year she's had to have an oxygen system installed, after she's started having difficulty breathing (caused by an infection she got when she went to the hospital, after breaking her hip). Of course, my mother has to look after her (my grandma's refused to go into care and my mother is the only one of my parents who gets on with her), so she's there pretty much all day. This has been the case for a while now; sometimes when I get out of school early I go to see her and talk to her, just so she has someone to talk to really.

Fast forward to today. I woke up, feeling horrible. Should have taken that as a sign, really - almost immediately my father and my youngest sister (who's 13) get into a blazing argument. Oh boy. I should point out this isn't uncommon, and practically all of us (myself included, as well as my other younger sister, who's this one's twin) argue with him sometimes, but not as much as this one panned out. I'll save the details but it concluded with her taking a shoe to his arm and *almost* breaking his pinky finger. Which caused a lot of stress - I was awake at the time and heard the whole thing. Ironically I'd just thought "you know what, maybe we can just have a half-decent Christmas this year without smashing each other's faces in" but NOPE, that's not going to happen now. So yeah, that happened, and my sister felt it ENTIRELY necessary to phone my mother. Who was busy looking after my grandma.

Now I should explain at this point; as of late it's been very stressful for her. Basically my gran's breathing issues have become worse; to the point where it uses all her energy to even get up. She can't even go to the toilet, it's that much effort for her. As it stands, she's probably not going to live much longer (a month at most). It hasn't really gotten to me though, as I've known she doesn't have long for ages now. More on that later. But anyway, now my mother is constantly doing this, that, not even getting a second of rest while looking after her. She doesn't want to, but she has to. The last thing she'd want is a call from my sister saying that shit was going down at home. I didn't hear her on the other end but I can imagine she's pretty stressed right now, so then I'm starting to get upset and that's the last thing I want to do because it's CHRISTMAS for goodness' sake.

This whole saga went on right through breakfast (which was a bowl of banana Weetabix with some grated chocolate by the way), and as such I hardly enjoyed that either. It pretty much culminated with her being told Christmas was off for her, and of course that went down great. More arguing, shouting etc. Apparently it's all been solved now but I suspect my father's just saying that to make me feel better because Christmas is tomorrow. I know for sure though it WON'T be solved and it WILL drag on into tomorrow and the future.

How do I know? Well for starters my family isn't what you'd call... normal. In fact, screw it, you know what; I'm going to take this time to introduce myself properly before I talk about them.

My name's Joshua (but everyone always shortens it to Josh, no questions asked, except for my parents). I'm seventeen (eighteen in March) and I live near the city of Newcastle-upon-Tyne in England. It's quite nice up here; I've always liked it. I prefer big cities rather than smaller places; I just live the lights, sounds, technology, all of it. Explains why I always want to go to places like Manchester, London, Leeds, but I can't because of course I can't because grandma ain't well, so Newcastle (or neighboring and rivals-in-the-football Sunderland) is the closest I usually get. I don't follow football myself actually; although I am a casual Newcastle supporter. I like all sort of stuff really - mostly involving automobiles and autosport, but my favourite actual sport that doesn't involve driving cars around is... darts, actually, I like watching it, and I did play for a while but stopped. I really should start again, actually. Given the chance I'd also like to learn to play snooker/pool/billiards or something like that. I also like some animes, but I've only really watched Sonic X and Jojo's Bizarre Adventure. I've been meaning to get more into anime actually - I have one part of a graphic novel which inspired the Karin anime and I was thinking of getting back into watching the Pokémon anime (in Japanese of course) which I watched in English as a kid. I might just try some new animes too, if you can suggest any. ATM if I'm going to try any new ones it'll probably be Girls und Panzer (the idea of a high school with freakin' TANKS is awesome) or maybe something like Death Note. Actually, going back to Sonic X; I like Cosmo from that same anime. A LOT. (Although you probably knew that already.) I don't know why I love her so damn much; I think it's because she reminds me of... me, in a way.

Enough talk about me and anime though; back to my family. In my immediate family there's six of us - me, my three sisters (fun fact; Three Sisters is the name of a racetrack in Wigan, England), my mom and my dad. Out of us all my mom is the most normal, but she likes things to be VERY organised (like OCD but not OCD). I've got Asperger's syndrome (a form of autism, which I hardly tell anyone about and especially on the 'net because I think you know why already), and my oldest sister (who's going on twenty years old I think) is on the autistic spectrum as well. My two twin sisters both show ASD traits but have never been formally diagnosed, and it's likely my father has it too (how else would I have it?). So yeah, we argue A LOT. It doesn't affect school life for me too much, although I get a bit help here and there which is extremely useful. It does affect my handwriting a lot though, which is why I'm allowed extra time in exams and get to use a computer, which is a HUGE aid. Seriously, I swear I'd fail all my exams if I didn't get a PC because the examiners wouldn't be able to read my writing. (Even though I got two A*s (both in English), eight As and a B in my GCSEs.)

But yeah, I know Christmas isn't gonna be all that good this year. The most exciting bit will probably be today, going down to my friend's house and giving him his presents. And that'll last all of a minute (unless he or his mother answers the door, they usually invite me in for a bit then). So yeah, not really looking forward to the 25th as much as I would like this year. But... I'm not actually all that bothered by it.

You see, about my grandma; I've known for all too long now she's going to kick it sooner rather than later. I've even specifically asked my mother not to tell me when she does as I'll be able to judge based on the rest of my family's reaction. It'll probably come as a shock to me, but I more than likely won't get upset. She's being cremated rather than buried and only my mom and my uncle are going to that ceremony anyway. But yeah; I've known for a while that it's gonna happen. But I feel that's only half of the reason the troubles of the world get me so much. The other half is... well, I'm too engrossed in fantasy-land to let it bother me.

I do read the Blog section of YC sometimes; and reading through t00lishness's blog the other day, I think he hit the figurative nail on the head. To me personally, the bottom line of rule is, and always has been: "life's a bitch and then you die". If you can immerse yourself in something that makes it that little bit less of a bitch, it makes the things that do go wrong not quite as bad. And life feels better as a result. I suppose that's why I've never really ventured outside of the Forum Games section of YouChew (and the RP thread). The fact I haven't made a YTP in ages is part of it, but I digress. Again. Seriously, why do I go off-topic so much?

Anyway, back on topic. I like to think that I have a good imagination, probably brought on by my Asperger's. If I can find something to think of that makes my troubles less, it's only a good thing in my eyes. Maybe that's why I'm always in the RP thread. I like RPing, or at least I think I do now I'm in my first proper one. Granted, I've screwed up a few times but I've learned from that. I think... as t00lish said, being able to imagine a better future, or things to look forward to, in an entirely fictional world with fictional characters, that helps me a lot. When I do post in the RP thread, it's like I'm making a story that I know will never happen but I like doing nonetheless; dealing with things that I more than likely won't get to or don't want to experience in real life. Hell, my current character is very loosely based on me.

So yeah... I guess that sums it up. RPs and the like help me get away from the troubles of life. Strange, really. Something that doesn't exist can help me cope with things that do. It's a strange life, eh? I hope you all have a happy Christmas this year. As for me; well, 2015 can only be better. I suppose I'll see more of my mother, and maybe we'll have more money. Who knows? As they say: "Only time will tell."

Except time can't tell. We can tell time, but time can't tell us. Or can it? I don't know. Or at least, I don't yet. Maybe I will one day. Maybe I won't. Maybe I've dragged this on for WAY too long and I really ought to stop now. Yes, I like that. That sounds like an idea. Damn, my first proper blog post and it's two thousand and sixty four words long. That's about the same size as my average school essay. How do I know it's that long? I used a word count of course. I also know the last word in this post will be "apple." How do I know that? I just do.



Apple.

Venty's Septic Funbox - My Top 5 Favorite Memes/Viral Media of 2014.

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Well, with 2015 only seven days away I've decided to make a few blog posts relating to this year in general. Starting off with my favorite internet memes/pieces of viral media online, some of which are related to videos games while others not so much. So in the words of cr1tikal, LETS DO THIS SHIT!

5. The ALS Ice Bucket Challenge.

Starting off with probably one of the biggest challenges of this year, the ALS Ice Bucket Challenge was where you had to record yourself pouring a bucket full of ice and water and then nominate three other people to take on the challenge within 24 hours or donate money to the ALS Foundation. I first found out about this meme after stumbling upon a video of Bill Gates performing the challenge himself and then later on I found out that other celebrities had taken the challenge after being challenged by another person. While its not at my top 5, I still think it was a clever way of using an internet meme for a good cause. My personal favorites videos of the challenge are the ones with Bill Gates, Robert Downey Jr., and the Corpus from Warframe.

4. When Mom isn't Home.

Its amazing how some of the vines that are around become really popular, 'When Mom Isn't Home.' is just one example. I found about this one after seeing a SFM poster based off of this meme, being the curious person I am I decided to see the original video. I don't know why but I think its somewhat entertaining, maybe its the perfect beat that kid has slamming the stove cover in a perfect rhythm alongside his Dad's Trombone or maybe its the fact they're wearing badass looking shades. All I do know is that there have been a bunch of videos imitating this meme and it has gained some amount of popularity online.

3. Shrek Is Love, Shrek Is Life.

Although this meme started out in 2013 as a green-text story on 4chan, it wasn't until 2014 that we got the SFM videos that brought this weird ass meme to life. Since then we've had two sequels to the original video, both of which have racked up a number of views and likes on youtube. Want to try and delve deeper into the meme? Then all you have to do is pray in front of a pile of onions in the name of our favorite green ogre and then you'll receive a gift from his swamp. Shrek Is Love, Shrek Is Life.

2. Five Nights At Freddy's.

Of course this list wouldn't be complete without the infamous point-and-click horror survival games that has made Lets-Players like Markplier shit their pants. Five Nights At Freddy's is a game where you played as a night guard with a limited amount of power at Freddy Fazbear's Pizzeria where you have to monitor four animatronic characters that have free roam about the place and make sure they don't catch you in your office until your shift ends at 6AM. What makes this game so popular isn't the jumpscares but the amount of suspense and tension you have to go through in this game. Its sequel was released a month ago and it has gained the same cult following as its predecessor.
1. Star Wars: The Force Awakens Trailer.

I know that some people would argue that this isn't a piece of viral media, but considering the fact it has ganered over 13,000,000 views (50,000,000 views on another channel) on youtube I think this counts as a viral video. A long time ago, in a galaxy far far away Disney purchased the Star Wars franchise and later on there were rumors of a new series of Star Wars movies that would be brought out in the future. Late November of 2014, a trailer for the new Star Wars film was released. Containing glimpses of a black stormtrooper stranded on Tantooine(?), a droid rolling about on a ball-shaped body, revamped stormtroopers wearing darker(?) armor, a mysterious women on a oversized speeder bike, X-wings gliding over the surface of water, and a sith lord wielding a lightsaber with badass handguards, who wouldn't watch this video over and over again anticipating the next movie?

Well, thats all for now. Be on the lookout for another blog post regarding my expactations of the new year either Friday or this weekend. Also, have a Merry Christmas everyone!

Tim, Tom and Jimbob - Tim, Tom and Jimbob in "Wholly Mothered: A Holiday Special" (2013)


Blue Cosmo's Bit on the Side - Pro Tip: I Should Never Post Blog Entries When I'm Frustrated

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It's strange really, how much can change and swing in your favour over the course of 24 hours.

Here was me thinking Christmas was gonna be awful, and it turned out great. Damn me and my pessimism. Everything went off without a hitch, really - went to see my relatives and all went well. I even went to see my grandma and she seemed well too. I really ought to worry less and become more optimistic.

Of course the presents were awesome too; most notably a brand new coffee maker (and enough drinks for it to run my own shop with). I actually now have 2 coffee makers of different brands. I just like coffee I guess. As well, I got an awesome self-stirring mug (it's a mug with a battery-operated rotor in the bottom to swirl a drink around. It doubles as a travel mug too, awesome) and a RC car from my friend (haven't had one of those in years). Also got a copy of Forza Horizon 2 for the XB1, again nice. And a tonne of chocolate. I swear I got the most in my family, which has NEVER happened before and is awesome.

I guess... pessimism is bad, ultimately. Or, it's good, and when things go right it's a nicer surprise. At least I've learnt never to make blog entries when I'm frustrated. I can say I learnt something this Christmas. Oh and giving presents is awesome too. Yeah, I like that.

Butcher's Blog - Sex

Butcher's Blog - Socks

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I've never had a blog before! This is all very exciting.

Minding Hawaii Wizard - YouChew's Upcoming Tennis League IV: A Preview, An Explanation, and a History in Brief

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Hello Friends! I am here to bring you for the first time in roughly 5 years upon the forum an upcoming preview of the next YTP Tennis Tournament about to go down in yonder tennis section:

Posted Image

Not since 2008 has the section attempted to host such a competition as it's predecessors, the Tennis League II and III, both fell under the fate of never finishing and has since as a concept been swept under the rug as several more competitions came to development and carried tennis over its next 6 years. The idea has however over the last few months been revived due to the expanding interest in trying out older competition methods that started around 2011, with a Doubles Cup II and a Tennis Cup IV having taken place leaving a new League and a new Season (possibly even another Windows Movie Master) being ones that as of current haven't been tried yet.



The idea for a Tennis League was initially developed in 2007 by a Youchewer known as Gallers and further developed and finalized by RabbitSnore, who based the idea off of a billiards league which Gallers himself was playing during this time. The idea involved the organizing of players into separate divisions or groups, the players in each who would play a match against everyone inside of their divisions once on a different "gameweek", earning certain amounts of points for wins and ties. After everyone in their divisions had played each other after a certain amount of gameweeks, the players of each division with the most points face each other for a final showdown, and from there a winner emerges.


In the tennis version of this, match play-out would go rather standardly: The player who would be listed first in a match-up(i.e. Player A in a match-up of A vs. B.) would serve with a video, which would be edited by the opponent to make the volley (or Round 2) and this would continue in a back-and-forth motion between them. However, unlike standard matches which last for 6 rounds, League matches would only last for 4. In addition, since tennis has traditionally never been a game with winners or losers, they would be dictated when modified for a tennis layout using votes cast by the viewers. Points are at a fixed rate of 3 for a win, 1 for a tie and 0 for a loss. The players who lose would also continue playing throughout the remaining duration rather than being eliminated like in other tournaments, playing each other player in their Division at different gameweeks. The official rules for League Matches as layed out by Rabbit explains more.


The first of these series of competitions were the Tennis League I which began in December 2007, and is the oldest YTP Tennis Tournament to happen on the site. Gallers originally wanted 8 players in 2 divisions to try his idea, but because not many people were sure of this idea at the time, it was adjusted to 4 players in just one division.
These players were RabbitSnore, Misscelaneous10, SushieBoy and PapaGonzales, with Papa being the player to emerge as winner.


The Tennis League II which began in January 2008 now expanded to 2 divisions and 12 total players, with BMATF, peskyplumber (with a one-off appearance by BMATF's brother BLASF), Terrorist, KingCornholio, SoldierElerium and LightningSpike playing in the first Division, and RabbitSnore, UncleChuckTH, strong414bad (with a one-off appearance by Wikiwow), SeductiveBaz, Gallers and Gamebop playing in the second Division. UncleChuck and Terrorist became the two finalists, although Terrorist would become replaced by Misscelaneous10 and the final match would only proceed halfway, leaving the competition unfinished.



The Tennis League III would begin conception as a competition that would later take its full form as the Tennis Season, but be actually started in August 2008 by Gallers under somewhat acrimonious circumstances in order to keep it more faithful to the previous two. This would have 4 Divisions with 20 total players, with UncleChuckTH, TheHappyFungus, ThaNuke, NS2, and Luioigi playing in the first Division and TheDarkRises, NutheadElMajestico (though initially DrKelexo would play in his place), zacheatscrackers, Erarg and Aesaun playing in the second Division. The Third Division would contain Temeku(MTB710), LightningSpike, WowComics, RealGenericFilms and Terrorist, and the fourth Division would contain TheWaffleMaster, uncle69er (who would be replaced by Locodiablogato), vvaluigi, Rillion and strong414bad. This competition however was ill-fated due to it's rather clumsy disorganization, and around it's fourth gameweek the tournament saw it's unfortunate demise.




Now, what will be the Tennis League IV in this coming week has seen many updates from that of it's predecessors. Among them, the source limitation rule from then has been eliminated in favor of unrestricted source additions, the voting system changed to a more Olympic style where voters score players on a scale of 1.0 to 10.0, and the old 36 hour time limit has been expanded to 72 hours.

There will also be a record 6 Divisions with a total of 36 individual players, an amount that is only second that of the amount of players that appeared in the Tennis Season. While we have no idea who will be playing who just yet, a few individuals along with some of my own input have a compiled a list of short bios of every player that shall be partaking as of this writing:

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Dewmann - One of the most well known poopers who primarily play tennis, although he also had been recognized for his talents in making solo poops. He’s likely most well-known for his performance in the Tennis Cup IV, particularly the matches against CorruptionSound and theFXexpert. He’s demonstrated his prowess in both humorous and technical matches, and one can only hope he brings his signature creativity to the tourney. He will be serving in the hosting of the tournament for a second time through management of the main thread and assistance in other areas.

Ninero - Although this English YTPer is new to tennis, he began his career with a bang by making one of the most exciting and memorable matches of 2014 with valkiriforce, which put him right at the front, among the most powerful and interesting tennisers of the year. His blend of heavy hysterical effects and all-over-the-place jokes, always put up with a sense of pace that’s tough to top. He is one of the (if not the) most anticipated contestant of this league, and it’s hard to see him disappoint in that aspect.

fiv95 (aka GabrielCol595) - A tennis player who is surprisingly much older than most, having started in mid 2009. He lied dormant for a few years until 2013, when he came back with full force. By 2014 he was widely known for his tennis skills, as cemented in matches against Butcher, LaVie CestLol, and TheChutley. His style, despite being very experimental, is often very pleasing to watch, and comparisons can be drawn between him and LeSuperKoffee. He can be a very tough nut to crack, so his performance in the tournament will likely be quite interesting.

TheChutley - A certified veteran of the game, his style is far reaching and he has been known in the past to hold a level of versatility parallel to GameBop. While he has played many matches against many people, and is primarily characterized by the style he has displayed in well known matches such as with MycroProcessor and LeSuperKoffee from the Three-Way Tournament and any of his matches against Imaperson, he has since his return in mid-2014 developed a radically new take on editing videos, one that pushes his technical prowess more into the background in favor of bringing his more humorous and unserious side to the forefront, resulting in an entirely new take on both sides. His tournament performance will certainly be one to see, and it will be hard to predict exactly what zany antics he will attempt in his matches through the League. He will be contributing to the hosting of the tournament through the management of Comrade Ebola, the host account specially created for the collecting of votes and important event announcements.

LaVie CestLol - A French pooper who has an extremely high level of talent despite being very new to the scene, starting only this year. One of the most memorable moments of his tennis career is his performance in the MWTT, becoming its champion despite having just 2 completed matches to his name (not counting the finale). His style derives from both other European poopers he is friends with (such as Sid1325 and Laromande) as well as more atmospheric members of the Western poop scene (such as ChrisGendo and djninjalovemistake). His passion for tennis showed very clearly in the MWTT, and it hopefully will in this league as well.

NataliaHTTPS - Swiss YTPer who recently got into tennis, notably via playing LaVie CestLol. Natalia has a rather hybrid style, going from classical style to more abstract effects. One of the most notable elements in her style is the pretty broad use of data-bending. Pretty new to Youchew, but always curious about various ways of tennising, that’s why Natalia signed up after being asked by LaVie CestLol. This is going to be her first performance on a tennis tournament.

JowlHog4 - A rather young tennis player, one who utilizes simple but effective poopism and techniques in assembling his videos. His style is very “out there” and easily misunderstandable to a regular guy off YouTube. This is actually very beneficial to his playing style, as it appeals to many hard to please people such as MycroProcessor and TheRaz0rEdge, and indeed it doesn’t take much thought to see how JowlHog4 is similar to Raz0r. He was given very high scores for his performance in the MWTT, so it can be inferred that his performance here may become a favorite of the tennis section once again.

GameBop - Having played in every Tournament hosted on the site minus 2 (the first and third leagues) GameBop is considered by many to be legendary. He’s mastered all forms of effects and techniques in tennis and in regular YTP despite possibly having been around longer than anyone else, starting in January 2007 and not stopping since. He’s undoubtedly versatile, currently having played more tennis matches than anyone else within tennis and becoming the only person to ever win 2 tournaments. He’s simply unsurpassed in his skills and one can only hope he makes the videos he’s known for in this tourney. He will also be serving in the hosting of the tournament as the primary match organizer and statistics man.

poppop17 - Also a fairly newer pooper, for whom this is his first tournament. He’s made a name for himself with his strange, effects-heavy videos that contain surreal themes and messages. He became a tennis player with a very nice match against LaVie, and his talents have been recognized by other substantial members of the community like Gab and TheChutley. It would be very surprising if his ever apparent talent didn’t show in the league.

OldFashionedLizard - A surprisingly unknown participant in the league, having never played a tennis match before. He is one of several people to come from Poop Talk, and it’s currently unknown as to what kind of style he’ll bring. We can only hope that he comes out of the woodwork as a talented newcomer much like LaVie did in the MWTT.

ZACHTOMCAT - A young Irish YTPer known for providing videos with a heavy and disjointed atmosphere in his own way, much of his previous work however has a varying existence. His videos may display very heavy effects, while he also may randomly jump to simplistically edited videos done in Windows Movie Maker, that being an interesting thing to notice on his style. He has participated in a few tennis tournaments before.

NITROCONCRETE1 - Another young pooper and one of several people in the tournament to come from the “Spam Chat”, a Skype group which notable includes cupoficewater1 and SporeDotCam. He has a very solid tennis style despite only having gotten good recently. While his performance in the MWTT had very poor reception his style has improved exponentially, having made some rather incredible rounds in matches against Dewmann and valkiriforce. It is my sincere wish that he brings his newfound talent into the tournament.

TugCoat - A newer but very well respected member of Poop Talk, known primarily for classic styled sentence mix poops. While many people aren’t fond of these kind of poops he has made quite a name for himself with his talent, going as far as to net a subscription from DinnerWarrior himself. While he had never played a tennis match before, he has claimed inspiration from Dewmann and valkiriforce, both notable members of the tennis community, so one must hope that his style derives from both of those talented individuals in the tourney.

JammeKamme - A mostly underrated YTPer, while being highly acclaimed by his friends & audience. Mostly known for his YTP’s that prominently mostly feature a variety music. Although he hasn't participated in any tennis tournament before, he has played quite a few tennis matches with fellows from the parts of the community he frequents such as Gab and Butcher. His style is very intermediate, utilizing both humorous devices and technical effects. His videos are enjoyed by many, and his run in the tournament will most definitely produce some very nice videos both to watch and respond to.

theFXexpert - Chewiki admin and Tennis Staff member, FX manages to use classic poopisms to their full potential, especially while tennising. His main inspirations in tennis come from rather simplistic yet effective players such as thechairman45 and 1Superchops. Although he has been rather quiet when it comes to tennising more recently, he means business in taking part in this league, ready to face the challenges presented him with his signature style.

trepmaws (aka panicwiththecrisco) - While not having played the same amount of matches as his fellow class of 2008 contemporaries, what he has made before reveals a very powerful pace-driven style accentuated by his love for metal music, Touhou and old cartoons, making him a force to be reckoned with whenever he appears. This shall also be the 4th consecutive tournament that he has either entirely or in part hosted.

INTERGALACTICDEATHRAPE - A pooper who came out of nowhere, yet becoming known for having an intensely technical style with heavy effects even as early as his first poop. He’s only had one tennis match before, against Dewmann, but his level of technicality and complexity, despite him being a very new user in the community, often draws comparisons between him, GameBop, Metzgorrre, iamoutofideas1, and a few other acclaimed tennisers. It’s going to be quite the show to see how he plays in his first competitive attempt.

CorruptionSound - Long an experimenter and an advocate for the process known as “analog” pooping, one can easily pinpoint the work of this player by the VHS-style intro screen he provides in nearly every video he has made. He has dabbled endlessly in editing styles as well as in unused/rare editors and plugins, making videos that cover almost the entire spectrum of what is possible in YTP. He has proved himself to be a worthy opponent in his initial competitive debuts, eventually becoming the champion of the Tennis Cup IV. Here it is likely that he will put up just as interesting of a fight as he had done before.

Sploltoen (aka BSP666c) - One of the most highly technical tennisers around, with his very colorful, complex and mind-bending style that has been looked with respect by many in the tennis community. He was one of the finalists for the MWTT and is an usual tennis tournament contestant, having taken part in every tournament since the Three-Way Tournament minus the Triples Cup.

ravinrabbid123 - A rather classical YTPer, member of the Poop Talk community. Ravin has a very straightforward style when it comes to her one-off Youtube Poops, often using very humorous visual gags that one can relate to Danfango700 or KeeperOfPorridge. She has yet to play a tennis match, but all the elements are there for her to have a fantastic tennis style and make some very interesting rounds.

Alfonzopancakes - Highly talented, experimental YTP/MVer that started in 2012, recognized by many for his pretty crafty effects. While his poop style derives from decidedly uncomplex people such as KroboProductions, he has many technical feats to his name. He’s very well-known for popularizing the use of Avidemux and Corrupster in making effects. While he hasn't played a lot of tennis his matches against people like Gab and plasticfishtank were clear demonstrations of his prowess in creating videos.

theadventuretimefan - A pretty popular user that started in 2011. He has been improving widely since last year, his specialty being humor and jokes, he lately has been going to an experimental direction, with more diversity in his effects & editing. Even though he hasn't participated in any official tournament before, he did shortly participate in DiscoGlacier’s “80’s Musical Chairs Tournament”.

Soucisse Verte - French Pooper who began in 2013. His style is fast-paced and full of ear-rape and erosion, taking inspiration from Avojaifnot and cupoficewater1 especially. A friend of LaVie CestLol, he also was one of the many contestants to take part in the Batman open serve tennis Dewmann organized during 2014. He is now wanting to expand his tennis career and play against a lot of different people.

valkiriforce - One of the older YTPers around by technical definition, but it is only within the course of this last year that he has come out of the woodwork to show his stuff, which many compare to that as MTB710 put into a time capsule. He possesses an excellent combination of both high-energy pace driven editing in conjunction with quick-footed humor that for a brutally effective combination when it comes to the game, and he shall be someone to keep an eye on throughout this league.

Luiginati512 - A newcomer that frequents YouChew. He’s created some very interesting videos as a pooper, and while as a tennis player he’s only played one match (against Dewmann), it showed a lot of potential into his style, so much so that fiv95 subscribed to him. His style mainly relies on humorous mixing of visual gags and audio editing, meaning that a tennis match with him would likely be a very interesting thing to watch.

Ekrem3012 (aka Toplolen/EkremTheRobloxian) - A young and rather new tennis player who took inspiration from Sarevol and AygoMedia when he first started in 2013. Despite his rather simplistic style, he shows some potential and it will be interesting to see what he does in the tournament.

ThemOldaBoys - Another well-known member of the Poop Talk forum, who joined to fulfill a longstanding interest of his in tennis. He was one of the first few Spingebill poopers to arise after Kortez3000 and Hurricoaster, and people such as EmperorLemon and even cs188 consider him an inspiration. His style is very interesting, deriving from people such as MTB710 and Imaperson and focusing largely on audio editing. While this is his first competitive attempt, he has played a tennis match before against TaleOfNobody, and it’s going to be quite interesting to see what kind of matches a rather mainstream general pooper will bring to the league.

Metroid998 - He has played in tournaments ever since the Tennis Season in the summer of 2009, and while never competitively getting far except on one occasion (the Triples Cup, where he made it to the final match), has still been considered a fine player and essential to the contribution of any competition he has played for.

Razerek (aka FlamingRaptorClaw/FlamingPythonFang) - Heavy-effects tenniser who just got back into tennis after a small hiatus. His videos display a great sense of texture and technicality, as well as a pretty straightforward yet imaginative use of stutters. Having experimented in the tournament context during the first set of the MWTT, he now will be able to expand and give everything in the 5 matches he’ll be in.

theregularmaster - Another new pooper, who started just this year. He’s a friend of theadventuretimefan in real life, and while he of course has derived some of his editing style from him he has branched out into his own techniques in video creation. He has yet to play a tennis round, although a match against JacobketronCT is planned, so there are certainly a lot of places he could potentially go in the league.

NationOfOranges696 - A young pooper who’s rather well-known among the Spingebill crowd, he was infamous for the acts he committed under his “AngryBirdsFan9” account, however those days have long since passed him by, and now he is the most subscribed person participating in the tournament, having just over 2K. He has made some very interesting and technical videos, a good example of which is in his E3 collab entry. While he hasn't played a tennis match in quite a long time one can infer from his current videos that his rounds will be very silly and colorful, and that very well might aid his performance in the tournament.

InLivingTuna - Fairly new to but already a pretty hyperactive member in the community, Tuna’s style is always evolving and open for experimentation. He experiments with many dense pooping techniques, while still making his rounds in a silly tone, using nonsensical animations and abstract, frantic transitions. His dynamic and engaging style can make a difference in the tennis league.

iamoutofideas1 - An extremely talented AE pooper, for whom this is his third tournament. His style is very much inspired by the likes of Kurkop and Likety, and his videos are very technical and complex, often containing large mixes of everything from 3D effects to intensely colorful patterns often resulting in hyperactive, seizure-like videos that are certainly not for everyone. His style has been acclaimed by many influential people like CorruptionSound and Pokruk, and he is a welcome addition to the tournament.

Peskeh - Peskeh, despite having just under 1000 subscribers, is almost legendary for his style and quality of videos, having created extremely memorable poops such as “pet” and “MICHAEL.MOV”. His videos are very strange, experimental, and highly complex, many of them utilizing techniques and styles that have never even been attempted before. It was highly unexpected of him to join this tournament, as he rarely even plays tennis, however his participation is widely welcomed by the members of YouChew and much analysis has been placed on him due to his beloved style.

ProfesserCheeseBall (aka PCB) - Another user who, despite playing a handful of tennis matches, is primarily known for his talents as a general pooper, making videos such as the Filthy Frank Collab and the BURGERS series. His style is very hyperactive and crazy, drawing a lot from Peskeh and thatcomputerperson. His videos always demonstrate senses of technicality in both effects and stylistic decisions, and his participation is quite welcomed in the league.

Cornflakes - The latest to have signed-up for this league, Cornflakes has been known for his interesting takes in tennis matches, both in silly or in more humorless, abstract styles, and thus in his matches for the MWTT as well as his stand alone matches (especially his 3-way vs. Mashu and LaVie CestLol). He will bring his brand of original approaches in the mix when the time of the league will come.

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As of current, the players Butcher and TheBadBuffalo are signed on as replacements, and we could always use more people for those!


Divisions plan to be announced right at the start of the New Year in 5 different time zones, one for each Division with the 5th having the last two. The procession of match lineups will then be posted on the 5th of January, and everything will officially launch on the 9th of January. Come on down and check it all out if you have the chance! Be sure to look out for me in there too....

The Realm of Entropy - Mexico City - Your Guide From Possibly The Worst Perspective

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I have a bit of a privilege when it comes to taking trips. My wife's family is wealthy enough that her immediate family has been on almost every continent, so it isn't too uncommon for one or two or all of them to meet up in some country I know about two words of the native language. Her parents live in Baja California, so every couple years when we go down for xmas and new year, I occasionally stumble on the words to ask for the pack of smokes I want in some gas station, only for them to ask me in English what I want because I suck at Spanish.

My wife hasn't been home for xmas or new year in a couple years before this one, so this time, because her siblings wanted it so badly, there was a big deal made of it, and all of us congregated in Mexico City instead. The difference between this trip I just went on and the ones I was used to before are like night and day. Granted, Mexico City has a lot of tourists, but the city where her parents live thrives on the presence of us gringos, so it's all tourism, all the time. Seriously, that's the main source of income for the town. Mexico City is too fucking big to let that shit happen. A quick googling told me it's between New York (on the low end) and Moscow (on the high end) of big cities worldwide.

So, what I thought I'd put here is a few points of things I learned being there instead of in Baja. I would talk about the individual places I visited, but that would end up being the equivalent of a 20 page essay, and no one wants that. Instead, I'll first list the places, then I'll talk about aforementioned things I learned. I know I don't have the names exactly as they are, so I apologize:

- Leon Trotsky's home/museum
- Frida Kahlo's home/museum
- Anthropology museum
- Teotihuacan (wow that didn't get flagged for spell check) pyramids
- Zocalo district (which includes..)
- Hugeass cathedral I don't remember the name of
- Temple Mejor
- Throngs of people I will complain about later
- Zona Rosa (where we stayed)
- Watercolor museum (apparently one of the foremost in the world, but can't be arsed to remember the name or google it at this point)
- Mexican Food Tour (which rocked, and I will discuss, because everyone loves food)

Okay, I saw a lot more than that just walking around, because.. well, Mexico City is fucking huge. But, let's dive into this, mm?

Point 1: Everything You Know Is Wrong

I took two years of Spanish in high school. I never use it, save for my occasional trips down there to her parents' place. If I'm there at her parents' place, I can get by with English. Not so much in Mexico City. Sure, there are plenty who do understand English, and there are a lot of things written in English as well, but for a lot of the museums we went to, there were displays written solely in Spanish. I would have just said espanol except I don't know how to do the tilde above the n character. Anyway - her brother is fluent in Spanish, so he largely served as an interpreter for us. But, after seeing so many Spanish-only displays, and being able to read what the jist of things were, I got a little more confident in my Spanish speaking. Having a background in biology and knowing certain latin terms made some museum displays easier to understand. However, understanding someone speaking Spanish is a completely different world. The cadence of it is so much different than English, I can't keep up. Often, even after hearing something so simple I should understand it with even the most basic knowledge of the Spanish language, her brother would repeat it for me in English and then recognize that I'm dumb as shit, and yes I would like mas cerveza.

Point 2: You Think Wealth Distribution In The States Is Bad?

The poor and the wealthy are always together there. I don't know of a simpler way of saying it. On any given day, I could see a man in a well-tailored suit pass up several people begging for change. Not a gringo - a person who obviously was Hispanic, and was used to seeing this shit every day, as I quickly became accustomed to. I think it was Christmas Eve we were walking along some promenade in some portion of the central district where there was a formal protest going on.. and, as I said, my Spanish is terrible, but from what I could read of the sign they were holding, there was a group of about 40-some individuals protesting the wealth distribution, holed up at a big fountain with golden-looking statues, right in the middle of a place that had a few foreign embassies around. From what I gather of seeing Mexico City, that's one of the biggest places wealth conglomerates, so kudos to them for picking a good spot. I, personally, have zero dollars. I'm unemployed. It's only through the grace of my wife and her family that I'm even allowed to visit such a place. Depending on where I was, I would get hit up for money more often than not, but regardless, I saw at least a dozen such people begging for money per day.

It's not only begging, though. Some try really hard, whether it's through selling nick-knacks or playing musical instruments, all still practically the same thing, but at least they could afford to make that pish or buy that accordion or organ they grind. I remember one day, we had a lunch at an open-air restaurant that was pretty classy. I was sitting at the end of the table, my back to the rest of the plaza, because I have Social Anxiety Disorder and was getting worked up.. no less than four separate music groups played then panhandled after, and about half a dozen people trying to sell things, and an equal amount of straight-up beggars asked me for something in the hour and a half we were there. Ignoring it became easier over time, physically, but didn't make me feel any less like a fucking asshole for ignoring it.

I remember we'd sometimes have to get some rot like milk or orange juice or cigarettes, so we'd trundle down to the 7-11 down the block. More often than not, there'd be some child, no older than 7, just hanging out in front of there with a plastic neon piggy bank, asking for change. You ever feel pissed and sad at the same time? That's exactly what I was feeling. Not pissed at the kids, but their parents, who undoubtedly sent them out to get money by their lonesome. But, I suppose no one was going to hurt them. It's just culture shock to me. Sad, of course, because they were sitting outside a convenience store at any given hour hoping for centavos.

Point 3: Everyone's Family Is Fucking Crazy

For you math fanatics, I have a little equation: a family of 6, two of which are seniors, four of which are married, have to spend over a week together in an apartment with four beds, one and a half bathrooms, and all of the above are at least 30 years old. How long does it take for the aliens to purple when 3 is hats? The answer, obviously, is 9, because green isn't as gauche as polymorphing into a slug.

Seriously, six people living together under the same roof when they don't collide for most of the year is a fucking terrible idea. Everyone wants to control everything under their own perspective, to make sure things run smoothly according to their own perception of what 'smoothly' is, and everyone just ends up arguing with each other.

I, happily, was able to maintain my distance and just watch the drama unfold. Seriously, if you're a fan of soap operas, just pack up your family and send them to an exotic location.

I know my family is... backwater, to put it nicely. I spoke with my mother on the phone earlier to let her know I'm back from Mexico and not, you know, dead, and started to explain some of the stuff we went to see, then stopped when I had to explain to her what anthropology is. At that point, I almost relished the constant bickering of her side of the family, because I imagine if you dropped mine off in there, at least three would have been dead, a few would have been taken for everything they own by the constant begging, and maybe one or two would have got ganked in Zona Rosa.

Point 4: Don't Go To A Very Urban Place If You Have Social Anxiety Disorder

Christmas day, we went to Zocolo, which maybe I'm spelling wrong, but regardless - metric fucktons of people there. I was fine being around it most of the day. We went there because we were trying to look at the xmas lights and the cathedral and the ruins of Temple Mejor. From what I could understand of the signs, the mayor of Mexico City was to address the crowd gathered there for xmas. Eventually, we ended up in a hotel restaurant drinking our various preferred beverages, trying to figure out where to go until night came and we could look at the lights. From there, we found a restaurant which was unsatisfactory, then it was night, and all the lights were on and pictures. ...oh, gods, the pictures... they never stopped for the entirety of the trip. This was no exception, obviously, as I'm about to elaborate on.

After getting back to the main 'square,' I guess I'll put it, there were tons of vendors selling pish all around the cathedral, and tons more people looking at said pish. But, of course, the lights were on, and there was Feliz Navidad everywhere. Tons of pictures. So then, someone gets a wild hair up their arse and decides 'Hey we should go into the cathedral' and everyone is gung-ho except me because please don't take me into that crowd of people.

I was shivering the whole way through the crowd, following them, not because I was cold but because TOO MANY PEOPLE and my senses started overloading. Inside the cathedral was a bit better, as I couldn't see as many, but was still shaken from just being in that big of a crowd. More pictures, of course. Then we exit. More pictures. I get a look at the crowd again, and I'm shaking bad enough my mother-in-law asks my wife if I'm okay, and my brain shuts off and I can barely hear the conversation, but my wife explains I'm in a bad way and we should be off. I can barely light a cigarette by this point, I'm shaking so bad.

Her brother pulls us away from the subway entrance for a couple more pictures and I'm scared and simultaneously furious now. Eventually, we get back to the subway and get home and I end up drinking about a half a fifth in a half hour, crying and furious with myself more than anyone else. I've had freak-outs before, but nothing so severe as that one, in all my life. I kept thinking to myself, "I'm 33, I'm with family, I shouldn't be doing this," which is good old-fashioned Catholic guilt kicking me in the sternum while I'm down.

But seriously, if you can't handle huge crowds, don't fucking go to Zocalo. Or Mexico City for that matter.

Point 5: The Food Almost Makes It Worth Going Just Because

I'm not going to lie, I had some shitty food while I was down in MX, but.. the food tour we took was grand.

You can find good food at the random food stalls on the streets, and some restaurants are good, but if you want to find the BEST food in anywhere you go, take a fucking food tour. This was the first food tour I've ever been on, and most of it was quite excellent. I got to sample multiple kinds of tacos, an amazing ginger lemonade, an ice cream unique to Mexico City (I forget what fruit it was made of, but it's kinda like mango), the best tamale I've ever had, fantastic chocolates made by a world-renowned chocolatier (he had some medal of prestige from Paris or something, I forget the exact story).. and if you DO take such a tour, do it at the beginning of your trip so you know where to go for good grub for the rest of your trip.

If it helps, my mother-in-law has been on food tours in multiple countries, and said this food tour we went on was the best she'd been on. So, if you get the chance - food tour the hell out of wherever you're going early on, then eat delicacies to your heart's content based on what you find.

I think my wife spent about $100 at that chocolate place alone. I think it's called "Que Bo!" if you want to googlemancy that.

Point 6: Holidays: Better When They're Not Just Holidays

All being said thus far.. not a religious person, but getting together for holidays seems mostly like a chore. I know for my family, the tradition isn't going somewhere on vacation, but shacking up in grandma's place and drinking yourself shit-faced on xmas eve, nursing your hangover through xmas dinner, then hoping you have the resolve to drive home.

While down there, we did have presents and such. With so much other stuff to do, though, it almost seems a minor point. I suppose the others liked the gifts I gave, and I did like my Pikachu cap and Eeveelutions t-shirt and Ireland shotglass (they do know me pretty well, I would guess), but.. there's nothing quite like making a holiday into a week-long extravaganza. Devil's Advocate that I am, I got my mother-in-law to smoke with me and talk on multiple occasions, which was nice.. helped calm down a few situations of people getting way too heated than what was called for.. and generally tried to get people to wrench the stick out of their asses and enjoy each other's company, because that's what you fucking do around the holidays.

Not the best xmas spirit, perhaps.. but I like to think I helped.

Shadzify's Somewhat Interesting Thought Dump - Time to ring it in

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Well....it's been quite a year.

I've slowly begun getting into this lovely little community much more, and I'm honestly happy for it.
You YouChew blokes are honestly some really nice people. Glad to be able to converse with the lot of you.

And well...as I look back on my Pooping career this past year, I'm honestly surprised.
Thing about me is, I seem to have this thing with procrastinating and being, in general, a lazy bastard. Yet somehow, when the time calls, I'm somehow able to belt out little numbers like these.




Even I still am not sure how. I don't claim to be better than anyone nor do I think my editing/Pooping style is anything special, but I'm honestly proud of most of these Poops.
And yet, there's still so much more I want to do or finish. The Equestria Girls YTP I started roughly a year ago has still gotten nowhere, nor has the last of the PONY.MOV YTPs I said I would do. And there's still so many other ideas for Poops that I have, but not sure how to pull off, or if I even CAN pull off.

......But hey, I guess we'll see what 2015 holds, eh?
From one Pooper to many, many more, this is TehShadzify signing off of 2014, wishing you all the best of wishes and luck....hopefully, that sounded right.

Stay beautiful, my friends.
Shadzify~

The Big City Blog Station - Pokémon Gen 3: now kiss, old and new.

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Time to drag this blog into the new year with a post, and for those that haven't played any Gen 3 Pokémon game, be warned that there are spoilers.

Like probably most of you here I got one of the Generation 3 Pokémon remakes (Alpha Sapphire, because my 3DS is blue). Now being me, I wanted to see how faithful this reboot was to the original, which meant a playthrough of both games. You might think: "why can't you just enjoy the game like a normal person?" My reply is: "I'm not a normal person, m'kay?"

Anyway, after claiming a copy of the original Pokémon Sapphire (since I stupidly did not get it the first time round) and cracking out my old Game Boy Advance, I started this comparison of epic proportions.

Aside from the obvious graphical differences between the two, was the fact that the GBA version of the game seemed slightly more demanding and difficult than the 3DS remake. There are may points where things are made easier in the newer game, like when you save the Devon researcher in the Petalburg woods. In the original he just gives you a great ball, but in the remake he gives you the EXP share. Another point is that you have to earn the PokéNav after you defeat the first gym in the original, yet in the remake you get it at the begining.

The remake, however, retains the old "obiedience level caps" when it comes to traded Pokémon. In other words, traded 'mon over level 10 won't obey you until you get at least TWO gym badges (this includes ones recieved via mystery gift).

Those are the main points of differences that I have found so far. I will talk about other differences when I find them.


ASSIDE:
To those suggesting how I get noticed, I am participating in a collab (although it might not make it, the rate it is going). I might keep those tips in mind.

Venty's Septic Funbox - My Top 10 Favorite Games of 2014

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I should have posted this blog post two weeks ago but screw it better late than never. Anyway, here are my top 10 favorite games of 2014. I'm choosing the following games based on how many times I've played them last year and how much time I've spent playing them as well.

10. Robocraft.

No, this isn't another carbon copy of Minecraft this is something completely different than what you'd expect. Robocraft is a free-to-play MMO vehicle shooter that is still on steam early access for those who want to try it out. Basically, you have to build a working vehicle with a bunch of parts ranging from cubes of all shapes and sizes to working components like wheels, guns, even wings and walker legs. You then have to pilot your vehicle and battle against another team of players until you capture their base OR you eliminate the other team. Now the problem is you won't be able to access all of the parts unless you managed to buy them in the tech tree first and the only way to get points to unlock these new parts is by winning battles. I've been playing this game on and off but I will say that it is an enjoyable game.
9. Sunrider.

Made by the indie developers 'Love In Space', Sunrider is a free-to-play episodic visual novel/turn-based strategy game that quote 'Takes place as we live today, in a universe reminiscent but vastly different from our own...'. You play as a captain recently assigned to a new battleship known as the 'Sunrider' and you're about to go into a tour of duty. Unfortunately, you're planet is attacked and you're the only free vessel that still bares the flag of its homeworld. You pretty much have to gather up some allies from the galaxy and then take the fight to the forces that ravaged your homeworld but that isn't all. You have to deal with some of your crewmembers (most of which are female) and you also have the option to interact with them to a degree that can affect the outcome of the game in the end. However, it should be noted that there are only two episodes of the game available when you download it on steam. The third one has yet to have been released because the developers are working on another game that has the same cast of characters from Sunrider. I personally like this game but I don't know if anyone else will, give the game a stab if you're interested though.
8. Plague Inc: Evolved

Originally Plague Inc. started out as a android game by Ndemic Creations that exploded into popularity but then in Febuarary of 2014 they released an Early Access Version of Plague Inc: Evolved on Steam. This game pretty much has the same premise as the android version but it takes it to the next level. The developers have abadoned the limited 2D GUI of the original for a much more sleek version appropriated for PC. Not only that, but there were several other future additions planned as well that weren't in the original such as custom scenarios (with steam workshop support) and multiplayer. Currently this game is on version 13 on Steam Early Access and it has once again improved upon the workshop support on Steam as well. I'd recommend this for people who like strategy games or anyone who has played the original android game.
7. Vanguard Princess

Side-scrolling fighting game? Check. All-Female Cast? Check. Skullgirls? NEGATORY! Vanguard Princess is a side-scrolling fighting game akin to the likes of Blazblue with a few exceptions. First off, all of the fighters are females. Second, you have assisstant characters who will help you out BUT you can't tag team with them. I haven't played through all of the characters of this game yet nor have I memorized any of the special move combinations (But when have I ever done that for any of my games?) but I will say that its an interesting game. Sure it doesn't have the cartoony appeal of Skullgirls or the wide variety of characters like in Blazblue but its still a good game to try out if you like fighting games. Just make sure that you have a controller on hand if you're playing the Steam version, I learned that the hard way. :wacko:
6. Counter-Strike Nexon: Zombies.

I don't really all that much about the developers who made this or whether it started out as a mod but I will say that it takes the original Counter-Strike game up a notch. Counter-Strike Nexon: Zombies is pretty much a mod/game based off of Counter-Strike but with a twist....There are new gamemodes with zombies including scenarios, survival mode, and an almost Day-Z like survival mode on these servers along with the default gamemodes for the original game. But thats not all, the graphics have been bumped up a notch or two and theres been an addition of a crafting system and a whole bunch of new content. Now, it may take a while to actually get the hang of the new gamemodes and some of the little tidbits added on but you'll get the hang of it pretty quickly. If anyone wants a good zombie survival game but can't afford it, try this out for size.
5. Risk Of Rain.

A rogue-like action platformer with a sci-fi fantasy theme to it, Risk Of Rain is one of the few games that has a unpredictable singleplayer mode to it that I find entertaining. Pretty much you play as one of several characters/classes that crash land on a planet from an escape pod/drop pod on a planet where you have to find and bring a cargo ship back into space. However, things will be a bit difficult since most of everything on the planet is out to kill you and the difficulty of the game increases as time goes on. Also, you have to deal with the fact that if you die in-game its a permadeath but don't be discouraged, you'll be able to pick up a variety of items that'll help you in your journey. Some items might give you a combat advantage such as doing electrical damage or getting high chances of critical hits OR they might be items that will help you outside of combat such as healing when standing still. There are also chances to unlock the different characters and classes of this game or grab rare items that can make your survival chances increase as you move forward. I haven't tried the multiplayer for this game yet but when I get a chance I'll let you guys know what its like.
4. Not The Robots.

I've played a lot of weird games in the past before including the likes of Xotic and Darwinia but this is one of two games I've found this year that are really odd. Not The Robots is a roguelike stealth game similar to the likes of the Metal Gear Solid games but with a strange twist. You play as a robot whose main objective is to eat furniture without being hit by any traps or getting shot to death by sentry bots. The thing is that no two levels are the same, all of the levels are randomly generated. Now is it a bad game because its weird? No, absolutely not! Its actually kind of fun to play and it also has some of its own lore in the form of audio logs found in some of the maps. I for one think its an interesting game because of how quirky it is gameplay and story wise but who am I to judge? If anyone likes stealth games, I'd recommend this to them if they feel up to trying something new.
3. War Of The Human Tanks.

This is the other weird game of 2014 I've found and I liked. War Of The Human Tanks is a visual novel-strategy game that takes place in an alternate Japan. You are the geeky/otaku captain of a legion of Human Tanks, weird humanoid constructs that have superior strength yet weak intelligence to a human being. You're main objective is to lead your army through the country and take down the opposing force that has been beating down on your faction. However, your crew consists of a human tank mechanic (who is also your younger sister), an officer straight out of a military academy, and a custom Human Tank with a somewhat airheaded personality. I find this game to be entertaining for two reason: First, the gameplay is decent and second, there are cutscenes and dialogue that make fun of/parody various tropes found in anime/manga. Now gameplay wise I'd compare it to Fire Emblem but instead of turns you have to wait a certain amount of time before you can use a unit (You can speed this up for certain units if you have the means to afford it.). If anybody is an anime fan that wants a good chuckle or two, try this game out. I mean seriously, you'll get some kicks out of some of the humor in this game.
2. Fallout New Vegas.

I got this as a late Christmas Gift from my older brother and I had started playing about two weeks ago. Fallout: New Vegas is another game of the famous line of Fallout games however from what little I know it takes place in a different setting than the previous games. So far though, I've started out with a female character (There are perks you can get if you play as a female character) with high intelligence and average stats. I've already killed off the powder gangers at goodsprings and I've already freed the sheriff at Primm but I'm still working my way along the game and I'm enjoying it. I'd say more about this game if it weren't for the fact I'm still playing through the beginning parts of it.
1. Warframe.

I started playing this game late 2013 and after playing through it in 2014 I fucking loved it! For those of you who aren't familiar with it, Warframe is a free-to-play sci-fi TPS MMORPG in a science fiction setting. You play as one of the Tenno, a race(?) of warriors who have been asleep for several centuries whose main purpose is to keep order throughout the Solar System. You have to fight off the warring clones of the Grineer, the greedy high-tech Corpus, and the monstrous beings that are the infested. A few months ago, a major update was released for the game introuducing the 'Archwing' a powerful device that allows you to fly and fight in the vacuum of space with a large primary or a powerful melee weapon built for combat in the middle of space. As you level up your rank and level up your weapons and warframes you'll be able to build more equipment and/or access new locations of the Solar System with a tons of loot to find. There are also syndicates that you can earn reputation points with and they also can offer all sorts of goodies. I'd recommend this game to anyone who plays third-person shooter games like Gears Of War and/or Mass Effect as well as anyone who likes MMORPGs like Runescape and/or Dark Souls.

Welp, thats it for my favorite games of 2014 but what were your favorite games of 2014? Post a comment or reply below!

Butcher's Blog - And

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Holiday was nice, but now I feel little bit of YTP makin comin on!!!!11!!!!1!

Lord Smeargle's Vault - The VHS Surprises: Episode 1

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On his 20th birthday, Lord Smeargle received a DVD/VCR, including seven videocassettes, four from the Pokemon franchise, and three from the Blues Brothers franchise. However, his lust for videocassettes ensured that this wasn’t enough for him, as he soon proceeded to buy and or find each videocassette from wherever he could get them. During this journey, you will encounter unique things that you may have never seen or heard of before… and a lot of beaten up videocassettes and covers. Join Lord Smeargle, as he proceeds to show you…
…The VHS Surprises…
Welcome to a blog series that’ll be my first of many surprises to come. I have been planning this blog series for some time, yet I was trying to figure out when the right time for this was, and what would be chosen as the first episode. Eventually I said ‘enough was enough’, chosen a movie, and here it is. Anyway…

Our first VHS that makes its debut is from a company that proclaimed itself as ‘King of Video’, which it claimed to boast at the time. However, the company appears to be the Australian Home Video equivalent to Cannon Films, releasing action movies (in King of Video’s case, martial arts movies), though like Cannon, they have branched out their output at some point. However, there are only a few ounces of variety that are known to exist from this company as of now, such as an animation film in Dick Deadeye, a horror film in The Forest, and a comedy film fittingly titled Swap Meet, which I’ll be talking about today.


(credit goes to ligeea for the trailer.)

The main reason why I’ve got this videocassette was that it's from the titular company, with the videocassettes (much like most of the Australian Home Video companies in Publishing and Broadcasting Video, Video Classics, and even the earliest Roadshow Home Video releases from the 80’s) becoming as rare as hen’s teeth nowadays. However, when I got the videocassette, it wasn’t very presentable at all, with the slick and the plastic supporting it look messy. The videocassette is encased in a big black plastic cover, which was a common range at the time in Australia, especially with the clamshells.

Another thing that you’ll find interesting is that the text box on the back of the cover slick actually gives away the whole story from start to finish, which will make you question ‘why did you buy this videocassette’ when you know the plot of the movie. To make matters worse, the slick is ugly, with the most attractive thing about this is the front cover, which looks cartoonish at best. The side and back part of the slick looks unattractive, with red text on the spine, and a huge yellow text box on the back. It also features a few stickers not worth mentioning, including a sticker indicating that it is in fact a VHS. Maybe it’s their way of telling us what it is on the inside...

But as the cover is opened, it is in fact a black videocassette, in decent condition, I might add! The top and front stickers are remarkably intact… which is what I would be saying if the top sticker wasn’t obstructed by a smaller sticker, meaning that the only way I can find out what the rating is for this movie (which is rated M by the way in the land down under), is on the front sticker of the VHS and the VHS cover itself). It also had an engraving of a crown on the top right side of the VHS, which is a really out there thing, even when it was from the 80’s. It also carried a few other stickers as well:
  • A ‘Video Ezy Dee Why T54643’ Barcode Sticker on top left side of the VHS
  • A 'Video Ezy' Top sticker which obstructed the other top sticker.
  • A 'Cleaned and Serviced by RTI Tapechek' Sticker (most likely a VHS-repairing company).
  • It also used to carry a rectangular sticker on the left side of the VHS's view, judging by what's left of it.
As I popped in the videocassette, I had to rewind this film before I could try to enjoy viewing this film. There were some minor problems, but it rewound to the start, where it immediately jumped to the ‘King of Video’ logo. However, it was hard to tell what the logo looked like, because of the VHS’s horrendous quality (at the start at least), which is where I could only tell that it ended on a coin saying ‘King of Video Australia’. While I could question why it dropped the “Australia’ part of the logo as the years went on, I could understand this, given that there was another company named ‘King of Video’, coincidentally in the early 80’s.

Surprisingly, however, the videocassette managed to alleviate the problem only in the first minute, with only a few snow streaks throughout the movie. Sure, it’s not in high quality, but it’s in better condition at the end of the movie, unlike Roy’s poor Ferrari. However, it begins abruptly, and ends abruptly, with only the logo, the warning and the movie shown in that order.

Speaking of the movie, even though the plot is spoiled, I like to think of this movie as having no plot, as it is just a film about what goes on at a market which is near the drive-in. It is at least quick, with the videocassette finishing when the movie finally finishes (81 minutes in), without any credits for the songs used, including the titular song from the movie. And if one notices, you can see both actor/occasional director Danny DeVito and Cheers star Rhea Perlman in this movie.

Getting back on topic, the movie manages to eject without a problem as well, especially when it rewinds a second time. In the end, the VHS is a huge surprise. While the movie is definitely nothing special, and the cover is nothing to write home about, the videocassette is in surprisingly good condition, and the film is decent as well, especially when it’s from 30 years ago. If you can find such a copy of this in good condition, I would recommend watching this movie on a weekend in Summer. I personally think that it’s not as bad as what most people think of this movie, especially when it’s cheesy, plotless and lacking music credits.

Final Verdict
VHS Cover: 3.5/10. It looked ugly at best.
Videocassette: 7.5/10. Aside from the obstructed top label, everything about this videocassette was interesting to see at the time.
Quality: 6/10. For a 30-Year Old Videocassette, it is a top mark.
Logo: 2.5/10. It doesn’t help that it began at the very beginning with the logo almost done and completely obstructed by the white streaks in the first minute of the VHS.
Warning: 1.5/10. It wasn’t informative and it was unappealing.
Final Score: 21/50 – Below Average.

Tim, Tom and Jimbob - Tim, Tom and Jimbob in "Wholly Mothered: A Holiday Special" (2013)

YouChew Football - Beginning of a Dynasty

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Recently, I decided to make an (American) Football team featuring forum members as players. I'll be using this team for at least one season, and I'll try to keep track of stats, injuries and other stuff along the way. I should note that I'm using a copy of NCAA Football 2005. Every member should have maxed out stats, and can theoretically play any position.

So, here is the roster for your 2015 YouChew Spadinners.

Spoiler


"But Benedetto, I don't know anything about American Football."

That's fine. Here's a primer if you're interested. The rules and positions are the most important parts. If you have any questions, I'll do my best to answer them.

"Why am I not on the roster?"

The roster is limited. Sorry.

"Why NCAA 2005? That's a really old game."

True. I have 3 other football games, but as far as I could tell, they didn't have Create-a-Team modes. Not the kind I wanted, anyway.

"How long do you plan on doing this for?"

Once I forget about the blog, until interest evaporates, or until every member "graduates" in-game and no longer can play. That's 4 or 5 seasons.

"When do you plan on updating?"

Currently I have no schedule set in stone. I'll update when I can, and hopefully each entry will cover about 1 or 2 games.

"American Football is stupid."

:(
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